Episode 267: And Just Like That…It’s August

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No need to whine and whine.

Welcome to the Winey Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Winey Plousa Wednesday. No need to whine, it's Winey Plousa Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Plousa Wednesday with the Greene family. I have a task for you. What? Did you work on another verse? Okay, so before next Wednesday, can we have another verse? Yeah, can you remind me? I will remind you, and I want to tell you something before you leave. What? It meant the world to me today when you told me how happy you are. Oh, I want you to know that. So all of you parents out there know that all we want is for our kids to be happy. Now we want them to know that they're not going to be happy all the time, and that's normal, right? But I love when you tell me how happy you are. You made my day. You're free to run away. She's like inching off the couch. Can I go now? Are you gonna stop talking to me so I can leave? Hello, husbands.

Hello, wife.

Um, happy Wine and Blues Wednesday. Happy Wine and Blues Wednesday. I'm tired. Are you tired? You got up earlier than I did.

I'm not as tired as you.

Huh, I wonder why.

We could probably do a whole episode on that.

Maybe less child time.

Could we have something to do with that?

He's like texting me like, I'm doing a webinar, I'm doing well, and I'm like, I'm in my car, I'm driving our kids.

Said, I'm making you money to pay for the car.

Um, can we talk about the car?

We can talk.

I'm not gonna give specifics. Okay, not yet anyway.

Um, do an episode from the car next week.

I don't know how reception would be.

You do an episode in front of the car.

So what I want to tell you is that before— we just turned in my car, my lease, and before that car Before I leased that car, I wanted a car that had a long wait list, and my father was like, it's COVID, the cars are a few years ago. Yeah, it was 3 years ago. Um, it's all— all the cars are backlogged, just get something on the lot, don't order anything. And it was excellent advice, and I listened, and I leased a car, and it wasn't the car I wanted, but it was a great car for our family for 3 years. And then I bit the bullet and I was like, okay, I'm gonna go on the waitlist. I didn't get my car. I'm gonna do it this time. I'm gonna go on the waitlist and I'm gonna see how long it takes and I'm gonna wait and I'm gonna be patient. And we got the call yesterday.

After waiting, how long have we already waited?

9 months. 9 months. 9 months.

And we were supposed to wait a few more months.

We were, well, like, yeah, like 5 or 6 more months.

5 or 6 more months.

So, you know, the car industry is just so backlogged and, you know, there's waitlists everywhere. So anyways, it's not my car. My car has not been built yet.

It is not the car that we ordered, but it is a better car. Isn't that convenient how that works out? We don't have your car, but if you want a car now, we just happen to have one that's more money.

Okay, so anyways, um, I think it's gonna work out. Yeah, we'll report back to you. But August has started. My blog is And Just Like That, It's August.

Ooh, and Just Like That. Where did you get that title from?

From the wonderful show that a lot of people are complaining about, but that I'm enjoying.

Ooh, what are they— we gotta talk about what they're complaining about, because I watch it with you.

I mean, I will tell you specifics after this, but people don't seem to like it. They don't think the writing is good, cringy, like lots of comments. I am happy that the Sex and the City girls are back, and I'm just happy to see them.

They're not girls anymore, but yes.

The women are back, and I'm just happy to see them. And I'm not criticizing them and criticizing the writing. I'm just there for pure entertainment purposes.

I hope it's entertaining.

So I blinked my eyes like we all— like all of us mothers do, and time goes fast, and July is over, and we're into August. And August started out amazing with the phone call about my car, so I will report back to you. And we've got car stuff going on for Max, and He's gonna take his test, and there's just lots of stuff going on in August. Um, I just—

he takes two tests in August.

I told— I told Seth—

you told me—

I told you that there is a lot— are a lot of— like, I gave him that look last night in the hot tub of there's a lot of changes, there's a lot. Like, I get like 'Oh my God, it's so many changes.' And he's like, 'But it's all good changes.' Um, yeah, so, okay.

Yeah, it's not gonna do it again.

What are you trying to do?

I was adjusting the slight angle on the phone, but I can't fix it now.

So I have seen teachers, I have bumped into teachers, I have seen teachers on Facebook, I have seen teachers in person And August seems to be being treated like Sunday night for teachers and students, like it's the Sunday night of the summer. Does that make sense to you?

It's the month before, right, right before they go back to school. Okay, I get the analogy.

Okay, so I, so I was so proud of this teacher who we bumped into, and she was like, my colleagues are treating this like it's Sunday night, and, um, we have a month of summer left. Like, right, like, let's party, let's enjoy summer. Why are we treating this like Sunday night. So I want to remind us all that we still have a month of summer left.

Shouldn't Sunday night be exciting? Shouldn't you be excited to go back to school if you're a teacher? That is your passion, that is your job, right? Forgive my ignorance.

Seth, you— we need to do a whole episode on you and, okay, um, and your, and your wonderful attitude about life and work and, and You are really good for me. Okay, so I have said this before on this, on this little vlog. I have said you all think I'm like so positive, and I got nothing compared to my husband.

I don't know about that.

I say things all the time and you reframe them. Have I taught you to reframe, or is that just how you naturally are?

Yes.

So I've improved your reframing skills.

I am sure you have rubbed off on me.

Well, I wish I could remember what I said, but like, I, I'm gonna give you examples as I think of them. But I say something and he's like, isn't that wonderful? Like when I looked at—

like changes—

like when I looked at him last night and I was like, there's so many changes. And he's like, and they're all wonderful. And he's just so positive. And I'm like, lots of change, lots of change.

I'm like, change your mind.

So we have not done a topic on change.

We have not, I don't think so.

And have we talked about how bad your wife was at change? Have we talked about that?

Um, I don't remember. I don't know if it was about change specifically. That'll be next time.

Okay, so I have learned to embrace change better and be excited instead of You've done that like with your birthday, you've improved.

You've done it with not grieving that the milestones— you've done it, started to celebrate the milestones. So you've certainly improved in those departments. Okay, so those are changes.

So speaking of milestones, I have friends whose children are going to college.

Yes.

And I put myself in their shoes because it's August, so they're leaving in August.

Yep, a couple weeks.

And I might need a counselor to get me through that in a couple summers, and I'm not kidding. And the counselor in quotes might be my husband next to me.

Oh, okay. I thought we were actually like gonna go to therapy.

I actually—

I'm gonna fall over and go, I'm gonna watch you tell the therapist what they should have said to you and how they should have run the session.

Okay, so, oh, okay, so let's touch on that for 2 seconds.

2 seconds.

2 seconds. Every therapist is not good. Every therapist is not a good fit for you. So, Mr. Greene, if, if I went to therapy, I would be picky.

I— that does not sound like fun. Not the therapy part, that you'd be picky. Once you got somebody that was good enough for you, knowing everything you know, no, no, then maybe we can relax and enjoy the therapeutic process.

Okay, first of First of all, they don't need to know what I know. They need to know different things.

Yes, thank you. That's an excellent point.

Because I already know what I know.

Do you always do what you know?

Uh, no.

So, with a refresher once in a while, maybe you could consider that it might help.

And I will tell you that even if I know what to do, hearing you or someone else say it to me is very helpful.

Yes, because sometimes you can't hear it when I say it. Like, there are times that I said something and you discounted it, and then, for example, like, a couple— your brother might say it and you're like, that's a brilliant idea! And I'm like, I told you that 2 weeks ago, but it wasn't brilliant when I said. Um, I think just hypothetical, never actually happened.

No, it has happened. And what I want to respond to you with is, it's not, um, sometimes it's not the messenger, sometimes it's the repetition.

Or you have to be in the right state to hear it.

So it could be my mood. It could be, um, am I open to hearing something?

Like, probably because I tell cranky Rebecca—

no, you have to read the room. Like, you— I need to teach— like, I'm good at reading the room, and if you are cranky, I'm like, I'm not talking about this with him right now. Like, you need to read the room. Is your wife in the state for you to talk to her about XYZ?

That's a good point. Okay, because I will tell my friends, sometimes it comes up and I'm like, what am I supposed to do now? She brought it up, I can't ignore her.

What are you talking about? When I'm cranky?

Never mind, your friends. Okay, go back.

So my friends whose kids are going away to college, I feel for you, I empathize with you, I put myself in your shoes, and I feel like all the feelings. I can imagine, I can imagine.

She's felt it.

Yeah, and I can imagine they're experiencing like all the feelings. They're excited, they're happy, they're, they're ecstatic for their kid, they're also sad and can't imagine their life without their kid in their house. Like, I'm— I can only— I can put myself in your shoes. And when Max goes to college, I will be so excited for him, and I will try to live there, but in the excited state, not at the college. I will try to live in excitement and happiness, but I, I understand how sad you're feeling. I can only imagine. Yes. And in the meantime, you have like time, couple weeks, I don't know, 2 or 3 weeks. I have to look at the calendar and see how many weeks. But you know, our kids are busy, and you know, today Max had a class, and then he was like, I'm going to the gym, and he was busy today, and he's always doing something, and it's okay. To pencil yourself into their schedule.

Oh, that's interesting.

It's okay to say, "I need some quality time with you." Like, "Let's go to the movies. Let's go out to lunch." It's okay to ask for what you might need, you know.

That's a good schedule, a child date.

Right? Like, forget the kid. The kid wants to run around with their friends and do whatever they're doing. I don't know that the kid is like, "I need some mom time before I go away to college." and I'm telling you it's okay to say, I need some quality time with you before you go away, right?

Yes, that's a great idea.

Um, I— it's just me putting myself in their shoes.

I love it. I'll remind you in a couple years.

Oh, I don't— I'm gonna need so much. I'm gonna need so much, you know, and I'm gonna need so much for this driving stuff. So I have talked to— I have talked to so many moms. I have gotten things like, pray.

Excellent advice.

Um, so I said to Max today, I said, when you get your license and you go off driving every day, I'm gonna say to you, be safe, drive slow, and I'm gonna say it every single day. And he's like, I'll just tune you out.

Not helpful and not the right answer, which made me feel worse.

Yes. And we will discuss that.

Yes.

Because as I reminded, uh, Ella today. Um, I will need to remind Max driving is a privilege.

I was gonna say, tune me out, I tune out the keys.

I, I think that you need to tell him that. I'm like, he's like, my car, and I'm like, well, whose name is on the car?

Who's paying the payment? I was gonna say that, but at some point, if he's paying for the car Well, then you elevate it to it's my name on it, or I am just your mother, so therefore I can do what I take it away.

I read the sheet today on the junior license, um, because I have to fill out the form and like sign it. Like, I have to like sign—

there was something called the junior license.

It's a junior license that he's getting. It's called junior license, I believe.

It's a driver's license. Okay, they've changed things since we got ours.

I have to look up the rules. There are rules to this license. It's not like just having a normal license.

Oh, okay.

It's like— I did not know what I have heard from my friend is that you can only have one person who's not your family in the car.

Oh, so he can't go like pick up 3 of his friends and go to the gym?

I don't think so.

Oh, we better find these out because I would imagine the first thing he thinks he's doing the day after he passes his test is going to get his friends and go to the gym, or go to his friends and go to Chipotle.

Oh, that's gonna suck.

You gotta find out the rules like now, tomorrow.

You know, yeah, I mean, there's so many changes. So with the junior license, it looks like the parent has to sign off on the junior license, and that we can take the license away.

Puppet strings.

Okay, so I'm going off to the races.

I don't know where you went topic-wise. You've so gone on so many tangents.

Well, the summer is a lot of tangents. I was looking—

Summer of Tangents by Rebecca Greene.

I really wanted a slower summer. I didn't sign them up for camps. I thought that that would achieve my goal.

God, you didn't, because where would you fit them in? Well, you wouldn't have any time for camps.

I didn't think about— I thought that I didn't sign them up for a lot, but I'm in the car all the time.

Okay, so you didn't sign Ella up for a lot, but football, internship, internship class, cheer are taking plenty of the time, taking all the time.

Tumbling.

Oh, I forgot about tumbling and, and, and other stuff. Yeah, right, that's enough. That's keeping you busy all day.

I, I was— my goal for the summer was to spend it in my pool. I am not achieving my goal.

You are certainly not spending enough time in the pool.

I'm driving, which will be nice in my new car.

Yes. So, so you're gonna complain less about the driving then?

I'll get back to you on that. I think it's gonna— I think it's gonna be extra money. No, I think it's gonna be more enjoyable, don't you?

Yes, I already decided that, but I think you haven't.

Okay, I decided it right now.

Awesome, I look forward to hearing how much you love it.

Yes, but I, I want to tell you to make a goal for August, and I'm going to tell you that I'm going to get in that pool more often. Yes, and I also made a silly goal for myself to read all the Colleen Hoover books.

That isn't silly.

Um, I'm reading a lot. Kind of, but I'm getting through the Colleen Hoover book, so I made that little goal.

One every few days. I mean, you're plugging away. I don't know about every few days, but it seems like you're always reading a new book and there's always some new character you're telling me about. So maybe it's one a week.

Are you so excited to hear about the books I'm reading?

So excited to hear about—

I will—

all of the relationship drama in Colleen Hoover.

That's not good that I'm reading about relationship drama, is it?

I've tried to throw a few personal development uplifting books on your shelf, but Colleen Hoover seems to win.

I did read— you did give me one, um, The Lifeboat.

Yep.

And I didn't like it. I read it, I didn't like it.

Well, there's Colleen Hoover books that you don't like.

That's true.

Okay, like every book I give you.

So do you have any goals for August? Any, any summer goals? Any goal?

Um, I do not have summer recreational goals like you in terms of get more time. I mean, I'm sure I'd like more time in the pool. I do not have any. I have not said any specific home goals.

Okay. Um, you took me off topic. Goals.

I did not.

No goals. No, I had a question about goals. Oh, so I started with Ella today and I said, okay, we have August left. Is there anything you want to do this summer that we haven't done? And she's like, no, I'm good. Yo, the easy child. I shouldn't not label her the easy child. Do not label your kids, even if it's true. Bad modeling right there. So, so, um, anything left in the summer? So check in with your family. What is left in the summer that they want to do? Is there anything in the summer that you want to do that we haven't done?

I don't think so. I, I think I'm good. I'll go on whatever adventures you want.

I don't want any of us to be in September going, oh, I wish I had done X, Y, and Z, right? So this is the time to make a mental or physical list if there's anything specific that you want to do this summer. And we all have to remember that the fun doesn't end because it's September 1st.

You know, you will still be driving the fun bus.

I will still drive the fun bus. There's not only is there fun to be had in the fall, there is also summer fun that you can still have in September because the weather tends to be nice.

Yes.

And I'm going to put out there that we're going to have a nice September.

Awesome.

So what else do I want to remind us before the summer ends? Lily's teacher said to stay present, and I remind myself that every day. I woke up August 1st with this like big jolt of anxiety because I was like, oh no, oh no, September's coming.

I wouldn't have even thought of that. Oh, I love You're fast forwarding.

I love that you don't think the way that I think. It helps me.

Yes.

And we're not supposed to think the way each other thinks, right?

So there'd be no polarity.

The good news is that I realized what I was doing, and I grabbed a hold of that thought and threw it in the garbage. All right, so we are in control of our thoughts. We choose what we think. We practice what we think. And I'm choosing to think about the fact that I have a month left to enjoy the summer. So let's all enjoy summer before I'm saying now it's September.

Yeah.

And, uh, I'm gonna enjoy it because I'm a summer lady and I love the summer.

Okay.

So I have the August Summer Challenge going on in my group. So please come and find me. I think I have to invite you because it's private, so ask me for an invite. We are doing a challenge and I'm gonna give away prizes for the challenge. It's lots of fun and lots of support in the group. I'm loving it. And I got really good news today about my podcast. My producer emailed me that I have hit over— I'm at 207,000 and like 149 downloads.

That was awesome. Congratulations.

We beat 200,000 and it feels really good, and I'm having so much fun, and I have to pinch myself that this is a job. It really is amazing.

I'm so glad.

And I just did a podcast and I told you 3 amazing women who I just couldn't believe that I get to talk to these experts and interview them and share this stuff with you, share this great stuff with you, all this knowledge, all this support. So I hope you're enjoying it. I really, really appreciate you listening and commenting and reviewing and rating and all that fun stuff. And please don't ever hesitate to tell me, like, this is a topic that I would love you to cover, or I have a guest that I think you would love, or I would love to be on your podcast.

That's right, you can pitch yourself.

Pitch yourself to me. I would love to have you on.

Who's on this Friday?

Um, thank you for the segue. Dr. Laura Froyen is on this Friday, and she's amazing. And she discusses how our parenting triggers are invitations for healing and growth.

Oh, that sounds good.

And she is a smart, good lady. Um, I love her. You're gonna love listening to her. And, uh, anything else?

Thank you for watching Winey Blues Wednesday.

Thank you, everyone. Have a wonderful August.

Have a great week.

And, uh, have a wonderful week and thank you for joining us.

We'll see you Wednesday.

Bye everyone.

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