Episode 241: May Madness

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No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza. Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

How does your voice feel?

Fine.

Do you feel like ready to perform tomorrow?

Yes, Mom.

Does your voice feel good?

Yes, Mom.

So tell everyone what tomorrow is.

Two preview shows for my school.

Are you guys, are you guys doing the whole show?

Yep.

So you're not doing part of it, you're doing the whole show? The entire show. So Ella and Lily have been working on Fame their school musical for how long? Like 3 months, months, months of rehearsals, months of staying after school. So tomorrow the performances start and they go Friday and Saturday night and then they're done. Well, done-ish. You have—

we might have some rehearsals for a performance at the Junior Theatre Festival later in the summer.

That sounds great. It's during the summer or it's during June?

June.

It's during June. It's during school.

Yeah.

So what did I want to say? So if you are local and you would like to see Ella and Lily in their musical— can you get closer to me? Let me know and we will help you buy some tickets to come see this fabulous performance. Do you have any idea how excited I am?

I'm sure very excited.

I'm so excited and I'm so proud of you because you've been working so hard. Are you excited? Are you nervous? What are you feeling?

I'm just excited.

It's gonna be awesome.

Yep.

Okay, you're dismissed. She's so not into this at all. She's had a long day.

I was kind of at school from 11 to 5:30.

Yeah, shorter than normal.

That's shorter than normal.

Yeah, what's up with this long day crap? Yep, hours off.

It was the same, it was the same amount as a normal day.

Yeah, it wasn't a long day. You're good, you got a couple hour break.

So no more staying after school for a little while until further notice. They're gonna be rehearsing again because they're going to, um, some junior theater or something, some sort of event. So, so my topic this week, I started to write about it, I started to write about it, and the writing was— the writing was stressing me out, so I stopped.

It's not good.

So writing is supposed to be a coping skill and bring you joy. So writing is supposed to be my greatest— one of my greatest coping strategies. And when I'm feeling really stressed about something, I get it all out on paper and I work through it, and I usually come up with solutions for myself. And it helps other people and it helps myself, so it's like a win-win situation. It's fine, it's fine. Please stop. It's fine. Okay, it's fine. Um, so, so writing is usually a coping strategy, but I was finding it stressful. So I was like, when it's stressful— so just so that you all know, when I'm finding it to be like an added stress, I'm not gonna do it.

Good for you.

I'm not gonna do it. I am— my goal is to write for you, to give it to you every— to give you a topic every Wednesday. But if it's not working or it's stressing me out, I'm not gonna do it. And it was stressing me out, so I meant to get back to it today. And I didn't.

Okay, so we're doing this without the writing.

So I'm gonna try to process May without stressing myself out. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what has already helped me. Okay, so if you are in the world of school, kids in school, with your children, if your children are in school, and if you're a mother or a father and you're feeling the May madness. You're feeling like, oh my God, it's May and there's a lot going on. I think the biggest thing that has helped me this week is realizing once again that I'm not alone.

You are not alone.

So I literally started writing this and my friend posted all about May and she was like, mothers, I know it's May, and she listed a— she list, made a list of pointers for May, and she was like, we can do this. And she doesn't know this, and, and I will— if she doesn't see this, I'm going to privately message her and say she doesn't know how much that post helped me. Because sometimes you all post things that really touch me and make me realize— maybe, maybe you give me a solution, maybe you give me I think she gave me just this awesome feeling of not only am I not going through this alone, but her saying like, we've got this, we can do this. It was like the pep talk that I needed at the moment.

Oh, that's awesome.

Sometimes I find myself saying to myself, you can do this, one step at a time, you can do this, you know you always do this, you always get it all done. So the fact that she spelled it out and said that was so helpful. So I'm hoping that saying this to you will have the ripple effect.

Awesome.

So she rippled to me and now I'm rippling to you. So I started laughing about May and Seth, look at this.

That's a significant list.

I had a little bit of a panic yesterday because I had the dates wrong. Thankfully, in my, in my head, I was further in May than we are, and I was like, oh my gosh, I have the 5th, 6th grade dance and I have nothing done. I mean, I have a lot done, but I still have stuff to do. And I was like, oh my gosh, how am I ever gonna get this done in time for next Friday? And guess what?

It's not next Friday.

I was a week off. I was, I was like, and I was like, yes! It's not next week, it's the week after. So I gave myself the week back, but it was Principal's Day. I had to do something for that. Next week is Teacher Appreciation Week. Yes, for everyone who has asked me, Teacher Appreciation Week is next week. I don't know why people are celebrating it this week.

They're wrong.

They're definitely wrong.

Maybe they didn't have room in their calendars next week.

You know what, it works better for us at my daughter's school to do it next week. Maybe it worked better for other people to do it this week, like Seth is saying.

That could be.

But for our school, um, we have a lot going on this week, so next week is better. So Teacher Appreciation Week is next week, so appreciate your teachers. And if you're at my daughter's school, please help me with the breakfast that we're doing. A little plug there.

I love the sign-up— Sign-up Genius.

Oh my gosh. And if Nikki sees this, Nikki is the queen of Sign-up Genius. If you have not used Sign Up Genius, start using it. It is the best tool for our parties and events. We get parent volunteers, we get all lots of donations of food and drinks, and you sign up genius.

There you go.

Okay, we're reconnected. So not only do we have school stuff like Principal's Day, Teacher Appreciation Week, school events, we have the 5th, 6th grade party, we have drama club performances, we have lots of school stuff going on right now. But there's also— I realized why I'm stressed is not only do we have Mother's Day, which I'm totally unprepared for and need to figure out what I'm doing for Mother's Day because we have our mothers in town.

Yes, we do.

Um, so we want to make our mothers feel special.

Yes, we do. Um, we also want to make this mother feel special.

I understand that, but Seth, not only do we have Mother's Day, but we also have your mother's birthday.

Yes.

And we also have another significant family member's birthday.

Yes.

So birthdays, Mother's Day, school events, you got a lot going on. I— do you realize how much we have going on?

Probably not.

Um, it's a lot. So I am going to take a guess here, and I'm okay with this. I'm going to take a guess that you go to work.

Yes.

And you're in your little work world over there.

Little work world.

You're big, huge work world.

Okay, you can, you can size diminish my work.

You are in your big, huge work world of lots of things to do.

No, I don't do anything all day. I sit and twiddle my thumbs and eat bonbons and think with pity on my poor wife who is doing a million things while I goof off all day long.

Okay, so I know that's what you think I do. No, I think that you work. No, I have asked you to slow down.

You have.

So don't think that I don't appreciate you and know how hard you work.

I know that you do.

You know that I appreciate you? Yes. Do you know that I know you work your buns off? Yes, literally work your buns off.

Oh, there's still some buns left.

So Seth goes non-stop all day. Yes, like attracts like, baby.

I wasn't complaining about your, your non-stop.

So I have asked Seth to slow down because I think he makes too many appointments and I think he does too much. And everyone who is listening to me right now is wondering if I'm the pot calling the kettle black.

Correct. I have also told you to slow down.

Well, so maybe we can both listen to each other.

Maybe we can. My staff says the same thing. They also tell me to slow down.

Well, so maybe you can listen to all of us.

I'm trying. Well, not as easy as you think.

Why not?

Why not?

Well, I am blessed with an abundance of demand.

Whoo!

So gotta make hay when the sun shines.

Okay, so let's move to my question because I didn't get to my question. Okay, so you go to work.

Yes.

And you work all day.

Yes.

And then you come home.

Yes.

And it's expected— not— I'm not saying this in a bad way. It's expected that I'm running the home household calendar.

Home calendar.

Yes, home calendar. So like, I'm like the coordinator.

I completely depend on you to be the domestic coordinator.

Okay. So the schedule probably doesn't stress you out because you know I'll help you know what's going on.

Yes, yes, I trust that you will tell me where to be, when, with whom. Doesn't stress— it still can stress me out that there's a lot there, but I am not stressed about putting the stuff on the calendar because I barely put anything ever on the home calendar except maybe a date every once in a while. You put all our activities on there.

Well, and I think what I'm doing— okay, so I've gotten better at checking our calendar.

Yes.

So you know how—

progress.

Okay, so like, for example, the other day you texted me and said, have a good training, and I said, oops, I forgot.

It was— I saw I had a ping. It was on the family calendar.

It didn't ping me.

Did you— do you set up alerts for it to ping you? No, I do.

Well, why would my stuff alert you? Or does everything alert you?

Everything.

Okay, so we have—

I can show you how to do that.

On top of our normal crazy life, yes, stuff happens. Yes, like a, a toilet overflowing.

Yes, bless you. And then us needing plumber appointment to hopefully temporarily fix it, and then some significant work to permanently fix it in the future. And thank you for being home for the plumber and dealing with them, because I had a million appointments that day and had to work at work and could not be home to talk to the plumber.

Well, so the problem—

now throws a wrench into your plan.

So the problem is that my wonderful husband disappears in, in a, in a, in a work— he, he goes to work.

So I'm gonna start skipping work and hanging out in a bar so that you can say that I really ran away.

No, but listen, you have to let me talk so that you can understand what I'm saying. So Seth can go do what Seth wants with his day, okay? So whether— whatever you're gonna do from 7:30 to 5:30, it's your day to work and do your thing, okay? I have a very different life, and what that life looks like is if I have a plan for my day, it doesn't matter, because if the toilet's overflowing, your plumbers are there all day talking to you and consulting you and asking you questions, and you miss your training.

Correct. I'm sorry that I could not be home.

You wouldn't have been able to talk to them, right?

I would have to reschedule everything, and I did not have time to reschedule everything. Okay, so this was not a good, good week for us to need plumbers, for me to be here for them.

Okay, so we had— we did this last year We got through May last year.

Get through it every year.

Okay, so how do we do that? Because we need to, we need to tell them and we need to tell me, okay, how we do this every year.

Just, I don't understand. You just get it done. You just go do this stuff and you just do this stuff. I don't understand why it has to, by May has to be a separate thing than April or March or whatever. There might be more but it's still— you're not gonna die because of it, right? You're just gonna— we're gonna get the kids to where they need to be and you to where you need to be. At the times that we just do it. I don't— am I missing something or are you just overthinking it?

You are missing a lot.

Okay, please fill me in and the people will learn from you educating your ignorant husband.

May is very different from March, like 100% different from March.

Okay, I get that there's a lot more stuff coming on because it's getting near the end of the year.

I think June will be worse.

Okay, but you're still gonna get through it. We're still gonna get everybody everywhere and it's still gonna be fabulous. Um, busy, tiring, and fabulous.

So what mothers are doing, what we are all doing, is we are balancing and juggling a lot of things.

Yes.

So whether it's work or the house or the kids or the volunteer work or whatever So, you know, I should probably share that this year I'm the president. The last 2 years I'm the president of the PTA, which, you know, is a lot of work. It's a lot of work, especially right now. This is like go time. This is like go time. So there's lots of events and lots of stuff going on. So I think that one of the things that you have helped me, which I need to keep telling myself, is to be where my feet are.

Yes, be present as opposed to— and I gotta work on that too.

I think, I think my head is going 100 miles an hour.

Oh, I know it is. I can see the smoke.

So I think that what I realized when I missed my training on Monday is that I have to check my calendar like a ton because I'll tell you why.

Do you not?

I don't.

Okay, I live on my— like, I couldn't get through my day without it.

So you're—

what to do all the time.

So you're consulting your, your calendar all day.

It is telling me what to do.

I'm 20 minutes. Okay, so I'm expecting myself to remember a lot, right? I'm using my— so I'm looking at it like I'll wake up and I'll look at it and I'll say, okay, this is your day, and I expect myself to remember it all.

No, if you like put set alerts on all throughout so that it just reminds you and you don't have to use that brain power to try and remember stuff, you will relax some more.

So you think that will relax me?

I think that will help a lot.

So, and I'm also finding that for me personally, I might be trying to take it day by day and hour by hour, but that doesn't always work and I have to do more planning ahead. So like a perfect example of this is that we have spring concerts coming up We do. And my girls— I—

okay, yes, we do. I'll check the calendar.

And my girls are outgrowing everything.

Uh, we need more black.

So I need more black pants. So like, what, what kind of— like, what kind of uniform do you need? What kind of dress clothes do you need? Um, you know, we're going to a bar mitzvah. What kind of clothes do we need for the bar mitzvah? I have time for that. I can't believe you're awake and you have wine. Tate and Score!

Congratulations!

Wow, we are talking about May Madness.

Yes, and good reason for wine.

I want to tell you what I'm super jealous of because Tayton just reminded me of this. Her kids are winding down with school and I feel like my kids are ramping up. Like, I feel like there are so many schools that are ending soon. I'm gonna start to see all the private schools and are all the schools in the South posting last day of school, and I every year I'm like, hey, that's not fair, we can move.

Um, we start school or in August.

Do they start school in August? Is that when they start?

They start early, they get out early. We start late, we get out late.

Yeah, but I still feel like we're going to school later than anybody.

Yes, we are. I, I checked, and of the 10,000 school districts in the country will— where we are is the longest school year ever.

Okay, so when we're done with this live, you're gonna go look it up.

Oh my God.

And I'm going to bet you $100. I'm gonna bet you $100 that our school district in particular, this area, goes to school longer than anybody else.

Okay. All right, that's fine. $100 bet.

$100 bet.

We're gonna— she's— I'm sure she will post if she wins. You can post a picture of you with $100.

Oh my gosh. So we're talking about getting through May Madness. We're talking about me being present where I am at the, at the moment.

Yep.

Seth says I need to do alerts on my phone so that I'm not missing things and not trying to remember, not trying to remember it all. You don't need So then all day my phone pings me and reminds me what's going on.

Yeah, that's how I get through my days.

How do you do alerts for everything? Do you have it set that way or do I have to do it every time I put it in?

Whenever you create an event, you add an alert on as you're creating the event.

Okay, so you do it for every single event?

Yes, because otherwise I'll spend too much time on a call that was supposed to be 30 minutes and we had this happen and I missed 15 minutes of our staff meeting because that call went over and it was pinging me going, you need I need to get off this call. And I was like, I had to message my team and go, can't make the call because this one's giving me my— this one's giving us money.

Okay, so I'm gonna consult my phone more through the day. Yes. So that I don't miss anything.

Yes.

I'm gonna plan ahead.

Yes.

And I'm going to see what I need to order for my children.

Black pants, white blouses, pretty much safe for every concert ever.

I'm trying to think what else.

I mean, shoes, do they need shoes?

Birthday. But I need to get birthday presents for people. I need to get Mother's Day presents for people.

Yeah.

Um, this is where the head spin begins.

Make a list, check them off one at a time.

And June will be worse.

I'll do the birthday present for the one person.

Oh, you will?

Yes.

Thank you.

Talking about— I know what she wants.

I want you to know my love language is acts of service.

Yes.

And when Seth takes something off my list, yes. Whoo, stress relief!

I did the dishes.

You did the dishes and you're gonna order a present?

It's a red letter day.

I'm so happy.

So I could buy Mother's— I'm sure your mother would love what I pick her out for Mother's Day.

So yeah, you're not buying my mother's Mother's Day gift, although you would probably do a decent job.

I could tell you exactly what I would go shop for and it might not be terrible.

You would buy her books?

No, I would buy her jewelry.

You'd buy my mother jewelry? My mother probably does not want jewelry.

You don't know what I'm talking about, but maybe you do.

Okay, you'll tell me after.

I'll tell you later.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Okay then. So you're gonna see Destination Massage. Is that what— oh, you're— Joette's telling me. So Joette and I were talking about, um, we love Destination Massage. She was texting me about my massage place. I think she's gonna Oh, you gotta go. We love it there. The owner is Karen. Tell her you know us. Yes, she loves us, we love her. Um, yeah, there's no doubt. I— so the gift of— I think I gave her a gift of Destination Massage, and I bet you she never used it. I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it back and use it myself.

Can you do that?

Yes.

I don't know how that works.

Yes.

Oh, all right.

You know what, Sincerely, if my mother does not want her massage—

Oh, you gave it to your mother? I thought you gave it to Joette, and I was like, why did not Joette not use it?

No, I get it.

Your mother's funny about this stuff.

If my mother is not going to use the massage, I will take it back. I will ask her, and I will buy her an extra special Mother's Day gift.

There you go.

Extra expensive for stealing her massage.

It's not you. No, no, no, she doesn't get extra because she didn't like your present.

That's your fault. Yes. Okay, if I bought her a bad present—

it's not a bad present just because she doesn't like— no, that's not how this works.

I'm not consulting.

Does that mean any present you've ever gotten me that I didn't absolutely love, you now owe me extra for?

Um, if you don't like something, you need to return it and get something else.

But when I go to return it at the store, if it was $100, the store doesn't go, we're sorry, here's an extra $50.

Okay, listen into the— you're totally misinterpreting what I'm saying.

Okay, make her go with you.

I could try. That's not a bad idea.

Give me more money. Okay, listen, I'm listening.

If I give her something—

yes—

that she doesn't like, right, and she's not gonna use it, or she's never gonna get to it, she's like, Rebecca, just take it, I'm never gonna go—

understood, I'm with you—

then I get the $100 gift and it's spent on me, so then I owe her $100.

Not $150, not a gift.

No, no, no, you're missing the point.

You said I'm gonna get her a better present because I feel bad.

No, you're missing the point.

What's the point? I love you. I'm sorry, what am I missing?

It's from a different present.

I got that.

It's probably from Mother's Day last year. So that's a Mother's Day present for last year and a Mother's Day present for this year.

Two separate things.

Yes.

Okay, none of that is the— you get a better present because you didn't like the first one.

He's not following me. I will explain.

Did I not hear that? I thought you said—

you totally don't understand what I'm saying.

I literally thought I— I'll go play this. Those were the words. I thought those were the words you said. You get a better present.

Sometimes he drives.

I'm I'm not doing this on purpose, honey.

You are driving me crazy.

I love you.

I love you too. Okay, so anyways, I'm gonna get through May. Yes, June will be crazier, and then in July you'll find me floating in my pool. Yes, and that's what I'm gonna do for July, and nobody's gonna bother me. Maybe I'll just take the month of July off.

I think you should. That's a great idea.

Okay, so we have driven them all crazy, right?

You gotta— it's contagious.

It's contagious. No, don't be crazy. Let's all take it day by day and hour by hour and support each other and know that we're not alone. And use my phone notifications and phone a friend and phone my mother and phone my husband. And you know what?

$200 massage gift certificate.

There's something else that I want to tell you in the name of acts of service. Okay, when you say to me, well, I'm— you come home, I'm cooking dinner, you're home earlier than I expect, and you say, no, keep cooking, I'm gonna go get the girls. Do you know what that means to me? Do you know what that means to me? Because I didn't have to stop cooking, right, go get the girls, and come back and finish cooking. I got to finish cooking and dinner was ready when you all got home.

When you guys all got home and you were on a roll and did— nobody messed up and I allowed you to preserve the momentum of your mojo.

Well, and it was just so nice that you showed up earlier than I expected and helped.

Happy to do that.

Major points.

Yay, I like points.

So, and I did the dishes. So, so what is—

and I'm getting a $150 massage gift card from $100. I'm ready.

Oh my God. So the moral of the story is ask for help and don't let your husband drive you crazy.

I don't know how you're gonna do it the second one, but yes, ask for help.

Maybe, maybe we need a timeout. Okay, I will go explain to him what I was trying to explain to him.

Fabulous.

Um, right now I do want to tell you all that we're in the middle of the Mother's Day May Challenge in the Whiny Pooza Mom group, and I'm loving it as usual. I love hearing what everybody is thinking and feeling about motherhood. So, um, let me know if you want an invite to the group. Uh, it's private, so I have to— you have to let me know that you want me to invite you. And, um, Tayton, I don't know if you're still here. I have no idea who's on the podcast this Friday. Tayton is my wonderful producer. She might know.

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be great. It's gonna be a great podcast. Um, and what else do we want to tell them, Seth?

Uh, let's see. You did the group. Listen to the podcast. Get the app in the App Store.

I'm also being taught by people doing this stuff like I am to, to I knew it was Shirin.

Okay, um, go listen to Shirin on the podcast, on the Friday, on the podcast. iTunes, Apple Play, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, TuneIn, Pandora, Audible.

Oh my gosh. So you watching and listening and commenting and, um, rating and reviewing, it is, it is what gets it out to more mothers, which is always my goal. Because we want to help people. Yes, thank you. Thank you for helping me help people. Thank you. Did that make sense?

Watching Whining Blues on Wednesday.

Thank you, everybody. Ella, do you want to sing us out? I guess she's coming.

Coming. I better get out of the way.

The star is coming, coming to sing us out.

Thank you for watching Whining Blues on Wednesday with the Greene family.

Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Have a wonderful week.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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