How to Finally Find the Motivation You’ve Been Missing

Hi, I'm Nir Eyal and this is the near and Far Podcast. This podcast is about business, behavior and the brain. On this show I do a few things. I read quick articles I've written about topics shaping your behavior. I interview authors of books I enjoy, and from time to time I devote episodes to answering your questions. If you want to ask me a question, visit the podcast page on itunes, go to Ratings and Reviews and ask me a question. By leaving a review, I promise to read it and possibly include your question in a future episode. So please ask me anything now. Enjoy the episode and for more, you can always Visit me@nearandfar.com.

How to finally find the motivation you've been missing this guest post was written by Cheryl McGuire. Narrated by Johnny Heller the laundry hamper was overflowing with dirty clothes. Lacking the motivation to throw it into the wash, I pushed the clothes down deeper into the bin so I can fit more clothes. This occurs almost every other day when you are married and the mother of three kids. The laundry is a never ending task, especially since we are all active in sports or working out that often require multiple clothing changes in one day. Mustering up the motivation to do a dreaded task is a common struggle that most people can relate to experiencing. In the case of doing laundry, I end up finding the motivation to do it when I realize that I would not have any clean clothes to wear. Even though the task of doing laundry is tedious, wearing dirty clothes was less appealing to me. All motivation is a desire to escape discomfort. If a behavior was previously effective at providing relief, we're likely to continue using it as a tool to escape discomfort, says Nir Eyl, author of how to Control youl Attention and choose youe Life. What is motivation? Motivation guides your behaviors and is the energy for action, according to Dr. Edward Deietsche, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. Dr. Damon Korb, a developmental behavioral pediatrician in Los Gatos, California, and author of Raising an Organized Child, describes motivation as wanting something enough to overcome the inertia to get started. When we're highly motivated, we have a strong desire and the requisite energy to take an action, and when we're not motivated, we lack the energy to perform a task, says Alex. Motivation Theories Psychologists have suggested several different theories of motivation, such as self determination theory. Self determination theory proposes that the quality, rather than solely the quantity of motivation influences how people act, says Dr. Su Lun Alan Chu, sports psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. Dr. Chu explains that self determination theory states there are three basic psychological autonomy, competence, and relatedness need to be satisfied for people to be intrinsically motivated. Autonomy is a sense of volition and having choices competence is a sense of effectiveness and mastery and relatedness is a sense of connectedness and belonging. These are essential psychological nutrients, like vitamins and minerals that couldn't be missed for motivated behavior, says Dr. Chew. Al describes the theory called the Fogg Behavior Model, which states that for a behavior B to occur, three things must be present at the same motivation, ability, and a trigger. More succinctly, B mat. In Fogg's formula, ability relates to the facility of action. Quite simply, the harder something is to do, the less likely people are to do it. Conversely, the easier something is to do, the more likely we are to do it, says Alex the neuroscience of motivation Dr. Michael Brucas, professor at the University of Washington Brucas Lab, explains the neuroscience related to motivation. In our recent research about motivation, we found specific pathways in the brain, chemical transmitters that communicate and both increase or decrease motivation depending on the behavioral state of the animal, says Dr. Brookes. This suggests that motivation is controlled by specific brain circuits and pathways, and that motivational deficits in humans, like depression downward or addiction upward for getting the drug, might be treated by blocking or mimicking these pathways. Why do people struggle with motivation? Dr. Andrew Westbrook, a postdoctoral researcher at Brown University, explains that he studies cognitive effort. Studies show that tasks involving cognitive control and working memory are subjectively costly and people seem to engage in a sort of cost benefit decision making when performing such tasks, he said. Dr. Westbrook explains that unlike physically demanding tasks, cognitively demanding tasks don't cause the brain to use more glucose on average than just staring blankly out into space. So then why are we so averse to doing them? Investing in any given task can make you miss out on other opportunities. It makes sense to treat it as costly because it is from the perspective of missed opportunities, he said. Dr. Korb explains that motivation is dependent on the belief that a task is can be accomplished. This belief depends on how one has performed in the past. If, for instance, a child consistently fails at spelling tests or is repeatedly told that they are poor at spelling, then it becomes more difficult to prepare in the future. However, if they succeed or are encouraged for their efforts, success appears to be more within reach, he said. Some people appear unmotivated because they are overwhelmed by the task. Dr. Korb says that people may lack the organizational skills to break a task down into steps, so scaffolding a task for someone can be helpful. Others have problems with mental energy in attention deficit and find it more difficult to exert mental effort towards a task unless they find it interesting, says Dr. Korb. They are reward driven and without sufficient intrinsic brain neurotransmitter dopamine or extrinsic like money or love, they struggle to perform. Dr. Korb explains that people often procrastinate because they need the adrenaline of being up against the deadline to feel motivated enough to get started. Those with attention deficits can benefit from counseling and medication. Eyell discusses the idea that motivation is about trying to avoid pain for hundreds of years. We believe that motivation is driven by reward and punishment. The reality, however, is that motivation has much less to do with pleasure but with the absence of pain, he said. Ways to Find Motivation for Doing Boring Tasks As a mom of three kids, there are many quotidian tasks like laundry, helping with schoolwork and waking up at 5:45am Most people can relate to lacking motivation for doing these boring tasks that need to be done. So I ask the experts about these tasks and how I can find the motivation to do it. Household Tasks Trouble with motivation because Dr. Chu explains why some people lack the motivation to do household chores. He says that according to self determination theory, autonomy is a sense of volition and having choices. Autonomy and relatedness are often missed in household tasks. People say to themselves, I have to clean or do laundry and this thinking reduces our sense of autonomy, he said. How to overcome it? Dr. Chew says that we can overcome this lack of motivation for household tasks by enhancing autonomy. Say to yourself, I can or I get to clean, which changes your thinking of household tasks as opportunities and choices that that we shouldn't take for granted. Dr. Chew also suggests doing household chores with our loved ones or talking to friends and family while doing those tasks. To make it more interesting and relatable, Dr. Korb recommends creating false incentives like for example, saying to yourself, if I get the laundry done by noon, I can treat myself to a show on Netflix. Schoolwork or any work for that matter. Trouble with Motivation Because Maria Sanders, a clinical social worker and certified parent coach, explains why some kids have trouble with being motivated to do schoolwork. She says that there are several different issues that can get in the way of kids getting schoolwork done. From the outside, it might just look like kids are lazy or unmotivated and that they don't want to. But the truth is that motivation comes from feeling competent, giving the child some autonomy, and also building a connection by making sure the child feels seen and heard, she said. Sanders explains that often when parents see that a child does not appear to be motivated, they tend to place blame and judge instead. She recommends that parents should be curious about what is going on and try to work collaboratively by problem solving. Dr. Chew agrees with Sanders about competence and autonomy in relations to self determination theory and says kids have trouble with school because at least one of the three basic psychological needs is missed. Autonomy I need to have to, incompetence I'm bad at are too common ones. Schoolwork doesn't matter to kids. Forcing them to do something they didn't want to do amounts to coercion. It would only breed resentment, says Ale. How to Overcome It Sanders recommends that first parents find a time when they and their child are feeling calm. When the parent begins the conversation, it's best to start with focusing on the problem to solve and not specifically on the behavior, making sure to avoid comments of blame or judgment, she says. When problem solving with your child, Sanders says that the solutions should be driven by the child. With regards to competency, we want to make sure that the child does understand and know how to do what is being asked of them, says Sanders. Giving the child some autonomy in decision making will help with building internal motivation. Ale also stresses the importance of having a conversation with your kids and listen to them without judgment. Potential questions to ask include the Is keeping up with their school or consistent with their values? Do they know why they are asked to do their homework? What are the consequences of not doing their assignments? Are they okay with those consequences both short term getting a bad grade and long term settling for a low skilled job, he said. Dr. Chu recommends saying to yourself, I can or I get to learn to see attending school as opportunities and choices that that we shouldn't take for granted. We can focus on our strengths as well as embrace a growth mindset and tell ourselves I'm not good at math, my job, yet I can keep learning and grow to recognize that we have strengths and then we can learn and grow to feel more competent, says Dr. Chu. Dr. Korb suggests that kids try to picture what success will look like. Incentivize yourself to achieve that success, he said. Going to Bed or Getting out of bed Trouble with motivation because Dr. Chu says the main issue with lack of motivation to get out of bed or go to bed is due to a lack of any goals or purpose. How to overcome it According to Self Determination Theory, competence is a sense of effectiveness and mastery and relatedness is a sense of connectedness and belonging. To overcome trouble with the motivation to get in or out of bed, Dr. Chu recommends enhancing competence and relatedness by setting goals for things that we are good at or can do with other people and reminding ourselves about long term goals and purpose every day. Exercise Trouble with motivation because Dr. Chew explains that the reason people have trouble with motivation regarding exercise, eating healthy and saving money are usually similar. We feel pressured, do not have social reasons and or do not have the skills to exercise, eat healthily or save money, he said. How to overcome it Dr. Korb recommends overcoming the lack of motivation to exercise by not making it a daily decision. Most people do not feel like exercising at any given moment. Instead, make it part of the daily schedule. If exercising seems difficult, join a beginner's yoga, walking or swimming class to make exercise feel more manageable, he said. Dr. Chew suggests finding exercise options that are fun and find workout buddies such as our friends and family to keep us accountable and do exercise that is at an optimal level of challenge. Things that are too difficult or easy make us quit eating healthy. How to overcome it Dr. Korb says if motivation to eat a healthy diet is low, then don't purchase unhealthy foods when shopping. Some people do not know how to cook healthy foods and are overwhelmed by the concept, so it can help to take a class or watch a free video tutorial to learn how easy it can be to eat a healthy and easy to prepare diet. Make a conscious choice to think about the why, such as being a good role model for kids. Consider eating healthy as a lifestyle rather than a diet. Eat out with friends who like to eat healthy to keep us accountable and find different healthy recipes that are fun to cook and tasty enough to eat, says Dr. Chew. Saving money how to Overcome It People have trouble saving money not due to a lack of motivation, but because they are more motivated by the next purchase. Make Saving Motivating Visualize a vacation, a car, or a child going to college in order to make the idea of saving more rewarding, says Dr. Korb. Dr. Chew recommends focusing on the why of saving money as a lifestyle rather than something we have to do. How to Motivate Others if we want to motivate people in the long run, we can't do that using external rewards or punishments. We should instead create an environment that satisfies autonomy, competence and relatedness to foster people's internal drive to act, says Dr. Chu. By understanding the real reason we are driven to do what we do, we can get the best out of ourselves and others.

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