Episode 157: Mommy Summer Brain

No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hi everybody, happy whiny palooza Wednesday.

Happy whiny palooza Wednesday.

It is really sad to me that we're still on Seth's account. So we are coming live to you. It's Wednesday night at 9 PM and we are on my husband's Facebook account live. You know what's up? Couldn't we go live on the Winey Palooza page with all those followers? Could we do that?

I'm not an admin. I, I can't access it anymore, right?

But I wonder if I could do that.

I do not know.

Okay, so I'm gonna go share it. I asked Seth for an update on Facebook. And what is hard to explain to people is that Seth has reached Facebook through our ad account, through an account that is at work. Yes, that is not me. So I can't talk to Facebook. Seth is talking to Facebook through our account and does not have an update.

So I told you what the update was though. I gave you the date of my last communication with them and they said that they're working on and that takes time and please be patient.

So I wanted to tell you a couple of things. Number one, my dog is next to me petrified because there are fireworks going on. So I am—

starting fireworks early.

I am petting him, and for somebody who used to love the Fourth of July, I do not love the Fourth of July anymore because I have my first dog who hates fireworks. I have never experienced this before. So we welcome all your points and tips We've tried the rest.

We've tried gummies. We've tried CBD.

We haven't tried actual medication, which I thought the vet was gonna give me, but—

He didn't go for it.

I don't know why the vet didn't actually— we talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it and then maybe we both got distracted. But back to Facebook, a lot of you wonderful friends are asking me, what is going on? Are you getting it back? And I am just updating you. I'll update you every Wednesday until we're back on my Facebook account. Yes.

Keepin' the faith.

So I do have a new Facebook page, but I'm not allowed to go live for, I believe they said, 60 days.

You have a new Facebook profile and you're not allowed to go live for 60 days.

The Whiny Foods page is going. We will find out if we can go live there. The Rebecca Greene profile, I have to wait. Well, no, don't fart around right now. Okay, okay. He's so—

I'd like to solve problems. We get an idea, I like to do it right away.

So Seth gets up in the morning and still goes to work. It's summer and he's still—

It's summer for you.

It's really—

I'm going to work later.

It's really not much different for Seth except that he doesn't have to— Seth and I are not getting up at 6-something with the high schoolers because the high schoolers are asleep.

Yes.

So we are getting up later. He is going to work later. But he's still going to work every day. And when, and when he is leaving for work, I am finding the best time— to the moms who are gonna watch this— the best time for me to work is I get up in the morning and I tend to go straight to my computer because I have been getting 2-3 hours of work done before they even come down the stairs.

That's great.

So I have found that early, well, it's not that early, the morning is my best work time for the summer when the kids aren't even rolling yet. So I did discover that, but my point is Seth was going to work on whatever day, Tuesday, and I was like, oh my goodness, I have to write a blog with mommy summer brain. And I was like, how am I gonna do this? And he's like, there's your topic, honey.

Yes. So you're all welcome for the idea.

I definitely have mommy summer brain. I wrote a list of mommy summer brain. They're all gonna relate to me. And the funny thing is, a mom said to me the other day, what day is it?

Exactly.

I feel disorganized. I'm staying up later and sleeping later, so I'm kind of like there's like a different routine, lack of a routine, lost my routine.

All of the above.

I'm having a harder time getting things done. I'm interrupted a lot.

Well, they're home.

I am trying to fit in work and summer fun simultaneously. I have my 3 kids home all day, so I'm juggling the 3 kids all day, and I feel much more forgetful. So those are my symptoms of Summer mommy brain.

Is this— we're putting the new diagnosis in the DSM-5 or something?

I diagnosed myself. I realized I had mommy summer brain when I felt scattered the other day, and I was like, this isn't— you know, for me, the kids go to school and I have from like 9 to 2 to get a lot of stuff done.

Yes.

So all the moms who are still working with your kids home, if you're going to the office that lends itself one set of challenges with the kids home. And my friend described it perfectly at a graduation party the other day. She said she's at work— she's a dentist, she's working— and her daughter's texting her from Dashes, her daughter's texting her from Clearfield, and— well, I shouldn't be giving locations. I call it 40+ brain. Oh my God.

Yes, for those of us who have to go to work during the summer, thank you, Cori.

Well, so she's at work and her teenager is running around and she's like, "Oh God, let her be safe." So, either your kids are bothering you while you're trying to work or they're getting independent and trying to do things that are making you stressed. Or both. Or both. I laughed at the amount of times that I was interrupted while writing the blog this week, but it did get done.

There you go.

Don't ask me how. I'm not going to promise you one every week this summer. I'm gonna do my best, and I just felt like a lot of moms could relate. I literally put the orthodontist in my phone this, it was like the appointment, the appointment. It was like 3:30 and I was like, remember that there's an orthodontist appointment at 3:30 or 3 o'clock or whatever it was. And then I was like, remember, and then Lily's friends came over and I'm feeding them and I'm watching them swim and the orthodontist calls and I see the number on the phone and I'm like, oh my goodness, you missed your appointment.

I did not know about that.

And I was like, um, I can be there in like 5 minutes. And they're like, okay, Mrs. Greene. They were not amused with me.

Get outta the pool, get dressed, let's go.

I was like, I gotta go right now. There's no swimming, there's no eating. I'm leaving.

So anyway, I assume you took Lily with you for that.

That was Ella.

Oh, you took Ella with you. That's good.

Lily did not have to go. That was Ella. And I did make it and she did go to the orthodontist, but I did forget.

But you did, you put an alarm on the reminder on your phone. Okay.

Okay. So that is one of my things too. Advise people. So, so how am I going to help myself with summer mommy brain?

Just put it on there, but there's no alert. It doesn't do any much good.

So that has been my main issue. Okay, so create a family calendar. So there were, there were no— there were issues with our family calendar. Okay, I do, I do not have it updated with everything we have.

Oh yeah, the issue is you got to put stuff on there so we all know we got stuff.

Well, so like I put cheerleading in and then there's, then there's more cheerleading and you got to put more cheerleading in. I put football in and then there's more football and then you got to put more football in. So I just got to keep up with the schedule.

Yes.

And I have to put alerts on my phone because as you see, even putting the orthodontist in my phone did not help me.

Yes. There needs to be a ding, an audible reminder.

I also have changed my mindset.

Okay.

So there is a lot of structure and order during the school year. Do you know that?

Yes.

It feels very um, it can feel very monotonous to me. I do see the benefits. I do see how the 4 of us— and Seth doesn't count because Seth goes to work all year round— I'm talking about the kids and I. The 4 of us do thrive on the schedule, but it does feel monotonous. So here we are, we're in the summer, there isn't really as much structure, there isn't as much routine And so I've changed my mindset and I'm like, just embrace the mess, embrace the chaos, embrace the mess, and embrace that it's something different for a couple months. Because I get so bored with monotony that I'm like, you are like the prime candidate for this, like just enjoy it, right?

Yes.

So, so I was thinking about how like my friend did like ice cream for dinner the other night and how like I can do like a last-minute trip to the beach and I can say, Seth, we're going to the beach. Like I can do—

right, because there's not that many activities.

If there's— well, no, if there's not an activity, right?

Now apparently there's going to be a lot.

Very hard to keep up with 3 children's summer schedules. That may end up being more of a routine than I thought.

So now we're going to need a routine of who's got what on what day where.

I kind of wanted a lack of routine for for a little while.

You got a couple weeks.

I do need to create some sort of routine. So I was thinking about how, like, if you have little kids, it's much different than if you have older kids. When I had little kids, we would— I would need quiet time, like make an afternoon quiet time. They don't think they need it, and you're fried, and you might need to sit and recharge. Make them sit and recharge. And I will tell you, if they're anything like Lily, Lily will go to a 33-hour playdate and will ask for a second sleepover. And then I will say, no, you need to come home and rest. And the text back was, are you serious?

It's fabulous.

So her playdate started at 1 o'clock in the afternoon at a party. Continued on to a sleepover, which I knew was gonna happen, continued on to making her way to her other friend's house to swim, continued on to, "Can we have another sleepover?" So Seth picked her up.

Yes, I did.

Which went a lot smoother than if I was gonna pick you up. That's another tip for moms. When you don't feel like it, you don't want to argue, you don't want to deal, just say, "Honey, tag, you're it." Yes, I picked her up, she got in the car, we left.

There was no, "Wait, can I stay longer?" Because you would go in and say hello and thanks for having them over.

Did you go in?

No, I didn't go in. And then the kids would beg and say, "No, let us keep going." So she just came out and left? Came out, got in the car, drove home.

So you didn't even say hello?

She was— I pulled up and she came into the driveway. I didn't even have to get out of the car.

Okay, so I'm going to tell you something to make you fall over right now.

You gotta go say hello to everyone.

When I pulled in the driveway last night at 9:30 to pick her up, she was so tired. She was walking towards my car and I did say hello and I did say thank you. And then I said she's ready to shower and go to bed. So I did leave.

I'm proud of you. So I know that that's an effort.

You're funny. Ah, okay. So, so a loose routine is None of it.

That's right, Corey, none of it.

We're going home. He doesn't chit-chat like I do. Corey, are you shocked?

No.

Hi, Aaron. I like to chit-chat, but my children tend to pull me away from the chit-chat.

Except Lily, because the longer she gets you to chit-chat, the longer the odds— no, the higher the odds go that she can stay.

If she's tired, she'll be like, okay, Mom, okay, Mom. So anyways, some sort of routine like a reading time, a rest time, a walking time. I need something.

Yes.

Okay, so I would like to delegate more this summer. Okay, so I got a text from my friend telling me that her daughter was cooking dinner tonight.

Wow.

And I will give Lily, kudos for picking dinner tonight. She did go to the grocery store. She did pick the dinner, but how about somebody else cooking?

Why don't you ask them or make them?

Or somebody else cleaning?

I did clean up.

Or somebody else doing the laundry? I'm just saying.

I'd be happy to do laundry.

No, no, no. I'm not talking. You're at work. There are 3 slaves.

Slaves. You have not been employing your slaves effectively.

I did.

You really need to crack that whip.

I did tell text Max upstairs in his bedroom to come and carry my groceries for me.

Did he do it?

He did it, and I packed the bags way too heavy.

Nice of you to do that for him, to help him work on his, his upper body strength.

I was like, who packed these bags so terribly? I did. So I don't want you to ever feel bad delegating your load to your kids. Do not feel bad for them cooking dinner. Do not feel bad for them doing the laundry. Do not feel bad if you can send them to run errands, which I could also do.

Yes.

Do not feel bad. Do not feel guilt. I have heard the guilt. I have heard moms who are like, I don't feel bad at all, they need to help.

That's right.

And Melissa would say if she was watching that we are a team and that everybody should be pulling their load.

Yes.

Right?

Pull something.

So how are we gonna do some self-care this summer? So in researching mommy summer brain—

oh, there's a— this is the thing, you didn't just make this up?

No, I made it up, but then I looked it up.

Ah, okay.

So I always do research, you know. Do you know that? I usually research my topic.

Okay.

And self-care kept coming up, and I am like, self-care? Like Liz mentioned, her and I going to a spa day. Yes, like, that sounds amazing. I've never had a whole spa day.

I've told you many times, so please go get it.

So I don't want to overwhelm the moms who are going to listen to this. I don't think a whole spa day needs to be your self-care. I do think you need to go hide in your bedroom and read a book for a few minutes.

My mom had no problem delegating. Chandra and I have been doing laundry since Country Parkway.

You know, Corey, some moms are so much better at it than I am. You know, the difference is that— and I'm not blaming my mom, my mom is wonderful. Corey knows my mom is is wonderful. She took care of us and, and to me that's normal. Your mom just takes care of you. Did I fold laundry? Did I help with dishes? I guess I did help. I guess I could get my kids helping more. My mom also worked more than I do so I don't know. I had a mom who did a lot but she also asked me to help so can you picture our children doing the dishes?

Yes.

Well, I mean, why isn't that happening?

Because you don't make them.

Ella's over there listening going, "Oh God, stop this conversation." Okay, so I'm gonna tell you one of the best things that helps summer mommy brain: staying connected with other moms. When I am at someone's house with other moms, we're watching the kids together, we're together bonding. It's one of the— it's one of those moments where I feel the most sane.

Okay.

And I think that the lesson in that is that we need to remember that we are not supposed to be parenting alone.

Right.

And I think that in today's culture, moms are alone a lot more than back in the day.

Right.

Back in the day when moms were doing more things together. So stay connected, make plans with your mom friends, including the kids, not including the kids. I love when the kids are having fun and I'm having fun. That's like the best summer combo. There you go, right?

Yes.

So I'm trying to pause and enjoy more little moments like our walk last night.

That was nice.

I'm trying to stay present. Tell them what Max was quoting to me today.

The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present— the today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. I believe that is a line from Kung Fu Panda.

Max loves Kung Fu Panda and Spider-Man.

Siri looked up the quote without me asking.

And, and was it from Kung Fu Panda? Yes.

Oh, why did I just click off of it? Because she was talking, so now I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's from Kung Fu Panda.

I will say that it's a little scary to me that you left for work and I blinked and it was 5:30 and you were texting me that you were coming home.

Time flies when you're having fun, right?

But I don't want the summer to fly. I want to like enjoy all the moments.

Well, maybe stop running so many errands.

And well, today was a get stuff done day.

There you go, GSD.

Oh yeah. Anyways, Can we pause summer? Can we pause July? July is my favorite month, if you didn't know this about me. And I just want to pause. Hit pause. Okay. Okay.

We'll go slow tomorrow.

I'm trying to meal plan and prep.

I did not know this.

There is nothing like on a summer day at 4 or 5 o'clock realizing that you have no plan for dinner and your 17-year-old is coming down the stairs going, what's for dinner? I'm hungry at like 4:30. It's like 4:30, 5 o'clock, like clockwork, where he's ready to eat like 3 chicken breasts.

Well, I was happy he ate.

I think he's— I think he's forgetting to eat during the day.

Yeah.

So I will tell you that before our errands, I did leave him lunch because he's not even making himself food. Can he make himself some food?

Yes.

I'm like, come on, Max, make yourself food and then make me some food.

I think that's the deal.

So I think that we need lots of grilling because I want to be outside. Yeah, I think we've been doing that.

We have certainly been grilling.

I think we need children to be cooking. Yeah, and I think we need some easy meals. Okay, uh, Kristen said they do sandwich night.

We could do sandwich.

We have never done sandwich night.

You buy the sub trays from Wegmans once in a blue moon.

When's the last time I've done that?

A couple weeks ago. I wasn't keeping track.

Okay, so I think that what my mother does is she meal— she meal preps in the morning so that she just has to like pop it in the oven. Okay, so tell me your easy summer meals. Can we just have hamburgers and hot dogs every night?

I don't know how your cardi— our cardiologist doctors would feel about that. Oh sure, honey.

Okay, we won't do that.

Grilled meat every night.

Okay, we talked about quiet time, we talked about delegating chores. Let's talk about hydration and food. Okay, this is one of those topics for summer that is going to keep us more sane as a mother, and I'm going to tell you why. So you're going to see a pattern here. Ally is the best at Okay, you need to eat some lunch. She eats. Max is not so good. He skips a lot of meals, but he doesn't then complain that he has a headache. We're gonna go to the third child. The third child who, during that 33-hour playdate, I go to the house that she's at and I'm like, did you eat lunch yet?

No.

It's 3 o'clock. Okay, I'm gonna eat in a few minutes. 30 minutes later, and I'm hanging out with my friends at this house. Okay, what did you find for lunch? And the reason that I stay on her— and then I'm like, did you drink any water today? Go drink a big glass of water. You are 11, she's gonna be 12 soon. It's time to be more responsible. You need to— if your children are little, it's our responsibility as a mother. We need water bottles, we need snacks, we need food, we need shade. And if your child is 11 going on 12, she should be able to drink water and make sure she eats. Well, I have to remind her that she ends up coming home from these long playdates with a headache because she hasn't eaten and she hasn't drank. That'll do it. So, I'm just reminding her, me, I have done it too. So I'm wondering why I'm scattered. Did I eat breakfast? Did I eat lunch?

Did you have enough water?

We're out of a routine. So in our routine, if she's having breakfast at 11 o'clock, when is lunch? When is dinner? I'm just saying we're out of our routine and I still have to make sure they eat. I still have to make sure they drink and I still have to make sure I'm doing it because you can see the summer mommy brain is real. Yes. So anything that you have noticed about me this summer with my mommy brain so far?

Um, not that you didn't already cover. I think you were enjoying the temporarily increased flexibility and lack of structure and lack of routine and soak it up along with the sun, um, until their stuff starts.

Well, and the other thing that we didn't talk about in this summer mommy brain is that there's 3 kids with 3 different agendas and there's a mom. And I may want to take an hour break in our pool, and Ella's going, 'I'm bored, can we go somewhere?' And I said to Ella, I'm like, 'Don't you want to like be home and enjoy being home?' And she's like, 'No, it gets boring at home.

I want to go somewhere.' She's like, I already did the enjoyment at home part. I did that for an hour while you were sleeping. I'm ready to go.

So no, she gets, she's been getting up after me. If you hadn't noticed that.

I had not because I'm out the door.

Well, when you were leaving today, she was coming down the stairs.

Well, that's nice progress for her getting up later.

Yeah, exactly. So I, I know that she's going to be really busy soon. She has an apprenticeship. Yeah, and she's going to be very busy, so she may be bored-ish for a couple more weeks unless she finds a job. But I don't know that she can find a job where she's going to say, oh, by the way, I'm going to disappear for 3 weeks, but then I'll be back.

That would be interesting.

We could try it. Who knows? We could try it. So if you're local and you know somewhere hiring 15-year-olds, let me know. And it would only be for a few weeks, right?

It's a great sales pitch, honey.

Well, if she disappears for 5 weeks or a few weeks to do this and comes back, she can still come back to work, right? So I will say Max is not complaining at all. He's not complaining that he's bored. He's not complaining that he wants to go somewhere.

He also has a car and can take himself places. Like, he's gone to the gym, he's been playing some golf. Like he's been— he hasn't— he's been going places on his own.

Yeah, yeah, or with friends, but he's not complaining, right?

Which is nice.

And when he's not golfing or at the gym or doing something, he's home chilling and he's not upset about it. Yes, and working on this project.

Yes, he does have an internship he's doing.

Okay, so that is my mommy summer brain in a nutshell. I'm gonna guess a lot of you are going to relate. I am definitely working on it. I'm adjusting to summer. I think that I'm going to embrace and love and get into the summer routine, and then I think it's going to be time to get ready to go back to school.

That sounds about right.

It's like by the time you relax and adjust, it's okay. It's wonderful. It's a wonderful problem. I am so— I— it's not a problem. I love summer. I love the— I love the summer chaos, I would call it. Yeah. I love the weather. I said to Ella, um, I took her to her friend's house today, so I got some alone time in the car, which is precious when you're a mother of 3. And I was like, don't you just love being outside and the sunshine? And she's like, Mom, this would get really boring all year. And I'm like, how is that possible? How could the sunshine and being outside ever get boring?

You just don't know because you're not used to having it all day every day and having there be no change.

She's like, I need to see snow, and I'm like, I do not need to see the snow. So Lily was like, I think I want to go to the University of Miami, and I was like, I will come with you.

So it's 110.

I have never been to Miami. That would be fun.

Okay.

That would be really fun.

Well, if she's still interested 7 years from now, we'll go check it out.

I don't really want her that far from me.

I guess we're not going to check it out.

I mean, if you're gonna move me to Florida, she can go there.

No.

So that is my mommy brain that I'm working on. How is your mommy summer brain? How is your summer going? Are you in a routine? Are your kids in a routine? Are you enjoying the weather? Let us know how you're adjusting to summer and let us know what are— where is everybody? You know, I am like dazed and confused now that Yubi doesn't do fireworks. I feel like I have like lost my Fourth of July way between Tanner, our dog, hating fireworks.

Yes.

And Yubi stopping fireworks.

Well, I mean, where are you gonna go? I mean, if you— but I think a lot of the country clubs do them. You could drive close enough to see it, but then of course that means one of— I don't know, is one of us staying home with Tanner and you go out there?

Kenny Field is doing fireworks tonight.

I don't know what that is.

I think it's in Tonawanda, but I would have to look.

Okay.

Um, yeah, so where are you seeing fireworks if you live near me? And what are you doing for the 4th? I did pick winners for my birthday challenge in the Winey Blues and Mom group on Facebook, and Rebecca Greene and Amber Hannis, and who was the third winner? Jody Hutchinson are the winners. Do they still do fireworks at Bassett Park? I don't think so. That is an excellent It's an excellent question. We can definitely check. I'm definitely a UB girl, and I went to UB forever, and then they stopped, and I was like, I just haven't found my new firework groove.

We also picked up a dog.

Yeah, none of our other dogs acted like this.

So, well, you'll be okay.

I'll be okay. So yeah, I picked winners. The Summer July Challenge is going on, so go jump on, make some comments, because I'm gonna pick winners this week for the Summer July Challenge. And the group is, you know, I love it. It's supportive. We talk about strengths, we talk about challenges. And the podcast on Friday is Edie Nathan, and she's going to help us navigate grief. Uh, that was a wonderful conversation if you want any help with any sort of grief in your life. And Seth, you do the other part that you're so good at.

Go to brightybalooza.com, find her link tree where all of her resources are. And it would mean the world to us if you would like, share, rate, review, subscribe, and comment so that other amazing moms can see this content until it gets back to her profile.

Yeah, so, so in not even 60 days now— it's much less than 60 days— in less than 60 days, I can go live on my new Rebecca Greene profile.

—but I'm hoping you have your account back.

But I'm hoping by the time I'm allowed to go live on my new profile that I have my old profile back. And we're gonna go see— I have a Winey Palooza page on Facebook with a lot of followers. I'm gonna see if I can go live there, but I don't know if everybody will find me there. We'll find out. It's a lot. Facebook is so much fun, and I'm gonna tell you, the lesson is that you have to have your eggs in a lot of baskets. So I'm on TikTok, I'm on Instagram, I just started LinkedIn. I really am not so good at Instagram. I'm trying to— I don't know why I'm not so engaged. So if you have any tips to get me more engaged in Instagram, I need to be on there because every single guest I have like puts their nose up to Facebook, like, you know what I'm saying? Like isn't into Facebook, but wants to know my Instagram stuff, and I'm like, oh darn it, another Instagram person. So I gotta get more into Instagram. We gotta have our eggs in multiple baskets. And anything else, honey? I think you're good. Well, thank you, Cory. It was so nice to visit with you. I get to see you in person soon. Cory is coming here for our 30th high school reunion. Yes, I have been out of high school for 30 years. And, uh, oh, thank you. Have a happy Fourth. Have a wonderful long weekend. A lot of you probably took the long weekend, and we will be back next Wednesday, next week.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, Leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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