Kick Start your 2019 Goals LIVE | Natalie Jill and Brooks Hollan

I'm going to go ahead and mute everybody. Let's see, mute all.

And I'm going to give you. I'm going to get started in just a second here, but I wanted to give you guys a little bit of an overview on Zoom so you can understand how we're going to be interacting on here, how this will all work together. And I'm excited to talk with you all today. So, first and foremost, if you haven't used Zoom before, there is a chat box over on the right side and you can at any time write a question, type a question.

Type a question, write anything that you have a question about. There's also on. If you hover over your own screen, there is a. You can press mute or start video or hide video at any time. I love it. If you keep your video on so I can see you and interact with you. And it should. And you can also choose speaker view or whole person view so you can see.

The class if you want, see who's asking a question or keep it on me. You can choose to do that. Also, you can always at any time physically raise a hand and say, I have a question like that. As I cover Brooks's face right here. You can physically raise your hand at any time, or there's actually a hand gesture you can press and it'll raise a cartoon hand for you. And that's how I know you have a question. And. And I'll call on you now as I. When I start the beginning of it, it's going to be a lot more of me talking, and then I will definitely be opening it up to questions, so I won't be ignoring. If you have something and you're waving, make sure you write it in the chat or I'll acknowledge that I see you, but I may not pause where I'm at that moment to jump in. Okay. And then I want to. The call is going to be about an hour long. Just so you know, I am recording it. So for any reason you have to jump off. I am going to be emailing out the replay. But ideally you stay on so you can hear and I can answer any of your questions. Sound good? All right. So first and foremost, happy New Year. Happy New Year. I hope everybody had an amazing New Year's Eve and an amazing first day to the New Year. This is Brooks. My husband is bending over like this right now, shrinking down to say hi. He's going to be on the call, too. I am going to have him teaching and sharing a little bit, but he is going to jump over onto his own computer and listen in. But I wanted you to see who he was so you didn't think, who's this strange blonde guy jumping in at some point? So that is Brooks, my husband, who does a lot of coaching with me. So first and foremost, I want to acknowledge you for being here. Thank you for making a first step in being here. And I also wanted to sort of state the obvious because this is a really important thing to realize. I'm really big on being really aware of where we're starting from so we can move forward and build newer things. And I just want you all to, just by show of hands, if you agree that if it was really easy to accomplish goals that we wanted, we wouldn't need to be here. We would have already reached our goals. Like, who can see that it was really easy. We would just do what's really easy and we wouldn't need to be here. We wouldn't need to be learning anything new because it would just be simple. And that applies for any goal. It applies for financial goals, it applies for weight loss goals. Really, any goal we're after. If it was that easy and we could just do it, we. We wouldn't have to be here. So I wanted to state that obvious because there really is just no magic trick. I wish there was. If there was, I would have done that and I'd be giving it to all of you. But it does take just a different way of thinking and a different approach to make goals happen. So I would love for you, if you don't have it, I'm going to give you just a minute. Go grab a pad or paper, something to write with, because I am going to have you writing down some stuff on this call. I'm going to take you through some exercises so that when you get off at the end of this hour, you actually can start taking action on things. So I'm just going to give you a minute to go ahead and grab something to write with. If you don't have it, if you're driving or you can't write right now, that's okay. But you will likely want to come back later and be able to write these things down. It's going to help serve you and help get you to the next level. Okay? So go ahead and grab that. If you don't have it already, grab it. And I'm going to jump ahead. So when I see a weight loss client, the very first thing we do is we look at where are you starting from? What's your scale number? What are your measurements? What are the pictures? And I do that because I have to know where we're starting from. And you, as my client, has to know what's the reality here? What am I looking at in the mirror? What is this? Where am I starting from? If we don't know where we're starting from and we're not really real with ourselves, it's very hard to move forward and create something new and to get better. Same thing. If I was a financial planner, which I'm not, but if I was, and you were meeting with me and saying, hey, I want to save money, I want to make more money, and we were sitting down, I'd have to know, what do you have right now? You know, what's real? What's your debt? What do you have in savings? What do you own, credit cards? I'd have to know all that, right? We'd have to know where you're starting from. Same thing. If you wanted to start a new business, I'd have to know, okay, where are you starting from right now? Like, what's your current situation? Where are you working? What are your ideas? We have to have a good starting point. Well, when we look at 20, 19, we start out with these big goals of what we want, but very rarely do we ever look first at, like, okay, where am I actually starting from today? Not where was I 20 years ago? Not where do I hope I will be next year, but where am I starting from right now, today? Because that is what matters. That is what counts. It doesn't matter how AMAZING we were 20 years ago. It doesn't matter how amazing we know we can be. We have to get really accurate with where we are right now, today. So I'm going to take you through some questions. Some of these will apply to you, some may not. If they do write them down, I'm going to say the questions to help jog your memory and get your brain thinking, but I want you to literally write down everything that you feel you are right now, today that you don't like. So because my audience and I help so many men, everybody, I can help anyone. But really, since my focus is typically women, 40s and 50s, a lot of these questions are going to be geared towards that. So I want to just share that with you. Okay, so if you're not in that age demographic, they might not apply, but I'm going to read some of these questions. One first question is, do you feel a little overweight? Or maybe a lot overweight.

But write it down. Be honest with Yourself. Do you feel a little overweight?

And.

If you feel a lot overweight, what is that? How do you describe that? Do you feel chubby? Do you feel gross? These are words I'm throwing out because we tend to say these to ourselves. I feel gross, I feel fat, I feel chubby. Get real with yourself right now. I'm not going to see what you're writing right now. This is for you. You can throw away the paper later if you want, but really get real with yourself right now. Have a really hard talk with yourself. Like, I feel this.

Do you feel like the ship has sailed? And what I mean by that is like, I had my chance. I used to be great. I'm not now. Do you feel like that?

Do you feel low on energy?

Tired.

Maybe even exhausted?

How do you feel.

Wiped out?

Do you feel like it's too late, like you're too old?

Do you feel like you justify where you are? Like, do you think, say things like, I feel like I'm 55, I'm supposed to feel bad, Or I feel like I'm, you know, I'm just. I'm old and injured. I'm supposed to look like this. I'm a grandparent or a parent, and I'm supposed to be like this? Do you find yourself saying those things?

And again, this is just for you, not me. So really get real with yourself. Be completely honest. Do you make excuses?

Do you make excuses for whatever's going on right now?

Do you blame others?

Do you blame your boss, your husband.

Your boyfriend, your kids, your accountant, your whoever? Do you blame others?

Do you blame your environment?

Like, I, if I just didn't live here?

Do you feel that you've let yourself go?

Is that something that comes up for you? Do you feel like you've let yourself go?

Like you.

Do you feel that you hide how you really feel from people? Do you feel that you don't actually tell your friends, your spouse, your co workers, whoever, how you really feel? Do you feel that you're hiding how you really feel?

This is a big question, especially if you're in your 40s and 50s. Do you live in the past? Like you compare to the past? Like, hey, I was an athlete in college, or I was homecoming Queen, you know, 30 years ago? Do you do that? Let's get real.

I get so many messages of people saying, hey, I used to be this. That's why I asked this question.

So do you live in the past and do you find yourself comparing to the past a lot?

Do you feel that you hide the truth.

Okay.

Be honest. And I'm going to give you a moment just to write. Anything else I maybe didn't ask that you're feeling about yourself.

I came up with the questions I listed based on my own personal experience and from dealing with clients in this situation. Just say, I want to share that. And I also want to share that anyone I've worked with that has had massive transformation. And I show pictures sometimes because physical speaks a lot. Right? You know.

We can't really look at, like, hey, I'm happy now, or I'm, you know, this happened. But we can tell by pictures. But what I will share is a lot of my clients, like, this is Nicole right here. When I met her here, she felt all those things. This is her now. Okay, so she's not those things now. But we tend to look at the after in people and we say, well, I'm not that. I'm not that. And I want to share that. When people have felt that way about themselves. It did look like that on the outside, too. So it's okay. It's normal. But it takes getting really real with where you're starting from and understanding that.

Okay, now I'd love for you to turn the page or turn it over. We're going to start a new page.

Because that's your right now look in the mirror page that we just did. But I've got a really big question now that I want to dive into.

And that's, where do you want to be and how do you really want to feel?

And just like I did with the mirror exercise, I'm going to ask you some questions to help prompt this. Maybe they apply, maybe they don't. But this is for you. So I want you to write what it is that you want to feel. So some questions I have for you are, do you want to feel confident?

Do you want to feel relevant again?

Do you want to feel attractive?

Maybe it's hot or sexy, whatever the word is for you, but do you want to feel that again?

Do you want to feel authentic.

Like you can be yourself.

Like you are enough?

Do you want to feel in control, like you run the day?

Is that important to you?

Do you want to feel inspiring.

Like people run into you and they're like, what the heck are you doing? You inspire me. Do you want to feel like that.

When you show up on a date or with a date night with your significant other? Do you want to feel what? What do you want to feel?

Self? Confident? Carefree? Attractive?

What do you want to feel.

When you're playing with your kids or your grandkids, how do you want to feel?

I'm scratching the surface with these questions in this hour because I want to make a difference. Know that there is more work with this. Okay? So you may circle back to this to really dive deep into this.

Now, I want to ask you this question. I want you to pretend that we are on this zoom right here. A year from now. It is a year from today, and it was the best year of your life. Like literally the best year of your life. What are you. Who are you right now? And what had to have happened, with your weight, with your health.

With your finances, with your social life, whatever that is, what had to have happened?

It's the best year of your life. Who are you? What are you? And what had to have had happen? I'm going to give you a moment to write that and then I do want to. If you are open to it, I'm going to turn on so I can see everybody's face for a minute. And I would love to take a volunteer if you would like some to share this. It'll help. And I just want to let you guys know, this is being recorded. That doesn't mean anything negative, but I just wanted to share that it is recorded. So before you are sharing, you're just aware that somebody else might hear or see this. Is anybody open to sharing? Just raise your hand if you are, and I'm going to coach you through some of this.

Let's.

Alicia, do you have your hand? Is that your hand up? Let's see. Alicia, can you hear me?

Whoops. Maybe not. I thought I saw a hand up. Okay, let's see. Any hands up? Sometimes I do these and everybody's got their hands up. And some times there's no one, and that's okay. I just want to give you guys an opportunity. If you. Jillian. Let me see. Jillian. I don't see. Let me look for Jillian. Oh, there you are, Jillian. Hi there. Hi. Hi. Okay, Jillian, I hear you.

Hi.

Hi.

Would you like to share?

I just jumped on and heard you say, raise your hand. Oh, I was taking people that wanted to share from the exercise. Okay, go to someone else. Go to someone else. Okay, thanks, Julianne.

Okay, does anyone want to share on that? Okay. It must be because I said it was being recorded.

Okay, all right. What I want you to ask now. So the question was, pretend it's the best year of your life. It's a year from now, what is happening in your life. But most importantly, what had to have Happened what had to have happened.

For those things.

Ok? And then my next thing that I want to get into is the how. We love the how.

And then I'm going to circle back. So if you do want some coaching around this, I will come back to you to help you with this. Here's what I want you to recognize first. Your best thinking. Your best thinking, everything you know, your best thinking got you to where you are right now. That first page, that first exercise we did, looking in the mirror, your best thinking, everything you've worked on and you know, got you to that. It is so important that we recognize that because if we don't, then we're not facing reality and it's very hard to shift and become greater. So recognize, and just by show of hands, if you recognize this, that your best thinking got you there.

It got you there. If you don't have your hand up, I'm going to encourage you to go back to that list because.

This is really important because nobody can do things to you. Nobody can do things to you. So your best thinking, whatever age you are, late 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, your best thinking got you to where you are right now.

So something has to change. And I can tell you, I worked with enough people that I know the difference between. I can tell it, I can spot it right on the difference between people that make it and. And create massive changes and shifts and people that don't all the time. I can spot it.

I can spot it miles away. And I've helped so many people do this. Like that one I showed you at the beginning, like Nicole, I've helped them do it. And the first step was recognizing and taking that look in the mirror and being accountable that their best thinking got them there. That's the first step. Because that's. If we don't do that, then we're never open to shifts and possibility and learning something new.

Okay, before I get into the solution, because I'm going to give you some actual tactical things you can walk away with today. I want you to ask yourself this. What's at risk if you don't fix this?

What's at risk if you don't fix this? If you don't fix the problem with your weight, if you don't fix the problem with your confidence, if you don't fix the problem with your relationship.

Your job, your business, whatever it is, what is at risk? What's going to happen?

And if anyone would like to share, I'd love to coach on this, too. So raise your hand if you're Open to sharing that.

Lisa, you have your hand up. Hi, Lisa. Let me unmute you. There we go. Whoops. I just muted you again. Whoops.

Let's see. Let me try it. There we go. Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

So what's at risk?

Yeah, way too much. Being stuck in the same pattern over and over again.

Never getting out of what you're in.

And for me, it's been a continuous thing where, you know, you kind of give up on it. You just fall right back into that pattern. You never break free of it.

Yeah.

In the same unhappy cycle.

Yeah. So here. So what I'd love for you to do, Lisa, what you just said to me. Say it again. But I want you to use I. Because you said you. That's not owning it.

Yeah.

For me, it's.

It's not wanting to be stuck in the same cycle that I've been in.

Yeah. Because if you are, what does that mean for you this time next year? What happens?

It means I'm 150% more confident than I am now. It means that I am healthier than I am now. Probably about 15 or 20 pounds thinner than I am now.

If you get out of it, what if you. What if it got worse? What if you didn't do anything about it? What's a risk if you don't fix it?

How does that. The thought of even being more miserable than I am right now with every aspect of my life, because it seems to affect every. Every part of me. My health, my business, my relationships, everything.

Yeah. And that's got to be a huge weight on you. Like, mentally, it's a huge stress.

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you. Yeah. Getting really real with where we're starting from and what that means if we don't shift and fix it is really critical for change. It's so critical for change and so many. I've got to honor you all for being here and doing this work right now, because so many people never look at this. They don't do this part of the work. They just look for the quick fix, not the. Like. Let's look at what's. Where I am actually right now. What's causing it?

Okay.

Thoughts and actions are the only two things. Only two things in the way of where you are right now and where you want to go. And let me explain that a little bit more. You can be an entirely different person. An entirely different person a year from now by changing just your thoughts and your action. And I say the word just like it's so super easy and I understand just is not easy. But I want you to imagine, think of a role model that you have. I mean, I'll say Oprah. I love Oprah. Anyone else like Oprah? I love Oprah. If I were to start thinking like Oprah and taking all the actions Oprah did, why wouldn't I be like Oprah?

If you think of an Olympic athlete and you were to start thinking like an Olympic athlete, so you're waking up earlier, you are thinking that you're going to conquer the world, that you're going to win, that you're strong, that you're amazing, that you're talented, that you're gifted. If you were thinking all those things and you started taking an action like an Olympic athlete, like, I'm going to get up at four in the morning and I'm going to train four hours a day and I'm going to do this. You're going to. You took all those actions. Wouldn't you be similar to an Olympic athlete?

So the only thing in the way of where you are right now and where you want to go, the only thing that's standing between that is your thoughts and your actions.

So when I say the word just, I know that it's not that simple. It's not that simple. It takes rigor and commitment to change thoughts and actions. It's an exercise, it's a practice. It's not a, oh, I'm just going to change my thoughts and actions. And it happens because we have 40, 50 years of being who we are with different thoughts and different actions.

But the only thing in your way is thoughts and actions. That is it. It's a simple concept. It takes more rigor and commitment to do it.

Do I know how to do it? How to start doing it? Okay. Okay. Number one, right now, this moment, you get to make a decision and you get to draw a line in the sand and you get to decide. I have always said deciding comes first because it is the absolute first, most critical, most important thing that you can do. Every single person. And I go back to these women that were at my breakthrough. Nicole, here. I'll go back to. I'll show you Terri here. I met Terri here. I met Terri here. This is Terri now. But she had to decide. This is Susanna, a grandma. I met her here. This is her now. She decided. This is Amanda. She's a dermatologist. I met her here.

This is her now. Okay. Very first step, deciding. Number one, I'm showing you weight loss pictures because they are what's going to stand Out. Okay? That's what you can notice the difference between. Let me also show you this. This is me. This is me right here. Now, granted, I just have my little munchkin right there. That's my daughter. And I will share that I had gained 60 pounds more than I am now when I was pregnant with her. And this is. She's 11 now, so I got to start showing a new picture, right? I got. This is 11 years ago. But my point behind this is that I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant and she weighed six pounds. So the placenta, I can assure you, did not weigh 54 pounds. I lost my way. I was going through a divorce. I was depressed. I ate McDonald's nonstop. I didn't work out. I was miserable. I was broke. I had a lot of stuff not working for me. A lot of stuff not working for me. But I decided that was my very first step. I decided to that that is not who I was going to be anymore, that I was going to be a different person. So deciding is your number one first step, is to make a decision. I decide. I decide.

The next step. And this is what scares people. But it's not going to scare you guys because you all are amazing. You're action takers. The next step is you declare it. We skip that sometimes. We decide, but we sort of decide a little bit wimpy. We're like, I'm going to try. I've decided that I'm going to try. That's not deciding.

Declaring is telling people, telling me, telling your spouse, telling your friends, telling Facebook, telling whoever you have to. I've decided that this is happening.

It's making a declaration. Have any of you ever signed up for, I don't know, a test like LSATs, or you've. You've applied for a job or you've got. You've decided to get married at one point in your life. We decided to have a kid. Like it happens because you tell people a marathon is a great example. I've signed up. I've signed up for a marathon. That's another example.

But if you don't declare it, it's all wishy washy.

You have to make a decision. I decide. You know what's crazy amazing about deciding and declaring? It happens when you do it because you're now accountable to yourself and to your friends and the people that you told.

Let me tell you, at 47 years old, I had many of. You know, I had a rupture about 14 months ago. I had a rupture in My lower back, a disc rupture. I've had a lot of women my age have degenerative disc disease. It's, it's not uncommon. You can do an MRI on anybody my age and a lot of them will have that. And I had a lot of pain in my lower back and I really worked around it with exercise. However, I was filming in Miami and I was on a nine hour filming shoot doing exercises that I don't do, like not my normal exercises. And I totally did stuff I should not have been doing. My own fault, I own it. But I ruptured a disc. I ruptured a disc in my back and not only did I just rupture a disc in my back, it wrapped around my spinal cord and I lost use of my right leg. I was scared to death. I was scared to death. I went into emergency surgery a few days later. They took that away. I've 14 months ago now, so I've since recovered a lot of the use of my right leg. But I do have a lot of pain in my lower back that I fight with all the time. And what comes with that is tight hip flexors. I get this feeling of a tight hip flexor and I complain about it a lot. My husband knows not to you guys, but I play my husband every day. My hip flexor, My hip flexor, My hip flexor. So I hadn't declared anything. I just complained. I just said, my hip flexor hurts. My hip flexor hurts. Every single day. My hip flexor hurts. So I decided, just giving you another example, I decided that I was tired of my back hurting and my hip flexors hurting and that I shouldn't be in this situation. I decided it. So the opposite of it, if you can picture hip flexor is where your, it's between your stomach and your leg. It's like where you're sitting at that spot right there where you're sitting. If I'm sitting here, your hip flexor is here. So the opposite of that would be doing like the splits. Okay. If I were to bend it all the way. So I publicly on to social media, 3 million people said I am going to learn to do the splits within the next few months. I didn't know how I was going to learn to do the splits, but I declared it. I decided I was going to make this happen and I declared it. You better believe I've been practicing like an hour a day because I declared it. Had I not declared it and I just sort of decided it. I don't know if I would have practiced it.

Just one example. It's just one example. I declared last year that I was going to start holding these breakthrough weekends with amazing women where they come to my house and we eat together and work out together and we go deep and we create vision. I declared this and I visualized who these women were. I decided it and then I declared it. I went out again on social media, everywhere I'm doing these weekends, I didn't know how I was getting them, how I was finding them, what was happening, but I declared it. When you declare things, they happen. So if you're skipping that step, you're doing yourself a disservice. Whatever your goal is, you get to declare it. Also decide and then declare.

The next thing. Number three. And this is your secret weapon. This is your secret weapon. I call it your driving core motivator. Your driving core motivator is the real reason, the reason behind the reason you want something to happen.

It's the real reason why when people come to me and they say I want to lose weight, but they don't get to the driving core motivator, then what happens is friends happen, temptation happens, M&Ms. Happen, things happen. And then we forget why we're doing this and it feels hard. But when you have a driving core motivator, you have a secret fuel to help you stick to something. But not everyone wants to do the work to get to a driving core motivator. So how do you get to it? You go 10 levels deep on your why. And I'd love to do this with somebody. If you want to volunteer, I will actually walk you through figuring out your driving core motivator right now. So if you're open to this, I would love raise your hand and I'll take you through it. Otherwise, I'm just going to give you, I'm going to do sort of like a little role play. But if you have Lisa, I love it. Lisa showing up hard.

Awesome.

Hi, Lisa.

Hi.

Ok, so tell me one of your goals. Let's start with that. Let's start with one of your, like a big goal that you have confidence. Confidence. Yep. Okay. You want to feel confident. Okay. Why do you want to feel confident? I'm just going to. I'm going to take you through this process asking these questions.

So just go with me because I don't feel without confidence. I don't feel I trust myself very well.

Got it. And if you don't trust yourself very well, what does that mean?

Not trusting myself leads to me making very bad decisions.

Oh.

And if you make bad decisions, what does that mean?

Bad decisions make me unhappy.

And if you're unhappy, what does that mean for your life?

Everything else in my life falls apart.

Like what? Like, what else falls apart?

If it's a bad decision, let's say in my business, I wind up feeling bad, perhaps in, like, a social setting, and I'm not as happy, maybe out in a social setting.

Okay. And so if you're lonely out in social settings, what does that cause you to do?

Cause me to isolate.

Ooh. Yeah. And if you're isolating, what does that mean?

That I'm making myself even more unhappy because now I feel alone.

You're feeling alone. And if you're alone, then you're what?

Completely depressed.

And if you're depressed and alone, what does that make you?

Goes back to unhappy.

Mm.

Okay, so we're getting somewhere. Feels like a failure. So what I'm here. Would you say. What did you say to Snell?

You know, when you're unhappy, you feel.

Like a failure or I feel like a failure. Do you feel like a failure? Maybe you feel unconnected, unloved?

Definitely what I'm hearing. Your driving core motivator. And we did this super quick. But what I'm hearing is it might be about being lovable. You want to feel loved and like, you belong and fit in.

Wouldn't have even picked up on that.

Yeah, just what I'm hearing going there. And I would want to do a little more work with you to really get deep there, but do you all see what I did right there? She started with one thing, and we went 10 levels deeper on what their real root is. We're getting there. We're scratching the surface on it. But so many of us started that first initial thing. I just want to be confident. And then you might go buy a confidence program, or you might go, you know, whatever it is. And then. But that wasn't really your thing. So then you wonder why you're not happy later.

So it's really critical that we understand what that is. I can't tell you how many clients I've had where their goal was before they started working with me. Like, they were like, I need to make X amount of money. Okay. They make X amount of money, and they're wondering why they're still unhappy, or, I need to be a size, whatever, and they get to that size, and they're still unhappy. The reason why is we never actually figured out what that driving core motivator was and what they really wanted.

So it's very hard to get there.

And it's very hard to stay on track when we're not clear what that driving core motivator is. That driving core motivator can change over time. I'll tell you, when I showed you that picture of me 11 years ago, my driving core motivator here was her. It was just her. I wanted to be around for her. I wanted to be a good mom. That was my driving car motivator. My driving car motivator. If you ask me right now, it's you guys, it's my clients, it's who I serve. If I gain 50 pounds, all of a sudden, would you guys look at me for it, for help on coaching, would I be able to help you?

Probably not.

So your driving core motivator can change over time, but it's really important to recognize what that is.

The next thing, get very crystal clear on your vision. And I want to give you a little example here. If you got in your car right now and just started driving, where would you end up?

I don't know. Who knows? You might end up down the street, you might end up at the gym, you might end up across the country. Who knows? It would depend on what you feel like. What's the temperature? Is it raining? Where are your friends at? There'd be a lot of variables, right? Who knows if you just got in your car? That's what happens when people start a program. They're like, I don't know where I'm going to go. I'm just going to go. We don't know where we're going. But if you got in your car and I said, okay, I don't know how you're gonna get there. I have no idea how you're gonna get there. But we're all gonna meet in New York. And you're all enrolled in why we're meeting in New York. We would all get to New York if we were committed to going there. If we decided it, declared it together, we were clear we were going. We were clear. That was our vision. We would all end up in New York. Now, some of us might drive to the airport and fly there. Some might drive to the train station and take a train there. Some might get out of their car and hitchhike. I hope not. But you might. Some of you might turn on your navigation and fill up your gas tank and just drive. Some of you might decide to run there. Some of you live in New York, so you're just gonna walk down the street. There's a lot of different house, but we would all end up there because we'd be clear on our vision. But so many times we just get in our car and just go.

We're not clear what our vision is. It's a huge mistake if we're not clear on what our vision is. We don't know where we're going and we're not going to get there.

That's why trying doesn't work, you all. That's why it doesn't work. If we're just trying, we don't know.

You got to be clear, where are you going? And then how you can figure out. But you got to know where you're going first. I would give the same advice to a business client as I would a weight loss client or personal development client across the board. Where do you want to go? Let's get really clear on that. And not only where do you want to go? What does it feel like when you're there? My gosh. Get so clear with what is it going to feel like when I'm in that vision, When I am that weight I want to be. When I am with that spouse I want to be with, When I am living where I want to be, when I am making that money I want, when I do run my own business? What does it feel like? What does it feel like? Here's the also amazing thing about a vision. When you're crystal clear on a vision, you can channel in the feelings of what it's like to be there. This is where visualization comes into practice. Your body does not know the difference between it actually happening and you thinking it's happening. That's why dreams feel so real sometimes. So if you were to close your eyes right now, if we were all closing our eyes and I put on the same music for everyone and we had the same temperature in the room, and I started talking to you like we were at the beach or whatever. I could get you into a spot, maybe not me, but someone else could get you into a spot where you felt totally relaxed and at peace, like you're at the beach. You could totally get your body to react like that because you'd be so clear on the visual. But we don't take the time to figure that out in our life with what we want. And when you do that and you can really start getting clear on those feelings, like, what are those feelings going to bring being there? Then you start to really embody it. It gets in your body and it happens. You start moving towards it.

You start moving towards it.

Okay. The next thing, I've covered lots here, so decide it was first, declare it. You drive in car. Motivator. Get crystal clear on your vision. The next one, be really aware of who and what you're taking in, meaning who are you surrounding yourself with? Who are the people in your life? Who's your tribe? Because if they're not there supporting your vision and where it is that you want to go, it makes it very difficult. Who's your tribe and what are you listening to? Are you listening to podcasts? Slight plug for my podcast, if you don't know. Leveling Up. I do have a podcast, by the way, Leveling up, which has amazing people that think like this on there. So who are you taking? Are you listening to audiobooks? Are you listening to podcasts? Are you hanging out with the right people? Do you have the right environment of people? Or are you listening to the news, watching reality tv, following and hanging around negative people? Get really clear on who you're letting in and what you're surrounding yourself with. That could change a lot about where you're going.

You find different friends, you become a different person. I know you've all heard that we are the sum of the five people we surround ourselves with most, right? It's so true.

It's so true. So why not be around people that are going to level you up, inspire you, lift you up, encourage you, motivate you.

Make that decision that that's what you want in your life?

The next thing is actions. Now, we've all heard about massive action and yes, massive action works. You could take massive action and make something happen. But this is what I don't love about massive action. We get crippled by it when we think we have this hundred things that we have to do or 500 things we have to do to make something happen. Sometimes we don't even start. Does anyone know that? Like, you just don't even start because there's just too much. So what I'm going to say is, forget massive action. Make massive decisions, make massive declarations, but just start taking actions. You can take imperfect actions, as my husband Brooks talks about. You could take imperfect actions, but start taking actions and you put one foot in front of the other, you're going to get there eventually.

So make massive decisions, create massive visions and declarations, but just start taking some action. Just start doing it instead of analyzing. Like, I have to think about all these things I have to do. Just do something. Small actions.

And the next thing, make sure you are getting the right coaches and mentors. Make sure. You are getting the right coaches and mentors that could be people you are actually investing in. And when I say investing in, it's really investing in yourself. By the way, when you hire a coach or a mentor, that's an investment in yourself. It's an investment in yourself. My husband and I spend gobs of money on our own personal development, constantly hiring coaches, joining masterminds, being in mentorship. And it's never like extra money that we have sitting around, by the way. But when we make a decision and we invest in ourselves, we take action and we create something and it always comes back. It's an investment in yourself. So make sure you are doing that, too.

Okay, I know I gave you guys a lot of information fast, so here's what's going to happen next. I'm going to open it up to questions and coaching and I'm also going to share an opportunity with you. So if right now you feel like I've got everything I need, which you might, you might feel like you just gave me a lot of information, I want to go digest it. You're totally welcome to jump off right now. I will not be insulted by the way, so you can take this and go if you want to stay on. I just want to be really upfront. I'm going to be sharing an opportunity about my breakthrough weekend that I'd love to have some of you at. I'm going to share that and I'm also going to be opening it up to any questions. So I love you either way, but I just wanted to make that let you guys know that right now. So you are kind of free to jump off if you feel that you've gotten everything you need from what we've already done so far.

Ok. All right. And then I'm going to start taking some questions and I want to share. I'm going to share this. I'm going to plant the seed for this first, and I'm going to have Brooks talk a little bit. So my absolute favorite thing to do other than my podcast, because that's up there. My podcast interviews are so fun for me to do. My favorite thing to do is I do this a few times a year, and I'm doing two. This year is what I call my breakthrough weekend. And what that is is I invite women, small groups. I've done three of them so far. Come into my house.

Day one. We have a really amazing dinner, really great networking opportunity, and we really get deep to who you are and where you're starting from and what you want to create. And I help you do that. Me and Brooks help you do this in a very small, private group setting. This is not like filmed in public or any of that. It's very private. Then the next two days, we dive really deep into your personal vision, your goals, what you want to create, and we help you literally break through whatever has been holding you back, whatever those past patterns are holding you back. We help break through those with you. And what's so cool about that is I know you can relate to, have taken a vacation before or maybe like if you think back to a wedding, your wedding or something significant in your life, when it's experiential, when you're actually in the environment, you don't forget the changes. You remember the changes when you listen to me for an hour here, or you go read a book or you listen to a podcast. That stuff doesn't always stick. But when you are completely surrounded by other people working on themselves, also.

Committed to helping you break through, it's incredible what sticks and you make a lasting transformation. So it's the most powerful thing I do. I absolutely love it. I've never ever had a woman come to Breakthrough and say, I wish I didn't do that. It's never happened. They always want to come back. So it's a super powerful experience. And we are doing two this year and we're doing it by application only. We've gotten a bunch of applications. We just started going through them and Brooks actually, surprise called a lot of them to talk. And that's how we decide who's coming to this or not. So if you are at all interested, I'm going to give you the link right now and I'm going to write it on here too. It's www.nataliejofitnessapply and there is a the price. Everything is on there, the dates. So you'll choose like what dates you'd be interested in. You'll know what the price is up front and then you choose to apply. And applying doesn't make you any obligation. We look through it and then we would be contacting you if we think you're a candidate. And Brooks will be actually talking with you to see if this is a good match for you. So. But in addition to this breakthrough weekend, you get something really cool. Come on in. You get three months of deep work with this guy right here. Can you share a little bit about. He's kicking me out so he can share and I'm not going anywhere because I'm gonna answer questions.

So Let me. I'm gonna switch off the speaker view really fast just so I can see everybody, because I can see the hands. I just want to ask a question real quick. So everyone's been listening for the last 45 minutes. Who still has that little voice in their head that's talking to them that, like, this works for everybody else. This doesn't work for me. You're not worth that. Like, that's not something for you. Does anybody have. Is that voice saying any of that stuff to anybody here? There's a. I see there's a couple. There's a couple honest people, because.

That'S where I was for, you know, 20 plus years. So, you know, I've done all the motivational, all the rah rah, but there's still like this invisible wall where you're stuck and you keep repeating patterns. Can anybody else kind of relate with something like that? I'm starting to get a lot more heads nodding and hands waving, and it can be one of those tough things to admit, especially as we get older. It's like, I remember when I was 20, it's like 40 was like an eternity. By 40, you've got everything figured out. You got your millions of dollars, life is good. Then you get to 40 and you're like, holy shit, I don't know anything. I don't have anything figured out. And I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be. And that's kind of when, you know, you got to start doing that work on ourselves. And that's one of the big things where I've become. That's where I've invested all my time. It really took me a while to figure out that that's really my purpose, because your pain becomes your purpose. And I'll just give you my quick story. For the first 21 years of my life, things were great. I started swimming competitively when I was six. By the time I was 10, I was ranked fourth in the country. I was working with Olympic swim coaches. I worked with Michael Phelps coach for three and a half years. I went on to swim at the Naval Academy, qualified for NCAS Olympic trials. After graduation, I went out to SEAL training, you know, and that's something only the best get in there. And only, you know, 80% of people don't make it through SEAL training. I got to the end and I got dropped. 13 days till graduation. And it was literally like a sledgehammer just like took my legs out from under me. My confidence, you know, everything was obliterated for.

20 plus years. And so I get what happens when you have those negative loops, those patterns. It's like I've done all the rah, rah, different type of exercises, but really what it comes down to is going to that root cause and doing that work so you can change. I'll be able to talk about mindset. Really what I talk about is a belief set because I think it's actually deeper than a mindset because there's the emotional piece that ties into it. And that's ultimately from what I've found and the people that I've coached. That's really where, that's where the real gold is at. It's how we really break these patterns. And what's cool about it is back in the day, a lot of stuff used to be like, woo, woo. But now if you look at what we can do with our phone nowadays versus 20 years ago, things have gotten smaller, technology has gotten better. So they can actually look into the brain now. And now there's science that actually backs these things up. So there's actually formulas for changing and rewiring the thought processes in your brain, rewiring those belief sets so that you can actually, you know, actually make those, those big shifts, those big changes. Because otherwise, I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I've done it. You know, it's New Year's, you get really motivated. I buy some journal or some program, do really good for two weeks, maybe a month if I'm lucky. But again.

Natalie was doing something and just blacked out the screen.

I've totally been there and it really wasn't until going back and changing that program. And here's the thing, you can gather all the evidence in the world, but until you get that belief, set that down in your gut that you're worthy. Because at the root of it, I'll go back off, just I can see everybody again who's had some form of feeling not good enough, not worthy. Whether it's in a public situation or something you want to do, there's that voice that's like, you're not good enough. You're not worthy. So you hold back, you don't put yourself out there. And it can be hard to sit here and admit these things, especially on a zoom call. But it's like in that vulnerability, because I see a couple people in here that, you know, I've worked with and I'm actually, I have a small group that I'm doing small group coaching with 10 women. And it was just actually I might call on if I can find them. You know, call on one or two. I'm just saying, because everybody thinks that all this stuff that's going on in your head, that you're the only one feeling it. And I think that was one of the big things in this group, is that everybody got, everybody got to see that. Wait a second, you know, everybody else is feeling like this too, and all of a sudden you're not alone. And so really, that's what's really powerful about coming into these breakthrough weekends is you're going to really connect. You're really going to find out, you're going to have a tribe, you have other people that have invested in themselves. You know, you're going to have a support network. And then also we're going to do the work to really get there, to get to the root cause, to change that programming so that it can make these visions, these beliefs, all those things really achievable. Because I know that a lot of us have probably done different goal exercises before, and that's when it doesn't work. It doesn't work because that's how the mind works. The mind is an amazing search engine, but the way the brain works is it only goes to the past. It goes to the past for information. So when we go to do something, it's just going to go back through all the other 5, 10, 15, 20 years of where it didn't work to go, yeah, this isn't going to work again. And that's how we stay stuck in these patterns. And I mean, I was stuck in those patterns. You know, really, I started figuring out in my mid-30s. And that was only because, you know, here I was as a Naval Academy graduate, I was $32,000 in credit card debt. I had less than $5,000 to my name. And every account in the world, retirement, everything, everything I owned was in a 10 by 10 storage unit. And I was sleeping on an air mattress in a buddy's house that was getting foreclosed on. And I was just, I had such a bad scarcity mindset. Like, if I could just make three grand a month, I mean, 36 grand a year, like, does not go far anywhere, especially in Southern California. But I basically negotiated everything down because of, you know, there was a deep belief set there that I just looped in patterns and really, really ingrained those neural patterns in my brain for, you know, well over 20 plus years. And so that's why it's so powerful to get in there and stop strengthening those old neural patterns. But we're going to actually create new neural pathways in the brain. And then just like going to the gym, even going to the gym and doing arm curls. Wrong. For 20 years, you're going to have some imbalances. So the first time a coach or a trainer says, all right, we're going to change your form, you know, that first day that you do the workout, you're not going to undo those 20 years, but it's not going to take 20 years to fix it. But you can rapidly, within 30, 60, 90 days, really create those new movement patterns. Same thing in your brain with these new neurological connections in the brain. And so that's a big piece of what we'll start doing in these breakthrough weekends. And that's why there's the ongoing coaching that goes with it, because then you have the accountability, you have the teamwork, you have the community, so that you keep those patterns ingrained to get you through that crucial 60 to 90 days so that these things become your new way of thinking, your new habits. And then. Oh, Susie had a. You're unmuted, Susie.

Oh, no, that was. I raised my hand for the. When you were asking about the other, you know, to acknowledge something we felt before. So I'm good.

Oh, awesome.

No problem.

I was slow on the pickup there.

That's okay.

And then.

Does anybody else have. Real quick, while I got. Does anybody else have any questions? Anything they like to add?

See if they're. I'll check the other screen.

Awesome. Cool.

Where'd it go?

So you guys can feel free to chime in on any question about either breakthrough weekend, about what Brooks does with that small group, or on anything I covered. While you've got us, ask us anything. It can be any of your questions, and we'll make sure we answer those while we're on right now. We've got a few more minutes, and if you are all thinking about breakthrough, if that's right for you, please apply. It's not just for weight loss. We tend to attract a lot of people that want the weight loss help, and we definitely tap into that. But this could be. You want to up level your business, you want to go out on your own. Whatever that is. It's really meant to break you through whatever is holding you back so we can help level you up. That's what we're all about, is leveling you up to that next level. So, yes, there's nutrition and workout, but it's so much deeper than that.

Yeah. Because one of the things I've said is it's like it's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you. Like, that's ultimately, I mean a lot of times that's why, I mean.

We all have the information, you know. But why is it then we start losing weight? Why is it that all of a sudden we find a way to slip and fall and like go eat a large pizza, ice cream, french fries, like we start making progress and then a weekend shows up. Why do we keep self sabotaging? Why is it that we get in these loops and patterns? And that's the cool thing is when you can get in there in a short period of time, break those patterns and rechange that programming and stop that endless cycle. And that's why people are yo yo dieting because it's a continued pattern and it's also the brain looking backwards. And every time you yo yo you're just further giving it evidence and just makes it, you know, harder and harder that next time, you know, you stay in these loops because you just keep gathering evidence.

Is there any other questions?

Plus you get to hang out with us and we're super fun.

Yeah, you actually get to come out to San Diego, California. We do these in our house. You know, it's a beautiful, it's a 6,700 square foot home. We got about 2.8 acres a pool. It's very peaceful. We're about an eight minute walk from a private lake with waterfalls and it's just, it really is. And a really, you know, another. Yeah, it's a great, you know, in depth small community. It's a great experience.

Somebody's asking on the private messages, do the participants keep in touch? Yes, absolutely. We start a group with. So we're doing two breakthroughs this year. One in February and one in April. And we're filling both of them right now. We have the applications coming for both. We are going to start a private group for those participants and we typically start a boxer with them as well so we can stay in touch. All of my breakthrough groups have stayed in touch with each other and become friends and keep communicating. We do coach you for three months around these breakthroughs. So yes, it is more than just a weekend. It is full coaching around that. And as soon as we accept you in, we also give you access to whatever programs we have that will help you typically full body reset so that you have something to start literally like right now to help getting your mind right, your body, everything right. We give you access to that right away.

And I guess just to also answer that question, I'M going to unmute Sandy as well as Tori just because they both, you know, they both at least speak to the fact. Do you guys keep in touch with other people that you've met, you know, through this process?

I do for sure. I went to a breakthrough weekend, and I'm still in touch with all the people who are as well as the small group I'm in right now where we communicate every single day. Amazing. Love that.

Yes.

And I will second that. I also went to a breakthrough weekend, not the same one as Corey, but have found some just lifelong friends that I reach out to when I need that friend that understands what I'm going through. And yeah, it's been. It was a great experience and lasting. It becomes your new tribe. Yes, that right, people.

Thank you.

And I think that's another huge thing is that tribe.

Because how many people have naysayers in their life right now? How many people have those people that are, you know, kind of. That are, you know, causing doubt, you know, like, you say you want to do something, they try to help find reasons to keep you down, you know, anything like that? Anybody have any. Does that resonate with anybody? Yeah, there's a couple people. You know, it's like, you know, you can't do that. Or, you know, our friends. I was talking with somebody other day, you know, it's the holidays, and, like, their co workers were actually giving a hard time because they wanted to try to eat right. You start asking the questions, are any of your co workers in great shape? And it's like, no. It's like, it's the comfort, you know, for other people. Like, when people start changing and start improving themselves, you know, it's gonna make people that aren't bettering themselves, it's gonna make. It's gonna trigger them. It's gonna trigger their own, you know, their own ego, their subconscious to keep them safe. It's gonna keep them safe by trying to pull you down because there's safety and comfort in numbers. So that's the other huge thing is, like, you're gonna get this support network. And again, these are friends. These are contacts, friends, connections that you will have for, you know, years to come.

Jen just asked a question that I do want to address because this applies to it, too. She's asking a question about meals. She said, does a cheat meal help stay on track with food intake? And this is what I want to share. Jen and everyone. When you start getting really clear with your vision on what you want to create and you have your driving core motivator and then you want to actually start eating. The way that we teach. What happens is it's not like you need a cheat meal. You are able to really eat whatever you want because you start changing how you're eating, the portions you're eating, and what you're doing 95% of the time. So Brooks and I, many times believe us, we get Reese's peanut butter cups, we attack a See's candy. We do whatever. It doesn't matter. Our bodies don't change. Our. We don't fall off track because it's what we do 95% of the time. And we're so on point with our purpose and what we do the majority of time. And that's what we help you as a breakthrough, it becomes who you are, this new person. So you don't need a cheat meal to help keep you on track.

Yeah, I would agree with that. And I also say too is like, the toughest part is losing. I mean, maintaining is definitely a lot easier. And so that was dangerous. I find it easier once I'm in the groove. Like, if I'm doing a certain type of program, if I have a certain goal, I really won't do much of the cheater treating because I want to stay focused. And especially it's like, I see people, they're trying to lose 80 plus pounds, like, wanting to have a treat or a cheat day, which. Okay. But the problem is a lot of times they overdo this cheat day, treat day, and they end up taking literally, like, two steps forward and sometimes two steps back. So I just stay focused, get down to that goal weight, and then you have a lot more leeway, you know, because then it's your lifestyle. You're doing the other stuff. Because sometimes I just seen that those, you know, I don't call them cheats. I call them treats. That's another distinction I do like. I'll have, like, a small. A small treat. A treat, A treat. You know, whether it's a meal or just something that gives you that satisfaction, that's what I find that, you know, works better.

By the way, at Breakthrough Weekend, we have two chefs come and you eat, like, out of this world, and you don't gain weight unless you learn that you can actually eat amazing, yummy, delicious food. And it's healthy and it's the right food for you.

Let's see how many people in your small groups come for weight loss versus other reasons. Susan, it's really a mix. It's really a mix. We have found, though it does go Hand in hand a bit that people that are unhappy in their lives tend to have some weight to lose. So that is definitely relevant. Brooks and I do a really good job of pairing groups together that have similar goals. So for instance, if we have a bunch of applications of people that don't have weight to lose and they all want to uplevel their business, we would look at that and we're not going to necessarily mix them up with people that have giant amounts of weight to lose. So we're really good about pairing together people that have similar, similar goals.

And I also think a lot of people like the weight loss is the easy thing. Like that's the easy surface, outside thing because it's, you know, what everybody sees. Oh, I need to know if I lose weight, then this will. But I mean, let's just look at again, it's always getting back to it's not necessarily what you're eating, it's what's eating you. I mean, look at, I always go back to like Kate Spade. I mean, she's selling handbags on every corner of the planet. Multi, multi, millions of dollars, fame, all this stuff. And you know, she's not happy, she's not fulfilled. So, you know, the weight loss is definitely part of it, but it's also these things, it just, it's going to bleed through all areas of your life. Like nobody is perfect physically and has, you know, doesn't have something somewhere else. I mean, it's all connected and that's really the be. I think a lot of people do come, you know, primarily for the weight loss. And then what I call is, you know, basically locating and removing those thousand pound invisible anchors. It's the stuff that you can't see that you're carrying around that, that just, I mean, it's just, it's huge. And honestly, I think once a lot of that stuff is clear, it just seems like the weight, the extra weight, just everything else goes away because of the stress. Everything else that's tied to that internal struggle, that internal battle that you're fighting.

And Susan, what I also want to share is that the commonality that anyone that comes to Breakthrough should have is that they want to uplevel their life. So if you're feeling like my life's perfect, I don't need anything, then that's definitely not the right thing for you. It's about how can we help you up, level your life. I'm all about that. I'm all about reaching for big crazy goals and helping you get to the root of what's holding you back from that happening and helping you make massive shifts? So people that work with us, it's not just the weight loss at all. We've helped people create big changes in their income in all types of areas. So it's definitely not just that. Let's see. If we are not selected for Breakthrough, if we cannot make the selected dates, are there other ways in which we might be able to work with you? Yes, Lisa, somebody asked a question about if there's other ways to work with us. There is other ways to work with us, but I'm going to just be really upfront with you. What we charge for coaching is about five times the amount of Breakthrough. So Breakthrough, what's awesome about it is it makes you, you get the access to our best tools plus the tribe at a lot less of a price. So if we take a one on one client, we are about five times that amount. So I want to be real about that. We all, we do have programs, we have all kinds of programs we could share with you. But that is really. Breakthrough is the ideal, the best.

First, just, just apply and if you can't, we'll have a quick phone call and then we can figure out, you know, the next best steps.

Yeah, amazing.

And yes.

Go ahead. Just every, if you're interested, go ahead and apply. That way we know. Because that way when I'm reaching back out to contact people, you know, there's some different payment options, things like that, but just get your application in. That's the most important part. Like there's no commitment at all just by submitting an application. Just, just get it in.

Let me share too. Nobody ever, even millionaires ever will say, I have an extra X amount of money laying around. Like, it just doesn't work. Work like that. Like there's never an extra money laying around for this stuff. It's truly about investing in yourselves and making that decision and declaring and deciding and deciding that you're going to make this happen. And yes, if that is your goal. I have a client last year that was very stressed about spending on Breakthrough and she's tripled her income this year. So she says it was one of the best decisions she ever made. So don't let that be the reason you're going to hold yourself back. When I asked you earlier on the call who that person was a year from now that you'd want to be, would you tell that person, would you tell that woman, no, I'm not going to invest in you right now. I think all of you if you knew that's who you were going to be, you would find a way to make that happen.

Yes. Angie, have you ever traveled doing? I do travel and do motivational speaking. In fact, I'm doing something in Seattle next month. Yeah. Thank you.

Let's see.

Any more questions?

Let me go back to something. Does anybody else have anything you could raise your hand? You could physically raise your hand, wave. I can call on you.

By the way, if you fill out an application and it speaks to us, Brooks is going to call you personally, just so you know. So fill out that application. If it speaks to us and we think you're a good candidate for this, you might get a call from Brooks.

Amazing.

Cool.

Thanks, guys. All right, to apply, you just go to nataliejillfitness.com apply and we'll check those out.

Awesome. I look forward to hopefully seeing some of you in person and connecting with you.

Bye.