Episode 254: This is 47

No need to whine, it's whiny palooza. Have some wine and join us on the whiny palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the whiny palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone. Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

No need to wine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday.

Here, I'll cheers you.

Grab some wine and join us. Whiny Blues Wednesday with the Greene family.

I got my water vat. Her vat.

I shouldn't call it a Stanley, it's called a vat.

My vat of water. Uh, today is a very exciting day because it is not only the first day of summer, if you don't know that, it is the last day of school for my kids. All—

yes, in our school district, all three.

Some people still have school tomorrow. Some people still have an exam tomorrow. My kids all finished today on the same day, so I am so happy for them and I'm so happy for me. And it's summertime. It is officially summertime. So this blog title should be, it's officially summer, but it's not.

It is not.

So on Sunday I get the pleasure of turning 47.

Yay, happy birthday!

And every birthday is a gift an honor and a blessing. And I want to start by saying that I want us to celebrate our birthdays. I want us to embrace them and celebrate them and enjoy them. I— why do I look forward to my birthday? People have asked me that question.

You're gonna get lobster.

Okay, so the tradition is that I get lobster every birthday, and we started that tradition when I was little. I think Linda, my mom's very— one of her very best friends, took me out for lobster dinner. Her birthday is the day before mine, and we went out for a lobster dinner, and it proceeded. I think I was 8 or 10 years old, and so it's been like many years of— many years of lobster on my birthday. So that is exciting, but I also like celebrating the year doing something fun. And I think that I may make an orange chocolate cake.

I can't buy you one, it's your birthday. You should do bacon.

It might be fun to try to make one. I'm gonna go—

you're gonna make work for yourself.

I'm gonna go to a bakery.

You did work on your birthday.

I'm gonna go to a bakery and I'm gonna see if they make orange chocolate cake.

I'm sure they do.

If they don't, if I can't find one, and if I don't like the other options I'm gonna make myself one and the kids are gonna help me and it's gonna be a fun family project.

Gonna be a mess.

So my birthday is happy birthday, cake and lobster and donuts.

We gotta get you—

oh, Paula's for breakfast.

Yep.

And we'll go do something fun. Let's go do something fun as a family.

Okay, well you gotta tell me what that fun thing is.

I have a few ideas we can discuss.

Fabulous.

If you have A fun family adventure near me.

Forced family fun.

Well, hopefully it's not so forced on my birthday. They know what's coming.

I think you should remind them. Okay, I don't think they know.

You think that they need a warning?

I think they need some prep time.

Uh, secret parenting lesson. Yes, that my husband taught me. Do not ask your children, tell your children.

This is what we're doing.

This is what we're doing today. I just said to Max, this is the plan for tomorrow. I think he liked most of it.

He did.

Okay, so celebrate your birthday. You are worth it, and your family wants to celebrate you. And if they don't want to, tough, they don't have a choice.

Send them to Rebecca Greene.

Send them to me, I'll talk to them. So I also like, you know, I like to reflect on the year.

Yes.

So I think it's like a wonderful time, I actually, to write this blog, which I forgot to post, Forgive me, last day of school, it was a little hectic.

Yeah.

Uh, crazy mother, I want to tell you about my day. Uh, I got a text from Max that he wanted Chipotle. This kid kicked ass this year. He's going to be a junior, he just finished his sophomore year. When he texts me that he wants Chipotle, he can have Chipotle. And soon he's going to be able to drive and get it for himself.

Party time!

Why do fathers celebrate and mothers get sad.

I don't know why you get sad. Hey, that's one less thing I have to go do. I think one less thing you have to go do.

So anyways, I got a text from Max, if you wouldn't mind getting me Chipotle sometime soon, that would be lovely.

Yep.

And Ella was like, I want McDonald's. And Lily was like, I want Starbucks with my friends. So guess who went to all of them? To all of them for my kids.

This lady.

So happy summer to me.

Happy summer to you.

I am not going to make my kids, all three of them, happy every day.

That's good.

But we will see how this goes.

Yes.

So I, in reflecting, I went through all of my photos from the last year.

That's a lot of pictures.

Well, I want— well, I—

when I wrote the blog, I know, I'm just saying, at least one a day, that's like at least 365 pictures.

Okay, I went through at least 365 pictures.

Post way more than one in a day.

Well, sometimes there's an event or something. Sometimes there's 10, sometimes there's one, sometimes there's none.

No, I don't know that you found none.

So anyways, I went through Facebook. I didn't go through my camera roll. I went through the last year of Facebook.

You need to delete pictures from your camera roll. You probably had another 7,000.

And it really brought me so much joy to look at all of the memories and to realize everything that was so wonderful this year. And my kids worked their buns off this year. I mean, I'm so proud of them. On to the next grade, and Ella is officially done with middle school. Middle school for us starts in 5th grade and ends in 8th grade. So next year for 9th grade, she heads to high school with Max. Yay! And hopefully, as long as he passes his driver's test and as long as we approve of his driving, he will be driving her to school.

Yes.

So in looking through all of these pictures there was a lot of pictures with moms, other moms, and I just wanted to tell you that if you are one of my mom friends, thank you, because I need my mom friends. I have a friend who texted me that she had her daughter's graduation the same day as my daughter's graduation. We then continued to laugh that on Monday, on the following Monday, I had a Girl Scout party, she had a graduation party. So we were, so we were, we kept texting like parallel lives, parallel lives, and it just, it felt so supportive. It was just a text, like we weren't even on the phone together, but I just felt the love through the phone. So I want to tell my mom friends that I need you and I appreciate you, and I realized that this year that when you go through things with your kids and you have other moms who are going through it with you. It's so wonderful.

Yes.

So thank you.

You're welcome.

And I also think that my 40s have changed me. I'm going towards the other end of the 40s, but I went into the 40s thinking I needed to get up and start moving, and I didn't stop moving until my head hit the pillow. And then my husband would make fun of me because I would be out like a light in 2 seconds because I went non-stop the whole day. Yeah, and somewhere along the lines, him and my friend Kristen and my mother have all talked to me about the fact that I need to take time to not be productive. Yes, and I started to realize, if you're me, you, you think you started at some point in your life thinking that you were supposed to be productive every minute of the day And somewhere along the lines, my body said, come on now, sit down, relax. And I try to build in some relaxation. So that's new for me.

Beautiful.

I don't think it's enough. I don't think you do it enough either. So maybe we can help each other.

I will certainly help you relax.

And I'm not so good at it because I see the honey-do list all over the house, and I will be like, honey, can you help me with this? Honey, Can you help me with that? And that's not being the best wife. So as much as I need his help and Max's help with a lot of stuff, I also need to say, okay, you need to sit down, Seth needs to sit down, or better yet, we need to float in our pool.

There you go.

Okay, so Seth, you have taught me something magnificent this year.

Oh, all right.

Are you ready for this magnificence? Is that the word?

That's a word.

Yes, that was really hard to say. So I have a habit that I am breaking of saying— people are like, how are you? And my line back to them or Seth is that I'm trying to keep up with my life. And I was saying, I heard myself saying it all the time. How are you? I'm just trying to keep up. Just trying to keep up. I have 3 kids, I'm trying to keep up with them, that's my life. And Seth was like, woman, you are keeping up.

This is true, you're ahead of it.

So you said, you know, repetition. I'm telling you, with your wife, with your husband, with your kids, with your mother— repetition. Be patient, repeat it a lot. Because Seth probably said it 100 times and it has sunk in.

Yay!

So now instead of saying, I'm trying to keep up, my instant reframe in my head is now, stop, you are keeping up.

That's right.

So now I'm telling myself, you are keeping up, you're doing a great job.

There you go.

So that is huge this year.

Awesome self-talk.

Well, and you helped with that.

Well, thank you very much. And I'm here all week.

And in looking through the tons and tons of pictures. There was a lot of PTA and Girl Scouts in there.

Yeah.

So for those of you who don't know, I'm the middle school PTA president.

Yeah.

Crazy lady here.

Yeah.

And I'm Lily's— one of Lily's Girl Scout troop leaders for her Girl Scout troop.

Yeah.

So there's a lot of volunteer work. And what I realized looking at the pictures is that I really like to give back. It makes me feel good to give back, and I really like teaching my kids to give back. So not only am I doing it, but I'm sucking my kids into doing it with me. Max did a couple hours of cookie pickup, um, he did a couple hours of scooping ice cream with me. What, what else have we done together this year?

I don't remember.

There's going to be a lot more because this year was, hey Max, come do some volunteer work with me. I want, I want you to start volunteering more. Next year it's actually going to be required. So I'm giving back, I'm volunteering, I'm teaching them to do it.

Beautiful.

And I think that's a good thing to teach your kids.

Very much so.

Yes. Um, something funny this year is Have you read any of Colleen Hoover books? Oh my gosh, when I was flipping through the year— Seth, do you know how many Colleen Hoover book covers were on my Facebook?

All of the ones that you read, which I counted. Uh-oh.

I have read 14.

Wow.

I bought number 15. Megan has 3— or no, I'm sorry, Megan has like 6 that I haven't read, so I'm gonna borrow some instead of buying them all. But find an author that you love and spend time during these beautiful summer days reading and doing something for yourself. I have a friend who loves yoga. I have a friend who loves to knit. Do something for yourself. For me, I'm going to sit outside and read some more Colleen Hoover.

Awesome.

You're going to read with me?

Yes, just not Colleen Hoover.

Max taught us a good lesson this year. He taught us that it's good to try new things. That was this year.

Yes.

So this year Max played football instead of soccer and it was awesome. So that was an awesome lesson for us this year because we can get super comfortable and I don't know how good that is to get super comfortable. I like to go outside of the box and get uncomfortable.

Yes.

And there was something super uncomfortable this year. My first summit. Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I mean, uncomfortable in that I hesitated. Sure, I hesitated, but hesitation is okay. I just want us to feel the fear and then do it anyway. So I was like, okay, you're nervous, you've never done this before, but go do it. And man, did it pay off. I mean, it was awesome.

Yes, that was a fantastic event.

You and I were talking about how awesome it was to have all those moms together, and I told you it was mom magic.

It was mom magic. You had like 500 moms. I think we should make it even— make it twice the size next year. Next time you should have 1,000.

So I will do it again. I brought a bunch of parenting and marriage experts— Seth and I brought a bunch of parenting and marriage experts together and did a 2-day online conference, and it was amazing. And it just continues to teach me to grow and to keep trying new things. I'll continue the blog and the vlog and the podcast, and I'll just keep adding adding good stuff. And the new book came out this year too.

You've been a busy lady.

I mean, I just—

You've got to sum it in a book.

When you look back, I mean, when your birthday comes, I mean, do it any day, but on your birthday, go back to your camera roll or Facebook and scroll through the past year and just go, "Wow, wow, I forgot about that." I mean, it was fun. I had fun.

I will try that.

So try that on your birthday. I'll remind you.

Yes, I'm sure you will.

I had an awesome realization this year. My children are very helpful and capable. And I was telling my friend at school today, I was like, you have two strong older teenage boys. Use your boys around the house. You have to pack up your house and move and all this stuff. Put them to work. It's not all on you. And I used to put everything on myself, and I would ask Seth to help me. But I never involved the kids. And this is the first year that I'm like, okay, we have this huge gardening project, come help, this is a family project. So now we're going to bring a ton of rocks into the backyard, and I'm going to involve the kids, and all 5 of us can do it.

Fabulous.

You don't have to do it.

I'm not—

How about this? How about Max and I do it while you're at work?

I don't think you should do it with— You could That is fine. I meant I, I, I just didn't want to carry the bags of rocks, but I am happy to guide in their placement. I'm happy to pay for them.

I think that your son is happy to carry the rocks.

Okay.

Hopefully we won't have another gardening accident, right? Yes. Um, but he was super helpful. He put down 27 bags of dirt, and my kids are helpful. They want to help. They, they, they want to do stuff with us. They're much more capable than I think they are. Ella cooked on the phone with me when I was at the Girl Scout party. She, her and I were on the phone and she was learning to cook something. They're older, they're capable. I'm just, I can't wait to see what they can do in the next year. It was a good year. Um, we talked about the book, we talked about the summit. And our son is learning to drive.

Yes, it's awesome.

So it doesn't scare the crap out of you?

No.

Okay, so, so Seth and I balance each other out on everything. So why are you not scared?

What do you mean? I did it, you did it, millions of kids do it every year. Like, it'll be okay.

Okay, we'll talk more about this.

Okay.

I'm excited for him and I'm scared. And I will tell you that learning to drive and my grandma giving me a car was amazing. I mean, the freedom.

Yes.

The independence. I mean, I loved it so much. I would never not give that to my kids, but I'm scared. I'm scared. So please if you're listening to this, please drive careful. Please know that someone's son is on the road. There are old men on the road. There's, there's old people trying to remember how to drive or remember where they're going. There are people who are in from out of town who have no idea where they're going, and there are new drivers. So please, I keep telling my son, patience. Patience is your best friend. He's like, you could have gone. I'm like, patience, patience. I will drill this. I will repeat it so much he will be driving and telling himself patience.

He told me my left turn wasn't good enough on the way home. Oh, 15 points off, Dad.

How come?

I said, I'll do another left turn. Do you want me to go around the block and do another left turn? He's like, no, it's okay.

He's so funny. He's like, you could have gone. And I was like, no, no, pace makes waste, Max. So I'm sure there was a ton of other things, but lastly, my family got a new pool.

We did.

And Seth said something wonderful to me the other day. So for Father's Day, Seth said he wanted to float in his pool for Father's Day. Yes. And so I said to Seth, I have the perfect gift for you for Father's Day. And I gave him— not only did I give him an adorable shirt, I But I also gave him— because he's my superhero— but I also gave him a new pool float. And he was like, we already have floats. Like, he wasn't impressed, right? And I was like, honey, you said you wanted to float for Father's Day, so I got you a really nice float. Trust me.

I was like, I had this one from Five Below. I float on it fine. But she did get a better float, and I, I do still— I, I— it floats better.

Okay. And what did you say to me? So you floated.

Yes.

You saw that I was right.

Yes.

You saw that it was nicer.

Yes.

And that you'll enjoy it.

Yes.

And then what did you say to me?

Well, I think things are good enough and you teach me there's a whole new level of fabulous.

So he thinks the— so he thinks the old wood family room is good enough.

Oh my God.

And I paint it and make it look beautiful. He thinks What else did you think was good enough? Give me another example.

Everything was good enough.

Everything is good enough. We don't need a dog, we don't need a hot tub, we don't need a pool, we don't need to go on vacation. And I understand, Financial Planner, I understand where you're coming from, and I want him to be financially responsible, and I appreciate that, but I make suggestions that enhance our life. And he is learning that enhancing our life is a good thing.

Yes, I am learning that.

So I got positive praise.

Yes, you did.

For the new float.

Yes.

And he said that I think of things to make our life better.

Yes, you do.

So the pool is making our life better.

Yes.

So we went swimming tonight. We went in the hot tub and it was awesome, right?

Yes.

So are you looking forward to a summer in your pool and hot tub?

Yes.

Yes, for sure. So anything else from my 46th year that you want to mention?

I did not scroll through your 365+ pictures, so I do not know. I think you probably did a great job covering it better than I would have.

And my kids are finishing 5th grade, 8th grade, and 10th grade. So on to another year, on to 47. I'm excited. and I'm proud of us, and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing a lot this year.

Yes, you did.

So it was really good. And oh, I know what this Friday is on the podcast. Yes. My husband Seth, that's me, and my daughter Lily, my youngest, interviewed me for a birthday special.

Yes, it was a lot of fun flipping the mic and interviewing you.

So I love when you interview me. I love to interview people, but I love when they interview me. So you're gonna love it. Yes, please listen, share it, rate it, subscribe, comment, all that good stuff. Subscribe and ask me if you want an invitation to the Whiny Poohs of Mom group on Facebook. It's private, it's free, it's supportive. And what am I forgetting? Oh, and read the blog when I post it. I will go post the blog. And what else, Seth? Anything else?

Thank you for watching Winey Palooza Wednesday.

Thank you, everyone. Have a wonderful summer.

We'll see you next week.

And have a wonderful week.

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