Episode 6 of wellness with Sandeep Punj. #lifecoach #podcast #lifejourney #wellnesscoach #wellbeing

Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of We Rise Wellness Podcast. Today we have Sandeep Punj with us who has over 2 decades of experience in strategy and corporate planning. He is a leadership coach who has trained more than 1.4 lakhs people in his lifetime, and today he will be sharing his insights as a life coach and a performance coach with us. Welcome Sandeep to the podcast, and we are so, so grateful that you could take out the time to speak to us.

Thank you so much, uh, Neetu. It's pleasure to be with you on, uh, podcast. So let's start.

Sure. So Sandeep, uh, you know, 2 years— I mean, 20 years of corporate experience, and then suddenly a jump from there to, you know, becoming a coach. What has been the transition journey like? I mean, what made you think that I want to become a coach now?

Okay, so I, I am a person who thinks a lot. So while I was looking at many, many options, I realized that we live in a world which is dominated by technology and internet. There is no scarcity of information. So the natural question that I had was, why do people with same set of information have different results? And why two people who face the same situations, they also react differently? One gets disturbed, one remains calm, someone doesn't even bother. There has to be something fundamentally missing or a link. If we can find that, maybe we can help almost everyone. So why people are not doing what they should be doing in life to live a great life and how to fix it? So with these questions, I started off my journey, and this is something which started gaining momentum over a period of time because these questions were very, very tough for me to, you know, understand and find the answers. So finally, I decided, I said, if I have to live I have worked enough in corporate, let me make some social impact, let me make impact with people, people's life who are struggling, who have fear. There is something that is missing. So that's how the journey started.

Sir, I mean, just asking a personal question, there must have been some trigger for you. I mean, something that must have happened that you decided finally that no, now I need to take that jump. Was it there? And if it was, I mean, would you like to share?

Not exactly like that. While interacting with many people, I realized that corporate world will have a limitation because you're working for someone. At times you have, what we say, conflicts. At times you have certain discomforts, especially on ethical issues. And if you want to live your life on your own terms, then you need to step out of that domain. The only thing that was there in my mind was I didn't want to move out as a failure. So I thought that let me finish off with my corporate world, and in the meantime, I'll also prepare myself to find out the answers and create something which would be valuable in the long run. And the third reason was that what will I do after the retirement age? So retirement age means probably 20 years, next 20 years, 30 years. So this is enough, this is the right time to, you know, step out and create something. So that's how the journey actually started.

Great. And you work with a lot of youth, I believe, because you are also a career coach. So I want to understand, uh, what Do you think is right now the problem with the youth, uh, that maybe they don't even understand themselves at a deeper level? Uh, what are your insights there?

So thinking is one of the most fundamental life skills, okay? Everything in life depends on the way you think. All acquired information, knowledge from different sources, from media, from books, will be useless unless you know how to use that information using the right method of thinking to produce the results that you really desire in your life. Now, for youth, what I have seen is they are running after almost everything. So when they run after everything, they get, they get attracted towards shiny object syndrome. This creates confusion, this creates conflict within the mind, which further reduces their attention and focus. Okay. Attention and focus is the highest level of personal achievement which I believe one can have in life. So whatever people are watching, whatever people are seeing, whatever people are hearing, eating, drinking, the fundamental question that I normally, you know, ask people is in any area of life, whether it is relationship, whether it is relationship, whether it is family, whether it is work, whether it is finance, The basic question that I always ask youth is, how exactly any of this will improve your life and help you achieve your dreams or goals that matter most? And this is where I find that youth is not— they don't have that kind of a clarity. Some of them have clarity about the career they want, but they have no idea about how they want their family life to be. They have no idea about some other domains of life. So holistically, when somebody does well, he is living a great life. Doing good in career, getting a lot of money will not create happiness which they actually want. So, so we are not looking at life, we are not looking at the bigger picture of life. So that's what I believe is the biggest challenge at as of today.

Right, a well-balanced life. So truly said, so truly said. So tell us, Sandeep, what is your unique process that you follow to help people remove negativity and achieve their desired results?

Okay, so when I started off this journey, even I was struggling. Almost— we struggled for almost more than 2 years figuring out a simple process which if people use they should be able to get the results that they really want. And there were a lot of confusions within mind. So what I also realized was that things can be replaced where they exist. So if thinking is one of the most fundamental life skill, thinking originates in your mind. So it needs to be replaced only in your mind. By hearing, by reading books, you will not be able to process that information. So we started creating that process around it. So what is the best way to, you know, work? And it started off with gaining clarity first about life. What are the different areas of life? What are the different roles that you play in life? What are the different desires that you have in life? And then fixing, uh, helping them decide on this part. Uh, normally what happens is if you don't take time to decide consciously your goals or dreams, you will, you will be moved towards things which you probably won't— you may not want in your life. So we came up with a definition saying that whatever you want, it should be useful, beneficial, helpful, and profitable. Now look at your life, all areas, whether it is family, What would be useful, beneficial, helpful, and profitable for you and your family, for you and your colleagues, for your career, for your money? And then create a statement which you would like to pursue in life. So that's the first step from where we started creating the framework. Now, once you are clear about what you want, what are your roles, what are people's expectations, The second step was how do you create it? So we figured out a building block system saying that you pick up, you look at life as a system which consists of smaller systems and smaller systems consist of even smaller systems. Let me give you an example. Let's say if you want to start an organization, you look at the vision, you have certain something in mind like how do you want your organization to be in the world. Now once that vision statement is decided, then you look at how do you create that organization. So building blocks, maybe you will have departments, departments will have roles, roles will have responsibilities, responsibilities will have certain results that are required, and for each result there will be certain tasks that you will have to perform. So when you look at this bigger picture, you get clarity how do you achieve your vision. Similarly, to your life You will have to probably think as to what is, or what kind of a family life you would like to have. So anchor statement which needs to be agreed with all the family members, and then you look at what are the important areas of life, what are the important roles that you will have, what are the important tasks that need to be done, and then get it distributed among the people. And then finally also, I mean, to avoid conflict, agree on whose decision would be final. I often find that, you know, in absence of these things, families conflict, confusions, they keep increasing, blame, excuses, reasons, logic coming in. People are, people are, people never get out of this loop. Similarly, when you, when you have to choose your career, you need to look at your own liking, interest. What is it that you are really interested in? Any subject, any topic, any concept. Once you figure out— I'm talking about the building blocks— so once you figure out what is it that you are really interested in, then the next step is you look at, do you have that samadhi or the capability, you know, create that thing in the world? So second is, are you really good at it? So do you have that knowledge, skill? If not, then develop that. The third is, with all the information and knowledge that you have in the area where you are interested, can you solve problems of people?

True.

If I'm really good with relationship, can I help people solve their relationship issues? And this would require a lot of study. You need to study relationship, you need to study families, then only you will be able to come out with some concrete methodology which applies to almost everyone. And then the last question, of course, if you want to get into businesses, will people pay for it? So you test that, right? So that's about building block.

Still here, finding your ikigai, right? I keep telling people who come out and ask me for— you know, I get so many DMs where people ask me, uh, how can I get a job? I'm like, don't look for any job, you know. You first go and work on yourself, find your ikigai, and then you start looking for a job, and you will be, you know, able to really completely feel fulfilled and enjoy that work that you will be doing right now. But the problem now, Sandeep, is what I understand is that people are under a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure of earning money like upfront. So probably that's where, you know, the disconnect is. And they have never been given time till, you know, 25 years of age to even think about money and their purpose and the things that they like, because they have been in the education system till then, and then when they graduate, immediately they have to start earning. So I think that is what is creating the pressure. What are your take on that?

Uh, you're absolutely right. See, everything starts with fixing a goal, because unless and until you're absolutely clear about what you want in life or how you want your thing to be, any decision, any choice that you will make, uh, will be directionless. Because if there is no end goal, then you will be drifting through your life. You will have no clue, uh, what to do in different situations. So life, the way I look at it, is, is life is made up of situations— familiar, unfamiliar, challenging. But in every situation, if you can remember your goal, the, the goal will guide you towards the choices that you have to make towards the values that you need to imbibe towards, the actions that you need to take. So this is how we start with your vision statement or your best interest statement or your true interest statement. This is what we call, or in simple terms, what do you really want out of life or in life. So once you have written that statement, we help people create those building blocks, which is more like a plan or a strategy. To achieve that goal. Now the real problem happens after this. Till this place, you actually— okay, so you actually are using, uh, you know, uh, what we say, uh, the information which is available on internet to look at the building blocks, or how do you create a plan, how do you create a strategy. Now, once you have acquired all these things, the next thing is how do you process it within your mind. This is where we are teaching students and people how to use their progressive experience. Now, progressive experience, as I said earlier, that things can be replaced where they exist. So thought can be replaced by a thought, not by what I hear. Unless and until I repeat it mentally, silently in my mind, it will not get replaced. A repeated thought becomes belief. So that belief, you are not even aware. Unconsciously, you are talking about all the things in world except what you want and how to get it. So that creates bigger problems. So then the second part that we are talking about is where we, we help them gain that mental experience by using certain techniques and certain methodologies. Now this is about your past, what you have done in the day. So here we are talking about three key things that you need to control to move forward in your life. One is, of course, time. So how did you spend your time yesterday? How much was well used from future perspective? How much was wasted from future perspective? Exercises that you do mentally. The second is the type of conversation that you have— conversation with your own self and conversation with people. Was it leading towards what you really want? Were you creating the life that you really want, or was that conversation directionless? The third part is the action. Taking action is easy. What is really difficult is connecting the dots. So taking action to achieve the desired result is where most people falter or fail. So that's the second, third value-add category that we add. So once they gain progressive experience about what they need to learn, where we introduce the concept of moment of learning. So people understand when they make mistake, people also understand on their own which mistake they need to eliminate without you telling them. So these exercises when they do mentally, they realize, the realization comes very fast. To what is it that I need to be doing. For example, uh, your goal is to create a happy family. Now it is your goal, not your family. I'm making a distinction. So your goal is to create a family. Now there is an argument, a rubbish argument, a stupid argument, and you lose your anger. Now the question is, if your goal is to create happiness, the action that you have taken created frustration or anger resulted into anger, will it take you towards your goal? If the answer is no, then you figure out what is it that you will do next which would align you to achieve this goal. So clarity comes, clarity appears in mind. So the thing that we talk about is whose goal is it? Is it your goal? Is it my goal? Or is it a common agreed goal? So anybody who has a goal will have to pay the price, and this price you pay mentally. Now, once this building block is complete, then we talk about the decisive mindset where we help, you know, students build hope and faith. We tell them not to worry about the limiting beliefs that they have because you can't figure out— it's very difficult to, you know, literally figuring out what is limiting belief in your own head and what is the end use. Even if I am able to figure out what is my limiting belief, at the end, I would like to, you know, remove that. So learn a methodology where you don't have to figure out what is limiting you. You build your life based on faith. And we are teaching a very simple process here. Anything that you accept, which you agree, accept, and say, I can, you are demonstrating faith. Yeah, you're demonstrating faith. You persisting, you're demonstrating faith. You stop taking action is a lack of faith. You don't take action, you're resisting. Whenever you resist, it says that you don't have faith. So the opposite of that would be, I can't do it, and that's limiting. So we say that you start building faith, and we give them various situations which students come up with. And they, you know, try to figure out. So we help them building faith and then helping them understand what are the challenging situations that they may face today, situations that may come up in their life in various areas of building blocks, in various areas of life, and what will they do, how will they prepare themselves, you know, navigate and then move forward. Either you are moving towards your goal or you are moving away from your goal or you are stuck. You're standing where you are without taking action. Indecision. Now indecision can, can have, can have very bad impact on your life. It can create negativity very quickly. And the worst part is that before you realize, you'll start moving away from it. So that's the methodology that we are using.

Superb, superb. So, uh, I mean, to sum it up, generally what I do when I have to set a goal is first to you know, uh, understand what category it is. So for me, I mean, I, you know, align my goals, uh, under 5 different categories to have a well-balanced life. Then I align my belief system to my vision, and then there is a purpose that why I want to, you know, achieve that vision, and then there is a strategy. So these are the 4 things that, you know, I basically consider while setting up a goal, and that goal is like a north star, like you said that where do you want to reach. So I mean, I think I can summarize that for you as well, that, you know, you are saying that fix a goal which is your North Star and then start working backwards from it because you have to reach there. So once that is done, and, uh, you know, you are— then you actually become very, very empowered yourself, and, uh, to reach there and be decisive and take those actions and Create those values among yourself that will get you there. I think, uh, now people don't get it, and I have, believe me, uh, hired a lot of mentors and coaches myself also to get this. So I urge people to— who don't understand this, please reach out to someone who understands this, who can help you and guide you with this. Uh, this is very, very important. I mean, even, you know, the richest of people in this world have coaches and mentors to guide them. There must be a reason around it, and that is why they are so successful, right? Right. So, uh, tell me, I mean, uh, you know, what kind of normal questions, you know, do you get asked while you are giving a training? What are the, you know, basic questions that get faced every time you are giving a training?

So most of the time, people, when they ask questions, they have the answers with them. So questions that they ask is, how do I stop overthinking? I don't want stress in my life. I don't want to worry in my life. I don't want to have fear. How do I overcome negativity in my life? I have lots of talent and still I'm not where I want to be in life. I'm struggling. Now, these questions, if you look at very closely, by nature they are positioned negatively. They are about me.

I don't want this instead of saying I want this. I, I mean, I have a friend who keeps telling me, I don't want this, I don't want this. And, you know, finally she has manifested all those things in her life that she did not want.

So yeah, by nature they, they, they are moving you away from your goals. So often, uh, this happens because of ignorance. So when I, when I speak to them, I ask them, you decide, how do you want your life to be? They normally have no answers. So the question that they should be asking is, how do I create the life I want? What should I be doing currently to reach there? Now that gives you a clear direction about what you really want. So when you think about what you don't want, one thought leads to another negative thought, that leads to another negative thought, and by the time you realize, you are already depressed or sad. So that's how— that's, that's where they are stuck.

So it's like not being— and not knowing which direction to go to. Like, if this direction is what I want and this direction is what I don't want, and you're focusing on what I don't want, what I don't want, you start moving that side instead of moving this side. So it's very, very important for each one to first understand what we really want and then start manifesting what we want. Instead of what we don't want. I think you have really put it very wonderfully.

At times people ask me whether we should think positively or think negatively. I said this is only a piece of puzzle, don't look at it positive thinking, negative thinking. These are the measures of how you are thinking. Rather start thinking about what you want and what you can do to achieve what you want, which is performance thinking. The moment you shift your focus to what you want internally, This is what I want, and now what steps I need to take, step by step, you know, first step, second step, third step. Your thoughts will start moving in the right direction, and that's positive. Any thought which is coming to your mind which is not helping you achieve your goals is a negative one. So don't get stuck. I mean, you don't have to look for answers from people outside. All wisdom comes from within. Now You know, you need to remember this. That's what I often tell people, that all growth is from within. And this is evident in all, everything in nature. Every plant, every animal, every human being is a living testimony of this great truth. Yet we look for strength or power outside. Isn't this ironical? Mind is the only creator. As I said, all wisdom comes from within. Anything and everything that you will achieve All achievements are result of your accumulated consciousness or wisdom, okay? And all losses are because of your scattered consciousness where you are not focused, you're not taking conscious steps towards your goal. Losing wisdom, losing experience, that's what it is.

Superb, superb, great. Thank you so much for sharing such amazing insights, Sandeep. Any closing thoughts that you want to leave us with, uh, which, you know, the youth needs to understand? Not just youth, anybody who's watching this program, what should be their final take from this program?

All you need is your goal, hope, and faith to do your— so what I'm saying is all you need is your goal, hope, and faith, and do your best without thinking about what you will get in return. So let me give you an example. If you're a homemaker Give your best service to the family without expecting anything in return. If you are an— let's say if you are a salesperson, start meeting clients, explain what you do, show them the benefits. Don't expect any sales in the— on the same day. Now you can take this principle and test it. Do not start this unless and until you have made up your mind completely to stick with it, because by being persistent, you are demonstrating faith. And if you fail, start over again for next 30 days. So decide what you want, have faith, trust in your plan, no matter even if it looks, uh, out of the blue, or even if the plan seems something which is— which will not work. Don't worry about that. Your plan will work.

So once it falls into place— see, I mean, I have been writing to my LinkedIn connect since 2018, and I've connected with wonderful people. And that's how we two also connected, right? When I reached out to you with that message, I didn't know that we would be collaborating for this podcast, but universe has its own ways of manifesting things that we want. And probably, you know, this is what we can leave people with, that just give your best wherever, you know, you are trying to make value. Just try to give your best and you will get the best out of it. If not now, you know, later on. But God has its own ways of making things work for you.

Absolutely. Great, great.

Thank you so much, Sandeep, for coming today. And, uh, thank you, audience, for listening to us. I hope you had a good time listening to this program.

Thank you so much, Neetu, for inviting me and giving us the opportunity to, you know, talk on the podcast, because I normally— I don't, uh get you to any of these podcasts, but I understand that yes, this is probably what is required in today's world if you have to reach masses. So thank you very much once again, and we'll stay connected. Let's see where it goes. All the best. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Sandeep. Thanks. Bye-bye.