Episode 41 - Nirupama Vyas

Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of Veerai's Wellness Podcast. Today we have Nirupama Vyas with us. Nirupama is an employee turned entrepreneur. She is a TEDx speaker. She is counselor, healer, and mentor to so many women entrepreneurs across India. Thank you, Nirupama, for, you know, agreeing to come today for this podcast and talking to us. I'm sure we will have a lot of insights from you and we are just looking forward to it. Welcome, Nirupama. Thank you so much for having with us.

Oh my God, your energy is so infectious. I'm just thinking, you know, where is this bundle of energy coming from? The pleasure is all mine, Neetu. I am so humbled and so happy to be a part of this platform of yours wherein, you know, I could do my bit and share a little bit about myself. Thank you for having me here.

Yes, Nirupama, so the whole idea of why we started Veerise was to make people be vulnerable and talk about, uh, what is it that bothers them. Talk about mental health conditions. Why not? Why there is this stigma around it? Talk about your wellness. We do not care about our wellness, and that's what we want to do with this talk, that come out, speak about it, that okay, this is what I want, this is what I feel, and I want to change this, or something I don't want to change. So let's talk about it. Why not? So that's the whole idea of this podcast, and I hope it makes some difference in life of people who really needed to hear some of our conversation today, and it might make a change in their life. So let's do it, let's do it. Yes, so starting with your journey, Nirupama, of being an employee to jumping into entrepreneurship, what was the shift? Why would you do that?

That's a great, great question, Neetu. And, uh, you know what happens a lot of times You start your journey doing one particular thing, thinking that this is what is right for me, but you actually understand things once you have entered on the other side. So as I started in my 20s, you know, an active civil services aspirant, you know, I was giving so many government exams. I landed up being a government servant working with the security wing of Government of India. You know, and it was an amazing job that people would say, oh my God, you are doing so well, you know, you, you have so many accolades to yourself. But when I saw that from within, there was something missing. I somehow felt that this is the place where I do not belong because it was not, you know, aligning with my values. It was not giving me that pleasure. You know, you reach at the top of the ladder and you find that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall, and you're like, did this ladder actually belong to me? So that's where I was. And there was not one thing, Neetu, that why did I get into entrepreneurship, but there was series of things that led me to that. So basically, when I was doing that soul-searching part, you know, what do I do, where do I belong, is this thing for me, I entered the personal development industry, and I was blessed to have mentors both from India and abroad who basically showed me who I am as a person.

Yeah.

And the more I was able to understand myself the more I was able to get it that where do I fit in and where I do not. Because a lot of times, as you were talking about wellness, our body keeps on giving us those signals that am I comfortable in this place? Is this really nurturing my soul or is it something that is draining my energy? And because we've been told most of the times that you got to be those intelligent beings you know, have more information, have more learning, that we shut this voice off, that inner voice, that intuitiveness that is telling us that this is not so okay for you. So probably I started listening to that inner voice. With the support of the mentors, I developed some skills, and these were business skills. So that really helped me understand essentially that there is a whole world of entrepreneurs who— frankly telling you, initially when I started, it start— I had started for the wrong reasons. Because if you've always specified on your why, you know, why we are doing what we are doing. Initial reasons were, I want to be my own boss. I want to really— I don't want to work under somebody. I want to have my life my own way. But when I eventually realized, and I was on this side experimenting with my business, I found that that was not an enough reason to be an entrepreneur. Because if that reason is only sticking up to you, absolutely, then you are not creating an impact on the other side. And the moment I left myself and I felt that, yes, Nirupama is doing whatever she needs to do, but ultimately whatever she is doing needs to be providing value, needs to be making the other person's life better, needs to be solving a problem. Because after all, as entrepreneurs, we are problem solvers. We are not doing anything else but we are solving whatever problems are coming our way. That's where Things started shifting and I went to the other side of entrepreneurship.

I totally get it, Nirupama, and I can listen to you all day talking about this because it has been a similar journey that I have been through. Initially, it was all about me. I want to do my own thing. I want to be my own boss. I want to be free mentally, that I am not answerable to someone. So it was all about I, I, I. But when the shift happened of why would people care about me, you know, being free, not having a boss, you know, so that's when the shift happened because then I started looking at what can I do for someone else, what do people want from me, how can I add value. So the thing that you said about adding value, that completely resonates and having a very clear why of You know why we are doing what we are doing. If we are clear on that, we, we can keep doing whatever we want. But as long as that strong why is there, everything aligns.

True. I am remembered of one of the quotes of, uh, one of my mentors, Jim Rohn. He used to say, bigger the why, easier is the how.

Yes. Yes.

And most of us, we start with that how. How we have to do it, what all I'll have to put into my business, konsa employees hire karna hai, kaise systems build karna hai, kis client ko reach out karna hai. And we don't actually look at that why part. Kyun karey hum a business? I was better off in a job and kaafi aasanta na, maha pe paise ka mana, compared to here actually reaching out to everyone out there and feeling that, you know, I mean, you never know on the other side whether you would actually close that deal or not, but at the end of the day, it's very gratifying what you're doing.

Yes, and it actually, you know, it's like being naturally motivated to do more of what you are doing if you have your why clear. If you do not have the why clear, entrepreneurship is literally so, so difficult that you would give up after a while of trying unless you have that guiding anchor of why I am doing what I am doing. Yes, that's what keeps motivating you to be an entrepreneur and keep doing that hustle day in, day out. It's a lonely journey.

It is, it is. And you know, I want to tell you, um, this is actually reminding me of my initial days. So after I left my job and got full-time into entrepreneurship, I used to remember, oh, this is the time for me to go to the office. All my colleagues would be going on. I know you could understand it because you've been in the same journey. This has been my lunch break. And initially, if your why is not clear, you always have that fear of missing out in your life, and you're feeling that today the money is not coming. But the moment you have your why clear, it actually acts as a lubricant. So when I say lubricant, the moment you lubricate your vehicle or your automobile, it smoothens the path for you. So that is what the why is doing for you. And it's almost like that easy journey that makes it happen.

Yes. So Nirupama, one thing, because I picked up from what you were saying that most of us jump into entrepreneurship thinking of loads of money, right? So, but that's something that does not come in few initial days, and that's when we get really irritated about doing the same thing again and again and not getting results. But you know what I have realized and learned about money is that money is just an enabler. Yes, it is just an enabler. And the more we block ourselves thinking about money the more disabled we get.

Yes.

Right. So what I've realized, at the moment we let go of this idea of doing things for the sake of money, yes, but doing things for the sake of our why, the purpose, money is something that automatically flows. So it's like a, you know, it's a byproduct. It's a byproduct. It's a byproduct of what we are doing by creating value to people. Who really need what we are giving. So the focus, if we shift from money to delivering value, money will automatically come. This is something, this is a very small shift in perspective, but the moment I did that, I mean, you know, Universe has been sending abundance to me. So this is what I want everybody to know, that money is an energy. Let it flow through you.

Do not block it by creating negative, uh, you know, beliefs around those barriers, you know, that do not allow you to attract that kind of abundance, as you rightly pointed out.

So an example I will say, so say for example, I'm getting two clients, right? So one of them, uh, two mentees I have to mentor, say for example, and one is not able to pay and one is able to pay, uh, and if my focus is just on the one who is able to pay and not on the one who's not able to pay, it means that I do not have a clear why. I'm here, you know, doing things for the sake of money and not for actually adding value to people. So I have mentored people who could not pay, and they have paid me more than the ones who can easily pay.

Can easily pay, right?

Because this person maybe needed it more than this person, but— and Things automatically align when you just remove that barrier of how do I get money out of that person. Then you start delivering the value that I need to change this person, I need to help this person, and if you can do that, money will flow to you. So this is something that I really wanted because I'm writing my second book on money. Yeah, so I'm really reflecting a lot of things on money. I'm reading a lot about it. I'm understanding the spiritual guidance around money. And this is something I thought maybe I can talk about in this podcast also.

Absolutely.

Because you brought up the topic, I thought, why not talk about it here?

And it also eases the pressure, you know, uh, the moment you are— because I am dealing with a segment of working women, you know, who were earning pretty well in their jobs at one point of time, and the moment they let go of that heavy, uh you know, pay package that they had at once upon a time. So a lot of times, you know, what people have is a desperation, and they have that desperation to get money anyway. And when I say any which way, they are actually, you know, not understanding that what it is that I need to become in order to get that money. We are so much focusing on what I need to do, what it is that I need to incorporate in my business. But like the way you said that money is energy, money flows to you if you become a money magnet, attracting that money to you. You will find it. And so many of you who are listening to us would have found one of the days you are just taking a stroll, you will find a ₹500 note on the road, and that is easy money coming to you. But we get those barriers. Does this belong to me? Should I be taking that note? I haven't done much to earn that. These are not the barriers that money has. These are our own barriers which may have come to us through our conditioning, which may have come to us through our past experiences, which may have come to us because of all those faulty files that we have within us with regard to money. But money doesn't say that this is how you need to earn money. Money is just there to come to you if you are open to receive it. And it's like a friend, you know, if you ask your friend to come home and you are welcoming that person, the friend will come to you. And if you say, uh, I don't know, I need to do so many things, and you're bringing a lot of judgments out there, the friend would be like, oh my God, this person is so much into obligation, maybe let me go to another person who's a little lighter. And who's there to welcome me and receive me with open arms, right?

I think I also had a lot of money blocks. You know, if I will go to a place, a restaurant with someone, it always has to be me who would be paying, you know. I mean, there's always this mind that, oh no, I will pay, and why wouldn't— so recently I've started realizing that this is also a mental barrier, right? That I have some discomfort around money, and that is why, you know, I just need to keep paying myself even if the other person is offering. So I just remove those blocks from my mind that if somebody is paying, maybe it is some kind of energy that needs to flow through that person to me.

Yes, it is an exchange that is happening. And what you are saying is the receiving blocks. Most of the times I am seeing so-called independent people, the people who are fiercely independent and who say that, yes, I can do this on my own. But a lot of times you don't have to do that effort. Money says you don't do anything and still I'll come to you. And a lot of people would be like, but how can I take that money? I don't deserve that money. That is because you feel that you don't deserve that, right?

Right.

But money says that I want to come to you and you just receive me. And we bring in those receiving blocks from so many different places. Our parents said when we were given, you know, a sagan in any of the functions, and that's where the faulty, you know, bad files of money started coming into us.

Yeah, because we need to look good in front of people, because we have money blockages that, you know, money, if I'm taking, I'm greedy, or, you know, maybe I do not have enough and that is why I'm just grabbing onto it. So these are faulty files that we have.

And maybe we would want to reciprocate that, you know, uh, You know, we believe in, you know, not receiving that opportunity that has come to us with grace. Koi aapko compliment deta hai, 'Nitu, you're looking so beautiful.' Rather than taking it and receiving it, you'll be like, 'Oh, you're also looking very beautiful.' Man, we are not even taking that and absorbing that within us.

And these things ultimately start affecting our well-being because subconsciously our internal machinery is saying that there is something wrong with me. And that's when we start getting into this turmoil of, there is something wrong with me, I am not good enough, then how this person is telling me this? And then they start doubting, and then they start behaving in a manner that maybe the person was not genuine. And that's where the whole downward spiral starts. So ultimately, the idea is to first Go within, fix those faulty files, and then start working fresh. So this is what has worked for me. I would love to hear from you, Nirupama, uh, how are you able to guide, you know, other women entrepreneurs who have seen that kind of transformation in their journey?

Uh, that's a very wide question that you're asking me, that, you know, how am I able to guide them, uh, because So any one story that you would like to pick and tell us about so that we can draw a parallel? So like the way you said, everything starts with that faulty file and working on our own self. So with every beautiful client of mine who has come to me, the first step is introspection itself. Looking at who you are and aligning yourself with who you are. Because most of the times we want to become somebody else, and that value system may not be aligning with you. If you are okay to work for 2 hours or 3 hours a day, but people around you tell you that only if you work for 8 hours a day or 10 hours a day or 15 hours a day that's when you're worth it. You are taking on that value system onto yourself. You need to understand, is your family life equally important as your career? And maybe you want to create a work which really resonates with you spending time with your parents, with your children, with your loved ones around you. Maybe taking a holiday with your spouse unapologetically, and alongside, maybe you are taking some business calls and you're okay with that. So the first step is aligning with who you are as a person and creating a business around that, because business is nothing but a reflection of the CEO's mindset. And if the CEO's mindset is faulty, is having those so-called limiting beliefs, that's the same energy that you would be giving around in your work. That's the same energy you'd be giving to your stakeholders, your vendors, suppliers, your customers.

Totally.

So the second thing that I am working with people is how are they working in terms of their mindset? Because it's 80% mindset and 20% the skill set.

Absolutely, absolutely. I totally agree to that. And I have seen people fail at business because they did not have the right mindset. And, uh, and I have seen entrepreneurs, uh, you know, who have actually made it big, and they did not even know that they have the mindset. But I could actually see that growth mindset in them, and they have not been trained for it.

They're not aware.

They're very clear why they're doing what they are doing. And that's, I think, the mindset building. Because, because if you have a clear why, then you can figure out everything else, you know.

Absolutely.

Figure out yourself. Everything, it's figureoutable as long as you have that clear why and you know yourself, you know, deep within that why you are doing what you are doing. Because this is who I am and this is what I need to do.

You know, I want to tell you that your customers are a mirror image of who you are as a person.

Yes.

And who customers kaise ainge apke paas? Jab apne utna apne upar kaam kya hai. Whenever I'm working with any of my clients, I actually look back at myself, which I was 5 years, 10 years ago, and I'm amazed to see, oh my God, how am I attracting these kind of clients in my life? Yeah, and as you mentioned, whether it is a why, whether it is working on who you are as a person, what is the thought process that you're putting in your business each and every day? What are the feelings with which you're working? And yes, business has feelings. People say, oh, it has to come up with in a very masculine sense, but of late I have realized that Working with the feminine energy also, you can create a beautiful, beautiful business. Because I have been masculine all throughout my life, looking at those deadlines, looking at what needs to be done when, and ultimately, uh, doing those checklist thing. And it was very tiring. I used to burn out. And ever since I started operating from this feminine energy wherein I'm just enjoying what I'm doing, I'm just flowing, I'm receiving that gift that is coming from a friend who is taking me to a restaurant with a beautiful lunch or dinner, things are easy.

Yes, it is. And I think that's all life is about, that, you know, picking up those little gifts. So today only I was working with one of my mentees and She was like, she's not like, we are not able to, you know, figure out her why yet. So like a lot of discussion on why. So she was like, I need to feel this way, I need to, you know, feel free, I want to do these things so that I can, you know, uh, help other people feel the same way that I feel. So I was like, there is still an I in it. Yep, there is still an I in it. It is still your need. Your need has to be taken aside and just look at it the way it is, that you have been given gifts, you have been given experiences that were not good, but you handled those experiences. How do you use this small little gifts that you have got, and how do you create value to the world? That's probably is your why. Because see, God is giving you experiences for a reason, right? Every little experience is a gift.

True.

That we need to recognize because this is something which we receive and we need to learn from it, and then we are able to give to someone else. If we don't learn, we'll not be able to give to someone else, right? So I've been given a gift, that only I can give to someone once I have.

And I think the first step here is accepting, you know, who we are as a person, right? Right, totally. Right, right.

I— and there's so many, so I can give so many instances of this. And why talk about someone else? Even I was like this, right? So I also needed validation from everybody, and I did my best to keep getting validation from others. But the moment I realized that I don't really need to do this, the moment I started feeling that I am enough—

absolutely—

that need for getting validation from someone else is gone. So the work is to be done inside, but then what people are asking from the outside So this one revelation like completely changes perspective.

I am enough. I think that's the— Aporkuch lona lo, talk show se ek sentence rule lena, I am enough. You know, I'm really telling to all the people who are listening, because the moment we feel that we are equipped, hamare pas wo sare resources hai jo hamein chahiye. We do not operate from a scarcity mindset. We are whole and complete as we are, however we are. Yes, we are work in progress. Me and Neetu do not know everything today. But we are also learning each and every day, and we are lifelong learners.

Absolutely.

We are moving ahead in that journey.

So Nirupama, one thing, uh, you know, that you can tell viewers from the show who is sitting on that cusp, and they are women, a lot of women who are like new mothers, and they are constantly thinking that, you know, because I get so many, you know, mothers reaching out to me saying that I'm not able to manage my child and work, and I don't know what to do. I'm just totally frustrated. It's very difficult for a woman if they have to take that plunge of moving the way you move from being an employee to an entrepreneur. What is that one piece of advice that one can take from this podcast and go and, uh, you know, use it in their life to make their life better? Tell us about that one thing that would inspire them to take that action that they are not able to take.

I would say the first thing that you need to know, or that one thing, because you asked me that one thing, is to have that clarity. Do I have the risk appetite to take that plunge? Because not everybody has it. And maybe your life is better the way you are at this moment, taking care of the kid, being in a job, and doing whatever you are doing. But if you are not clear that I can handle that kind of a risk at this juncture, please don't take that risk. Because here it's a very different path altogether, and I am not wanting to get— I don't want to be giving you any motivation gyaan or any sort of, you know, a pep talk that would really help you take that plunge. I just want to show you the reality.

Many a times, but it also happens, Nirupama, that, you know, they can, uh, you know, do that thing, but they still— there are so many other attachments. So say, for example, this one lady reached out to me that she has to start work again after her, you know, uh, child was born. Like, after 6 months she was supposed to join work, and she does not want to leave the child. But she wants to leave the home because she's not happy with the environment at home.

Yes.

And she thinks that going to the job would give her the financial independence also, and then she will also get some kind of respite from the negative energies at home. So there's just a lot of mixed emotions. It's not just about whether—

Can I answer this particular situation? Yes, please. So the first part that I was talking about was to take a plunge towards entrepreneurship. You know, if they are thinking to take that plunge towards entrepreneurship, that's where I spoke about that risk appetite part. Now we are talking about the second situation. A mother who is attached to her child doesn't want to, you know, leave the child behind. And we all have that mother's guilt a lot of times that we don't want to be a bad mother to children. So I would say Here in this case, it's very important for you to work on your attachment pattern. Do not make your job as an escape mechanism, that just because I'm not able to handle the things at home, all those things that are happening at home, I want to run to my job so that I don't see that. It is almost like 'all this is happening in my life, let me turn my face to the other side.

I don't want to see that.' Yes, rather than solving the problem, just run away from it.

Yes, and it doesn't come for a very long time because even if you go there, you might be thinking that, 'Why am I doing this part?' And like the way Neetu has been constantly repeating that thing, have your why clear. Have your white clear, attack the core of your problem, reflect, introspect, find out what is happening within me, and go to an expert if you need to. It's absolutely okay to take help if we are not able to deal with what is happening with us. We all have taken help, and that is the reason once we have overcome those emotional blocks, those emotional wounds, those beliefs, limiting beliefs that we had, we are able to speak with more conviction, we are able to speak with more confidence, and we are able to speak from that experience, right?

So yes, everybody who has listened to this podcast, please listen to what Nirupama is saying. This makes so much sense. Work on yourself, figure out your why, work on the limiting beliefs that's limiting you. Actually, you are limitless. All of us are limitless. God sent us the way that we should be limitless, and it is. And we are living in an era which actually gives us everything that we want. And, uh, take leverage of that. Figure out the problems that you are having. Reach out to an expert. Ask for help. We all asked for help, and it's working for us. It's going to work for you as well. And with that, Thank you so much, Nirupama, for coming and giving so much knowledge and sharing insights with us. I'm sure a lot of people will gain a lot of insight from this podcast. And anybody who wants to reach out to Nirupama, uh, she is like very, very active on social media. Please find her on LinkedIn and get her help. And with that, we'll bring this to a close. And thank you once again, Nirupama, for this entire episode.

The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for having me, and let's rock together. Absolutely.

Thank you.

Have a great day. Thank you.