Episode 245: Oops, I Did It Again!

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No need to whine and whiney palooza. Have some wine and join us on the Winey Palooza Podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the Winey Palooza Podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday. No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Blues on Wednesday with the Greene Family. That was great. Thank you. Did you enjoy your first swim? I did. Do you like your new pool? I do. Crazy kid. We are currently filling—

Oh Lord bear.

It's ice cold, baby.

We are currently filling— that was really dumb to do into the camera. Um, we're filling our new pool. Yes, it is freezing.

Yes, it is 50 degrees in Buffalo, New York, and it's probably colder than that.

And Seth and the girls wetted the pool, and I knew they would. I knew they would jump in. I knew they wouldn't wait. Friday, I think it's going to be 75. Saturday our heater gets hooked up.

Yes. And warm up the pool.

And Sunday maybe I'll actually go in the pool.

We'll see how brave you are.

We'll see how warm it is.

That too.

I don't want to— I mean, I guess I could go in a freezing pool. It's good for me.

Cold is good for you.

Hi, Joette. It's good to go. It's good to take cold showers. It's good to take cold plunges. So maybe Um, I will take a cold plunge this weekend.

Maybe. Why are we slanted?

Um, because of the stand.

Well, that's better.

Is that better?

Much better. Now we're straight across. Those details, honey.

Well, so that wasn't bothering me. It's always fascinating. So like, I study human behavior. Human behavior fascinates me. If someone is doing something that I think is bizarre, I wanna like analyze it.

So I'm bizarre now because that bothers me, but something else that drives you crazy doesn't bother me?

No, not bizarre. Bizarre is the wrong word. I like to figure people out and understand them.

Yes, you are the why girl.

And Seth and I care about such different things. Like, we were just slanted at an angle and I didn't even care and he cared. It bothered him.

And you're normally the detail person of the two of us.

No, I twitch about very different things. Like, I twitch that the kitchen's a mess right now.

Yes, I'm not done with the dishes.

I, I'm not doing anything. I have been up since 3:30.

What the heck is going on with you, woman?

Oh, well, I, I wake up— everyone is going to understand this who is, who is my age— I wake up between 3:30 and 5:30 to pee, and sometimes I can go back to sleep and sometimes I can't. Did you know that?

I, I did not. I did know that when you get up too early, sometimes you can't go back to sleep. Ah, so you're getting some affirmation right there.

So see, Joette understands. So a lot of times I can go back to sleep. Last night I could not go back to sleep.

So sorry about that.

I've been off. The dog is causing trouble. So I've been up since 3:30, so I can't believe that I'm still awake. He has Ella's sock.

Oh, fabulous. I'll be right back, folks. Live television. You get started.

So after they went in the pool, their clothes is all over the house. And my dog still thinks it's fun to steal socks and shoes. So we're still in that place. So we're going to talk about Mother's Day. How was your Mother's Day? Did you have a nice Mother's Day? Are you happy with Mother's Day? Did you tell your family what you wanted? Were you not comfortable telling your family what you wanted? I think that my family is pretty well trained. So as you know, it is about the kids. How many days a week— a year? Like 360, there's 365 days in the year. Oh, you are up from 1 to 4? Did you get up to pee? I have done that, I have been up from like— I'll be up from like 3 to 4 once in a while and then I'll fall back to sleep from 4 to 6 or something like that but I'd like to get up and pee and go right back to sleep, it just doesn't always happen. Joette was up from 1 to 4. Joette, did you go back to sleep at 4 o'clock, Joette? Because I did not.

You can get a lot done from 1 to 4.

No, I don't think she needs to get a lot done.

No, I'm just saying if you were up at 3:30 and you couldn't go back to sleep, you probably tried to go back to sleep for like half an hour, and if you can't go back to sleep, like I would go downstairs and do stuff.

Okay, no.

Be productive.

No, what I did was from 3:30 to 4:30 I laid in bed.

Okay.

Yeah, she stopped looking at the clock. From 3:30 to 4:30 I laid in bed trying to go back to sleep. From 4:30 to 5:30, I laid on the couch downstairs because I didn't want to bother you.

Appreciate that.

And then around, I don't know, 6 o'clock, I was like, well, go take a shower and get moving, girl.

Alrighty then.

So that was my evening. So I was telling them that 363 days a year, it tends to be about the kids.

Yes.

2 days a year It is about me. Birthday and Mother's Day, just 2 days, just 2 days. I just asked for 2 days. There's a whole year of 365 days where I don't— on my kids and do things for the kids. 2 days a year are about me. And I still screwed it up. I still screwed it up. But I still had a nice day, but I screwed it up in many ways. Did a lot right and a lot wrong. So every year I'm going to learn more. So better every year. So learn more with me and I think that after things occur, whether it's an event or a party or whatever it is, it's good to think about, okay, what did I like about this and what didn't I like about this? So what I liked— now we just talked about the fact that I've been up since 3:30. It tends to be more like 5:30, 6 o'clock. And on the weekends, if I get to sleep in Like, that's a present in itself. Like, just the fact— I think I slept till 9 o'clock.

You came downstairs at like 9:30.

Okay, I think I slept until 9, 9:15 on Sunday for Mother's Day. That's all I wanted. All I wanted was to sleep in. Everything else was a bonus. I was like, good attitude. I needed just— I needed sleep. I needed sleep. And I came downstairs and Seth had gotten me donuts and coffee. And Lily had made the table all pretty. I was happy right there. Oh no, that's terrible. Do you feel like it's because the baby got you used to getting up with him? Is that how it started, or have you always been like that?

That's a question for Rachel.

That's a question for Rachel. Um, I just feel like with my age that I get up and pee now, and that interferes with my sleep. And I try to stay half asleep so that I can go right back to bed, but I'm not alone, I'm not alone. I sleep so much better on the weekend, especially if we don't have to get up. I'm gonna love the summer, although Max is gonna have football in the morning, so—

I'll take him to football.

Okay, so I came downstairs, the table was all set up, I had slept in, Seth had gotten me donuts and coffee, And Lily had made the table all nice. And Ella and Lily made me homemade gifts at school. I thought I was done with that.

We thought we had aged out.

I was so excited. The last 5 years, I don't know what changed. I don't know, maybe it's— maybe as we— I don't know. I blame hormones for everything.

Yes, Rachel, it's the hormones.

I blame hormones for everything. So, okay, so Max is like, am I allowed? I love that he asked. Max is like, am I allowed to go to the gym? I like that he asked because he knows that it's Mother's Day, and Mother's Day, damn it, is about me. I'm sorry. And I didn't make it about me. I did make it about Max because Max wanted to go to the gym. But how nice to all go to the gym together.

Yes, we all went to the gym together. Mother's Day workout.

But As much as I loved that, like, that's great. Uh, then Lily was like, I'm not going for a nature walk, I just worked out. So usually for my birthday and Mother's Day, I like to do something outside, and I like to take our dog for a change of scenery and go for a nice family walk and enjoy the outdoors. And it was beautiful outside. Mother's Day is usually rainy, so that was unique. So we, so we dragged Lily on the walk. I told Lily, there's no whining on Mother's Day, like, what is that nonsense?

She did not entirely listen.

She doesn't. I was like, you know, you need to behave today. Like, I know that you like to challenge me. Like, I know that you think that's fun on a normal day, but today of all days, you need to be easy and not whine and not give me a hard time. So she did try. I don't know that she succeeded, right? But I definitely saw the effort.

There you go.

Okay. This is where I start to mess up, people. So I had had a— slept in, had a nice breakfast, went to the gym, went on a nice walk. Day was perfect other than Lily's whining. And then I come home and start doing laundry. Why? It's like I'm on automatic pilot. Like, take the day off, woman.

I would have done some loads of laundry.

Yeah, but it could wait till Monday. Why? Why did I start doing laundry?

Yes.

I can't even give myself a day off. Shame on me.

Shame on you.

So, so then Max is like, he was right, we're out of everything. He's like, mother, do you know that we're out of everything? This kid can eat. Have you seen my son? He's 16, he's huge, and he doesn't stop eating. Correct?

Correct.

You're going to say something.

I wouldn't label him huge, but he's a 16-year-old boy.

I'm sorry, he eats a lot. He's muscular.

Yes.

Okay, huge is the wrong word. He's got a physique.

He's bulking up for football.

He's got a physique. He's got a nice physique. He's not huge in a bad way, right? Huge in a good way. Yes, muscular. Yes, I'm sorry. Thank you for correcting me.

It's okay.

Okay, so I screwed up with the laundry, and then we had a list. Max and Seth wanted to go to Wegmans with me. Why did I go?

I said I could go for you. Stay home, honey.

All I needed to do was give my men the list and send them to Wegmans. But I do laundry and I go to Wegmans and we buy a ton of food that we needed, and I'm like, okay, we gotta do all this stuff before 5 o'clock because we have dinner reservations. Why? Why do I rush? Why do I try to fit as much as I can in? Why can't I take the day off? These are all questions that I'm asking myself, and I'm learning. I'm learning. So success grocery shopping, but totally exhausted. Like, I exhausted myself.

Yes, you were toast after that.

I was toast. I was toast on the way home from grocery shopping. It was a full day, and we are so lucky because our mothers live in town. I love having our family in town. I love that my kids have our parents in town. So we went out to dinner with our mothers. I wanted to see our mothers. I wanted to celebrate them for Mother's Day. And we go out to dinner and Seth's mom had requested we eat outside. Well, it's Buffalo. If you know Buffalo, in May it could be snowing, raining, or sunny. You just never know what you're gonna get. You could get snow tomorrow and the next day it could be hot. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Yes.

So I I had told you the nature walk was beautiful, but by the time we got to the restaurant, we were all freezing.

It got very cold. It wasn't snowing or raining, so there was that. It was just very cold.

Let's put it this way. I was exhausted and cold and ready to go home. We got to see our mothers and our— and, and, and Joe and my dad. We had a nice dinner. But we froze.

Yes.

And I came home and my— and Max and Ella had made me a homemade cake. They surprised me and made me a cake and I was so touched. Max had said to me, I'm giving you your present later. And I was like, he bought me a present? My son bought me a present? I'm like blown away right now.

It's a little more effort than buying a present.

I'm getting there. So I, so he was like, we're in the car and he's like, my present's not gonna be ready till later. And I was like, I was like, did, is Amazon delivering?

Yeah.

At like 7 o'clock.

They do do that.

You know how Amazon will say like, this is what time I'm coming.

I'm like, right.

What did he order?

Yeah.

Why is he saying it's not ready yet? I was so, he totally threw me off. I was very confused. So we come home from dinner and Max and Ella are so excited to serve me a cake. And I mean, how else can you end the day? Like, that was amazing. They made me a homemade delicious cake.

Actually, it was good.

And thank you, honey. It was amazing. Such a good present. I asked for kitchen sink cookies, but the cake was amazing.

Cake is better than those cookies.

One day they'll make me— they made me kitchen sink cookies one day. They were so good that I'm still thinking about them. So one day they will make them again. But the cake was delicious. It was a beautiful surprise. So you see that some of the stuff was wonderful, right?

Yes. And you had told me what you wanted for breakfast and pre-ordered it so I didn't have to wait in the long line to get it. Like, you've made— you make improvements every single year.

Well, so I like what you just said because I want, I want us to elaborate on that because I want women to give themselves permission to ask for what they want. And what is really nice is that Seth gives me that permission. So like, I don't want your husbands— like, I'm, I'm hoping that your husbands are receptive to it. I think that some people are afraid that their husbands aren't going to support what they want to do, or that their kids are going to give them a hard time. My kids weren't thrilled to go on a nature walk. They're like, oh, Mom wants to go on a nature walk.

But they do expect it now because on your birthday and Mother's Day, that's what you— you want a family adventure where we take the dog somewhere and see some nature.

Or we've done Darien Lake, we've done the beach, we've done the pool. I just want to be outside. The dog, the dog is a bonus but not required. Um, I have— I think what Seth is saying is I've trained them. Yes. To know that my birthday and Mother's Day are about me and they're gonna do something and they're going to be quiet and calm and behave. For family fun, it's— yes, it's forced family fun. Thank you for the language, because sometimes we have to force our kids to do things for us, and honestly, they always have a decent time. Sometimes they're like, okay, can we go home now? Which is fine with me. Like, I don't have a time requirement. I'm not like, you have to go to Darien Lake and you have to stay open to close.

No, we don't do that many rounds.

I've come a long way with that too.

Yes.

Because I know that their shelf life is like 2 hours, wouldn't you say?

2 to 3.

2 to 3. And then they're like, can we go home? Yep. So I have trained them. I tell them what I want. Sometimes I don't really know what I want, so I ask for suggestions. Sometimes I do research, like I wasn't sure where to go for dinner, so I did research. Where I wanted to go was closed. That's annoying.

Yeah.

Um, and my birthday's on a Sunday too, so it's going to be closed for my birthday. Yeah, it's a big bummer.

Can we go on Saturday?

I have a better idea. I thought of another restaurant.

Okay.

I thought of somewhere else. Okay. I just want lobster. So if you go somewhere that you love for lobster, Please let me know. I just want lobster for every birthday. Lobster and cake.

Yeah.

And I asked Max to make me— Max and Ella to make me an orange chocolate cake. So let's see if they pull this off. So I tell them what I want. I try to be specific. I ask for suggestions. Seth supports me.

Yep.

So we have to train our husbands to support us.

I freely admit that I did it wrong a number of times. It was painful. I got trained.

Well, I mean, it was my fault.

You expected me to surprise you but get it right with what you didn't know you really wanted? That did not go well.

I think that I was expecting you to read my mind, know what I wanted to do, plan something and make me happy.

Yes, without telling me any of this and keeping it a secret.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

We've come a long way.

Yes, yes.

So I did a lot right.

You did.

I told you what I wanted. Yes. I mean, what else did I get right? I'm just trying to learn from this. I was specific. I did research.

Yep.

Um, I did too much.

Yeah, also true.

I mean, do you think that that's the only thing I did wrong?

Yeah, if you hadn't done dishes, if you hadn't done laundry or grocery shopping, I think it would have been perfect.

Um, so the lesson is in general every day to do less. And what I want to tell you about that is my goal was to have better self-talk. I started to notice that I was talking negatively to myself, and I started to notice that I was being so nice to everyone else, and then I was listening to myself and what I was saying to myself, and I was frustrated. So I worked on it every day, and I'm still not perfect, but I see the improvement. So now I need to generalize that practice skill, and like, as we notice things that we maybe don't like that we're doing, then we have to practice on something else. So now I have to practice, and I didn't do a good job today. I have to practice on doing less. I don't know that that's the label.

You have to get your reps of less in.

I want to— I keep saying being more, doing less.

Yeah, that's right.

That's what I keep saying. Like, we're human beings. We're not human doings.

Yes.

So I think that I'm a robot. And I go, and I, and I'm like, okay, it's 6 AM and you're awake and you're going to be up until 11 PM, so let's see how much you can fit in the day and check off your to-do list. So that's not working for me. You've heard me say this before, I've worked on my self-talk. Now I need to start thinking, and I will do, I will do a blog and a vlog about this because I will start working on it. Now I need to come up with some strategies to do less in the day and practice it and remind myself.

That's a good idea.

So that's my new goal. That's a good goal because I'm frustrated with myself. So when I'm frustrated with myself, it means it's time to work on something.

For sure, it's a good action sign.

Well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw you under the bus. You too.

Okay, there I am.

Um, like attracts like. Like attracts like.

It does.

I think we both do too much.

Okay, I mean, I'll slow down.

You keep saying that.

I know, I'm waiting for you and then I'll do it. Well, I'll, I'll put it off till tomorrow.

I, I get all showered and dressed, dressed and come downstairs and it's like 6:20, 6:30, and he's been already working at the computer.

Getting a jump on that day. So anyways, you missed the workout before then.

I, I saw you work out and then go to your computer. I see, I have eyes everywhere.

I guess so, Mama knows.

So I did a lot right. Yes, I still have some work to do.

You made awesome progress.

I've made awesome progress. I would love to hear what you learned from Mother's Day. I would love to hear what you're working on for yourself. Made strides in the self-talk department. I'm gonna keep practicing that every day, and I'm moving to reminding myself to take breaks and slow down, right?

Yes.

Yes. Okay, well, don't yell at me, but I didn't check who was on the podcast.

There's a podcast on Friday. You should go check it out on YouTube or iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Amazon, Audible, or Pandora.

I'm trying to picture who the person is.

The week after Mother's Day, so it's after my mother. Who'd you—

is it Free to Be? I'm trying to remember who it is. Darn it.

Somebody awesome saying awesome things that will help you, so go listen to it.

I have interviewed some wonderful women recently. I mean, I love most— I love everyone that I talk to. I, I love that I get to do this. So a new one comes out on Friday, so please listen, and thank you for listening.

And, um, comment, share, subscribe, message my wife to get into the Winey Palooza Mom group on Facebook.

We have the May Mother's Day challenge. Alex, Alex Rodburn won. I dropped off her prize today, and, uh, May is rocking and rolling.

We're in May Madness.

It's— we're in May Madness.

You're more than halfway through.

May is exhausting.

You can do it.

I'm gearing up for the next party at school.

You can do it.

I can do it.

I can do it.

It's gonna be great.

Ella, are you gonna sing us out?

Coming!

Oh boy, can you tell that I'm fading? I think it's bedtime. Oh, come here. Thank you for watching Money Blues Wednesday with the Greene family. Thank you, honey. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us. Have a wonderful week.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback.

Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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