The Art of Reinvention

Hello, welcome to Inside Scoop. I'm Paula Rizzo. Today we're talking all about reinvention. How can you reinvent yourself? Do you want to reinvent yourself? And what does that mean? Are you bold enough to do it? We're going to talk all about that today because, you know, new year, new you, it gets thrown around a lot, but it's time to really think about it. And I have a fabulous guest who I'm going to bring on in just a minute who will walk us through what this means and how to do it. But first, I have a little freebie for you that I think will help as you're thinking through your priorities for the new year. If you go to paularizzo.com/list, you can check out my list-making starter kit, which will help you to put yourself at the top of your list, which is very important. I'm also a LinkedIn Learning instructor and I have a whole bunch of courses, one that is all about effective note-taking and how to make sure that you're more organized. I have a a few also on list making, of course, and boundaries and how to protect your time. Now, that's very important when you're trying to help yourself, right, and do something new. You need to protect your time and be able to work on your own. Otherwise, you're doing everything for everybody else and you don't get to your own stuff. So we don't want that to happen. So you can check out all of those courses on LinkedIn. And I hope you enjoy those. And I want to hear from you throughout the broadcast. So please make sure to leave your questions below. And if you have anybody that you're thinking of, as we're talking about reinvention, as we're talking about being bold and stepping out of your comfort zone, that might be like, you know what, I want to do that, tag them, tag them below and let's get them in on this conversation too. We want to make sure to share this as much as possible so as many people as possible can, can get some value out of it. So without further ado, I'm going to bring on my fabulous guest and friend. Here she is, Tamsen Fadal. You are an author, a journalist, Podcaster, all of the above. Thank you for being here. What's that? A list maker. A list maker. That is right. That has been part of our reconnection tour, the two of us talking about lists.

Hasn't it been? I'll tell you what, and I love it. Every time I go to make one, I'm like, Paula, Paula would be proud of this new paper I have. She would love this new app I found. It's real.

Totally. Totally. Well, let's talk about reinvention. This is something that you have been thinking about for a long time, talking about, writing about. Why is it so important? What do you think that's, that's getting people excited about it?

You know, uh, it's funny, I, I started talking about this and I talked about this with you, uh, a few years ago. I just kept hearing stories of people that would, uh, be in one place— I'm a lawyer— and all of a sudden they started a chocolate company, or I'm a yoga instructor and all of a sudden I want to go back to school and be a nutritionist. And I was getting intrigued by people that were doing that. And that— this was before the pandemic, actually. The pandemic hit and all of a sudden there was the need to do that, right? So I was— I have a Broadway show that I interview guests for, and I was hearing about, you know, stars that weren't able to perform, people behind the scenes that couldn't get into a theater anymore because the pandemic shut it down. And they were doing things like starting a makeup company or a candle line. And I just really became intrigued with their stories because there's something about perseverance, and there's something about— it's okay to be afraid, but to be bold and move through that door and be able to get to the other side, I think, fascinates me.

Yeah, it's like the second act or the third act in, in many instances, you know. I mean, I myself know, you know, I was a journalist for a very long time, still am, but worked in TV news for a long time, left TV news to become an author and, you know, do these other things. And people are always so intrigued with how did you do it, how did you get the courage to jump out and to do it. So let's talk about that a little bit because, you know, we all get set in our ways, we all get used to our routines, but What is it that has to happen for you to get to that other side, or at least start thinking about it?

Yeah, you know, I think that getting unstuck is really, really difficult. And if 3 decades in journalism has taught me anything, you have to keep moving forward, right? You know that. You're not going to get to the next story, the next interview, the next person. It's about time management. But, you know, for me to get unstuck— and I had to do this. I went through a very public divorce. I became an I instead of a we. And then I turned 50 years old. And, you know, life changes when you kind of intersect all of those times. And I realized that the only way that I could get unstuck is if I decluttered everything that was around me. And it was really— it had to start with my mind because there was no way to get unstuck without doing that. So I have a book on my desk. It's, it's kind of my list book, but it's a little messier than a list. But I really write down everything in my head and do a brain dump because that's the only way that I can do it. And I do it in blocks of time. So my schedule is pretty rigid because I work starting at 2 o'clock every day until 11 o'clock at night. So that is work. But I really block out time time now every single day so I can declutter my head a little bit and then prioritize what's the most important thing. Because without order, you're not going to get anywhere.

Yeah, it's so true. And the, the list, of course, coming back to the list, the power of the list. I love it. It works. It really does. Because then it gets stuck in your mind and it's too hard to, to think of. But you're right, when you put it down and you actually see it, then you can evaluate it differently. Then you can say, hey, this is actually not a priority, but it's something that's been taking up space here and I can let it go. I don't, I don't need to deal with that right now. Um, what about goal setting and being realistic about goals? Because this is something that, you know, I hear a lot of people will make these bucket lists and these life lists and all of these, you know, I wish I could do this. And then by the time they're 40 or 50, they don't do that thing and they just feel like a failure.

Or I think even the bigger problem is moving through and getting to that goal but not being honest with yourself about what you're working for. And, you know, I found that several times I'll be moving in a direction of what I think I should be doing, what I think I want to be doing, and it's not really where I want to be. And so I think you really have to be honest with your goals and what it is that you want the end. Because sometimes we find ourselves working toward that only to realize that that wasn't the end game. It was some pressure we put upon ourselves or some whim because our minds were not decluttered and having a little bit of clarity of where we wanted to be. And I've done it before myself. I was working on my next book and I was in the process of going in one direction. The pandemic shifted just my thoughts, my viewpoints, and I went in another. And I had to stop and I said, wait a minute, where do I want to be in a year from now? Do I want to be on a book tour? Do I want to be still writing? Do I want to be figuring out Is that what I want, or do I want to be doing something totally different? So I think you have to really be, uh, honest with this and, and not be, I hope, maybe, I wish. I think you really have to be honest with yourself. And I'll tell you what, the scariest thing is stopping. The scariest thing is stop— you know, we always said, everyone, just start, just start. And it's great to just start. The scariest thing is to stop. The scariest thing is to stop and really think about and assess what you want.

Yeah, it's a good point because we get locked in and we say, well, but I've already put in effort, I've already started this, I already went down this path, and now all of a sudden I'm going to stop and something else, people are going to think that I don't follow through. I'm going to think I don't follow through, you know. But sometimes it is, you know, to your point, totally fine to just cross that off the list and be like, you know what, I'm never going to learn how to speak Italian. And that's totally fine, no big deal, I'm over it. There will be a thousand other things that I'm excited about doing, you know.

Um, well, that's the thing, just that focus is so important, you know. We are so— so many things are coming at us all the time, right? And it's really hard to focus. And that is so key. 20 years ago it was easy to focus. We didn't have 5,000 emails coming at us and, you know, and every social media site you could imagine, along with dancing and doing TikToks and trying to be creative. There was no such thing as— that I know of— as an influencer at that time. So I think that things have changed, and figuring out your focus is important if you want to reinvent or you want to transition and doing something else. I always worry reinvention says, hey, I didn't do it right the first time, but I don't think that that's it. I really think it's taking it, moving it into the next place, and bringing the best parts of yourself there.

Yeah, and that, that's a good point. It's, it's taking what you've already accomplished, what you already know, what you've already done, and looking back and saying, you know what, I, I climbed a mountain before to get where I am, to be able to be successful to this point. Now I'm looking up to something else. I'm going to take all of that with me and use it. And, you know, all the people that you know, now they're going to know you for a different reason, and that's fine. People will go along for the ride with you if they're truly, you know, your friends. And truly support you. Yeah. What about being bold, right? You talk a lot about living boldly and being bold, and that scares a lot of people. I know you have a freebie on your website. So tell me, tell me about it, because I know we want people to be able to do it.

Yeah. You know, I think that there are two things. A lot of people say have no fear. I don't think that that's possible. I don't think it's possible. We're human beings. We have fear. Things are scary. Things are uncertain. Things are not familiar. So, you know, the first thing I think you have to do is stop comparing yourself. Because you get nowhere. You just get stuck, you're stuck in the mud. There's room for everybody out there. So I think you have to stop comparing yourself in order to give yourself a little bit of strength. And then when it comes to being bold, and what I've found, whether I've transitioned out of a divorce, whether I went into becoming an author, whether I moved through a different period of my life into what I want— talking about this, this isn't a space that I ever thought I could talk about. I've been a journalist my whole life, you know. You, you did the same thing, but you, you had to be bold and kind of move through that little keyhole and say, you know, I think I can. And that comes with little steps. And I found that for me anyway, every 90 days or so, I feel like I've moved into a different area. So I write those things down. I write down my accomplishments. So not only am I looking forward, but I'm looking back at what those achievements are. And when you start building those blocks on top of each other, I think you can unlock that bold part of you. I don't think it's something we have to find. I think it's something that we have. We had it when we were young, right? We had that jump without nets thing when we were young. We, we didn't fear anything. But I think as we get older, you know, we get, we get a few hard knocks, so it's a little bit harder. So you have to kind of build upon your successes.

And I, I love the idea of creating a done list. What have I done in the past 90 days? Because you do overlook that. It's just you go into your regular robotic mode and you do what you do, and you don't praise yourself or say, hey, you know what, that was actually really great, that was really exciting, I'm really glad that I did that. So creating that is a really nice reflection to do that. And you just need to do it 90 days. And, you know, it could be any amount of time, but it is important to do it.

Yeah. And I also think it's important to stop looking at what's kind of what's next all the time. I think it's— I was talking to my father about this. I lost my stepmom recently. And this is, you know, the harder example of it. But he said, I don't know, I'm not ready to do this, that, and someday. And I said, Dad, you're living your someday. Like, this is your someday. And we go around all the time saying like we have dreams of what we want to do, how we want to be, the class we're going to take, the business, how we're going to talk. Today's your someday. You're living it. We were not promised tomorrow. And it's not always easy to, to think about or to hear, but the truth is, and the older I get, as I, I hit the 50 mark and the 51 mark, you know, I found that I realized I'm living that right now. So I say to myself, not what do I want to do tomorrow, what do I want to do in my someday, which is right now. It's the next 12 hours. And, you know, that's where you think you have to get started.

And people, I mean, have we've lived through this pandemic for what, like almost 3 years now? People are really, you know, understanding and seeing you truly do not have unlimited time here. So what is it that you want to do? And, and the someday idea is great to do it now because who knows, who knows if you'll, if you'll be here, if you'll want to do that thing. Do it now. Absolutely. You know, get it going.

And it doesn't perfect. Like, that's the other— I found that out. I, you know, I guess I'm sure I know you have this, uh, you know, you want it to be good, you want it to be perfect, you want to build it all out so it's wonderful when you present it to the world. It just doesn't work like that, right? It doesn't work like that. So sometimes I think you have to let go of that perfect person to find that bold person inside of you and get to the next place. And I'll tell you what, the people that I have talked to and seen that get there, they are unstoppable. And that energy is— you can feel their energy, you can feel their confidence, and you can feel that they've found their bold. And I think that that's an exciting time. I'm calling it my bolden years.

Bolden years! I love that! That's awesome! I love it, the bolden years. I love it. Well, and you do have a freebie on your website. Let's talk about that so that people can get their bold going.

Yes. Yeah, it's 5 Steps to Unlock Your Bold, and you can pick it up right there. And it kind of just helps you navigate what's next in your your life, because I think that we're all looking for that, right? And I got the idea after doing the podcast that you've been on, Coming Up Next, and talking to so many people that share their stories of reinvention. And it got me excited about it. And I thought I would craft together something that was all the lessons in one.

I love it. Well, definitely check it out, tamsenfadal.com/bold. I want to talk timelines, because as much as we're trying to be a little easy breezy and make sure that you leave spontaneity and all that, we're journalists and we like a good timeline. We like a good list. Yeah, you do have to plan for some of this stuff that you do. So talk to me a little bit about that, the idea of, of a timeline for reinvention. What, what should you do?

Yeah, yeah, you know what, I talked about the 90 days because I think that that's achievable anyway. And I, I learned that when I went through my divorce. I, I was, uh, like, I couldn't move, you know. And I think I told you that I had to make lists for everything. I had to make lists to get up in the morning, to feed the dog in the morning, to get dressed, to get to work, uh, and just to really function. So 90 days was really important to me so I could look out a year. I I always hate the, where do you want to be in a year from now? I don't know. I don't know where I want to be tonight, you know. So, so I think that sometimes that's difficult, but 90 days felt doable to me. That's 3 months. That's a real established time to be able to get a habit started, or at least to achieve something, and then go back and look at what you've achieved, right? It's enough time. It's not unreasonable. If you say, by the end of this week I want to build my YouTube channel, by the end of this month I want to make sure I do, you know, 50 phone calls— like, those are just— that's not reasonable. And I think that it gets you discouraged and stalls you. So I think that that day timeline is, is super, super important for it. And then you, you know, you hit those benchmarks. And to your point, you know, time is a— is the only thing we have that's really of any value, right? Like, that really is the only thing that you can't get more of. You can get more of so many things, you can't get more of your time. And I have found— and I know it's a, it's a trendy word now, but time blocking— but I have carved out in my purple calendar, uh, places where I say, like, I'm not doing anything. I'm not— if I have those if I have an extra phone call, I could be locked in there. But I have found that is my creative moment to be able to work on my next, and I'm really actually enjoying it. So I look forward to my little— I call it my purple calendar because that's the color I made it. But that's what I did. So I look forward to my purple times every other day.

The free time.

Yeah, it is my free time just for you.

It's your time for you. And it's so, so important creating boundaries, right? That's something I talked a little bit about. I have a course all about how to create boundaries and how to set goals and make make sure that you have, you know, non-negotiable time that's just for you, uh, because otherwise you don't get to the things that you want to. You can make lists all day long, but if you don't give yourself that, that space, it doesn't, it doesn't actually happen.

So it's also the space, I think, to focus, you know. And you know as well as I do, you just need that moment to get it. You can't just sit down and say, I'm gonna write, you know, or I'm going to do a video, or I'm going to whatever it is, uh, whatever it is that you want to do, start a business. It doesn't work like that. You've got to sit down, be focused, be grounded in it, you know. And, um, and I think that's important. I, I found at one point I was not creating any boundaries and I was exhausted. So by the time I would go to get ready to go to work, I was drained before my day started. And I could waste 3 hours, you know, introducing somebody, doing a phone call, catching up on an email, answering something, writing something, and 4 hours would go by and I don't know where it went and nothing was accomplished. And that chisels away at everything, chisels away at your confidence, your energy levels, your balance, and most importantly, your focus.

Yeah, it's true. You're just— there's nothing left in the tank. And so it's just like, forget it, you can't be creative at all. Well, this has been awesome. Thank you for sharing all of your tips and tricks. And of course, of course, you're the prime example.

You're the model of reinvention. You really are.

Well, thank you. Thank you. It's— and you know what? I think I will say, you know, It is a thing of— it takes time. Many people see what's happening in my career now and what I'm doing with my books and what I'm doing, and they're like, "Wow, look at this." It's like, I've been doing this for 10 years in the making. You know what I mean? It doesn't just happen overnight. So I think that's a realistic thing for people to know too, that these things don't happen overnight and that's okay. You don't want them to. You want to be able to evolve and grow and change course if you need to. And that's kind of the beauty of it. And to your point, point. If you don't want to do it anymore, switch gears and do something else, and that's all right.

Yeah, we usually see people at the end, and it's really the beginning that, uh, is always the exciting part, right? Because that's where you learn your lessons, and that's where you figure out what you want.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I hope everyone goes to tamsenfadal.com/bold to check out your Bold for Rebe. And, uh, yeah, thanks for being here. To be continued, I'm sure. We'll, we'll chit-chat at another time. Uh, and thank you to everybody who's, who's been watching. Uh, appreciate it. Leave all your questions below if you have any. I will get to you in the comments for sure. And, uh, make sure you check out my LinkedIn Learning courses, uh, and also my, um, to protect your time because, you know, I want to make sure that you want to have time to do the things we're talking about. So you can check that out on LinkedIn, or you can go to my website, if you go to paularizzo.com/linkedin as well. And, uh, I will see you all next time. Thanks for being here.