Episode 258: 4th of July!

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No need to whine and whine.

Welcome to the Winey Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday. It's Winey Palooza Wednesday.

Grab some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

Well, if you're live with us— hello, if you're live with us or you see this later on YouTube, um, or Facebook, or Facebook, you could see my little fish, my little mermaid swimming back there. She just got home from cheerleading and asked to jump in the pool. How cool is that?

I wish a fish could be my pet.

Lily's our little fish. I'm glad that she's enjoying the pool. It was quite the pool day. I forgot to get our stand.

Our stand? What stand?

The stand where the phone goes.

Oh, the tripod.

Yes, I'm gonna be holding this the whole time.

Hold it, you got strong arms.

Ah, I can't even get you in.

There you go.

Can you get closer somehow?

Not, not really.

Ella, how's the reception inside, baby cakes? I'm gonna do my best.

Yeah, it says you're live. I'm watching you be live.

Okay, well, I'm waiting for Ella to tell me she can hear me. Oh, hello! There's my little pumpkin. Uh, Tanner, no digging, no digging. So we are outside.

We are fun. So see, other people can see you.

Oh, hi Joette! Joette, I miss you. So Ella, let me know if you have trouble with reception with us being outside. Okay, good. I'm glad you can hear. So we've got our little fish swimming behind us who we are somewhat monitoring, and we've got our dog in front of us watching us and digging in the garden. Good times in the greenhouse.

Yes.

How was everybody's Fourth of July? What did everybody do? I am super bummed the university You're gonna have to help me because I can't get you on here.

I can't move it. Our chairs are— there's a— there's an arm on both of our chairs. They do not get any closer.

Doing my best, people. Doing my best.

You're fine.

So the university that used to do fireworks every Fourth of July stopped.

Yeah, they had like a million-dollar fireworks show.

Yeah, and I always looked forward to it, and it's over. It's been over for a few years now.

Yes.

I think they stopped when COVID hit and never went back to it. You want to try?

Sure. I'm not going to have any better results than you are. See, there you are.

Give me, give me, give me, give me.

Be uncontrolled for 2 seconds, you got to be back in the control.

Because I don't like how you didn't have it.

I didn't do it right.

And you do a lot right.

I didn't do that.

You do a lot right.

Well, we can talk about what I did I actually didn't do anything wrong yesterday.

Don't act surprised.

I didn't offend you or say anything to upset you one time.

I said to him— oh my God, this is going to turn into the whole day. This is going to turn into a marital podcast. I said to him a couple nights ago, I'm like, can you just say the right thing all the time? And he's like, every time, how am I supposed to know what the right thing is to say? And I was like, I don't know, something nice, something nice, not Sarcastic, abrasive.

But see, what I think is nice and what you think are nice are different.

You know what it is? I'll tell you what it is.

You, you know what it is.

I'll tell you what it is. I am still a sensitive soul, and Seth's wonderful wit can still, you know, it is sometimes—

I, I have— it has been 20 years of her brainwashing me out of trying to be sarcastic. And not be sarcastic. So I haven't— I am much reduced since we got together, but it isn't completely gone.

I— listen, you have a ridiculously funny, hysterically funny sense of humor. Trying to connect.

There it is.

So I love your sense of humor. I don't like sarcasm. Hi, Corey! Yeah, but there's a difference between being funny and being sarcastic.

But sarcastic can be funny, but I know that you don't appreciate it. So again, I've been working on it for 20 years.

Okay, should we talk about the Fourth of July?

Let's talk about the Fourth of July, not my fabulous sense of humor that you get hurt by.

I love your sense of humor, and I don't love how sensitive I can be. And thank you, Ella, we, we did see that we cut out. Hopefully doing it outside is not a mistake. I have pull hair, don't care.

There you go, pull hair, don't care.

Full hair. Don't care. So the 4th of July, when you have 3 children, you will never make all of your children happy.

Actually, I think we pretty much did. We— you just— we— you and I might not have been as happy.

Okay, it's hard, it's challenging when you have multiple children and different ages, different genders, different ages, different genders, different desires, different social needs. And different social batteries. And we do our best. We don't have to make our kids happy. I think that's the biggest thing that I want you and I and everybody to hear is we don't have to make our kids happy. We can— we don't have to make them happy all the time. We don't have to worry that 3 kids want 3 different things and how are you possibly going to do all 3 things.

And we didn't.

And well, no, sometimes I take turns. Sometimes. So, okay, so we'll stick to yesterday, but in general, I don't stress about the fact that every day I can't make all 3 of my kids happy all at the same time, all at the same time, all the time. Like, um, we probably need like rotating friends in the pool. Yes, for sure. So as of yesterday, um, Max is 16 and had his own agenda.

Yes.

How did you, how did you feel about that, Mr. Greene?

He went to a friend's Fourth of July party. That's fine.

He went, he went and worked out with his friends, and then he went to his friend's party. How did you feel about that?

That was fine. Good for him.

So you didn't care?

He was happy.

So you didn't care that, that you didn't see him? I didn't.

You, you have the Fourth of July issue. I do not. Well, I don't have any emotional attachment to this.

I loved the Fourth of July before children before Tanner.

Yes, before the dog.

Pre-dog, I loved the Fourth of July. Tanner has definitely changed the Fourth of July. So we— Max went to his party, and somehow, somehow your wife stayed up until 1 AM.

Yes, thank you.

To pick him up. Yes. I wanted Seth to go to sleep because he had to work in the morning.

And my battery ran out around midnight.

Your battery was done. You were like getting in bed, going to sleep. You were like, I'm done.

I thought about that today. I realized that if it had been reversed and I was trying to stay awake to go get Max, you would have stayed up with me and tried to help keep me awake. And I am sorry that I did not do that for you.

No, you listen, you had to work in the morning and I didn't. So, um, no, I wanted him to go to sleep and I stayed up and I picked Max up at 1 o'clock and I told him 1 o'clock is too late. I said midnight is doable. I'm good at staying up till midnight, but staying up till 1, that didn't go so well for me. I was really dragging today, but he says to me— I didn't tell you this, okay? He says, "You don't have to wait up and drive me home. You could just let me walk home." And he wanted to walk home at 1 AM in the morning. So this is not around the block. Oh, you know what? I should be asking for advice.

I take night naps.

You take night—

then how do you go back to sleep?

So then you get up and you pick up your kids and then you come home. Because I should be asking for advice because 1 AM was rough, man. I can do midnight. I told him, I said I can do midnight. 1 AM is rough. So he's like, why didn't you just let me walk home? Would you have been okay with me letting him walk home? Because I say Absolutely freaking not.

He doesn't need to walk a couple— it'd be one thing if his friend's house was 2 blocks away, I would do it, but a couple miles at 1 in the morning or 2 in the morning in the dark? Yeah, I'd rather get him.

I say no. So he was so ridiculous on the way home. He was like, can't believe you won't let me walk home. So then we fought on the way home about the fact that I told him that he can't walk home.

There you go.

So that was Max. So that's Max.

Anyway, he was at a party, he was happy.

It's cutting out a ton. Nothing I can do. I'm not gonna walk inside right now, Ella, but thank you for monitoring the situation. Lily, if you're getting out, there's towels down there. Just be careful. Okay. So then there's Miss Lilybug. Miss Lilybug. So So Lily's friend was having a party.

Yep.

Lily, you got to move. Lily, sorry. Okay, Lily's friend was having a party. If Lily had her way, we would have gone to her friend's party at 11:00 a.m. when it started.

Yep.

And we would have left at like 10:30 when it ended, but her parents had a different plan. And we— and Ella is easy breezy and went along with the plan and went to— we went to my parents' house and we enjoyed their pool and their company.

Had a delicious dinner.

And had a delicious dinner and hung out and swam and relaxed. And then I was toast and wanted to go home.

Yes, and then Lily was ready to go out and party.

And then Lily was like, "Does that mean we get to go to the party now?" And I was like, Oh my God, I could go to sleep right now.

Night nap.

But, but you can all relate to the fact that the sun drains you. Drains you.

It was also like 80-something degrees. Yeah, hot.

Yeah. So Ella was like— we took Ella and the dog home and Ella was like, I'm done. Like, I'm totally done. Just leave me, leave me here. Yes. And we took separate cars and we go to the party.

Yes.

Lily, Lily is good. And there's strength, there's strengths and weaknesses to this. The weaknesses, I was tired and went out anyway. The strength is Lily gets me out and gets— she pushes you past your comfort zone of partying, and she gets me to have more fun. Oh, she is definitely more fun because when I pulled up to the party, I was like They're— I know this car and this car and this car.

Everybody's here.

And everybody's here. So suffice it to say, Lily and I had fun, but my, my poor wonderful husband.

Okay, so I think we were at the party for what, 5 minutes, maybe, maybe 10 at the absolute most, when my FaceTime rang and it was Ella going, uh, Tanner's pounding on doors upstairs. He's really, he's really scared. I'm like, it's not dark out. Are there any fireworks yet? And she's like, I don't know, but he's really scared. He's freaking out. Come home. So I didn't even get to have one whole conversation with one person at the party. I think I got 5 minutes and then I was on my way home. And it turns out there were places that had already started fireworks, even though it wasn't dark out. And they started at 5-something and they didn't stop all night. And Tanner was ripping the door off our upstairs hall closet. It's like a folding door. He had pushed his way into Max's— opened Max the door to Max's room and forced his way into Max's room. He was, he was not in a positive emotional state. My wonderful wife had gotten him CBD chews, which we tried, but they didn't do any good. I gave him a couple, it did not do him any good.

Ella says she didn't tell you to come home.

She said, what do you want me to do? Yes, I was like, well, what's she gonna do? Tanner's bigger than her, right? I mean, I was like, I didn't know what Ella I apologize if I misinterpreted. I thought if he's pounding on doors, I didn't want him to hurt himself. I wanted to come home and try and monitor— help the situation, or at least protect him from himself. So yes, okay, Ella, you are clear. You did not tell me to come home. I decided this sounds like something that I cannot just do over the phone. I need to actually go home and protect my dog from his own fear over fireworks. So I came home and dealt with upset Tanner the whole time. And then our neighbors did little fireworks in their driveway, and I had gotten some low noise fireworks, which didn't make a difference because everyone else was already noisy and he was already upset, so I didn't need to bother. Um, and we did some little fireworks in the driveways, and that was nice. And Tanner was still upset until finally, I don't know, like midnight, 11:30, when people finally stopped doing fireworks. So I missed the party. Party people, I'm sorry that I had to leave and I missed the the enjoyment of your company.

I know, I wanted you to stay. I was so sad. I wanted him to stay. So CBD did not work.

We needed stronger CBD.

Good suggestion, didn't work. I'm gonna get— I'm gonna get—

stop eating them. Like, I tried to give him another one, he wouldn't eat it. He wouldn't even touch it.

I'm going to get him some good drugs next year.

Doggies.

No, I need to get a prescription because even thunderstorms—

yes. Oh, if we could drug him every time there was a thunderstorm, that'd be good.

He is a high-maintenance, high-anxiety dog with noise.

Yes, normal, the rest of the time he's fine. It's just thunderstorms and fireworks.

So Seth left.

I left.

And went home.

And babysat Tanner.

So Seth's home with Ella. Ella's done for the day.

And she's fine with our little show across the street.

She does not care about fireworks like her mother.

Nope.

Seth was home hanging out with Ella and Tanner.

Sitting in the bedroom petting Tanner.

Max was at his party.

Yeah.

And I was at my friend's house partying it up with Lily. Yes, Lily is a party girl.

She party animal.

And it taught me a lot.

Okay, what'd you learn?

I think that— and I want you to chime in.

All right.

I think that I have learned to go with the flow more.

I could see some real fireworks on the driveway. Yes, we could see them over one of the houses. It wasn't a perfect view because it was obstructed by the house, but we could see them over the tops of the houses and we could see some cool fireworks.

Did you hear what I said though?

Yes, I agree.

I think that I used to have to have everything in control of what my expectation was for the evening.

Oh yes.

And I've realized, first of all, with a 16-year-old, they have their own agenda.

Everybody's got their own agenda.

Everyone has their own agenda. And sometimes I'm going to say, okay kids, 'You can do it your way,' and sometimes I'm going to say, 'No, you're going to do what I want.' But yesterday I was like, 'I'm going to go with the flow,' and it turned out— the bad news is I wasn't with Seth with the fireworks, right? The good news is I went with the flow, everything worked out, and I learned that my children all have different social batteries.

Yep, Max and Lily were ready to party all night, and Ella wanted to come home and chill out.

Max had such a good time. He was out from 5 to— 5 PM to 1 AM partying it up.

So Lily was 5 to 10:30 or 11 with you? Well, 5:30.

Um, oh yeah, at 10:30 when everybody was cleaning up to go home Lily was like, "That's it? We're going home?" And I was like, "Yeah, everybody's going home, Lily. Like, let's pack it up." She could have kept going for another hour at least.

Yes, she's got party energy.

So everyone has a different social battery.

Yes.

Everybody has different agendas.

Yes.

Our kids are getting older, things are changing.

Yes.

Fireworks are interesting. Our firework plan of UB every year isn't really gonna happen anymore.

Nope. So I think we're gonna have to buy our own fireworks, or you've got to figure out where that place was that was near us that did fireworks and go there. And then you've got to get everybody to go there, and they're not all going to agree and want to go there. And then they're going to say, well, what friends are coming with us?

And blah blah blah.

So yes, I've also learned that yes sometimes include friends, and sometimes I want family time.

That is true, folks.

So a little of both. A little of both.

Yes.

So have some family time, have some friend time, have some flexibility, go with the flow.

Yes.

Understand that you have limitations with a dog who doesn't like fireworks. If your dog doesn't like fireworks, we're welcome to pointers. Yes, right? I would say that eventually he settles down.

Well, when they stop doing the fireworks.

No, there were still fireworks when he was laying down. Okay. There were still fireworks going.

Okay.

So good times in the greenhouse. We've got 3 kids, a dog, 2 cats, and it's never dull.

Nope.

Nope. Nope. Are you enjoying the ride?

Yes.

So as I posted today in my Wyoming Plus a Mom Facebook group, I posted about, you know, what's your wish for moms this summer? And I'm reading all the comments and smiling, and you know, I'm realizing that all these little moments through the summer are like big moments. And my son is 16, and I think that is waking me up to the fact that I need to like really like soak it up and enjoy it. Yes, for sure, because he's getting so old. And I'm just really loving all of your supportive comments, so please feel free to come join us and ask me for an invitation because it's private and I have to invite you, or a friend has to invite you, right? A friend can invite? I don't know, I don't know, we'll have to find out. We don't know how that works. So if you're in— I think that friend— I think that you can invite your friends to the group. I think somebody has done that.

Okay, so go invite people.

So let me know if you're in the group, invite somebody, try to invite a friend and tell me if it works. And I'm happy to invite you to join us. We're doing the July Summer Challenge and I'm gonna pick winners tomorrow or the next day. And Christina Bleckinger is the winner of my birthday challenge, so I need to bring Christina her prize. And, um, oh, this Friday on the podcast is Alana Robinson. She is amazing. It's— it— I thought it was last week. I was wrong. It's this week.

Surprise!

And she's amazing. Last week was a school counselor, so if you missed last week, she gave a lot of really good pointers. So go back and listen to last Friday if you missed it. This Friday is going to be Alana, and she talks about child behavior under stress. How does stress affect— thank you for all the love, Ella. I love all the hearts. So check it out because she gives so many pointers. I'm going to share this because I want, um, the moms on my page to be able to listen to it and get some pointers.

Love it.

And anything else I need to share?

That's it.

We're gonna go enjoy this beautiful summer night. So I hope you are enjoying your summer, enjoying the little moments, going with the flow.

And, uh, thank you for watching Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

Thanks everyone, have a good week.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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