Brofest 2022 - Austin, TX - Roundtable Chat

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Alright guys, welcome.

This is a—

doing a recording of us BroFest attendees, or at least 6, 7 of us here on the call. We had around 50 total guys who showed up at BroFest this year, and for those that are listening to this, don't know what the hell I'm talking about, We have a members-only group that's part of the Dad Starting Over world, and we call it the DSO, which stands for Dad Starting Over, DSO fraternity. It's a paid members group, and we get together and we have online discussions, we have live Zoom meetings, we have member-only articles, podcast. What else am I forgetting? We have, uh, the access to the Dad Starting Over books at no extra charge. We have coaching at a discount, all kinds of cool benefits. And we have over 800 dudes from around the world that join, and approximately 50 of us or so got together in Austin, Texas not too long ago. Our second ever what we call BroFest meeting. Our first was in Nashville, Tennessee. And I thought I'd get together the guys together, as many of us as we can, and to talk about it, see what we thought about the event, how to make the event better, and kind of pontificate and reflect on all things BroFest and what we thought about it. So, how best to start this? Let me think. Excuse me while I cough. I'll edit that out later. Overall impressions of BroFest. Who wants to go first? Should I call on somebody? Anybody want to raise their little paw there in the air? And say what you thought about, maybe let's start with how it compared to the first one in Nashville, Tennessee. Does anybody want to go on comparison of the two events? What you liked better?

I'll speak up.

Yes, sir.

I'll speak up. So the first one, obviously amazing. Second one, even more so amazing in my opinion. It was great to finally, I think a lot of us were yearning and had the desire to actually get together and put faces to names and actually physically see the dudes that we talked to so much online. That was a big take— that was a big thing for Brofest Nashville, I think. And especially with all the COVID lockdowns and all that sort of stuff, I think it was really good for for us to actually meet in person and develop, continue to develop those healthy male relationships. A lot of good content and everything like that and the presentation from the coaches and the content you guys put out is second to none. I mean, it's— I haven't come across anything bad yet, right?

Give it time.

And as far as Texas goes, right, it was bigger as far volume of dudes, um, got to see more faces, repeat faces, um, and, and you added some perks to, to, to the quote-unquote investment, right? Um, got some— Dr. Robert Glover was there, GS Youngblood was there, um, Jack's sister, like, there, and just tons more good content and, and value came from it, and, and able to, in just like the first year, right? Continuing to develop those relationships and actually interact in person and all that sort of stuff. I think it's overall, man, like it's a learning and growing experience for the heads of the group and for the body of the group. And it's, I don't, I, I think it's going to be a continual progression every time we do it. Yeah, I don't see why it wouldn't be.

Absolutely. Thank you for that. And, um, uh, next year is going to be Las Vegas, Nevada. Jumping right to the, uh, right to the big punchline here at the end. But that's going to be huge, and we're really looking forward to that. And going back to something you mentioned, we— yes, we did have a few special guests there. Dr. Robert Glover, for those that don't know, is the author of tremendously popular book called No More Mr. Nice Guy. I asked him how many copies of the thing he sold. He says he had no idea, but I'm— it's got to be well over a million by now. The thing is, it's over 20 years old now, and it's still way at the top of the list when you do search for those kind of books. So I mean, kudos to him, man. He wrote something that's just a monster. And for us to have a guy like that in our second ever meeting— he traveled all the way from Mexico, he had to fly up to Seattle, from Seattle took a red-eye down to see us. That was pretty huge. And then G.S. Youngblood, who's the author of Masculine and Relationship, another huge, huge book in this sphere. So we had two of the big shots in this, in this world of ours, the man relationship talk world, and we got them to take time out of their busy lives to come see us and hang out with us for the weekend. So that was awesome. And then we had Christie Vaccaro, who's a fitness expert out of Las Vegas, Nevada, and the sister of Jack London, one of our coaches, part of our DSO team, and she was awesome and brought that much-needed physical fitness component, which we're going to keep going with future BroFests, somehow integrate that because that's a huge part of what we do and part of the DSO world. And the Dead Bedroom Fix book, it held chapter 1 about what to do right was go to the gym. So it's a huge part of what we do. And so looking forward to seeing who and what we can bring to Las Vegas. And I did get a verbal from both Dr. Glover and GS, that they both want to come. It's a little early to say for sure they're going to be there and what time they'll be there, but they both cleared it on their calendar, and if nothing happens, they both hope to be there. So that'd be pretty cool. And let's see if maybe we can get somebody else there. Um, one, uh, piece of, uh, criticism I got from some folks, which is— if this is the criticism we get, this is— I mean, I can't complain— was, um let's split it up more and have more time with the coaches talking and giving more stuff and more presentations. So next time it'll probably be something like, uh, myself or the coaches opening up, um, special guest, back to the coach, another special guest, back to the coach type of thing, staggering it. And we're gonna have an extra day in there, so that's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be, um, 3 days, 4 nights, or is it 4 days, 3 nights? Um, an extra day in there on top of what we did this last time. And so that opens up to a lot of possibilities, a lot of different things we can do. And to grow this organization, we can't necessarily just stay in our little shell. We're gonna have to collaborate with other experts out there. Let me let David into the meeting here. We have to collaborate, and they bring, they bring their, their wealth of knowledge to the plate, to the table, and You could just do nothing but help us, help us grow as a group. I think it's going to be huge. Um, David, welcome to the, to the meeting. We were just talking about, uh, the last BroFest. Kyle was kind enough to give us a nice overview of what he thought, and we're talking about what's coming for Las Vegas, which is in February 2023. So if you're listening to this and you're just interested in joining us, you can go to the website, scroll down and click on the, the graphic for it, and learn all about, uh Brofest. And, um, yes. And who was that? I'm sorry, was that David?

Yeah, yeah, I was just saying thanks. Uh, might be a bit of a trip for me.

Might be a bit of a trip for you. With that accent, I'm gonna guess you're from Alabama. Close, real close, real close. Welcome, welcome. We'll be— one day we'll head to see you guys. Um, I've been hit, hit on a lot, or hit up a lot for, can we do, uh, something in the UK? Because we got a guy, a lot of guys in the UK. So maybe one day we will. We will see as time and money allows. Putting on these events is not cheap. Um, we are covering the, uh, part of your cost of getting into these is that we cover the hotel, all the meals, the drinks during your meals. If there's any cost involved with the guests, that covers that. All that fun stuff. So everything's covered. There's no extra little gotchas unless you go out on your own and do drinking at night and stuff. Then yes, you're on your own. Um, but we also have a reception. I forgot to mention that. So we'll do that again, another reception in, uh, Las Vegas. Um, anybody else have anything to share? Any, any thoughts about what you thought, good and bad? I see, uh, Chuck next.

Yeah, so it was kind of interesting, like Nashville, as we had talked about, after Nashville was sort of like this awkwardness of getting 30-some guys together. It could be weird, it could be fun, it could be who knows what. So, um, but it was awesome meeting everyone in Nashville. The cool thing about, uh, Texas was it was almost like a homecoming. Like, when you walk through the room, it's like excited, uh, walk up, give guys hugs. Or like Nashville was, like I said, it was not awkward, but it was just like you'd never met these people before. But coming back to Texas, it was really, like I said, a homecoming of of really getting to see some people, what I consider very good friends or even family at this point. A lot of these guys are family to me. So that was kind of the interesting thing is just meeting people in person, seeing them, not just seeing their little circle of a face on Facebook, that little dot that you get to see. So that was the really big thing. Like I said, it literally is becoming like a big family, a group of guys, like I said, a true fraternity to really get together to know people, to really get to know people, not just chat here and there on stuff and really get into deeper conversations with people. I was talking business with people and relationship stuff and you name it. I mean, it came up in Texas and in Nashville. We talked about literally everything as far as life goes. So that's the cool part is just getting into those deeper conversations that you don't generally have in your day-to-day with a lot of people.

Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, it was, um, uh, that was a feedback we got from Nashville was when people showed up for the first time, it was like, uh, all right, what do we do? Where do we go? I don't know. It wasn't very, uh, well organized. It was just kind of like, see you there, and we're going out to eat at this time. So if you show up before that time, whatever, we'll just all get together, do whatever, and we're going out to eat at 6 o'clock at this place. So this time it was reception, you have a place to go to, there's an open bar, and it's from this hour to this hour, and then we'll have an hour break, and then we'll all go out to dinner together. And I think that helped ease some of that little anxiety of the hell am I supposed to do. Plus a lot of us had already seen each other before, so you're right, kind of like, hey, it's Chuck, cool, we haven't seen you in a while. Um, and that's just going to get better and better. And I love the idea of guys networking together, making a true fraternity out of this. And guys, you know, in California helping out his brother on the East Coast with something. It doesn't necessarily have to be DSO related. What if it's some kind of business related or some kind of personal development related thing? Just seeing this grow and grow, just— it does, it feels really good to see all the good that we're doing for a lot of different guys. And I had a couple of hands go up here. I don't know if you want me to use your real name or not. S in the car, if you would like to go ahead.

That's fine, you can use my real name, not a problem. Okay, go ahead and pronounce it excellently.

Shacham!

There we go! So actually, I had two things, but Charles already stole my thunder with the first one, but he confirmed what I was thinking, speaking for the group, that It was obviously a different experience coming and meeting the guys again in Austin versus the first time in Nashville, whereas before we kind of don't know what everyone thinks. And then, you know, now we kind of rejoin his friends. But the second thing for me, and I'm betting it was similar for a lot of the guys, is maybe we didn't nail down with a coach yet who kind of fit us. And we speak to different ones online, but, you know, you don't really get a feel for the personality until you meet somebody. And for me, I kind of ended up speaking at quite a lot of length in Nashville to Scott Morales. And then so I kind of did some coaching sessions with him. And now this time, it was funny. I expected to sit and talk with him for hours again like we did last time, but I think I spoke to him for 10, 15 minutes tops the whole weekend and ended up spending a lot more time actually with a couple of the other coaches. In fact, I flew in with both Austin and Scotty G. So that was a really unique experience for me. But I wonder if any of the other guys kind of had a little bit more different, you know, A to B comparison on who they hung out with as far as, you know, interacting with coaches.

Yeah, that's interesting.

Cool.

Yeah, open that up to anybody else have a similar circumstance where you're able to spend some time with person A and then jump over to person B. And Scott M., Scott Morales, you have your hand up.

Well, first of all, I wanted to talk about my observation, the delta between Nashville and Austin and being on the the stage side of it, I get a different point of view than a lot of you guys. Um, I didn't get a chance to interact with everybody one-on-one as intimately as I did in Nashville because we had a larger group. I will admit that the guest speakers also, uh, gave us less time to do that one-on-one interaction, which I think is the one of the more valuable things we get away from it. What I noticed was The fact that the people I met in Nashville were not the same people I met in Austin. The growth, especially for the guys that were just joining the fraternity, taking the risk and going to Bro Fest, uh, Nashville, the ones that were there by happenstance and by fate for some other reason that managed to get there, the changes that were, were evident was absolutely amazing. I mean, everything from posture to, to— stutters went away, to— I mean, it was just amazing. These, these were not the same guys, and I was absolutely floored because everything I knew about them in Nashville is the way I've been thinking about them for the whole year. Meeting them again allowed me to do a reset and really get an idea of where people had moved in their progression, for the ones that I haven't had a chance to have a one-on-one face-to-face conversation with. And That, that honestly, that refilled my cup, so to say. Um, I walked away with an inflated heart for— I mean, I'm still running on that. Just seeing everybody's growth across the board was amazing. I didn't see one person that had fallen backwards. That's one of the biggest observations that I saw.

Good point, good point. Yeah, you know, you wonder how much of that is, um the natural progression of the months between the two BroFest events and how much of that is just a natural reduction of social anxiety over, oh, I know these guys, I've met these guys before. You know, we have some anxious guys that have a difficult time in those social interactions and seeing, you know, kind of deer in the headlights of, oh, I just walked into a whole new room of people I don't know. As soon as you get to know them and spend a weekend with them and then see them a few months later, you're like, All right, it's not so bad now. But you're right, we do have some guys, uh, Shahram for example, who has done a lot in his own personal development and has shared that a great deal. And I think for him, um, uh, Nashville— or excuse me, Austin— was a big, uh, turning point for him, just kind of a light switch click moment. And, um, I think he took to heart some of the things I said at the beginning of the event where I gave a little quick speech about Life gives you all kinds of little opportunities, sometimes on a silver platter of, here you go, do something with it, dude. And I hate for us to spend all that time and money to go all the way to Austin, Texas, just to see all that opportunity and all those resources at hand, and just to walk away from it and say, yeah, I'm not gonna really do much with that, just like I've not really done much with everything else. But, uh, Shahram, for example, took that on and said, uh, well, now that I'm here with these guys, there's something to learn. And hey, I've learned it and I'm going to use it. That's it. That's everything right there. So he's the perfect example, the perfect microcosm of taking, learning, and doing something with it. And it's only been a relatively short amount of time, and we can all attest to, uh, what a change.

Jesus.

So, uh we can all learn something from them in that regard. Does anybody— if Sharm, I don't know if you want to comment on that, or does anybody else have something similar to comment on where they took something from it and did something with it?

No, I can comment on that because I can— what you're saying is spot on, uh, just from your observations of me. But actually, even before getting to the second Brofest, I kind of had this thought in my mind, man, I don't want to go there and just show up just for a party and have fun. That's great, that's not what I'm doing this for. And I bet you a lot of the guys who have been considering going to one of these events might think of that too. They're like, well, I'll go there, it'll be fun, I'll go home, I won't feel like that. I thought that possibly might be my thought process even through the weekend, but by the time I was done, everything I witnessed and everything I had done, I kind of— I'm not going to go into it here because I made posts on the group, but you know, I kind of was a little bit energized and also having a little pissed off at myself saying, hey, come on, like you're saying, do something with this. You got information, you've been shown something, you know, you can do it too. And that's how I learned, it's been going out and doing it and just doing what's uncomfortable. Like Scott Moroz told me in Nashville.

Do you want to share with the audience listening to this exactly what that was for you? What was that thing that you needed to work on that you did something with?

Well, for me, like we were talking about, you know, social anxiety, it depends on what day of the week you catch me if I'm socially anxious or not. But Like, for example, at the airport, I had the fortune of riding with Scotty G and Austin and watching their interactions and how comfortable they are just talking to strangers, men and women. It's not like, like Scotty says, it's not all about a pickup game. And, you know, I'm watching and thinking, he does it so easily. At first, honestly, when I listened to him, I thought, oh, they're gonna think he's a weirdo, because that was just me projecting. But no, that was not the case at all. You know, they were very receptive to everything he was saying, and. And I was just kind of hanging back because honestly, I was feeling anxious. So I was just kind of giving him space, but I was listening very carefully. And that kind of was the moment to me, along with speaking to— later on, we spoke to a gentleman, me and Austin, and that was— it was a moment for me to kind of say, see, this, this is— this can be done. I can get over this. So I've been working on that ever since we've left. And actually, it's been a night and day difference.

Excellent. That's awesome. And can you imagine the difference we're going to see the next time you come around? Because you have already signed up for Vegas. Thank you for that, by the way.

I'm scared. I don't know what to do.

This is awesome. Uh, Playboy Shahram shows up, we're like, who the hell is this guy? Look out, look out, look out, man. Yeah, that's awesome. Um, Scotty G, I don't know if you're able to— if you're able to talk or share anything there. You are literally on an exercise bike at the gym right now, so I don't know if you want to look like a weirdo talking to yourself, but go right ahead.

Doesn't matter to me. Shreem just went over that.

I don't care.

Um, hopefully don't have too much background noise here.

No, you're good.

But, uh, so yeah, we were going through the airport with Shreem, and Austin was with us, and I did turn on the charm a little bit more than I normally do just to show him exactly how to do it. So it's one of those things that it's very difficult to explain, but it's so easy to show. So it's a difficult thing, but that's, that's the beauty part about broadcast, man. Like, it's all practical, you know. So anyway, I'm gonna catch my breath here. Anyway, um, so I just want to go ahead and talk about a couple things that are different for me personally. Um, Nashville was different for me because I just became a coach, like about a month before that one. So I wouldn't say I was ill-prepared for it, but it was, it was just a different feel because I wasn't actually doing coaching sessions at that point. Um, did a presentation, you know, I was involved with a lot of the one-on-ones, but Austin was totally different for me. Um, holy cow. I think I should probably count it how many times I have conversations with guys in Vegas. It had to be over a century. It had to be over 100 conversations with guys.

I mean, Austin. We haven't been to Vegas.

Oh, in Austin. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

In Austin. But Nashville was different because I had a lot more like one-on-one with people. They were kind of feeling me out. They weren't really— I wasn't really doing a lot of meetings at that point. So I had a lot more clout when I went to Austin. And the amazing part for me for Austin was the fact that half the guys that were there were guys I had coaching sessions already with, and I knew them really well. They knew me really well, and that was a huge difference. And I don't know about you, Ralph Brewer, but coming out of Austin, I was a little bit, uh, I was a little tired, you know, and, uh, I wouldn't say emotionally exhausted, but it was, it was, it was difficult, you know, because, uh, it's very difficult to have any downtime. And, uh, with these guys, it's just awesome to see these guys. Like, like I said, I mean, it was really like, like Chuck Brewer was saying It was more of like a catch-up, you know, um, how you been, you know, um, how's it been since Nashville, you know, it's been 6 months and you could really see the difference in these guys. And I mean, I was complimenting them left and right, you know, some guys had other things they were working on, you know, they already got the physical journey down, um, now they're working on the emotional side, which is way harder for guys. I mean, some guys just, just, just can't do it, you know. Um, Seram, you've come a long ways, man. I remember your first First post in the group, man, they were like 8 pages long, you know, no paragraphs, very difficult to read, you know. Now they're like, uh, just like about a page and, you know, and really working on things, actually really focusing on stuff. And, oh, you know, flying with them and walking through that airport was just— it was, it was an honor. It was a pleasure to really teach guys, you know, stuff that just comes naturally to me and, and show them you know, and I'd love to incorporate something like that in our next Pro Fest where it's like a, almost like a workshop. But it's very difficult to do that because it has to be natural, you know, it has to be like a, like a, like an evolving thing, you know. You can't pay somebody to show up and say, hey, you know, let's, let's do this. Like, it has to be, you know, from the cuff.

And so maybe we should have, uh, maybe one of the sessions should be like a breakout field or what do you call it, field trip, like walking down to one of the casinos. Who wants to go and just hang out and just— let's just go schmooze with people for an hour?

Yeah, like a group of like 4 guys, that would be about right. So any more than that, you're gonna— you're gonna gather a crowd, you know. Um, but like 2 or 3 guys would be excellent. I mean, we could just do it little by little, you know, just 5-minute little sessions, um, and just kind of walk around. And, uh, it would be great.

It would be—

that would be really awesome to do, actually.

Yeah, well, um, we have no— we have a long enough weekend, a lot of hours to work with. We can do something like that. So thankfully we've incorporated an extra day, so that's gonna be pretty cool.

Yep, we're getting better at it too, man. Yeah, um, it's one of those things where we've got one, actually two, under our belt now, and we know what to expect. And you know, we've talked about it that, so we probably need to get together more as coaches because we barely— I barely got to talk to you.

Yeah, we're gonna— Ralph, yeah, I mean, we're gonna roll in I think a day early, just us coach group, and hang out just to talk and powwow and get our heads right for this. Because that was one thing from our side that I didn't like too much, was I show up and then this guy shows up 8 hours later, and then this guy shows up the next day, and then, you know, it's just kind of too sporadic. So we need to be more of a team front, all of us there and ready and waiting for the guys to show up. Which you brought up a good point with the, um, uh, it's like we were meeting up with old buddies this time, so that social anxiety was down. What we need to make sure of though is that we don't become too cliquish into— this is the old boy network that we've been to already, a couple of these, and then here comes some new dude walking in and we all give them the 'who the hell is this' look. We need to make sure we're welcoming and we're open and we have— and that's something I'm going to do this next time, is that the reception part be probably more organized and more, more announcements from us, little talks from us just to break things up and make sure everybody's on the same page. This is what we're doing, everybody's clear with everything, so No one's anxious about what am I supposed to do next, instead of just, you know, 4 hours of just schmoozing. Schmoozing is important, but I got feedback from some guys is like, still anxious about, I don't know quite what to do here during the schmooze portion of this. I thought there was going to be more organization here and more telling me exactly where to go, what to do, who to talk to, and everything else. So we will help, and that will help our brand new guys because we're going to have new guys at this thing. You've— we need to welcome them with open arms. And show them that there's nothing to be nervous about. We're a welcoming, loving group of adorable, cuddly dudes here to help you out.

Anybody else?

Pat, we haven't heard from you yet, buddy. What are you thinking? I assume you're able to talk here.

Yeah, I think it was— I mean, overall it was good, right? I came in, I didn't make Nashville, so this is the first one. So, and I think, you know, overall it went well, really good in my opinion.

Very good. Is there anything in particular you liked best out of all of it?

Not one thing. I mean, and I think a lot of the Nashville guys said it, you know, when they came back, was, you know, I was hoping to get more out of it and get time with the coaches and talk to the coaches and learn more from y'all, learn from, learn from the guests and all that, which was great. Even if all that had fallen flat, right, it'd just been the guys getting together, getting together with everybody who I've been talking to for Right at a— online, you know, was a huge deal for me to begin with on that first, you know, being that first time to it, right?

Yeah.

You know, you've been in virtual space with these guys, actually meeting them in meat space and interacting was a big deal because now I can— it's not putting a face, I see, you know, most of them in video, but, you know, actually shaking hands and being in the same space as somebody in virtual space was a big deal.

Yeah, there's that little weird, uh, moment of, oh look, it's the little two-dimensional guy in real life 3D form. It's a little odd at first, but it takes some getting used to putting a voice and a face to it. Well, a lot of you guys have heard and seen each other on the live Zoom meetings. Again, for those, uh, listening to this for the first time and this is your first intro to the DSO fraternity, we do have live meetings several times a week now where we all get together on Zoom and talk to each other about a variety of different topics. Our coaches put on these meetings and organize them, and we record them for everybody to hear. And we have well over 300 hours of meetings recorded. It's getting a little overwhelming now. I need to figure out a way of categorizing these and organizing them and cataloging them better. It's getting a little silly. So what else to chat about before we wrap this up? Um, I thought it was an overall awesome experience. I'm really looking forward to Las Vegas. We're getting a little better each time. A little bit more organized, a little bit more professional. One thing I've heard from everybody was we need to do better on the old breakfast. Message received. We'll do better on the breakfast bar. Seems kind of silly, but that was the first thing that came up for everybody when I asked, give me a negative. Like, yeah, breakfast was a little lacking. We— for those not there, we had yogurt, fruit, pastry, that kind of stuff. May sound good to a lot of you listening to this, but for your more fitness-oriented dudes who want some eggs and some meat, protein, you know, that kind of thing first thing in the morning. It was a bit of a letdown, so totally understood. We'll do better next time on that. One good thing about Vegas is, if you've not been to Vegas, the food is insane. Like, whatever you can think of, they got it, and it's awesome. The buffets are nuts. It's a really, really good time. It's going to be awesome being there. We were going to be in the Westin Hotel and Spa, which is literally like a block from all the cool stuff on the Strip, right down the road from the Caesars and that little complex of buildings there. So we're going to be right in the thick of things. So it's going to be pretty awesome. One challenge for us on the DSO team is, as this continues to grow, we've learned that Austin, Texas was pretty good sweet spot around 50 dudes to organize and, you know, wrangle, like, you know, trying to herd cats and keep everybody together. And everyone, let's go to dinner, and everyone, let's go here, and not, you know, split up and become a giant mess. This group's going to get bigger and bigger, obviously. We want to double in size if we can. Does that mean we, uh, open this Bro Fest thing up to 100 dudes? Holy crap, that's going to be probably too much. Probably be a Bro Fest, we cap it at a certain number. For those of you that want, great, we'll have a Bro Fest Part 2 in the same year type of thing. I can see that happening, and multiple events throughout the year, not just these big weekends, but just, uh, an afternoon get-together, you know, of talking maybe a presentation or something from a coach and just getting together for drinks, that type of thing. Rent out a space somewhere in some hotel somewhere, who knows? All kinds of opportunities for getting together. But what we've learned is getting together is huge, hugely important. Keeps that momentum going, keeps the spirits up. We all have a renewed sense of energy for after getting together in person. It just has a different vibe altogether than just meeting in the Zooms. Not taking away from the Zooms, that's important. It's tough for us guys to get away. With life and kids and all the other crap. So we have to have some kind of connection. The Zoom is perfect for that, but that once, twice, three times a year getaway, huge, hugely important. Mr. Gordon, you had your hand up first, sir.

Yeah, I just want to kind of reiterate some of the things that I was hearing from the guys. Probably the biggest complaint that I got from guys, you know, in the, in the down, in the, in the background, uh, was the fact that us coaches, we weren't as involved in in Austin as we were in Nashville. So I just want to kind of reiterate what happened with that. We were originally, we're all going to do presentations like we did in Nashville.

Okay.

I had actually my stuff already lined up, already had something pretty much put together. And what happened was we started getting more and more authors involved. And what happened was we were going to run out of time. We just didn't have enough time to put everything all together. So we ended up doing just authors and Kristi. So that didn't leave a whole lot of time for us coaches. Um, so that was, that was an issue. I felt a little weird with it too, um, because I felt like I was having all these one-on-one, you know, talks, and but I didn't have this one big one or like, like these, these big aha moments. And I think a lot of guys, um, maybe the new guys in particular that didn't go to Nashville, maybe walked away not getting as big of a take-home message because it wasn't our messaging, you know, it was the authors and that kind of thing. So we absolutely learned from that. I mean, it was a negative, but it really wasn't because we had some really, really good outside perspectives come in and they agreed on what we were doing. I mean, they were really, really receptive and like, wow, this is pretty awesome. Like, you know, we need to get more people involved with this kind of thing. And you nailed it on the head, man. You know, Nashville we had 30. Austin we had 50. And I could see a problem with if we start getting up to like 100 people, you know, because it's going to— we're going to be really, really spread thin as coaches. So we just got to have to do a little bit more stuff in front of the room as opposed to what we did in Austin. But it was great. It was really awesome to have these authors talk to us. But, uh, you know, we, we kind of lost a little bit of the feel with the coaches, and we knew that. Um, but that really was just kind of— it was kind of piecemeal because we were planning on doing it, but like I said, these authors started coming in and we did one by one and one by one, and it's like all of a sudden we didn't have— didn't have any time, you know. So we've got one extra day now in Vegas. That's going to be huge for us, a lot more time to be involved. And, uh, I'm personally looking forward to that kind of thing. So yeah, um, and, and I plan on not getting a stomach flu either.

I forgot about that.

Oh my God, yeah, I, I spent, uh, 6 hours on the toilet now between Friday night and Saturday when we had all these.

That's a vision. Yeah, it's nice.

Yep. Yeah, it was awful. Yeah, so, um, sorry about that, fellas, but, uh, hey, shit happens. Shit happens. That's exactly right. So, um, but yeah, that was— that's a funny story. I'll tell that story real quick. You got some time?

Go ahead.

Um, so after all of that, uh, uh, got said and done, I had this stomach bug, ended up with a really nasty migraine afterwards. So I was pretty much in bed for about 12 hours, um, during BroFest. So I finally got ready with the help of some of my fraternity members. They got me some things that I asked for. From the pharmacy, and I snapped out of it, got showered, got back down. And when I came in, it was right at the end of Dr. Glover's father session, which was like very heavy. And so I peeked in the door, and then I saw everybody had their eyes closed, and they were doing this like almost like this meditation thing, visiting like really past, really, really negative memories for most of them. And all of a sudden, um, I hear a door open. I was like, okay, cool, this is my opportunity to actually get inside this room. So I didn't want to bother that. And here it is, Christy came out. She's, she's ugly crying, you know. I was just like, what the fuck is going on here? You know, I didn't know what's going on. So I walk in and that was probably a top 10 awkward moment for me in the past decade. Um, it was so heavy in that room. I was like, I have no idea what's going on right now. Um, and if I get struck by lightning right now, I will not be surprised. So, um, I had to take a little bit more of a breather on that, but it was cool. It was awesome, other than me getting sick.

So yeah, well, I'm glad you made it out alive. But yeah, I could see that being a little bit awkward walking into the room after that session. Yeah, for those that don't know, um, Dr. Glover and GS both gave I guess you'd say presentations, guided exercises that really took us out of our comfort zone, I would say. GS had everybody standing up and pounding their chests and humming and doing all kinds of cool, crazy stuff. Well, Dr. Glover was more of, let's just take a timeout and think about your father and your relationship to your father and how it's impacted your life now. And, and yeah, that was pretty heavy stuff, but I like that. Takes us out of our comfort zone. It's something different. And back to your point about not a lot of time with the actual DSO staff, you know, message received. And again, so this next time in Vegas, we're definitely going to stagger. We'll be guest coach, guest coach type of thing and, and make sure the coaches have plenty of time, not just for the roundtable discussion amongst everybody, but for their own presentations and, and guided stuff for sure. Chuck, you had your hand up, sir.

Yeah, I'm just going to spin off your point of saying how like the coaches and the guys that have been there before need to be welcoming. I fully agree with that. But also to make the point of people that are new or who are introverted or who are a little anxious about this, the only way you are going to get anything out of this is literally to step up, talk to someone, introduce yourself. Hey, I know you, or walk up to one of the Coaches, ask them a question, right? Like, you are only going to get anything out of this if you attempt to get something out of it. So, Same thing with the group. If you're part of the fraternity, you've got to speak up. The only way you can get help from others is if we know what's going on. We need information. So, uh, like I said, same thing. If you go to Bro Fest, make sure you walk up to somebody, introduce yourself. I mean, like I said, it was awkward the first one I went to, but, uh, once you do, these people literally become like your brothers, your family. So you have to step up. You have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone, even just a little bit. Just to introduce yourself so you can get some help and learn from guys that are going through the same thing or have been through the same thing that you're going through.

Yeah, right next door to our little conference was a, was a dental conference of some kind, like dental appliances or still, you know, shit for the mouth. I don't know what it was, but to me that would be way more awkward to walk in and try to make personal contact with somebody in a conference like that versus ours, which was solely for the purpose of getting guys together to open up to each other and help each other out. We're all there for the same purpose. So that should help break down some of those social anxiety walls, at least you would think so, to help guys with— all right, so everybody else is kind of here for the same thing, and we're all kind of here at a kind of a somewhat of an uncomfortable thing of we're all trying to get better, and everyone has their own little flavor of dysfunction here. So, uh, what the hell? Hey, who are you? What's your story? What are you doing here? Um, I, I didn't feel— and but I'm biased, I shouldn't say this was the case for everybody— but I have never felt that anybody should walk in and feel like they're walled off, or this isn't my group, or I don't really belong here. I think we've done a pretty good job of eliminating that. I don't know, maybe not. But Pat, you had your hand up, sir.

Sorry, I got a cough.

Cough now. The, um, what you were saying, you kind of picked up on what I was going to say, but I think one of the big things walking in, you know, a war conference or something like that, there's always who's the bigger, better, you know, who's got the better practice, who's stronger, all that. In the group, since I, you know, since I joined online and in person, I don't think that's anything that's there, right? Not, you know, it's neither side who's more screwed up. Who has the most problems or who's in the best shape. Nobody cares. It's all about helping each other out and being there for each other and being with— just being together. And I think that makes a big difference when you walk into a room like that, knowing that.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, I would think that we don't have any kind of, you know, obviously with this group and we're talking about one of the big things is physical self-improvement. And the mental and so forth. I would hope nobody's going to walk in and go, man, I'm too chubby to go to a group like this, or I don't have my act together yet, and I'm too depressed, and I'm too anxious and stuff to belong to a group like this. Um, again, I would hope that no one ever feels that they're left out for something silly like that. In fact, I would think that that would lend itself to the brotherhood of being, of being connected to other guys. Um, those type of things actually make you part of the club. So to speak. We're all trying to get better, we're all trying to get a little bit more fit, and we're all trying to get a little bit more mentally healthy. We had one latecomer just came in. I don't know if you wanted to say anything. I'm going to call you out though, Matthew. Did you have anything to share, sir?

Uh, sure. Uh, I mean, that's why I hopped on anyway. Uh, no, the biggest thing for me— I don't know what you guys were talking about, but really the one thing I wanted to say was, you know, The reason I decided to go was because I wanted to be around a bunch of other guys that all had sort of the same goals in life. You know, we all wanted to be better. And, you know, the biggest thing that I wanted to take away from it was to, you know, get some more guy friends and, you know, just interact with more people in general. And, you know, one of the other things that I enjoyed was traveling. Being able to travel to a new place that I haven't been before and experience new things and, you know, try and experience more life, really. And so that's, that's what I wanted to get out of it, and that's exactly what I got out of it. And, uh, I'm very happy that I went, and I will continue to go because it's just a vacation. It's, it's a great vacation and, uh, you know, a way to, to meet new people and new experiences. Excellent.

Well, we loved having you for sure. Welcome to the group and thank you for coming. It was, uh, it was wonderful meeting you, and that goes for all of you. And some of you, it was the second time meeting you, and I consider you all my buddies now. So it's awesome to add to my tribe of buddies because I'm like a lot of you guys, I don't get a lot of dude time. I just recently talked about this on a podcast with Dr. Psych Mom. I said that that's, um, what every therapist or psychologist type Talking to dudes will say the same thing. You need to get out more and you need to be around other men. It's good for your— good for your spirits, good for your mental health, good for your stress and everything else. And we all hear that nod, but how many of us just have regular dude time? I know I would love to, but I don't. It's just the logistics of life. I could right now get on the phone and start texting all my friends saying, uh, one hour, beer, let's go, and I'll get a bunch of nos back. That's just the nature of the beast. They all have their own families and things to do. So sometimes it takes these purposeful timeouts of we are going to this location at this time, just men only, get away for a few days, let's go. And if that's what it takes, it's what it takes. But we got to do this kind of stuff. And if you're listening to this, and this appeals to you, go check out the dadstartingover.com website and click on the DSO fraternity logo and and join us. Try it out for a month, see what you think. I think you'll like it. I think you— it'll be worth your $14.99 a month or $149 for the whole year, so you get a little bit of a discount there. Or if you're sold and you want to join up for the lifetime, $349, you're in for life. So that's a pretty good deal. Excuse me while I cough. Um, Scott G, you had your hand up, sir.

Yes, I wanted to add to what you just said with that, uh, getting together with your buddies, getting together with your men. Okay, I'm 44 years old, I'm in the thick of things. My kids are 13 and 11, so we are professional taxi drivers between my wife and I. We're all over the place going in opposite directions most of the time, and you're going 1,000 miles an hour, and everybody else is too. And now COVID is pretty much kind of been done, it's and where, where I live for a good while now. So everybody's back in their normal routines, and it is— you might as well try to pull somebody's teeth out, um, trying to get them to come out. As far as guys, you know, gals, you know, they, they have a tendency to have a bit more of a circle than guys do. But with the added weight of us having to do a little bit more of the housework, you know, not just the work, you know, um, and us having to take care of a lot a lot of the kids' stuff, it's really taken away from men and men's groups, particularly like the Rotary, Masons, Lions Clubs, like these places that have been just staples of the 21st or the 20th century where guys just got together, had meetings, had dinners once a month. Those organizations are dying. So it's hard to actually go and plan for something like that. For instance, I had a neighbor that was going through a very difficult time. I could tell he was not looking good. His hair went from salt and pepper to gray within like 3 weeks. I saw him walking with his dog and I stopped. I was like, man, what's going on, dude? And he said, oh, my dad's really sick, you know, and I really, I love him to death and with him my whole life and, you know, he's probably got a couple months to live. And I said, bud, let's go out, man. Let's go, let's go have a beer, you know, and just talk and just chill. Because you know how, as well as I do, if you do that to your wife, she is going to be just wiping off all of the vomit off of her and she's going to be completely turned off, you know, like, oh my God, my man is like completely emotional and can't handle this shit, you know. That's how it's going to feel. But like, if you got guys just to lean on like that, brofist. That's what this is, man, like getting together as buddies, as brothers, like We've been so intimate with each other online, telling each other, you know, very, very, very dark stuff about each other. What's going on behind closed doors, you know, all the problems that we have. And that's a huge bond that, that really I can't honestly describe. I've got a lot of friends, I got a lot of buddies, but man, it is, it is really difficult to get guys out anymore. It really is. It's almost impossible, really.

Yep, I agree 100%. 100%. Um, so let's continue to grow this group, have little, uh, subgroups and, and, uh, what do you call them? Not factions, what's the word? Chapters. Chapters all over the world, you know, chapter in the UK, chapter in Australia. Our, our good buddy Steve White in Australia, he's taking the bull by the horns and he's having his own little version of BroFest in Australia, but they call it MateFest, which I still laugh at. That's awesome. As in, you know, good day, mate. Um, so they're having their little mate fest here in June. They're all getting together at a resort there, and we're going to join them for part of it on Zoom. So I love the energy, man. That's awesome. So Steve, if you're listening to this, thank you for that. That's the kind of energy we need to really push this thing and get it to be an international thing of men just getting together to help each other out. And we'll look back on these years of, hey, you remember Bro Fest, how we used to just get together once a year?

Haha.

Now we have 12 meetings a year and, and thousands of men all over the world. And, uh, that was cute back then. Now it's getting real. Um, that's my goal for this thing. Let's really, really grow this into something, um, really substantial. International, uh, in real big international push. So if there's nothing else, guys, anything else before we wrap up? It's already been almost an hour. No? If not, thank you, gentlemen. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for being part of the group and for being so open and vulnerable, yet strong at the same time, and helping us. And thank you for making the BroFest in Austin, Texas such a huge success. And I look forward to seeing all you guys in Las Vegas. Alright guys, have a good one.

Take care.