Want An Over-The-Top Fun Sex Life? Here’s Your Prescription.

Okay, if you're a frequent listener of the Dad Starting Over podcast and you find yourself saying, "Yeah, that sounds like me," well, you don't need another podcast episode. What you need is support. The Help for Men Brotherhood is where men go when they're done pretending that they got it all handled. You know, your dead bedrooms, your divorce, your loneliness, your rebuilding life. We have private forums, frequent live Zoom meetings, one-on-one coaching, courses, all my books at no additional charge. And yes, we get together in person. Real men and real conversations. So stop doing this alone and join the Help for Men Brotherhood today at help4men.com/join. I look forward to seeing you in the next member meeting.

Alright guys, here it is. The plan you've been looking for. If you're an adult male who wonders, "How can I give myself the best chance for living a highly sexual, fun, intense, and passionate life?" Well, this is for you. The plan is as follows. Number 1: Stay in good physical shape and health. Number 2, make decent money. Number 3, do not cohabitate with a woman. Number 4, do not marry. And number 5, do not have kids. All right, that's it. There's your no bullshit plan. Now go get them, Tiger. Wait a minute, what's wrong? Why are you hesitating? What's that? Oh, you want a partner to go through life with. You like the idea of being married and raising a family. Well, my man, therein lies your quote problem. Many of you listening to this, those that follow me after reading The Dead Bedroom Fix, which is the number one driver of traffic to my website and to the podcast, you're going through a very particular phase in your life. Please note that I said many of you, not all of you. I know that this won't stop many of you from commenting or emailing me saying, "Nuh-uh, not me," but hey, I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. Anyway, you feel that you have improved yourself dramatically. You feel that your value as a man has greatly increased. You see an improvement in your wife's attitude, and the frequency of your sex life has gone up. But there's still something missing. And when you drill down into what it is that you are looking for, the answer invariably comes out as some version of, I want that new relationship energy back. I want what we had when we were dating before marriage and kids. Well, congratulations, my man. You're a human male, because we're engineered to want that energy and that sexuality in our life. That visceral drive keeps our species going, after all. It makes us want to run around and knock up every hot chick that we see. The animalistic hunger and desire for that level of intimacy keep the sex worker industry humming along generation after generation. The good news is that you can certainly get that energy back with your wife, but only in spurts. You can think of these moments as little blips on the sexual radar. To believe that you can go back to the old 5 times a day for 4 days straight new relationship territory with your wife is unrealistic. And frankly, it's unfair to your partner. Getting glimpses of that old sexual her unfortunately takes work. Why? Well, you can thank Mother Nature for that. Women, when in the confines of a monogamous, comfortable/stable relationship, they tend to have their sexual knob turned down. For some, it just gets turned down to zero. It takes all kinds of effort on both the woman and the man's part to get that knob up to like a 4. You may on rare occasions see that knob go all the way up to 10, but it won't last very long. Yes, I know, back in the early relationship phase, all you had to do was say, "You look cute today," and her knob was up to a 10, and it stayed there for days on end. Again, that was then, this is now. Welcome to a long-term monogamous relationship. This shit takes work, and it takes some skill. And it takes some patience. I know some of you were sold on the idea of being married to one woman for life meant an unending supply of sex on tap whenever you want it, but you were sold a bill of goods. A healthy marriage means having a partner for life. It's you and the little lady versus the world. It's two people being there for each other through thick and thin. It means experiencing love and commitment when the rest of the world seems to be dead set on bringing you down. What does it not mean? Holy shit levels of wild erotic fun 24/7. Sorry, that's just a fact. The number of books that I have sold and the thousands of emails that I've received is enough evidence to show that the dreaded dead bedroom marriage is not an anomaly. If you take your foot off the gas, dead bedrooms are the norm. Because monogamy, it takes work. Everything in life has a give and take. Everything requires sacrifice. It's up to you to decide if your marriage is worth the level of work necessary to get your very normal needs met. Nothing says that you have to be married or committed. It's certainly not for everyone. If you are up for the job, then you need to be realistic about what that job entails. Do me a favor. Join myself and Dr. Samantha Rodman-Whiten, aka Dr. Psych Mom, on May 19th, 2022, for a 90-minute Q&A titled How to Make Monogamy Work. We'll break down our thoughts on the marriage game, bring each of our unique perspectives to the table, and we welcome you to ask anything that may be on your mind. Nothing is off the table. So hopefully we'll see you there. If you go to dadstartingover.com, just scroll down and you will see the graphic for How to Make Monogamy Work, and you'll see the picture of myself and Dr. Rodman Whiten, and we would love to see you there. All right, guys, thank you for listening.