S5:E20 - Would College Kids Return to Our Towns? with Jaci Praska

You are listening to the Growing Small Towns Show, a podcast dedicated to supporting you, the person who really cares about the future of your small town. We believe when people get better, everything gets better, and our episodes offer the ideas and actions that prioritize people and small communities. Thank you for listening. We're so glad you're here. Our guest on today's episode is Jaycee Praska. So, uh, this is kind of fun for me. Jaycee, uh, she is as close to one of my own children as she could be without being one of my own children. Uh, Jaycee is the daughter of Jerry and Jonda Praska. Jonda Praska babysat me when I was a little girl. She and her family lived just down the gravel road from me when I was growing up. Uh, and in fact, I was so close to her family, I called her mom and dad grandpa and grandma, and they didn't ever correct me. And so I had bonus grandparents, and Jaycee is Jonda's daughter. So it is a, a complete pleasure to invite Jaycee onto the show today. Jaycee is, um, she's attending the University of North Dakota, so she's a college student. She graduated from our high school here in Oaks, uh, a couple of years ago, and, um, she spent this summer back here in Oaks. She helped her parents out at their hardware store. So Jaycee grew up being the kid of a locally owned business, you know, parents of— or her parents were business owners here in Oaks. She has a unique perspective on community development, on, on what it means to, to have watched your parents interact so meaningfully in the community. And that's what we talked about today on the show. Of course, I'm always interested in what would entice a young person like Jacey to return to our community. And that's not said or done with any pressure. It's more just what can we learn from our young people? And I think the best way to learn from them is to ask them. So please enjoy this lovely episode with one of my favorite girls in the world, Jacey Praska. Hi, Jacey.

Hi, Becky.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you.

Oh, we need to do this again. Oh, yeah. We need to make sure— We're so, so happy to have you here.

I'm excited to be on today.

Yeah, I, so, um, this is kind of, for me, it's a, a bit of a continuation of my Carter episode, the Carter episode. He's 13 though. And can you, for the listeners, can you tell our audience how old you are?

Yeah, I'm 20, but okay. I get mistaken as like 15 a lot.

Yeah. Well, that might happen for a while. That'll be something to ride out well into your 20s, probably even into your 30s. It's great, right? Yeah. I, uh, this is more though for me, like there, there's a couple of reasons I wanted to invite you here. Um, not just because I love you and care about you and your family means a lot to me and all of that. That's all true. But honestly, I, I think you have a really unique perspective on, uh, small town, like small towns, what it's like to grow up here. You are, uh, by all accounts. A very good product of the public school system. Do you know what I mean by that?

Mm-hmm.

What does that mean? Like, I should maybe check with you. Like when I say that, what comes to mind for you?

I guess for me, I was always like super involved. Mm-hmm. In the public school, more so small class B. Yep. Where else do you get to play 3 sports? And not saying I was any good, but I was on those teams and a part of it.

And well, you don't have to worry about getting cut.

Exactly.

Necessarily. Right? Like that's not, you maybe, you maybe don't see as much of the floor or the field, whatever it is we're talking about. But you do, you get to experience a lot. Yeah.

Exactly. And then also just being part of all the organizations, student council, honor society, FFA, everything that comes with being from a smaller school. And then just it being in North Dakota, going to the state level and meeting everyone around the state so early was really, really cool to be part of.

Your, so I was thinking about this earlier when I was getting ready. I was like, okay, Jacy's coming on, like, what are some of the things we're gonna talk about? The cool thing about this is we're just having a conversation. It'll go where it goes. But one of the things I was thinking about was, um, the idea of a student like you now that you're, you know, you've gone on, you're at UND in Grand Forks. Um, do you think about returning?

Um, yeah, often. I think it's very conflicting right now.

Yeah. I wanna, and I wanna get into that a little bit cuz it's, cuz, so as you know, the people that listen to this show primarily are people that also care about their small communities, right? And I mean, I don't know if you knew this, but like, everybody wants you back. We all, we all want you back specifically, but all small communities are just clamoring to get their, their young people to return, right? I, we don't have a, we don't have a higher education opportunity here in Oaks unless you did something online. So like, To me, it's quite expected that our students might leave for a handful of years, whether they just go to the workforce or they go on to other schooling or whatever. But ultimately, we all want you back, right? So let's talk about that. Like, what's, what's conflicting about it for you?

You know, I think being from a small town, I'm always gonna be connected to that. And I love coming back here, especially in the summers. I mean, I got to intern at Potassic Financial and get to do accounting on day one. And in a big city, that's just not going to happen. You're just not going to have the ability to have an internship here while also working, you know, for my family's hardware store. And I don't— I always feel connection here. I love knowing everybody. I think that's one of my biggest things going to school in a bigger city is I meet someone, say, from Bismarck and I'm like, oh, do you know so-and-so? And they're like, no.

And you're like, wait, what?

Yeah, I'm always like, what? Like, how do you not know everyone in your town?

Right, right.

But then there's also the draw of the big city and all the experiences and the new people and then all the opportunities that come with it. Not saying there's not those opportunities here, but it's different.

They're different. They're definitely different. So what— okay, so you've just identified some of the reasons you'd consider coming back, right? What, and, and you're only 20. And when I say only, I simply mean like any, any reasons you're gonna share with us as to what might be holding you back when you think about that are all gonna be, everything is valid here. Okay. Uh, it's just, it's, it's almost unfair. So I'm not trying to put you on the spot, just so you know that. Right. Um, but as a 20-year-old, so you're gonna be starting your third year.

Yes.

Of college. You're gonna be a junior in college. Holy smokes.

What are the—

when you think about coming back, what reservations do you have about it?

Well, this is kind of hard to get into, but I feel like we get into hard things on this podcast, JC, so have at it. I think there is kind of a stigma about coming back to your hometown, especially when you do go to a bigger college. Um, I think coming back, sometimes people maybe think you failed or you gave up and you went the easy way, but I don't see it that way. And for a while, I kind of did stuck in that. I would say my freshman year of college, I was like, no, I'm not coming back, I'm going to go to a big city. But then when I do come back, I feel the community and I love it, and I love North Dakota. So I don't know, I think it's a stigma that we need to break through. And I think I was thinking about this the other day as we were talking about going on this podcast, and I thought to myself, did I ever think of my parents failing because they came back to Oaks? No, I've never thought of that. I've never thought of anyone else's parents or adults here failing cuz they came back. So why am I putting all that pressure on myself?

Yeah. Why don't we talk about that a little bit? Cuz I absolutely felt that way.

Mm-hmm.

I wrote a book about it, for crying out loud. Like, I, it was really hard for me. Uh, and I'll be honest about this too, JC, in this kind of, um, fishbowl of an environment where like, everything we do is, and, and I'm a, I'm a public person in the sense that I'm like on social media and I'm out in the community. Right. Um, I've had some people really push back on that and, and saying it as if I'm saying I'm embarrassed to be here. That's, that's not it.

Right.

For, for me also, I'll tell you how it felt for me and then just share anything that feels relevant to you about that. Because if that's a true thing, JC, we all have to think about how do we help our young people work through that. Uh, and it— we never help people work through it by just being like, well, just don't think that, right? This is like any— this is like any mental thing. Mental health. We just had a mental health thing. You've been a part of our mental health coalition meeting, so it's been awesome to have your perspective. Uh, being human is hard, right? So like, we never want to just diminish your thoughts and feelings and dismiss them as if they're not valid. It's all valid. For me, I, well, and one of the big differences between the age that you're growing up in and when I was 20, like so many things. I mean, there's so many things that make it different. Like the, like the, just how connected the world gets to be from every little pocket of the world. Like as long as you have good internet, you literally are connected to everything. That's a huge difference between. Our environments at the time, right? Or, you know, for me at the time. But for me, I think it was more about just, I never imagined myself here. I, I kind of, I was like, I was ambitious, I worked hard, I was involved in all the things. We actually, I mean, your mom has said to me so many times, she's so much like you, you know, like just in terms of you, every, every single experience, you snatch it up, which is awesome. I love it. And I just think there, for me, it wasn't I felt like, does this mean I've settled?

Right.

Does this mean that I'm choosing somehow less for myself than I should pursue, or, or always expect, was expected to pursue? It was honestly mostly internal for me. How much, if any, of that feels true for you, or what's different for you?

That's spot on. It's How far can I go? But why do we need to be so far away at the same time? You know what I mean?

Yeah. And what if we don't?

Exactly.

What if you don't?

Last year I had the opportunity to listen to the former Commerce Commissioner of the state, Josh Chegan, and he talked about how when people go to big cities, there's 400 people applying for a job, but here there might only be 4. And it's like, wow, like maybe it is more of an opportunity here than we're really letting it be. It's easy, not easier, but maybe easier to attain, I guess.

Yeah. Well, and I think, I mean, I think it really just depends on what people want for their lives. Um, something that you're really wired for is networking. Mm-hmm. Uh, and just connecting with humans, North Dakota. Is an excellent place to actually, I mean, and you're already as a young person, you were just recently appointed to the, um, the governor's Economic Development Foundation, right? Is that right? Is that the whole thing? The board of the foundation. Um, I think this is a new thing in North Dakota. Um, so now you literally are sitting in a room with the governor, right? Of North Dakota and you're 20. Um, now there's some things that, you know, obviously like the, the one thing I always wanna be careful about, JC, on this show. Is making sure that we always recognize if we've been, if we've had a privileged position that allowed us to do some of these things where it's not always the same for everybody. Mm-hmm. I, I always recognize that at the same time, you worked really hard, right? You know, I, I, so I don't ever wanna take that away from you or just make it sound like all, all anybody has to do is work hard. There's, you know, your parents were an amazing, you had an amazing support structure.

Correct.

Right.

Yeah.

Um, that, that's, that can't be denied. No. But, um, you literally sat in a room just, wasn't it just this last week was your first meeting? Yeah.

It was with like the commissioner and the deputy commissioner and—

okay. So Governor Armstrong was not in the room with you?

No, he wasn't.

But he will be though.

He traveled to Oaks last summer and I gotta meet him. Yeah. So that was really exciting.

And that's, and that's just it. It's like, that's for somebody like you who's wired for connection and relationship building. A smaller state or a smaller place, whatever that, you know, smaller company could be a same way to look at this. Awesome opportunities for you. Mm-hmm. So, okay, let's talk a little bit about, um, what it was like growing up with parents that owned such a mainstay local business. Your parents owned the hardware store.

Yeah.

You know, like it's, You're— well, and I have so many— I could tell so many stories about your parents. They're close personal friends of our families, obviously. But your dad, he really is particularly good at running a hardware store. I know.

Like, tool time Jerry.

Tool time Jerry. He's amazing, right? And you got to grow up watching that. How and in what ways did that shape you?

I think growing up in the hardware store shaped me in every way. I think even talking to adults, I was how young? Talking to customers and asking them—

You were cutting ads on the radio. Your little voice. What do you remember?

Oh, chopping potatoes. But no, and I'm just showing how to serve the community. They go up at 10 PM when someone's water heater breaks or something like that. They've really showed me how to run a business correctly and ethically.

Mm-hmm.

And just being pillars of the community is what I would call them.

Right. Oh, they are all the way. Right. And it's, it's special. So when you think about, like, is there, okay, so you literally, you were, you grew up and your parents owned a business. You knew it was your parents' store, right? Mm-hmm. Is this like desire to own your own business? Did that seed get planted or, or are you on kind of on the fence about that, which you totally get to be because you're 20. Again, we'll just keep saying like, you don't have to have this figured out. But what, you know, is that something that you feel like entrepreneurship, that seed's been planted or what do you think?

I think it definitely did. Getting to grow up and I was so involved, my parents owning their own business definitely gave them the opportunity to be able to go to all my activities and games and events. And that's something that I would really like in my life as well. And yes, they obviously work more all the time.

They work really hard all the time. Mm-hmm.

But also having that flexibility. To be able to go to, say, my future family's events or anything networking on the state, I can choose. That would be really awesome too.

Yeah, it's really going to be fun to see what you decide to do. Um, okay, so you've always been a bigger thinker than your age, I think, um, which is super fun. It's partly why I'm like, do you want to come on the show? You're like, really, do we have to? But here we are, and you're doing great.

I just don't know if I can beat Carter's episode. It's pretty good.

Well, I have his stats, so we can— yeah, we can, we can watch it. Yeah, we can watch it for once this goes live and be like, okay, how are we doing? You're not drinking a Coke on the air, so already you, you kind of beat him just in, you know, the logistics of the whole thing. And I don't have to parent you in the middle of it either, which is pretty rad. Okay, the thing— the reason I said you've always been a bigger thinker is because I think You have a perspective. You have the kind of brain where I think you're always making connections. You're looking at things and you're thinking about how that connects to this and that. That's just the way that you think. So you've been back in Oaks this summer. You've been working at the hardware store. You've been supporting my young man as he job shadows at Hardware Hank. What I'm wondering from you is just what do you mo— when you think about people in economic development, and that's the other thing that's cool, right? Like you're on this board now. Mm-hmm. Right. For the governor's appointed, uh, foundation for economic development. What do you think? Give us some tips, like community development, economic development people, chambers of commerce, you know, kind of those org— city councils maybe too. Kind of those groups that are tasked with making things happen in small places. What do we need to do differently when it comes to engaging the youth, involving the youth, getting the youth to be a part of it all?

That's a tough question. Everything's always changing.

Mm-hmm.

I think it's showing them the support. I think right now what's one of the things drawing me back to Oaks is all the other young people coming back here. And I am in the hardware store and I notice everyone talking about it and everyone celebrating them and saying, Did you hear that this family is coming back or this individual is coming back? And everyone is just so excited for them to come back. And I think that's huge. Just word of mouth supporting them.

Mm-hmm.

Telling them, we want you back. We want you back. Because our generation hears a lot, well, you guys don't know how to do it, or you guys won't do this or that. And I think it's really important for them to hear it from the community members. Come back. We have jobs for you. We have opportunities. And I think that's huge.

Yeah. I love that. So do you think, that in— again, this is, this is a generalization, right, which I—

is—

can, it can be kind of hard. But do you think overall there is a, a negative perspective or, or, um, opinion of your generation? And if so, what, what do you feel like you're hearing that you want us to know just actually isn't true? What's a myth? That's the way I'd put it, maybe. What's a myth about your generation? What are we getting wrong about you?

I would say like the work ethic.

I think a lot of people— Yeah. Say, say more, please. Yeah. Say more.

I think it's very generalized and I think in every generation there's people who work super, super hard and people that don't. And I think our generation, yes, we're finding maybe the easier way out, but the old older guy that works at the grocery store across the street always comes in. Are you working? Are you working hard? Are you hardly working? And I think that's like true. Like, are you hardly working cuz you're figuring it out easier?

Yeah.

And I think that's okay.

Yeah. So you're kind of talking about almost efficiencies, right?

Yes.

Or like innovations that you guys are bringing into the workplace. And, and, and here's the tru— here's the hard and painful truth. And I say this all the time cuz I still do org development work, right? Where we're trying to talk to companies, owners, and leaders of how to embrace this young generation. And I think the truth is they're they're actually smarter than we are. You guys, you are smarter than me in a bunch of ways, Jaycee.

I don't know about that.

No, I do. I mean, I do know that. I know that and it's true. And I think the most important thing is for us to recognize that we can actually learn from everybody.

Exactly.

And it go, and that goes both ways, right? That, um, it's important for the younger people coming into the workforce that we're not, uh, dismissing our older counterparts as kind of archaic and they're like dinosaurs and you know, because life experience I'm not saying it actually matters. It matters a ton.

It's huge.

But, um, you guys are learning things that— well, and I mean, again, technology is— I— is that— do you think that's probably one of the areas of the biggest divide between generations?

I think so. Even just communicating. And I'm going for accounting, and I think even just seeing the different ways of— now we're doing it this way, but we did it that way. And it's just dividing because it's which way works best. Well, they're both working great.

Yeah.

And now it's kind of like, why are everyone trying to change everything? And I don't know the answer to that except they're trying to be more efficient, like you said.

Right, right. Well, and ultimately I just think, um, I, I say this a lot, like you can be frustrated all you want at this youngest generation, and if you want to label them as lazy, entitled, and lacking work ethic, you can. But good luck. Right, right. Because you guys are our future, you know, by 20, I think it's the, the, the number is actually by 2030, 30% of our workforce is gonna be Gen Z. Mm-hmm. That's 5 years away. Right.

And I like, I have a specific example of this. Yeah, please. And I just wanna shout out work ethic.

Now you're sounding like Carter. Carter shouted everybody out.

I have to shout out everyone cuz Carter inspired me. Yeah. But my good friend Ellie. She started her own smoothie business in Oaks, North Dakota. Right. In high school.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, where else does that happen?

Right. Right. And you know, that's just, that's a great example. Thank you for, thank you for, for mentioning Ellie's business cuz there again, there, there was, um, the community was, we flexed, we flexed around her. You know, she had, sometimes she would have limited hours, but as long as she was clear about them and people would kind of know when to expect to see her and when not, you know, when to go in and get her food, when not to. Um, yeah, it's all sorts of opportunities. And I think you touched on something that I think Oaks does really well, and I think we do— we celebrate each other really well. We celebrate people coming back, we celebrate people winning. Um, and everybody listening to this, if you're not doing that in your community, that's an easy place to start. And every single person can do that. Mm-hmm. That's— you don't have to rely on your mayor to do that. You know, you don't have to really, you don't have to, you know, the communities that are like, oh, we're too small and we don't have a chamber. You don't need your chamber to do that. Every individual person stay in the know, pay attention and cheer everybody on.

Right. I can't tell you how many times just in the summer I've heard so many people at the store just so excited for every business to be here. And you know, TJ, she's younger, also starting a business when she called and asked us if we had something because. She didn't have it at her store and we called her to ask her if she had something we didn't have. And that was inspiring to come to want to come back here because there are all these younger individuals deciding to come back. And I don't know if it's just normal because a lot of them did move away for a few years and are now coming back. But I also think that is very important. I'm not going to come on here and say I'm not going to go to a big city and see if I like it, because I think that is very important as well.

I think so too. I think honestly, and I think that for everybody, not just young people, I think everybody should leave their community. You should see some stuff, you should try some stuff, you should experiment, right? You should discover, you should explore, all of that. I really do. I think it's so important because the world is actually much, much bigger than Oakes, North Dakota. You know, it's bigger than North Dakota in general. And that's the only way you're really gonna know too. And I, I think for you and where you're at and trying out a bigger city and deciding, you, you're not gonna know unless you give it a shot. And that's just it too. You'll come, if you do decide one day to come back and you've already checked that box or you've had that experience, then you know you're coming back with no regrets.

Exactly.

No, you know, you didn't leave any like rock unturned, you know, all the rocks were flipped over. You, you know, you tried it all out. I just think that's, I think that's super important. Whether people are leaving town for school or for work, or they're gonna study abroad, or they're gonna do whatever they're gonna do. I think we need to normalize that. I just think we now have a cool opportunity to look at you and say, and go get all of it and then bring it back here.

Exactly.

And we'll welcome you back here.

I think that's been really fun to see, especially cuz they are like my brother's age and they're all coming back and I just think that's really exciting to see.

Mm-hmm. It is. It's really, really fun. The Growing Small Towns show is recorded locally at the Growing Small Towns podcast studio located in Oakes, North Dakota. It's produced by Pheasant Canteen Studio in Aberdeen, South Dakota, with marketing support from Cassidy Johnston in Canyon City, Colorado. Our intro music was created and produced exclusively for Growing Growing Small Towns by James Bergman, singer and songwriter from Fargo, North Dakota. Local and small, it's what we support and it's who we love. Get your community a shout out on the podcast. Call 701-203-3337 and share your small town success that you just don't feel is being celebrated quite enough, and let us shout you out. You can also share your biggest people challenge, and we'll dedicate an episode to offering ideas to help. Hell, you can basically tell us anything, and we'll do what we can to answer. We can't wait to hear from you. Today's small town shout out is to Fort Pierre, South Dakota, where Sunny shared the things that make Fort Pierre fantastic are the people, their history, their rodeos, and their new Missouri River Bridge. Sounds like we all need to make a trip to Fort Pierre, South Dakota, and check out all the awesome things happening. Congratulations to Fort Pierre.

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Okay. What else? What else should, should we think about? You touched on, um, work ethic.

Mm-hmm.

Being a big thing. What else, if anything, for our generation? Yeah, just for your generation. What could we, how about this? Think about it this way, JC. What could we do more of? Or what should we do less of or stop doing entirely if we want to be a place where young people want to be?

I think this is for the whole state of North Dakota, but again, thinking back to when I had my, um, talk with Josh Teagan, I was just blown away by that whole conversation. But he talked about how in North Dakota, whenever anyone says, hey, I'm coming to North Dakota, we go, why? Why would you come here? And I think that's huge. We need to promote Mm-hmm. Not just our small towns, but North Dakota as a whole.

Yep.

Don't say, why are you coming here? Say, that's great. You should do this and this and this. We need to stop saying we have nothing to do here because I think we do.

Yeah.

Have tons to do.

Yep. Oh, I love that, Jaycee. It's so important. I'm gonna say this too. I, um, I think one of the mistakes we make in the state of North Dakota is the way that we talk about the winter. Mm-hmm. Um, and I'm guilty of it because the winters can get kind of brutal and kind of long sometimes. Um, but I actually heard, I was at, I was at this conference. I will not state where cuz I'm not gonna give away who this person was that said it, but I heard, uh, an official person in front of a whole audience of people say, you know, the winter's not that bad because you have heat in your building and then you have auto start on your car. And so in the winter you just run from your building to your car and then from your car to your house and you, you know, you don't have to really be outside. And in the way that hit me, JC, I was just like, that sounds like a miserable existence. You know, like all you're doing is just going from thing to thing and you're not interacting with anybody. Like there are actually a lot of months of the winter where you can be outside.

Yeah.

Right. I mean, there are absolutely times, I mean, we have to, we can't lie about North Dakota winters. They can be kind of tough sometimes. It can get well below zero where you really can't go outside. But that isn't all. It isn't like that is the weather from November till April. Right.

And it's not like to meet with people and be together, we have to be outside.

I mean, exactly, exactly. And I just think it's really important cuz that social connection and, and we all know that actually in the winter, mental health indicators, they do fall. Um, seasonal affect disorder is real, all of those things, right? But I love that you said that, that, and I, and I guess I'll just say this, like, for anybody listening to this, Oaks people especially, since this is my town, when people say they're coming here, or if people just moved here, I've actually heard this happen, like, and this exchange happens. Someone will say, oh yeah, you know, just moved here, and they'll be like, Why? And they say it like that instead of like, oh cool, what my, my question is, what brought you here?

Mm-hmm.

Because I'm always interested, like I actually wanna know, like connect the dots for me. How'd you end up here? But not why.

Exactly.

You know, cuz it just has this implication of like almost we're, our job should be like the checkout person at Praska's Hardware where we're affirming the choices that they're making. You know, you're ringing their stuff up. We should be like affirming affirming their decision to move here, don't you think? Or to visit. Yeah. I love that Josh shared that with you because that's, that is, it is really important cuz if you can fall into that really quickly and if the people that live here speak that way, why would anybody else wanna move here or visit here?

Exactly. That was his main point there. And I think it's so true and I think it's something that we all need to work on is promoting from within.

Yeah, so, um, this was years ago now. Uh, I had a rural sociologist on our podcast. His name is Ben Winchester. He's really— he's a great guy. He's speaking, just for North Dakota people, I guess this will happen, this will air before that. Um, the North Dakota, the rural utility electric cooperative group is bringing him in on October 1st. So I'm gonna go listen to Ben again, but he said he talked about the rural narrative. And that exact thing, like how quick we are to be like, well, why would you wanna live here? That kind of thing. And he's like, nobody is going to move to your town because they feel sorry for you. And it's kind of funny, right? It's like, no one's gonna, no one's gonna listen to us talk about how bad our place is and then be like, oh, I think they need my help. I should probably go and help them unless they're Rebecca. Yeah. Just like a sucker for an underdog. But isn't that, I mean, it's kind of crazy. It's like we can't expect other people to love our place if we don't. Right. So that pride in not just feeling it, but actually saying it, so important.

Mm-hmm. And I think a story to go off of that, and my boyfriend might not love that I shared this story, but he's the best. But he lost his wallet this summer in Bismarck. Never found it. Right? Like it was just gone.

Oh no.

Left it. Left it somewhere, never contacted about it, nothing. The next week he's gotten a new wallet. Now what does he do? Leave it in the gas station in his hometown of Lamour, right close here.

Yep.

Within 10 minutes, a random person has found his Facebook, messaged him and said, hey, you left your wallet at the gas station. I mean, talk about the difference of experience there.

Yeah, for sure.

And that's why rural North Dakota is the place to be.

Yeah, it's actually quite special. And, and let's just talk real quick because you're a— again, you were really involved in lots of things. Um, do you see any fears for you or downsides in your opinion of that closeness? The closeness of a small town? Of a small town. Just like how, how everybody knows you. Are there— were there downsides even growing up?

Yeah, I think there's downsides anywhere. Um, when we were— had volleyball my freshman year, we always talked about this quote-unquote snipers. And I think that's true in every small town. You have to watch out for snipers that are out to get you. And it's true, and you have to work through it. But I also think it shows you how to trust yourself and how to be confident in yourself because people will come after you sometimes.

Yeah. I think it's, it's a, it, it can be really hard though. I mean, I just like, that's a reality. It can be hard when you know that not everybody wants you to succeed. Mm-hmm. And that is, it's an actual reality. Um, and it certainly is in high school. I mean, that's, and again, at whether we wanna get into the labeling of, or the reasons why we think that might be, I'm not even sure that matters. I think it's more just recognizing that it's true, it's real. And then I love what you just said, that it's about figuring out how to trust yourself, right?

And I think it, it is really hard for me and definitely a struggle cuz I am a people pleaser. Mm-hmm. And I do wanna be liked by everyone, but I think getting away almost has given me more experience on saying it's okay. It's okay to not be everyone's number one.

Mm-hmm.

And also coming back and meeting back up with people that I haven't been as close with. It's been nice. It's been nice realizing that you can still be friends with people and be close without being each other's number one all the time.

Yeah, well, I think, I think that's really important. It's a message that, um, I just spoke this last week to a big women's group. And women, I think, and I, everybody can fall prey to people pleasing for sure. That's not just, that's not a gendered thing at all. But women do seem to struggle with it more, and I don't know why. If it's just because we're wired that way or what. Um, but truly recognizing like who deserves this much of your time and your energy and your attention, right? Versus who, who are the people that like, so honestly, when I started this thing, this criticisms just rolled. I mean, like I heard so many things and, uh, eventually I just adopted the mantra like that I'm gonna work with the willing and love the rest, right? So for me, I will work with you if you like, I'm not gonna, love you more than you love yourself, or love your business more than you love your own business. Like, I'm— we're gonna match efforts here, right? So that's the willing. Everybody else is, I'll just love you where you're at. But it's really important, otherwise you end up diluting yourself. You do less of what you love, you do more of what other people love, and you can really lose yourself. Honestly, I think that's, that's probably one of the hardest things for small communities. If you're active and involved person is losing yourself in the pursuit of all of those things. Mm-hmm.

I think that's huge. I don't know, I'm kind of at a loss for words on that. It's just, it's real and it's hard.

Mm-hmm.

And it's not, it's not even peer pressure. It's more of just, this is what everyone's doing. This is what I should be doing.

Yeah.

It's almost a, it's more of a self-imposed pressure.

Yeah.

Truly. Um, cuz I don't think everybody struggles with that. Mm-hmm. But when you do, it's real and it's present. So also just saying no, right? It, it is okay. And actually it's better to reserve your yeses for the things that you can like full-throated, full-bodied say yes to. Right, right. Versus saying yes to all the things and then burning out. Exactly. It's not great.

And I have had to work on that a lot.

I bet you have.

Yes.

When you're ambitious and you, and again, like you have a lot of interests. Lists too, you know? And that's awesome. Like, follow all of those threads until you have those moments where you're like, oh, like, I haven't had a moment to even think for myself. Or if you start to feel like other priorities in your life are, are sliding or shifting or being put on, you know, you like don't even have time for your family or something. That's happened to me for sure. And I've had to be like, oh, okay, this isn't good. We need to kind of snap that back into focus.

It's, am I truly enjoying it, or if I'm just doing it to check the box? And I think that's huge to reflect on.

Huge difference, right? And in, in kind of my world, I call that commitment versus compliance, right? Doing it because you really want to, not just because you're expected to, or like you said, checking a box. It's not great. JC, how are you feeling?

I'm good.

Do we need some like sound effects?

Let's see. I wanted to do the claps when I talked about all the small people, or small, small, cut that. I wanted to do all the claps for when I talked about all the younger people coming back to the small towns.

Oh, all the young people that came back to Oaks. There they are.

I love it.

I see. I'm not great at incorporating my sound effects. They just, cuz they kind of just make me chuckle.

Mm-hmm.

And you have to be here and it's hilarious. Again, Carter had the air horn because Why not? But applause works really great for you.

Right.

So thanks for coming in. I know it's— I care about engaging your entire age demographic. One thing before we go, though, let's talk about high school.

Yeah.

And what, if anything, we as a community could and should do I, I, I still feel like there's a bit of a gap between kind of the school system in general and the community at large, like the business community. Have you ever thought about that, JC? Like, what could we do differently? How could we engage our students?

That's hard.

It, it, well, it is.

I know.

And I'm putting you on the spot. Like, this wasn't like a scripted question.

I just, I actually asked for questions and Becky said, we don't script here.

I don't script. No. And that's okay. Like, if you, if you're just like, I don't really know, that can be your answer. But, you know, especially— I don't know, like you were just talking about, um, Potassic Financial having an internship, right? Did those— were those— did those kinds of opportunities feel available to you in high school?

You know, speaking of that, yeah, I actually talked to Tony about this, but we don't have accounting classes like through the school anymore. And when my brother went, you know He's old, so 8 years before me.

So old.

I know, um, they had accounting classes, right? Way younger than your big brother.

You are.

Yep.

Um, and I think if we would have had that accounting class, I think I maybe would have figured out I like accounting before a year into school.

That's interesting. Yeah, and again, it's whenever we have these conversations, I, I'm not necessarily saying the school shouldn't have or did something wrong or anything. I think it's simply a matter of how do we get our youth engaged, involved? And I think you're talking about getting connected to the thing you might wanna do and figuring that out sooner. That's super valuable because as we all know, college is expensive. Yes. It's really expensive. And if we can give you opportunities to test some of those things out earlier, that's good for everybody.

Mm-hmm. I'm also though a big proponent of not going so fast through high school. I think there's a huge push right now. Let's take as many college classes online as we can. Yeah. And I'm a total pusher for just slow down.

Yeah.

Just slow down, enjoy it. Because if you go into college, and this is for all the high school juniors, sophomores, seniors right now, if you go into college taking the 300-level classes for juniors It's going to be really hard. It's going to be really hard.

It's going to be like crazy, super intense immediately.

Immediately, because they are way different in person.

And then you almost, you almost don't even get a chance to explore college.

Exactly.

Like you didn't enjoy high school and you don't really get a real college experience either. I think that's great advice. Sorry. Yeah, we can even just say that. So again, this is, this is what summer is like. Kids just walk by and show me notes. Through the door. That's love it all summer long.

JC, I always used to call my mom at Napa and say, can you put Jonda on the phone? Like in the middle of the day to ask her any, any old thing.

Yeah.

Probably if I could go ride my bike outside, you know?

Right. I know. I'm literally, we literally are the social director of all of our children all summer. It's all good. I, uh, I loved having your perspective.

Thank you. I loved being on. It was fun.

I, you're, you've always been an impressive young lady. There's no question about that. Um, and I do hope that we get to have you back, you know, but I also don't ever want that to feel like pressure. I just want you to know that you're— you will be welcome back with open arms if that ever happens.

Thank you. Well, you've been a huge mentor in my life. Everywhere I go, it's always, well, do you know Rebecca Undum? And I'm like, let me get this started.

Let me tell you, let me tell you who she is. Yeah, it's so fun. Well, and I— this is my opportunity to shout out your parents. Um, we talked about them a little bit, but Jerry and John DePraska of Praska's Hardware Hank in Oakes, North Dakota. Um, Jerry is— and your mom too, like, but Jerry in, in the business, like you talked about. Um, we have called Jerry on, you know, after hours. We had a sump pump that failed once, like that kind of thing, right, where You just know that he's gonna go up to the store and do, and he just does that. He does that for anybody that asks.

Yeah. They're amazing.

They are.

I'm obviously biased, but they're amazing people and they've been great mentors. And I think also, I didn't really hit on this, but growing up as a young girl in a hardware store has its challenges.

Yeah. Well, you have like a coffee crowd that hangs out there.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And that is an interesting education for a young girl.

It is. You learn a lot. You correct them a lot. You say, hey, I don't think we should be saying that right now.

I kind of love that you play that role for them.

I do. I, I am. And I told them I was gonna shout them out on here for all— everything they taught me about Oaks North, about North Dakota.

Yeah, well, that's just it. If you want to know what's happening in your town, go hang out wherever the coffee crowd hangs out.

And I think there's like 6 around town.

There are, we have a lot of them. Yeah, your family just has one that shows up there. But yeah, what an education for you.

Yeah, but to get back to real, I think my mom really did instill in me that work ethic because she's also worked auto parts, hardworking her whole life, and then the store. And she's really showed me how to handle that diversity. And sometimes it's hard to swallow that people don't always want help from a girl. Mm-hmm. But you just have to be willing to give it to 'em. And I think that's had a lot of confidence, put a lot of confidence in me as well as they might not want my help, but I can do my best to still give it to them. And if people don't want it, then they don't want it and I can't do anything about that.

Right. Yeah. I know that is, it's, it is an unusual, you've had a really cool experience. Like it has, it, there's no way that that hasn't shaped you. Right. Yeah.

But my dad is also a huge proponent of just being confident and he's helped me all the way. And sometimes he'll say, I need to talk to Jerry. And he'll be like, no, JC can help you. Like he's really helped me with being confident and being an advocate for me too.

It's, I have to just say this too, your parents, because I know them, you know, pretty, pretty well. They, they're, you're talking about all the confidence that they've given you and they're remarkably humble people.

Mm-hmm.

So I just, it's really important for me to make sure that everybody that doesn't know them, um, hears that, that their, uh, their goodness is where that confidence comes from, not their— they don't have egos. No, they're very, very humble.

Yeah, they— I don't think they even realize how much they've helped in the community. I don't even think they like realize how much they've done because it's just—

I doubt it— just their nature to do it. It's just who they are.

Especially with my mom, like she's ran, ran our food pantry for as long as I can remember. Yep. And it's just, just normal for her.

Yep. Yeah, it's special. That's why your perspective matters to me a lot. I mean, ever, ever again, I think we can learn something from everybody, but when I think about, um, who would be really fun to have come back, somebody like you is exactly what we want. And we want you to stay in North Dakota. And I think too, I love that you started with this conversation of, or this idea that like, does it mean I'm settling?

Right.

Or am I somehow giving something up? And I think we just need to continue to showcase what a rich, full, and meaningful life is available to people in small communities like ours.

And safe.

I think that's a huge, huge deal.

I feel like I've said huge a lot.

That's okay.

But we're in small towns.

Should we go back and talk? We have such huge, we'll go back and count the huges. I don't know. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna tell you this one thing, um, that I've shared with people, and I would love you just to like, you can say, yeah, that's totally it, or no, it's not. But I feel like for me as a parent now, for me, what I realize with the kids is it's not just that they're safe, like, and that's a, that's almost a given, which is crazy. Mm-hmm. Because it's really not a given everywhere. But when, so when we, when we're out in our neighborhood and we're I don't know, 10, 12-something blocks from the pool. I don't know. I don't know how far it is. Right. But it's a decent bike ride. And as on the major highway, on a major hi— on Highway 1, right? That goes right through the middle of town. Um, as my kids had gotten to a certain age and I'd be like, yes, you know, you can bike and you can go as long as you're with this person. You know, there was like kind of layered rules as they went. It wasn't just that I was like, oh, they're safe enough. They're also for that 10 or 12 blocks. They're responsible for themselves.

Yes.

So there's like an agency that they're building, right? Like, I'm not hovering over there ever. I'm not literally like, okay, watch out, oh, watch out, oh, oh, you know? And I know, I remember one summer.

Yeah.

You called, like, you guys had to call me and be like, I think, was it Brindley?

It was Brindley. She rode her bike, didn't look, and we were there and we literally, we yelled at her. From the car, but she's someone you love and you have to watch out for them.

Totally. But so that's, and that's scary. And yet that's what happened. And it happened because we're here. Right. And do you think now she stops and looks? Of course she does. Right.

We scared her.

I mean, I know I was so, and I was so thankful for it. And when I got that call, your dad called and he like, could, he was like, I really hate to make this phone call. And I just went, oh man, who, what did they do? Mm-hmm. And he was like, no, no, they didn't do anything wrong, but it was just and I mean, he was sick about it. Mm-hmm. And I just think that's so— there's such value to that, that the kids are kind of having to do a little bit of problem solving and a little bit of figuring things out, even if it seems like, well, it's just a bike ride. Right. But that's agency, right? And that's how we create confident, strong kids. Mm-hmm. That know themselves and, you know, know how to take care of things. It's just really a cool thing. We get to do.

Just being surrounded by family. I think that's, it's really important. It's huge.

It is so huge. But it is, it's, it's so great. And again, I think what's cool is in our community, a lot of people feel like family. There are a lot of people that look out for, for our kids. And I, I, I'm, I'm sure you felt that way too. A lot of people looked out for you. So as hard as it can be, Andrew, our oldest, has said said to me, it just feels like I'm under a microscope. And I said, well, you kind of are, you know. And I said, I know that can be hard. We also always have to see the positive side of it too, um, and, and just recognize that sometimes that— so it's like when that starts to get overwhelming, then we leave town, right? Or we go, we go do something and we get out for a little bit, right? There are ways through that.

But it's amazing to have a whole village because everyone's your parents here. Everyone is going to tell you if you need to. The teachers— you grow up knowing every teacher in the school.

Absolutely.

They're always looking out for you. And I think, I don't know, I think it's true to say like you're under a microscope, but it's not a bad thing per se.

Right, right. It's kind of just recognizing the good and, and take, take the hard parts with it and recognize all the positive ways that it shapes you. So Thank you. Thank you for— and now what's so special to me is like, no kidding, Carter job shadowed with you this summer.

So fun.

And he comes back and he talks about you and it's so special. I'm just like, oh, it's Jaycee. You know, like, I remember when you were born and I watched you grow up and it's— I use the word special a lot. So if you say huge a lot, I say special a lot. But it is. And the older I get, the more special it all kind of becomes.

And I think that also draws me back to what really pulls people back into the small town. And I think it is family.

Mm-hmm.

It's so special. It was so special getting to grow up with my family in the hardware store. I came back for the summer and it's not, I was seeing them just at night after work. I'm working with them every day.

Mm-hmm.

We're together all the time.

Mm-hmm.

And I think that's a huge pull to come back. I know my boyfriend too, he already has nieces and nephews and love them to death.

Right. Right.

And that is such a pull to come back here.

Yeah, it is. It's, uh, it's really, really great. And you, you, my dear, it's been 48 whole minutes we've been talking.

So, and Grandma Jeannie and Tom have to come back for that, right?

I know.

I know. It is. It's really, really fun. And we're all just so proud of you. And we're never gonna not be. That's just it. And I'll just say this for the record. It's on the record, like for real. Okay. Even if you don't come back, We're still going to cheer really, really—

I still love North Dakota.

We will still cheer really, really loud for you. But thanks for sharing your perspective. We definitely all need to hear it.

Thank you.

Love you, Jaycee.

Love you.

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