The worst advice is trying to impress people with wit. Instead, figure out what kind of conversation is happening: practical, emotional, or social. Both people need to be in the same mode at once, or nothing lands.
Probably the worst advice is just try and impress the person you're talking to. Like, really concentrate on being like really witty and saying the smart thing. The much better advice is to say to someone, look, there's a couple of skills that you should invest in to become a good communicator. One of them is you should figure out what kind of conversation is actually happening right now. And in general, these conversations tend to fall into one of three buckets. There's these practical conversations where we're making plans together or we're solving problems. But then there's also emotional conversations where I tell you what I'm feeling, and I don't want you to solve my feelings. I want you to empathize with me. And then there's social conversations, which is about how we relate to each other and relate to society, the identities that are important to us. And what researchers have found is that all three of these conversations are all equally important. And during a discussion, you'll probably have all three conversations. Right. But if you're not having the same kind of conversation at the same moment as the other person, you cannot fully hear each other. You will not feel connected to each other. And within psychology, this is known as the matching principle. Successful communication requires having the same kind of conversation at the same moment. That's going to make you feel much more connected to each other.
