Episode 19 Meeta Mathur

Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of We Rise Wellness podcast. Meet Meeta Mathur. She is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, mentor, trainer, and a very good coach. She holds prestigious positions at various NGOs. Currently, she is the state president at Women's India Chamber of Commerce and Industries. She is the chairperson at All Women's Association of Rising Entrepreneurs and many more such prestigious organizations. She started her export company Tanya Craft 17 years ago after successful stints in MNCs. She is the founder of Big Ladder that designs develops and delivers customized modules in career communication and leadership coaching. Since December 2020, Meeta has trained more than 2,500 people in sphere of communication and leadership. Meeta is a certified NLP practitioner with an experience of 27+ years. She propels her clients' careers through with rebranding, training, and coaching strategies that help them stand out from the competition on paper, online, and in person. Welcome, Meetu. It's such a pleasure to have you today at Veeraj's podcast. Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you. Thank you, Neetu. Thank you so much. With deep gratitude, you know, I am on this platform and I just was looking forward to this. And thank you so much for having me here.

Such varied experience, Meeta, and such rich experience, I would say, you have. I mean, you are an inspiration to all women who would be listening to this podcast. And I believe you have kids also, right? And you have raised them so well. So I would like to see, you know, I mean, from being an entrepreneur, basically first you were working at MNCs, right? And then you became an entrepreneur 17 years back. And then now you are into training and coaching. How has the journey been like for you?

Neetu, first of all, I must, must say that this is gratitude to the universe. I got the best of opportunities at the right time, at the right place. I was just there, you know, at that right time. So having armed myself with an MBA in marketing and advertising, I landed in Mumbai and got a reasonably good job and went into exports. It was an export company. And then we slowly, gradually started to, you know, grow there. And finally I thought, yes, why don't I start my own export company? And yes, and having a Rajasthan background, and I had a lot of sources here, so started working on that. And very slowly, believe me, being an entrepreneur was not as easy as we had expected. It is never easy. It's never easy. And 17 years ago, believe me, it wasn't. And with hardly any capital and everything. But yes, after 17 years, you feel that kind of a satisfaction. Yes, we took the plunge. But at that point of time, yes, we did feel that maybe we were doing the crazy thing. But end of the day, yeah, you enjoy the crazy things.

Yeah. And some of them, you know, at least I am, you know, the black sheep. So I believe you must have been branded like that as well at that time because doing something different is not everybody's cup of tea.

Entrepreneurship is difficult, and it must have been really difficult for you, especially when you chuck your high-paying corporate jobs, you know, and then plunge into something where the returns are never guaranteed, right?

Been there.

Yes. So, uh, in that pursuit of, you know, doing your own thing and finding your own kind of happiness, fortunately I had very good support system at home, and we did it. And then, and then in 2020, during the pandemic, we set up another company, the coaching company Big Ladder, and that was definitely not my idea at all. I had been coaching for 11 years prior to that. I'd been coaching since 2011, mid of 2011. And I've been coaching for a long time, but I never thought of setting up a company, you know, a coaching company. And that was how my daughter, you know, pushed me, "Why don't you do it in a proper way? And why are you doing just like that?" So this came up, the big idea.

I think it's the universe's way of, you know, making you do the right thing.

As I said, yes, gratitude to the universe that I was in the right time, right place.

Right, right. So why do you think, you know, that gratitude is the single most important thing in your life? I mean, how does it make a difference in your life?

That's a very good question, Neetu. Uh, we keep talking on mental health, and as a life coach, I am, uh, I receive so many people and I talk to them, and there's always that, what do you want from your life? And the answer is always, always, without an exception, I want a happy life. We all want a happy life, you know, a cushy job, a perfect family, or let's say financial stability, a great social life, picture-perfect holidays, zero figure. So everybody has a definition, but they do want a happy life. Yes. And but what The question arises here is, uh, what is real happiness? When we do get that promotion, or when we do get that big car or a big bungalow, our sight is now on the next bigger and better, or a shiny object, and there is never an end.

Yeah, and happiness eludes us.

Yes, and we are never truly happy and always aspiring for the next bigger thing. So in this indefinite pursuit of happiness, that, as you said, is a mirage. How often do we spare a minute and see what we already have in this moment? And this began very early for me, Neetu. I was barely 19, I think, and I was in my graduation at that time in my college in Dehradun. And there was this very— there was this institute for the visually challenged people right close by to my college. And I was volunteering there for 2 months. And at that day, the administration said that we don't— there are a lot of trained staff, you know, we as volunteers, we don't get to do all of that stuff. But yes, as we just help the trained staff over there. So as a volunteer, and they were— it was, I don't know what kind of a day, they didn't have those people there. So she asked me, why don't you just go and tell a story to these people? I said, okay. And the kids were ranging from, say, 5 to 8 or 10. Small kids. I said, how difficult that can be? Telling a story is not a difficult thing. So, and there, Adunthi, such a pretty place. I said, let me take them outside into the garden and we'll sit there in the lawn and tell a story. Nitu, you know, when I'm talking to you, we have eye contact. So when you talk to people who are visually challenged, they have their ear to your eyes, you know, and they look like that and they're looking somewhere else and seemingly it feels, you know, they're looking in the wrong direction. And so we made a line and very slowly progressed to the lawn, sat down there, and then I started my story. And it was a beautiful morning and the sun was out and there were hundreds of flowers. There were red, green, yellow, blue, purple. And 2 lines into my story and there was this boy who was apparently 5 or 6 or I don't know. And he said, "Vivi, wait." He laughed. He laughed. How do you explain color to a person whose only color is black? How do you explain that? And I had no explanation, no explanation. An educated girl and cannot explain what is red, pink, and blue to this boy, to this little boy who is just 5 years old. And that struck me, that really struck me, that we have such a beautiful gift of sight. We can see, we can see the beautiful world, we can read, we can write, we can admire, appreciate what the nature has given us. And here I am, all of 19 years, and I don't even know what are the gifts that God has already given me. It was just that chance meeting with that little boy. After so many years, I still remember that face so vividly and that question. And that is when the journey of gratitude began.

Yeah, yeah.

It was so powerful, Neetu, it was so powerful.

I can feel it. I have goosebumps.

I had then as well. This is so powerful. After so many years, I still remember it. And, and these are the small things that I now make it a purpose to notice, appreciate, and vocalize.

I'm so glad you're doing it, Nita. I remember my days of depression when I was diagnosed with that, and I talk about it very openly because I believe that, you know, that stigma around mental health and depression should really go. And that is the reason I speak so openly about it. So there were days that I would feel that maybe this is my last day and maybe I will not get up tomorrow. So now I have understood that every day for me is something that is a gift. And I have immense gratitude for every single day that I get in my life now because I've been there.

True, true.

But that is the power of gratitude.

Yes. And gratitude, you know, we are all capable of it. We are all capable of it. But sometimes we need a little reminder, a little push, a little convincing to practice it. And there are many reasons to practice gratitude— psychological, physical, social. So, but we are only recently discovering one of the big ones, you know, how it affects your brain. And at that point of time, I didn't realize that there were so many benefits, there were so many scientific reasons to be grateful. And I had not studied psychology, I was not a life coach then, I had never heard of NLP. But now I can totally relate it, you know, how that one incident had such an important effect on my entire life, the way I think, the way, um, I meet people and I have a relationship, or wherever I am, I am standing in gratitude for whatever that comes to me.

That was an anchoring event for you, and it has completely given you— that God has actually conspired for you.

I think it's all in the universe, and I'm just so grateful that it happened at that age, because, you know, that is when you are just— that those are the building blocks of all your experiences later on. So that, of course, and now all my studies are in this, that your thought, NLP, of course, Neuro Linguistic Programming. So how you program your brain through your thoughts and what kind of thoughts, what are your inputs. So all of these studies came from there. And this is how my journey has been, you know, full of gratitude for every little thing that I got. And I'm very, very fortunate touched your word, for having, uh, and being— see, uh, you can be grateful for material things, you can be grateful for a big car.

I'm grateful for having COVID, right? So because that has given me such experiences that all my deep-rooted triggers were surfaced for me, and I could actually go back and resolve those triggers for myself. So I think I'm grateful that such a dreadful thing happened, you know, because it was good for me. Ultimately, so I have credit for that as well.

The way you look at things, you know, the way you— so everything, like the proverbial coin, you know, it has the both sides. It has the good and the bad. So if you're continually looking at one side, you are definitely missing the other side all the time. So that is what maturity probably is. That is what your thought structures need to evolve, you know. No, I found that grateful people, you know, they are happy people. I always say that, that not all happy people are grateful, but grateful— all grateful people are happy.

Absolutely, absolutely. You're so bang on there. So bang on. So yeah, I'm sorry, please go ahead.

It has improved, you know, my overall well-being, my life satisfaction. And I also feel that I have a stronger immune system, um, developing from there, uh, because all my other systems, my blood pressure and everything, they are monitored or they are maintained in a way, uh, you know, nothing— the good things or the bad things don't trigger me the way they used to at one point of time. So I sleep better. I wake up better, I feel more generous, I feel more alert, I feel more, uh, what do I say, compassionate towards my fellow people, and of course a whole lot more happier.

Yeah, so if you're grateful, you do not have stress. That is the, you know, being grateful is the, I think, baseline of not having stress. And if you do not have stress, it transpires in your body in wellness, you know. So if you're saying that your immunity is better, it's more because you do not have those bad hormones in your blood, which is killing your white blood cells. So if you have good white blood cells in your body, it means you have better immune system. So that is the scientific relation between stress and, you know, your ailments.

So this is what happened, you know, what really does happen in the brain is that all the happy hormone cocktails, they are generated because of your thoughts. And those hormones, whether it is your dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, whatever we are talking of— I mean, uh, my audience does not need to get confused in all these scientific terms, but when you are happy, you have an absolute dose of happy hormones. And those happy hormones translate in your physiological self. Yes, your smile, your skin, everything.

And all the biomarkers improve.

Yes, and naturally with your physiology, your behavior changes, and when your behavior changes, your outcomes, your results naturally have to change. So in this entire equation, if you were to change your results or your outcomes, what you need to change perhaps is only your thoughts, and grateful thoughts, and nice thoughts, positive, positive thoughts. So I always tell this, it's not that bad things don't happen to to us. It is not that we don't find toxic people around us. It's not that life happens, you know, mess will happen. But how you are looking at it will greatly define who you are at the end of the day, how you respond to the situation. And Zindagi hai utar chalapke bhog aahi. So whenever you are at the bottom, you tend to react in a different way. So if you are interested in your well-being, in your resilience, if you're looking at your relationships, if you're looking at your stress levels or high blood pressure, just look at your thoughts. Focus on your thoughts. Find out what you are grateful for today. Find out how you are benefiting from all of that nature has given you. Or see, every individual— Ramon ke bhi ek good side tha. So every person has a good side. It's just that we are losing sight of it. We have not seen it yet, but all of those negative— anything that serves up these negative feelings will definitely— let's not lose sight of the good ones, right? That is my only thing. Yeah, yeah.

I think NLP teaches this thing about perspectives. This is what perspective is. So when you mentioned about toxic people, that there will be, you know, all kinds of toxic people around you, but how I look at it now is that there's a reason behind the toxicity, so toxicity of that person. That person is also working from his limiting beliefs and, you know, his deeply embedded traumas, and that is why that person is the way that person is right now. And if he's behaving in that way, I have to be mindful. That, you know, he's not aware.

He's not.

I am aware, right? I should be, you know, empathetic to that person because he's going through a hard time, or she's going through a hard time. That's perspective.

And NLP talks about that. Yeah, what's the root of it all? And we cannot counsel people all the time, and we, uh, unless, you know, they come to us and they ask for it. But yes, we have to be kind to our mind and not take it personally. So I remember this, if you allow me, I remember this one client of mine, and she, along with her parents, met with a very horrible accident where she lost the use of both her legs. And this was so traumatic, this was so horrible. And even her parents had, you know, cuts and a broken jaw and broken ribs and all. And she was crying and all, and she was, why did this happen? Why did it happen to me? Why did I lose my legs? How will I live further? And all of those things. And I just said one thing, that I am grateful that both your parents and you survived it.

Yes.

You lived through it. So I am just very grateful that I can see all three of you. And even though all these scars will remain with you on your face, on the glass that had got into their forehead and all, and maybe the broken ribs will hurt you, but you are there all together. What if you lost one of your parents? What if you lost both your parents? What would have happened? And after a very long time, maybe 6-8 months down the line, She told me, Auntie, those lines that you told me, what if I had lost my parents? Yeah, I'm just so grateful. Now I look at the entire accident. Yes, it happened. The mess did happen. It was very unfortunate, and our lives would have been very different had it not happened. But the good thing is that we all survived. Yes, she said, I'm so grateful. And I said, yes, that's the only way now to look further. We can't go back. Change things. But we just need to go further, and with gratitude, we'll go further and faster and happier. So gratitude, I believe, Neetu, can transform your days into festivals.

Yes, celebration.

As celebrations, as routine jobs into joy, and ordinary opportunities into blessings.

Yeah. Yeah, and I think having a traumatic experience sometimes— I mean, I don't know whether I should say it— it's good for people because people find purpose from there. If you have been through, you know, if you've lived through a traumatic experience and you have come out of it, I think that gives you a purpose. That, okay, if I could live through that time, maybe, you know, this is my purpose. God has saved me for a purpose, and now I need to serve that purpose. I think that is one thing. And your client who actually came out of that accident, she still has a purpose to serve, otherwise God would not have saved her that day.

Right, right. So there is always a purpose. And now that she survived through it, she knows what it means. You know, now she counts every day as a blessing.

Yes.

Every small accomplishments, everything that she has done so far, she feels that, yes, the energy is coming from there. So gratitude is abundance, it is love, it is a ritual.

Yeah, yeah, and it's, it's very, it's a very good feeling that God has given me so much and I'm just being grateful for that. Yes, I mean, once we start doing that, everything changes. For me at least, it has been very, very transformational.

True, true. Like that, the thing that happened when I was 19 and that small sentence, I— that transformed it. Yeah, truly, truly changed. And whenever, you know, people will ask me that you have such a business at your hand and you have a family to look after, how do you find time to be a life coach? And as you said, if you've been through it, if you've been through the journey It gives you a purpose to assist and help and support people who are having a little difficulty. With my limited knowledge, with my limited resources that I have, what more can I do for other people? You know, that, that kind of a feeling is there. Uh, it is— you have the little things, you have the big things, and it is just that we are not able to see them. So I just help them see those little things that they have, enjoy those little things. For one day you will look back and remember those were the big things.

Yes, yes, yes.

So every time I have an opportunity to go for a, say, a long drive or a small break or whatever it is, and I just say, okay, let's do it, because we are creating memories, we are creating things that we will remember later on. And be happy about it. So any opportunity that I get, you know, to celebrate— so to celebrate life.

Celebrate life. Yes, I mean, we have surpassed so many genes and so many species to be here and have this life. Why not celebrate it?

Yes, look at the last 2 years. Those 2 years were traumatic for everyone on the planet. And isn't it? Big celebration that we survived through it.

Yes.

So just be grateful about it, you know, and look at people around you. They might not have come through the entire ordeal of those 2 years without losing a loved one or any kind of other trauma. So that can— it has truly, I mean, it has built connections with people. I have met and learned from so many people, it makes you so open-hearted, and you deliberately go and recognize the generosity of the people around you.

Yeah, yeah.

And so it is, it is totally life transforming.

I can, I can totally vouch for that. Thank you so much, Meeta, for this. I would really like you to share one piece of advice from— with our audience, and one takeaway, like your biggest advice as a takeaway that they should take away from this episode, that this is what Meeta stands for and this is what she has told us, and if we do this, you know, we can be like her, maybe.

You're not like me, but yes, you'll have a better life. So just one line: transform your communication. And it will transform your life. And communication is between two people, between five, between 500, and— but most importantly, the communication that is going inside your supercomputer, into your brain. If you change that thought, if you change that language, if you change that communication you are talking to yourself, find out if it is negative, find out if it is serving any purpose, find out if it is helping you in me make. If it's not, you need to change it. You need to challenge and see. Listen, this is okay, you've had your time talking all that nonsense in my head. Now I am the driver of this car and I will not allow any negative talk around me. I am enough, I can do it. And I— that kind of communication, you know, that's positive. You cannot have a positive light with all that negative communication happening.

Yeah, yeah, it's all about empowering beliefs, uh, you know, getting replaced with limiting beliefs. So if you have a limiting belief, you just have to replace it with a very, very empowering and positive one. This is what the core of all therapy that I have learned is, and this is something I have been practicing for last 2 years, and it has completely, completely transformed me as a person. I am a completely different person what I was 2 years back. I think that because of this realization of what I'm communicating with myself, and not just myself, people around me.

You might have realized that it is not about the external world and the external happenings. It is everything.

It comes from inside. It comes from inside.

Yes, yes. Thank you. More power to you, Niku. No, more power to you. And I hope to see you soon and share so many stories and so many life-transforming things that have happened around me in the last 2 years. Of my life coaching and being a communication coach, being a corporate coach, things have happened only because of that one thing, and that is that communication that you do in your head.

Yes.

That is very important.

And this is very, very transforming, important. And people, please listen to what Meeta is saying. This is really super important. Have the right communication with yourself first, and of course, people around you. With that, we'll close this episode. You can follow Meeta on her social handles. And thank you so much, Meeta, again for coming here. Anybody who needs your help, I'm sure they will be able to, you know, reach out to you through this, uh, social media handle that I'll put in the link below.

It would be such a pleasure, you know, and I— that is the purpose of my life, to empower people with, uh, with good language that benefits them. So Big Ladder is there to help you reach higher. And with deep gratitude, Neetu. And I'm so grateful for, for, to even LinkedIn, you know, that helped us meet and do this.

And it's all there, you know, universe is conspiring for us to meet and do this, create new things. And I'm sure there are bigger things God has planned for us.

Absolutely. Absolutely. All there. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Lovely talking to you. Yeah.

Lovely talking to you. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.