Episode 249: A New Kind Of Summer

No need to whine, it's whiny palooza. Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene. Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family. Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

We're coming to you live from the pool deck.

We're switching it up, I just realized I'm on the wrong side.

You want to switch?

I don't want to switch.

I think every side is your good side.

Well, it's not about my good side, it's about what I'm used to.

Okay.

Should I take these off or is it okay with the mom?

It's— you're cool.

You are going to hear a lot about this beautiful pool behind us, and Seth says my new nails remind him of the ocean.

They're ocean nails.

So it's perfect for this time of year, and all I want to do is sit right here.

Yep.

So we're trying to sit in our Adirondack chairs and, uh, also be on the camera. So if you live near us, the weather has been absolutely gorgeous this week. I don't know if we're going to be as lucky next week, but we're going to live in the moment right now.

Yep.

And it's been a beautiful week, and I hope it's here to stay. And I'm ready for summer.

Yay, summer!

So tomorrow is June 1st. So, um, I posted my Whiny Flues and Mom group today was Buckle Up for June. Seth, did you see it?

The June Jungle, baby!

Oh, I forgot that I call it May Madness and the June Jungle. So my birthday— yes, my birthday month starts tomorrow. My, my June challenge starts tomorrow. So ask me for an invite to the Winey Pools and Mom group and come do the June challenge with me.

Yep.

Um, okay, so June challenge, June jungle. Oh, my birthday, that's what I was saying. So my birthday is June 25th, which to me is perfection. Because I celebrate because it's the end of school.

Yay!

So, and you were born, and I was born, but I was born at the perfect time according to you. According to me, according to me, I was born on the perfect day at the perfect time at the end of school. And maybe we'll have a pool party.

That's a great idea.

You know, the kids are talking about Ella's talking about having a drama club pool party.

Yep.

Lily's talking about having a lunch table pool party. Uh, Max and I have been talking about going, going gym and then partying in the pool with his friends. As for me, yes, what if I have a pool party for me?

I think you should have a pool party for you. I don't know that the pool's big enough for all your friends.

What if we go back to pool parties for my birthday? That's what I used to do when I was little.

I missed out on those.

Listen, my mom would still—

my mom would still bring your girlfriends over and she would make some snacks.

She would still let me have pool parties. But my topic this week is a new kind of summer.

What's a new kind of summer?

Now you are going to love this. I am. You—

I know.

So my— I am a giver. And when my children want something, I do my best to give it to them. Do I say no? More than anyone knows.

It's a secret.

It's not a secret. I say no.

You don't tell me that you say no. I used to the credit.

I know, you know that I say no.

Okay, she says no sometimes apparently. Okay, this has happened.

I love to say yes to them.

Yep.

If it's anything to do with safety, The answer is no. Safety, if I have a safety—

No violating the safety rule.

If I have a safety concern, they're like, "Oh, she's so overprotective." But I don't bend on my safety concerns. But everything else, if they ask me for something, I do my best to make it happen, such as camps. So when they would ask me for camps, I would be like, "Of course." That's the business. And I would just sign them up. For every single camp they asked for. And Seth would be like, what the frig happened? Like, what's with all of these charges?

Yep, what's going on with our debit card? And then what's going on with the calendar that was supposed to be easier in summer and you now have more activities than you did when they were in school?

So what I used to do, I'm not gonna tell you I'll never do it again. What I used to do is I used to sign them up for whatever camps they wanted and our whole summer was busy. And I literally spent the summer in my car.

And I'm complaining about—

and I would be annoyed because this one had to be picked up at this time and this one had to be picked up at this time. And even if they were in the same location, they weren't the same age group, so I would still be there at different times. So this summer, uh, Lily started this off with telling me that I overscheduled her last summer.

Good awareness on her part.

Now mind you, she asked for all those things that she got over-scheduled for. Thank you! So she didn't know what she was doing. I should have said something.

She just, "This looks good and this looks good and I have a friend who's doing this one so I gotta join." And I was like, "Fashion camp and cheerleading camp and..." Cupcake Wars.

Whatever. I don't know. We signed her up for a bunch of camps. All of them.

Yeah, I did not have anything to do with this.

And she felt over-scheduled and she was like, "Oh God, another camp. I just want to relax." So she told me several times, she's like, don't forget, I don't want to be overscheduled this summer. And I felt some anxiety because we know how Lily can be.

Yep, and you're gonna be the one home with her.

So I was like, a little bit of anxiety at first when she kept saying that because I was like, part of why I signed her up for so much is because she needs stimulation.

Keep her busy and out of your hair.

And she loves to be with her friends and she loves to be stimulated. So we're gonna see how this goes, but we're gonna have a new summer. We've never done this before. She does not want— she signed up for one camp with her friends, uh, one camp.

That's it.

Ella signed up for a camp that we canceled because we're going to my nephew's bar mitzvah.

And, um, oh, did we officially cancel that?

I did cancel that.

Okay, I did not know that.

Yeah, so we can figure out travel plans. We can figure out exact dates and everything.

Yep.

Um, so Ella does not want to sign up for any camps at this point, so Ella is signed up for zero.

Camp Mom, Camp Pool.

And Max wants to do an internship. Max is doing an internship.

Yep.

So our summer isn't totally free.

And an SAT course.

Oh geez, you're adding more? What else?

They never got taken off the— this was never removed. It's always been there.

Are you doing this or am I doing this?

Yes, I'm taking him.

When is this SAT course?

I gotta get the— they gotta give me the dates. It's in August.

Is it in August every week? Every day?

No, it's— I'll get information when I get it, honey.

Okay, so we're adding SAT stuff.

I didn't know that you thought it wasn't on there. We talked about it.

Max officially started driving lessons today.

Yes, from— not from his parents.

Um, so I talked to the driving instructor and I was right.

I had to get that one in there.

And he— and I said, well, his parents have been teaching him for 4 months. And the driving instructor was like, and his parents have been teaching him wrong. And I'm like, well, you don't know what we've been teaching him right and what we've been teaching him wrong.

He just assumed that.

So he gave me a couple examples of stuff that, like, we don't know to teach him to the driving test, right?

I know how to teach him how to drive, not necessarily the what they're looking for on the test.

So the driver—

the driver— and you'll be all right.

The driving instructor knows how to teach to the test.

Yes.

And will listen to a driving instructor more so than some people.

So, so, so we are not going to tell you anything because he's not going to tell you if the driving instructor agreed with you, and then you'll be like, see, I told you so.

I won't do that to him. I should probably— maybe you should preface it with, if you tell me something, I won't say I told you so.

That's enthralling.

I don't know, maybe you could help me with the wording of that, or maybe we could just leave them alone. So we do have a few things this summer, but yes, it's not crazy. So many less camps. I was like, listen, children, now I don't know if I'm going to get my wish, but I was like, let's wake up and go to the gym and come home and swim, and we can make food together, and we can read. And I have this whole vision. Let's see how this goes.

Yes, if you're relaxing, chill out, summer.

It's all I'm expecting. I'm expecting them constantly gonna want to have friends over, and that's just not a bad thing, right? I want downtime. I want family alone time, but I'm sure there will be friends here a lot.

Yes, well, you now have a pool.

So my friend got a pool and we were signing— I was signing Lily up for all these camps and I was asking her, does daughter want to sign up for this with Lily? She want to sign up for this with Lily? And she is like, Rebecca, you are crazy. I want to be in my backyard. I do not want to be driving my children around to camps all summer. That is not how I want to spend my summer.

Was this last year?

And this was last year, just clarifying. And I was like, that is crazy. Like, why wouldn't you want—

How dare you sit in your backyard and relax?

I was like, what is she thinking? And now, like, I have to tell her that I have arrived and understand that is also what she wants, right? She has a pool, she has a swing set, she has a whole oasis for her children. And she's like, go play in the backyard. What happened to that? Do you remember that?

We used to live in the backyard. Come in for— go, go get out of the house, come back for dinner.

I feel like I spent a lot more time just playing outside and a lot less time at camps.

Yes.

Did you do any camps?

I mean, we didn't have these like Weeks of Wonders. At least I wasn't aware of them.

I mean, no, I think that's new.

Yeah, I think I did, um, I did Centerland once. I did Lakeland, which was sleepaway camp, for I think 2 weeks. And I did Boy Scout, like, survival camp. And I think that was it. Those were the 3 camps I did in my childhood. Grand total of probably 3 or 4 weeks.

So if you—

you're not like— to you—

so if you— well, I want us both to be on. I'm doing my best.

You're doing great.

So if the summer is 8 weeks, did you have camp every summer during that 8 weeks a little bit, or no?

No, because I didn't go Centerland was one, I think, one week for one year, so it would have been just that week. I think I did Lakeland for two weeks one summer, and Boy Scout camp one summer for like two weeks. So no, I was not gone the whole summer, and that was only three summers. Like, all the rest of time I didn't do any camps, if that helps.

I'm just curious because I didn't do camps.

Like, I signed my kids up for camps, as you may have just elucidated to me perhaps they didn't have these when we were kids.

They did not. Well, they did have camps, but they did not have this one week of this, one week of that, one week of that.

You go for there for a couple hours. Yeah, like ours, it was sleepaway camp was the option basically, and you weren't going to do that, not out in like a cabin or a tent or in the nature.

I am the worst.

You can't camp at the pool.

I am the worst Girl Scout leader. On the plans.

You are not, cut it out. You just aren't a camper.

Oh, can they camp on the deck?

Of the pool?

Can they just camp right here on the deck? Make a tent right here?

You're gonna need a nice pad to make it comfortable for the sleeping bag.

Oh my gosh, so I wanna preface this with, if you are a parent, I did summer camp for 8 weeks for many summers and loved it.

All right, Rachel.

So Rachel, a lot of people went to sleepaway camp all summer And I wanted nothing to do with that.

But, um, your mother really have let you— if you said, Mom, I want to go away for 8 weeks. No, exactly.

But a lot of people did, and a lot of people do now. Yes, that is true.

A lot of people go to sleepaway camp, send their kids away and get the summer to themselves.

So I do want to preface this whole topic with the fact that some parents work all day, or, and they have to send their kids to camp. And I respect that. That's— this is— has nothing to do with that's a totally different situation. I work at home and I can watch them and I can help them and I can entertain them. Yes, right. So it's a different situation. Camp Centerland and Camp Lakeland.

Look, I did both of those, Rachel.

I think that a lot of, um, kids went to Lakeland like all summer, don't you think?

You could. I only did 2 weeks, but you could do— you could do more than one session.

Yes, you could do a lot of weeks. So you did 8 weeks and loved it. Wow, that's impressive. I want to know when you started going and when you ended going, and then did you become a camp counselor? 3 and a half weeks. That's awesome.

Yay.

Okay, so I want you to design your summer, and I want it to look like what to look like, and I want you to think about it and plan it and make it happen. And whether that's camps for your kids or no camps for your kids and relaxing and letting them say they're bored, I want you to do what works for you. And I don't want us to compare ourselves to other people because everybody has their own vision of what summer should look like.

Yep.

My vision of summer is floating in any body of water. And, uh, you know, I'm gonna go to my parents' pool, I'm gonna go to my pool, I'm gonna go to my friend's pool, and I'm just thinking maybe I'll just— the stamp card.

Oh my God.

And maybe it'll be a punch card.

Do you get something for free if you do it enough times?

Maybe see how many pools I can spend my days in all summer.

The Rebecca punch card.

Is that a great idea? So are you excited for for the fact that I'm going to be home more?

Yes.

Are you excited to relax more this summer?

Very much.

Are you happy that I didn't sign them up for 50 camps this summer?

Yes, we bought a pool camp which covers camps for many summers.

That is accurate.

There we go.

I guess we don't have the best connection outside. Side.

But you're back.

I didn't think this through.

It's another Wi-Fi extender for pool.

Well, now we know we can do this on the deck. That's kind of exciting.

Yes.

So where were we? What was I saying? Oh, the camps, Seth, would never cost as much as the pool.

No, but if we added them up for the next 20 years—

well, we only have 8 more years, right? And not even.

All right, well, let's just lump it all together.

So we do have summer goals.

Yes.

Goal number 1 is Max's license, making his driver's license. Goal number 2 is the driving lessons and the SAT course and the internship. It's a lot of Max goals. What is our goal? What are our goals for the girls?

I think they want— they can be— they want to relax.

So Ella wants— Ella worked her buns off this year. She took 3 honors classes, 3 high school classes. Yeah, so she's going to high school having already taken 3 high school classes.

Yes.

Oh my gosh. So Ella worked her buns off this year and really wants some downtime. And, uh, Lily's gonna cheerlead, so we do have that.

Is that the one camp or is that additional?

Cheerleading is going to be in the evenings. I don't know how many evenings a week.

This isn't the camp, this is the This is the team thingy. Got it. I forgot about that.

I know, I wanted a free summer.

Well, you drastically reduced it. Maybe next year you'll actually do it.

Maybe next year it will be even less. Let's see how we like it.

Maybe Max can drive Lily to cheerleading.

Let's see how many times I hear "I'm bored." Yes. Oh, she deserves her downtime. Great hard-working kiddo. Rachel, she works so hard, and she's like, she's, "Mom, I need a break." I'm like, "Ella, what happened to the Shakespeare theater camp that you wanted to do?" Oh, so I said to Ella—

You told me that we were doing that.

I said to Ella, "Let's talk to your drama club friends and see if anyone wants to do the Shakespeare camp with you." And she was like, "I don't think I want to sign up for anything." I did not know this. So we will ask her again because she might change her mind.

Well, you got to change your mind before it fills up.

So that is part of the issue, is that if they change their mind, might be sold out. So one of the things I'm going to give you, you— I'm going to give you this, this mom pointer, which a lot of you already know, is if the camps opened at 7:00 AM in the morning, I was on the computer at 7:00 AM signing them up. And then other moms would text me at like 10 AM and say, "They're closed, they're closed." Oh, we can't do it together. And I was like, "You gotta sign up at 7 AM when it opens." And I think it opened at midnight this year. So anyways, sign up before it closes, get in before it's filled up. And if my children change their mind, they're out of luck.

That's right.

So we're gonna have a new kind of summer.

Yes.

It's gonna be wonderful. I'm probably gonna hear that they're bored, but that's okay. Yes, boredom is not a bad word.

That's right.

And maybe, maybe Ella will find some crafting and some guitar playing, and maybe she will find her hobbies to be entertaining this summer.

Yes.

And what's your plans this summer?

I'm working.

You're working?

Yeah.

Are you gonna work every day the whole summer?

No, I will take some time off.

Maybe random days here and there.

Random days.

And I'm not gonna say I'm never gonna say let's go on a summer family adventure.

I know that I'm not permanently off the hook.

So I will spend a lot of time right here.

Yes.

In this very deck.

Yes.

And I will not drag you around town.

That's good. I'm gonna show everybody There's the pool.

They've seen it. Okay, well, I guess a lot of people haven't. So if you're listening to this, because this is going to be released on the podcast next week.

Yes.

But if you're listening and you're not watching, you probably don't know that you can watch it on YouTube and Facebook.

Yes.

So the marketing man genius next to me puts things in lots of places.

She said it, that's recorded. I got that now forever.

What, marketing man genius, whatever? Yeah, that official title, marketing magician. Is that what they call you?

They call me lots of things.

You've been called lots of things, mostly by you. So one of the wonderful teachers at school is like, so you have to pay to do the podcast?

And I was like, no, she gets it for free. I—

you, you really should. People should, but I use the marketing.

All of our other clients— Rebecca does generate more than enough revenue to cover her expenses.

That's true.

Yes.

We never talked about that. We'll have to talk about that off camera.

Oh boy. So who's on the podcast on Friday?

Oh honey, why didn't I—

Oh, you didn't check? Somebody awesome is on the podcast and they're going to say some awesome stuff.

I'm going to guess—

and you should listen to it—

I'm going to guess that it was the fabulous school counselor that I learned so much from.

Yes.

And if I'm correct, you're going to love her, and I think I am correct. And I get to talk to these amazing experts every week, all the time. Um, I, I was the other day that I have had more growth It's— well, it's been over 2 years.

Yep.

So is— so how many years ago?

I could go look it up, but I don't have it memorized.

So June— so my birthday, 3 years ago, we might have started it.

I'll go check it out.

So I think this October is going to be 3 years, and I have had more growth than I have ever had in my life because I talk to parenting and marriage experts all the time. And I get to ask them any questions that I want to ask them, and I get to learn and grow all the time. So I realize that they're reinforcing stuff I know that I forgot, and they're teaching me new stuff, and I get to share it with you, and I get to grow as a person.

Yes.

And you said something today about loving watching me evolve.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

You've watched over these last few years how the podcast has made me grow.

Yes. Pre-podcast Rebecca and post-podcast Rebecca.

That's interesting. Do you have anything to say about post-podcast Rebecca?

I like her better.

You like her better?

Yes.

Is there anything— and I want to put you on the spot.

You put me on the spot.

Okay, so there's nothing significant to share.

I'm sure I could come up with a list, but I don't have it right now. Okay, well, maybe you're calmer, you're more centered, you're more open, you're more flexible, you're more patient, you're less reactive. How's that?

Okay, so I think that the biggest—

Except if I screw up buying the tickets to the musical. Other than that—

I'm not always calm.

True.

But I'm calmer.

Yes, definitely.

Okay, so what I already knew and what has been reinforced over and over and over as I talk to experts is I already knew that I had to keep myself calm and centered to have any effect, to have a more positive effect as a parent.

Correct.

And I heard it so many times that I really worked on being— and I, I am— don't do this all the time, but I really worked on being more calm and centered as a mom so that when my kids were reacting, I wasn't going on the roller coaster with them.

Yes.

So what I was doing, just because I was kind of letting myself just go with my emotions is I was just kind of like riding it, the wave, with them and going up with them and making it worse.

Yeah.

Instead of keeping myself centered so that they could ride their wave and come back down quicker because I was already staying calm for them.

Yes.

And much better, right? So I was being the anchor in their storm instead of making the storm worse.

Exactly.

So I think that I I think that's my biggest shift as a parent since starting the podcast. And I think it's because every single expert was saying the same exact thing.

Rebecca Greene.

And I was like, how many times I'm going to tell you, we need a lot of repetition. Repetition is the mother of skill. So I was like, how many times am I going to have to hear the same thing before I change as a mother? So I have changed as a mother significantly and hopefully as a wife too.

You're fabulous.

Well, still, still evolving. Freaked out about musical tickets.

You saw that podcast. If not, go back and watch it.

Oh my gosh. So anyways, I'm gonna have a new kind of summer. It's gonna be lovely.

What's the June challenge?

It's gonna be more relaxing. Um, well, I gotta design. I gotta design. I find myself struggling more lately with remaining calm and centered at a feel— feels like one struggle doesn't end before the next begins. It's like there's never a break.

Yes, Jody, we understand.

I will tell you that I've gotten much better at realizing that we have to put ourselves in timeout.

Timeout is very good for you.

So it used to be that Lily and I would stay in the same room and escalate And now either I stay calm, or if it feels like that, Jodi, if it feels like it's one thing and then another thing and then another thing and I feel myself all over the place, I just remove myself because I can't center myself in the middle of chaos all the time. And I want to tell you sincerely that you are not alone, that motherhood can be super chaotic and can feel like so much is being thrown at me all the time. The kids, the dog, the house, the work, the volunteer work, the husband.

The least of that stress. Well, like, I try and reduce your stress.

You do, but like, I was in and out of my car 50 times and I was like, I need, you know, and then Lily was like, but I'm starving, and I was like, I can't drive you all around and be in the kitchen. Like, you have to give me— I'm like, give me 20 minutes.

I'm like, I can forget Rachel Ray and her 30-minute meals. Rebecca Greene's got 20-minute meals. She upped the game.

I was like, I can cook this whole meal in 20 minutes, but like, I have to actually be in the kitchen to cook for you. I can't be in my car and cook, and, and Maggie and Ella's asking me something else. And anyways, Jody, I hope you get some calmness.

Yes.

And if you don't get some calmness, give yourself some calmness and remove yourself. That's my two cents.

Yes, hide in timeout.

Hide in timeout. And sometimes I will tell Seth that I am going to timeout.

And sometimes I put myself in timeout.

You— yes. Oh my God, when you go and storm up to the bedroom, I know it's not good.

We're in the basement to the punching bag.

Oh my God, if I, if I piss seth off really bad, he either storms to our bedroom to get away from me, or he storms to the basement to pound the punching bag. At least I know your pattern.

Yes, it's not a secret.

Oh my gosh. Okay, well, go enjoy this beautiful weather this week. Yes, design your summer how you want it to look.

Tell us what you want your summer to look like.

I would love to hear what your ideal summer would look like. And, uh, ask me to come to the— to mom group because the June challenge starts tomorrow and I want to give away prizes.

She loves giving away prizes. Let her be Oprah and give you something.

I gotta—

you get a prize and you get a prize.

It's fun.

I know.

Oh my gosh, I sent— when I send any sort of food to anybody, I think food is the winner. Okay, this is what I want to know. I'm gonna post this in my group. Do you want food as your prize, or do you want actual, like, physical stuff? I want to know. And I want to know what you want your summer to look like. Um, okay, so have a wonderful evening. Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for watching Winey Blues Wednesday with the Greene Family.

I know, where's Ella? Ella's not out here with us.

Well, you told her she didn't have to.

Mistake number 57.

57. I don't see any other mistakes today.

Okay everyone, have a good week. See you next week. Bye. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

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