Episode 251: Father's Day Special- My Son Interviews My Husband

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No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Greene for the Whiny Booza Podcast, and I am very, very excited today because we have a Father's Day special for you, and my wonderful son Max— who, our wonderful son Max, sorry honey, thank you— is going to come over here and interview my husband and his father. So Seth, thank you for doing this.

Well, thank you for having me back once again.

So the first question I have for you is, why did you want to be a dad?

Wow, that's a— we're starting off right in the deep end. Why did I want to be a dad? I— there's a positive and a negative answer to that question. I'm sure you've experienced this as our son. You look at your parents and you're like, oh, I would have done that differently, or, oh, one day when I have kids, I want to do X, Y, and Z. So I've thought that, um, about my own parents, and I wanted to— the journey. I wanted to see what kind of man I would become as I grew as a father. And I also wanted to raise awesome kids, which I've done.

Thank you. Well, you've been an awesome dad.

Thank you.

And the next question I have for you is, what do you like best about being a dad?

Wow, these are good questions. What do I like best about being a dad? I like— so your mother and I are going to disagree probably about this. So your mother, I believe, has said, I went to school once. I don't want to go to school again. I don't want to go through tests and exams and all that stuff again. And she says, we're going through it with you. I enjoy seeing the world through your eyes. I like watching you go through each stage and getting to experience it differently because it's not me in it anymore. I'm watching you do it.

So you got to relive the world through a new perspective.

Through 3 new perspectives, yes.

Well, the next question I have for you is, what is the hardest part about being a dad?

Letting you do things yourself. I want to— jump in and fix everything. And I've had to learn that sometimes when you or your sisters come to me, come to us with a challenge or a problem, you don't necessarily want it solved. I had to learn that lesson with your mother too. She doesn't necessarily want me to fix everything. And I think letting go, letting you learn your own lessons and make your own mistakes— when I'm like, oh, if they would just listen, I could save them from all of this— but then you don't learn anything. So I think that is the hardest part, is letting you do it yourself.

And what, what did you learn from your dad that helped you become a good dad?

So I could probably, if I had time, I could probably come up with a list. My dad was always there for me. Um, he was a great listener. He was really good at giving advice, still is. He was very chivalrous towards my mother while they were together. So I got to, you know, he held open doors and pulled out chairs and was very patient with us. And I think all of those things have helped make me a better father.

And you said that you saw things that you would do differently from your parents. And what are some of those things?

Honey, what am I allowed to answer here? Um, what would I do different? What did I want to do differently? I am a different— I communicate differently than my dad has. So he knows this. I am much more emotionally open and available and in touch with my feelings. He was— I would say he was more the strong silent type, right? He never raised his voice. He never yelled. The worst thing my dad could do, at least in my perception, was tell me he was disappointed in me. And I had had friends whose parents yelled. I had had friends who did other things. And I was like, man, that would be easier than this. Just soft. I'm so disappointed in you. Like, that made me feel like worse than any yelling could have. So I've tried to be really emotionally open and available and in touch with my feelings with all of you. And I see how you guys express your feelings. And I know that it helped because I've gotten to show you things that my dad didn't show me that you've benefited from.

And what are you most afraid of as a dad?

These are good questions. What am I most afraid of? Well, Tony Robbins would say our two biggest fears as humans is the fear of not being good enough and that you won't be loved. So I'm going to go with the fear of failure. I think I've already accomplished that. Probably that you guys would make a mistake that was so significant that it affected our relationship or your relationship with yourself. And then maybe I'm afraid I wouldn't know how to help you recover from that. I'm not entirely sure. Thankfully, I haven't thought about it too much. You haven't made me, so that's helpful.

What would be a mistake of that caliber?

I don't know. I'll have to get back to you on that one. If your mother likes to say she really wants to make sure that we're all law-abiding citizens, you're, you're all law-abiding citizens, so maybe something negative in that department. I don't know. I honestly haven't thought about it, thankfully.

Well, what's one thing you still want to do as dad?

Wow. What's one thing I still want to do as a dad? Watch you graduate high school and college, watch all three of you get married and grow up, watch you achieve your dream. I think that would be a good list to start.

How am I like you?

So you've got my work ethic for sure. You've got my ambition. You are very, very persistent. When you have something you want, you go after it. You are intrinsically motivated. You're not waiting for other people to give you an idea or tell you what to do. You just go do things that you want and you work towards them and you get them. You're really smart, but that also— 50% of that is your mother. It's not just me. So I'll go with those 3 for now.

And how do I remind you of Mom?

Well, you got the best parts of your mother. So you are warm, you are kind, you are sweet, you are thoughtful. I watch you be a great big brother with your sisters. And even when you might not want to play in the pool with Lily, you still do a great job and I see how they look up to you and that warms my heart. And I know I can picture you in the future being wonderful with your future spouse and your kids and the warmth and the kindness and the thoughtfulness. I'm going to give your mother the credit for those.

And who has been influential to you in your life other than Mom?

There's a list. So, I mean, it depends on which— Tony Robbins, Dan Kennedy, Russell Brunson, Jay Abraham, Rich Sheffrin. That's mostly if we're talking business and marketing. Tony would apply on the personal side. I would say my parents, certainly growing up. That would probably be my list at the moment.

And what do you like best about your job?

Which one? What do I like best about— I'll say about being a serial entrepreneur. Every day is different. I'm in control of my own destiny. I don't have to ask anyone for permission. I can— there is no limit on what I can do and who I can help and the impact I can have on the world. The only limits are those I create in my own mind or accept as someone else's social construct.

If you could go back and redo one thing from your life, what would that one thing be?

I only get one? I'm picking more than one. I would have met your mother sooner so I could love her longer and would have had you guys sooner. I would not have tried to drag you to soccer practice against your will when you were like 8. I would have let you play football sooner if I had known how good— how much fun you were going to have and how good you were going to be. Let's go with that for now. I'm sure I could come up with a much longer list.

Do you think you were ready to meet mom earlier?

Well, I'm not saying earlier like 5 or 10 years earlier, but a couple years earlier, yes, for sure.

And personally, I think that dragging me to soccer practices helped teach me the work ethic that you have.

I appreciate that. I was referring to one specific incident.

I remember that one specific instance.

I would like to— the rest of them I'll keep. I'd like to take that one back because that was not— that was a safety violation, to use your mother's words.

I remember standing on the top of the stairs.

Yes, yes. I'm sorry about that. I'm not proud of that moment.

It's all I remember, thankfully.

Awesome. Well, at least the scar didn't— the emotional scars didn't go too deep.

What about being a dad makes you feel the most happy?

Watching what you and your sisters do with yourselves. I mean, like, watching what you desire, watching what you accomplish, watching, more importantly, the kind of human beings you are. You're all really good, sweet, thoughtful people. You're all making the world a better place just by being in it. I think that's it. I think we will leave the world better than when we found— your mother and I will leave the world better than when we found it by contributing, if nothing else, the three of you to the world.

And what is your proudest accomplishment as a dad? In other words, who's your favorite kid?

There's too— it depends on the moment. There's too many to list. So I mean, every award you've ever won, every save you ever made, every— pass you, every play you ever did well, every soccer or football play you ever did well, every role Ella Lilly ever played, every dance she ever did. But I think more than the things that you do, watching the three of you with each other is probably the best part.

And what were family traditions that you grew up with that you wish to continue?

These are really good questions. Family traditions. Well, your mother start— we've kind of started some of our own. I like— doing the Jewish holidays with my family because it makes me feel connected to our ancestors. I like your mother's fun outdoor adventures that she wants to go on. Those are good. I like our family trips and vacations. And I'd like to, you know, eventually when she— never will happen, but when she gets a little bit bored of Disney, take you further away, go further away than that. And explore more of the world.

How would you feel if one of your children disagreed with one of your values?

It depends on the value and the reason why. I don't want you to be parrots. I don't want you to just be copies of us. I want you to be better than us. So there could be a value I've held that could— you could show me a better way. And I'm open-minded enough to say, huh, maybe you learned something I didn't. You learn stuff I don't know every single day. So it would depend on the value. So you could do it in a way that would improve upon what I thought, and I'd be proud and happy about that. Disagreeing in a negative way on something that's kind of important, I don't know, that'd be kind of frustrating. But hopefully I'll never have to worry about that too much. So far, so good.

How did you get over your insecurities?

I'm still working on it every day. I— it depends on the insecurity you're talking about. I think if you get enough reps in of something, you ultimately Tony, Tony Robbins says confidence is like there's pillars of belief and you have to have 3 multiple legs in the stool and as much evidence as possible. So I was talking to this about one of your sisters the other day about making a list of all of the positive reasons about something and then looking at it every day and adding to that list every single day. And eventually the, you know, it sinks in.

What is an underrated skill that you want me to learn?

Underrated skill? I don't know that any— I don't, I don't know that any of the skills I think you have that I would label them underrated. You know what, I'm gonna say I'll take some lessons from my own marriage and say cleaning, organization, dishes, the stuff your mother probably wishes I did a better job of. And you may think I'm a single guy and then I'm gonna go to college and then I'm gonna get an apartment And you might not think it's important, but your future girlfriends and spouses will think it's important.

Yeah. What business advice do you have for your children?

Start one yesterday. There's, so there's no greater lab in my opinion for developing yourself as a person than trying to grow a business. The highs are higher, the lows are lower. There are more challenges and more opportunities for growth in doing that. Than you could— than I think you could ever get working for someone else. Can you grow as a person working for someone else? Of course, I did it before I started my own businesses, but it has taken me to a whole new level of personal growth dealing with the challenges that come with trying to grow your own company.

Do you think it's on par with raising children?

Different. So my bit in my— so I have the three of you as, as our children. At work, I have a lot more kids. Right? There's the staff and then there's all of the clients. So there are many more demands made on me at work. I think it's comparable. I think it's different. I am more emotionally invested in the three of you. However, all of those other people put food on our table and allow me to feed all of the people who work for us. So I think it's comparable but different.

And what do you wish for your children?

I'll leave the world a better place than you found it. And I hope that you do something and be something and share it with someone. And I hope that all three of those things make you happy.

What is the key to a happy marriage?

That's a setup and a list. So the key to a happy marriage is— so in my opinion, marriage isn't a place you go to get your needs met. I think marriage is a place you go to give. And I think every day, how can I improve our lives together and how can I do something for her So I think keys for a happy marriage is it's not about you. It's all about the other person. And if you give everything you've got and they give everything they've got, together 1 1 a lot more than 2. And I don't just mean because you multiply and have kids.

And what sort of risks are associated with marriage to you?

What sort of risks? There's the risk— I mean, theoretically, there's the risk that it could not work out, right? 50% of marriages end in divorce. Don't be a statistic. There's the risk every day that I'm going to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing and upset your mother. I try not to do that. I try and do that as little as possible. I haven't perfected it yet. And there's the risk that, you know what, your feelings are going to get hurt. The other person is going to do something to upset you. You're going to do something to upset the other person. I think that's part of it. I think that's part of how you grow. But the high— I mean, sharing emotion magnifies emotion and That, that's why you feel more intense when you go to the, the stadium and watch a football game with 60,000 people as opposed to watching by yourself. I think in a marriage you can magnify both positive and negative emotions. We've done both. There's no other— there's no place you can feel more alive, more love, more happiness than in a committed monogamous relationship, in my opinion.

And how does that marriage grow you as a person?

I think you take two people who come from different backgrounds and have— while they might share some beliefs, they're going to have different beliefs on everything from how to load the dishwasher to how to discipline their kids. Learning to resolve those differences, those conflicts, and work together and make things better together makes you a better person every day. I probably learn something from my relationship with your mother every day.

Is there anything else that you want to share with me about fatherhood or business?

Business? We could do a month-long nonstop seminar. So probably I'm going to say I am thrilled to be your dad, and I can't wait one day to watch you, watch you with your kids.

I'm thrilled to be your son. Thank you.

Okay, well, Max did a wonderful job interviewing you. Did you enjoy that?

Yeah, I mean, I gotta think about— I want to see the list of questions because there's something I need to think about.

I'm really impressed with him, and he added some more, which really impressed me. You're doing such a good job with our kids. Why do you think you're such a good dad?

I work really hard at it. I think about it every day. I try and improve. I try and find something that I could do better next time every day.

Well, thank you for having children with me.

Thank you for making them with me.

Happy Father's Day.

Thank you very much. Thanks for making me a dad.

This is Rebecca Greene reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving.

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