Episode 268: A Whole New World: Max Gets His License

No need to whine, it's whiny palooza. Have some wine and join us on the whiny palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the whiny palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday.

No need to whine, it's Winey Clues a Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Clues a Wednesday with the Greene family. The best live show that ever happened and went live. Improv.

The best live show that ever happened.

That's not permanent. I just realized I forgot to keep writing.

So, I'm sorry.

How about the best live show that ever happened? Anne went live because I love, I love, I love that you're trying.

So maybe next time I'll remind you to write something before the show. Okay, thanks, honey. I love you.

Love you too.

I'm like, we've got laughter, we've got tears, we've got hopes, we've got fears.

Did you just make that up?

Yes.

Did you hear that? You had to go write that down. Go right to town. Um, no need to whine, but we're gonna whine.

No, have some wine, Julia.

I love that you made this. I need you to make more so I can give them out. We'll talk.

Don't you have a Cricut thingy?

Um, I don't want to do it.

Oh, so what did we buy it for?

Okay, maybe you could make like—

the girls could make like 3 things and then it takes up space.

I, I—

anybody want to buy a used Cricut? Very gently used.

I'll, I'll use it. I'll use it. You know what I like to use?

We don't need any more mugs.

We're good.

We're too many cups in this house.

No, I want to tell you what I like to use it for.

Okay, that's good.

When they have a theme day at school, I like to create a shirt creation for them.

Okay, I did not know that. Uh, how have I missed these fabulous shirts?

I made her, um, Slides, drool, Crocs rule.

I remember that, it's a fantastic theme. All right, you got a topic, I believe. Okay, we're here to talk about something.

Oh shoot, I didn't look up the podcast before the show.

Do you want me to— hey Ella, can you bring me my phone?

It's okay, it's all right, they'll just know that there's a new podcast and it's fabulous, so go listen.

Oh, you want me to—

oh, I wonder if it's the Three Fabulous Ladies.

The Three Fabulous Ladies, are they like Becky, Katie, and Ali. I meant Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Oh my gosh. Okay, so my topic—

yes, there's a topic—

is A Whole New World. Yes, Max gets his license.

He did, and he has driven himself successfully by himself multiple places already.

Max got his license on Monday.

Everybody still survived.

I love that you're rubbing my back because you know how stressed I am.

I do.

So I'm gonna tell you the good news. The good news is he's still safe. Well, he's, he's home and he's safe.

Yes.

On Monday he got his license. On Tuesday, after we made sure insurance was all settled—

Becky, Katie, and Allie.

Yeah, but does— do you have the title of it?

Helping Girls Believe in Themselves, August 11th.

Okay, remember that, right? They were wonderful. I love them and I help and I love what they're doing for girls. I love this program. In fact, I think we should sign our girls up.

Okay.

I think our girls would love it.

I don't know what we're talking about, but let's do it.

Okay. Anyway, so Max got his license, insurance got all straightened out. He drove himself to football, was at his first location.

First location today.

He drove himself to football. The gym, and his class.

Oh, I didn't know he went to the gym.

So do you know how much driving he saved me?

You would have had to go to all those places.

That is a lot of driving that I didn't have to do. Hallelujah! So the whole new world is twofold.

You could write a song about that.

Max, you could write a parody.

That's what I'm saying. I have a whole new world. Max is driving now.

Need some work. So Max has a whole new world. Do you remember what it was like to get your license? Do you remember? Do you remember how wonderful it was? How freeing it was?

Where can I go?

I want to go somewhere.

I felt so—

I want to go everywhere. Mommy, you want me to go down the street to Tops and get some groceries? I'll go to Tops.

I felt so independent. I remember going to the store for the first time by myself. I loved it, and I wanted that for him. And I know how he's feeling. It's this newfound freedom.

Yes.

And it's a whole new world for him.

Yes.

And it's a whole new world for me because do you know how much driving I do?

A lot.

I do a lot of driving. Honey, thank you for driving tonight.

Oh, you're welcome.

Thank you so much, so much.

You're welcome. Happy to take Lily to and from cheer.

Okay. Well, I appreciate it greatly, and I will keep telling you that.

You were busy.

I was busy. I'm late. I was on the phone on a very important phone call, and sometimes other things are more important, and this was more important.

It's true.

Very important.

Yes.

And, um, I'm sorry to be late, but we're here.

We're here now. Let's do it.

We're here to talk and I am always going to be open and honest on this live, and I'm going to say that I am still a bit of a nervous wreck.

Oh, about driving? Yes.

I think that I've gotten better since the first time you left.

The first, like, 24 hours ago, 48 hours ago. Yes, she's improving a little bit.

But do you remember how I acted the first time?

3 times ago?

Yes. But do you remember how I was?

Yes, you're like, ah!

And I went to his car. Oh my God, there was—

Lily wanted to know if you put a little turtle in his car.

I did.

Okay, she feels better now.

But I have to remind— I have to let him know what the turtle is for. Do you know what the turtle is for?

Slow down.

Yes.

Don't stick your neck out. Let other people go first.

So we all have— we all have turtles, little turtle toys. They're not actual turtles. If you ever watch this, I might text you and tell you this. You started the turtle trend. I think you gave me my first turtle, and it's still in my car. It's in my 15th car. I don't know if you had it in the first 2 cars, so it might be the 13th car if I can do math correctly. But your turtle lives on, is in my new car, and Seth and Max have turtles. We all have turtles, and we all have car mazzuzas.

Yes.

To keep us safe.

Yes.

And the turtle is to remind us to slow down.

Yes.

So the first time he left, I was like, drive slow, drive careful. And I went to his car and I was like knocking on his window and I was like, there's a very expensive car parked right behind you in the street. And then I was like, stop, there's a dog walking right behind you, just let the dog go.

She flew over the top of the car the whole way. Wherever he went.

I did not follow the drone, but what did I do?

You stalked— we both watched him on Life360.

If you are a parent, yes, and you don't have Life360, gotta get it. Go freaking get it. It's the best thing that was ever invented.

Oh yeah, I don't know about that, but it's pretty cool. You can watch your kids go wherever they go.

So it tells us his speed.

Yep, how fast he's going.

I, I know where he is. And like, my friend was like, I made my kids tell me when they got somewhere, and I made my kids tell me when they were leaving. Well, Max doesn't really have to do that because my phone dings and it says Max has left.

Yes.

And I checked to make sure that he arrived at his location.

Yes.

So I'm not telling you I'm always going to be able to track him because I may be busy, like driving, I may forget, blah blah blah. "But for now, tracking him is keeping me sane. And I'm a bit of a nervous wreck." Yes. "And I'm praying a lot." Yes. "I wanna tell you the advice that mothers have given me." All right. Where's the advice?

Is it in the PS?

Hold on.

There was a PS section.

Oh, you think that's where it is? Oh, advice for moms.

I did read it.

Who have children driving. Pray.

Yeah.

Everybody tells me to pray, which I do a lot.

Yes.

Drink wine.

Yep.

That made me laugh. We need to laugh, people. Track them.

Yep.

Which we do. Let them know the rules. So let's talk about our rules.

Yes.

Um, did you agree that I captured all of our rules?

I don't remember what.

Okay. As I go through this, yes, you can let me know if you disagree or add anything.

Okay. Okay. I can do that.

Okay. So let's start with the obvious. No phone. Yep, period. Um, the only thing that he can do, which I will talk to him about, is he can hook his phone up so that the directions go onto the screen.

Yes, GPS.

No phone, no texting.

Nope.

I told him— I don't know if Seth is going to agree to this, but I said no music until further notice.

Yeah, he shouldn't be distracted. He should be 100% focused.

I just want him to focus right now.

He's a brand new driver, bopping along singing a song. He should be be focused for now.

This is not my rule. So he has a junior license.

Yes.

And the junior license has a couple of its own rules. You can only have one non-family member in the car. Do you know this?

You told me this. Yes.

I'm asking them if they know this.

Do you know this?

Well, if you take driver's ed, these two rules that I'm about to say go away.

Got it.

So Max has not taken driver's ed yet.

Got it.

I have to look into that and see if it's going to fit into his schedule.

We also So I'll take the defensive driving course because that reduces your insurance too.

Okay, I'm sure people told me. I'm sure that would make him thrilled. Okay, no phone, no music, one, one non-family member allowed in the car, but all of us can be in the car.

Yes, you just can't drive more than one friend.

Okay, you're not allowed to drive after 9 according to his junior license.

Yep.

Um, if your child has taken driver's ed Let me know, was it worth it? Where did they take it?

Yep.

Okay, somebody told me that it wasn't happening this summer because I know that some people have taken it at ECC. Do you know that?

I do not.

Okay, we'll talk about it.

Okay.

Okay, I want him to text or call me if his plans change. Like, if I think you're going to football and then you leave football and decide to go to your friend's house, like, you have to talk to me first.

Yes.

I don't want to wonder where the heck you're going, right? Like, you have to tell me you're leaving the house You have to tell me where you're going.

Yep.

I told him, don't just take off, like, I still need to know where you're going.

Yes.

Um, we talked about let me know when you're leaving the house. I don't want to just realize that Max is gone. I want to know.

Yes.

You too.

Yes.

Okay. He's not allowed on the thruway, right? We have not taken him on the thruway. If you have taken your child on the thruway to learn to drive, we would appreciate any pointers. I said to him, I'm gonna pay— we paid for, um, 7 lessons. So Seth started to teach Max to drive.

Yes.

Then I joined. I let Seth do the beginning hard work that I wanted. I wanted, I wanted nothing to do with the first week or so. Yeah, that was all you.

Yes.

We know who's built for that. Yes. Okay, then I joined in and I started teaching him. And then I said to Seth, I want to get professional light lessons because we've been driving forever, but we don't know, we're not instructors and we don't know how to teach and we don't know what's on the test. So we did 7 lessons and I saw, I thought that his instructor was gonna take him on the thruway, but then I saw that you have to pay for another lesson and it's thruway driving.

All right, so let's get him another lesson.

So I said, let's do another lesson that is 3-way driving, and he said, oh please no.

Oh, Max said that?

He's like, oh please no more lessons.

Okay, well he doesn't have to pass a test on the 3-way, he just has to stay safe, so theoretically I could do that.

Isn't that interesting? The stuff that is on the test versus not on the test really blows my mind.

Well, maybe they think everybody's just gonna stick to Transit and Sheridan.

So he's not allowed on the 3-way until further notice. Yeah, he has to drive the speed limit.

Yep.

He has to be patient. He does this thing, it's really interesting, like, "Hey, it was my turn," or, "Hey, why did they do that?" Well, I don't care why these people are doing what they're doing, just stay alive.

Yes.

And just let them go first. Yes. Be a defensive driver. Yep. Did you talk to him? I have to remind him to look cars ahead of him and not just at the car right in front of him. Yep. Like I told him, keep your eyes open all around you.

Yes.

Okay, don't let others distract you while you're driving, like your sister's fighting in the car.

Yep, they're not allowed to fight.

They're not allowed to fight when he's driving. In fact, they have even fought while I was driving and distracted me, and I'm like, ladies, you are distracting the driver.

Yep.

Have they done that to you?

Uh, they, they have certainly fought in my car. I am— I think I'm less distractible than you. Okay, but that's also because you're a mother and you hear everything and pay attention to everything.

So you zone out.

I zone forward. I focus more.

So what do you think about I said no eating or drinking?

Yeah, he should have both hands on the wheel.

Yeah, I said he has to help with his sisters. Yep, he has to, he has to help me. Like, this is for me too. Help with errands, help with sisters, and realize that driving is a privilege and can be taken away.

Yep, he's gotta keep it.

So it sounds like you agree with all of them.

I agree with all those rules.

Awesome. I, I would like to benefit from this too.

Yes, that is the point of having to drive less.

So Max worked his buns off in school and always does.

Yep.

He is— he took his driving lessons.

Yep.

He's doing his internship.

Yep.

He's working for Seth.

Yep.

He started an SAT class.

Yep.

He's a hard, responsible worker.

Yes.

So we are thrilled that we are able to provide him with a car to drive.

Yes.

And to make my life easier.

Yes.

The nice thing is Seth said to me, um, I'm doing this for you. I don't know how much this is for Max. This is for you.

Yes.

So thank you.

You're welcome.

So we have another driver in the family. I am so proud of him. I'm so excited for him. I'm scared out of my mind, but it's gonna be okay.

It is.

And I'm gonna track him, and I'm gonna pray, and he's gonna take it seriously. And I told him, I'm like, your life is precious, so take care of you. Then when other people are in the car, then it's even more— then it's even new, next level.

Yes.

So what else would you like to add, sir, about your son driving?

Oh, it's exciting. I'm looking forward to you driving less and being less stressed about it.

So the first day when Max was able to drive on his own, I looked at Seth— this is the pattern of our relationship— I looked at him and I said, how are you feeling right now? And do you remember what you said?

I do not remember.

You said, I feel great.

Yes, yes, I do.

He said, I feel great. And I was like, how is he so okay right now?

Yes, that was amazing.

So he was like the calm cucumber of the relationship.

Always. You said was like past tense, like is. Okay, not using that.

Okay, so he is always—

most likely. Oh, not always.

I'm using always in a way that you like, a positive way. He doesn't—

I'm not perfect though.

He doesn't like the word But I'm gonna use it in a positive way.

I like it in a positive way.

He is always calm as a cucumber, and when he isn't, I'm shocked. Like, totally shocked. And part of why I picked him was because he's so good for me.

Yes, thank you.

I was not calm as a cucumber. I think I was pacing, and Seth was like, he's arrived!

I was watching him on my phone.

He's like, he's okay, calm down.

Yes, I'm like, he made it in 5 minutes to his school.

So, um, our lovely neighbor who lives right behind us happened— it's really interesting— she happened to walk past us when Max was leaving for his road test.

Okay.

And so Max left with his instructor, and we were talking for a long time, and she was like, I promise it gets easier, I promise. So then she was walking behind Max when he was leaving for the first time, and she goes, did he get his license? And I'm like, he did. And she's like, it'll be about a year, you'll be okay in a year.

Is that that neighbor or that—

the one right behind us?

That neighbor?

Yes.

Okay.

So she was like, it'll take you about a year and then you'll be okay. I hope that I'm okay before a year.

I was gonna say, that's putting a long date on it.

It was just funny. She was like, "You'll be okay. You'll be okay." She's gone through it with 3 kids, so she was giving me advice. So for all of you that are going through this, we understand.

Yes.

It is a rite of passage. I told Max that I feel like you gotta learn to walk, you gotta learn to swim, you gotta learn to drive, you have to go to college, and you have to get a job.

College maybe is a teeny bit negotiable, and job could be replaced with like start a business.

Okay, but isn't a business work? Yes, you need to work.

I wouldn't label it a job because you're working for somebody— you're working for yourself. Is it somebody else?

He has to make a living.

Yes, there you go.

You have to be able to provide for yourself, even if you're gonna be like me, and even if one of them decides to stay home with their kids. I want them to be able to go out into the workforce and be able to have a career.

And theoretically, he's not having kids right after college, so he would have to learn how to provide for himself anyway. Yes, right?

We're on—

you know something I don't?

We're on the same page. He's not having kids. That's better for a long time.

Good answer.

He's 16, so his minimum requirement is 10 years.

Okay, I'm all right with that.

So maybe we should tell him that.

He's gonna listen to you.

Oh my gosh, well, thank you for listening to our craziness. Yes, it's been a wonderful week. I mean, 16 is amazing. I mean, his first internship, his SAT class, working for you. Like, this is a big year. Yes, I like this year.

I'll remember that.

I mean, he also seems really old.

Well, he's doing all these responsible things.

Um, my friend just told me that our kids spend 95% of the time that they're going to spend with us before they're 18.

Yeah, because if you think about it, he moves out, you don't see him 8, 10 hours a day.

Yeah, I'm gonna cry. Okay, but he'll always come home for food.

Yes, and enjoy it.

Okay, so So, oh, I was supposed to pick winners tonight. I failed to do that.

You'll win something someday. So maybe tomorrow.

So we had our August challenge. It was a ton of fun in the Whiny Blues and Mom group. Let me know if you want to join and I will invite you. It's a private group to support each other, lift each other up, give each other advice, blah blah blah. I probably shouldn't say blah, blah, blah.

Probably not.

But we had our August challenge and I was supposed to pick winners today, so I apologize. I got a little distracted with something going on.

Yes.

And I will make sure to announce the winners in the group. Awesome.

Podcast.

The podcast is Friday. We have a dynamic trio on the podcast. I loved talking to them. Becky, Katie, and Allie have a program for girls. What do you remember the title? Are you getting the title?

Getting you the title. Helping Girls Believe in Themselves.

Awesome. I love, I loved them. I love the work they're doing. I want to sign my girls up for their program. And I don't want to leave without telling everybody that I hope that everybody knows I need to do a whole topic on this, and you can always send me your topic requests. But I want to do a topic on being worthy because people are so critical and hard on themselves. And this is based on stuff—

research—

stuff that I know.

Yes.

Um, just, I can't even believe some of the things that women say to themselves. And we're just worthy for just being here.

You're a winner because you're alive and you made it here.

Well, and it's like we don't have to do anything to be worthy. Your performance doesn't make you worthy. Your actions don't make you worthy. Your, your mistakes don't make you unworthy. You're just worthy. So that's a whole nother topic. I just needed to say that.

Love it.

And I look forward to that topic. I appreciate you joining us. And I appreciate you. Um, everybody is so supportive, and I don't think that people realize this, but like listening to my podcast, the, the sharing and the commenting and the reviewing and all that stuff, it all is what creates all the stuff because it sends it out to more people.

Yes, the more you like, comment, share, subscribe, the more those platforms like Facebook or whoever share her content with other people. Please do so.

And the more the platforms like me—

we want them all to like you. How could anybody not like you?

Oh boy, that's a whole nother topic.

Smash that thumbs up button.

Listen, we do not have to be liked by everybody.

That's a good point.

So, um, have a wonderful week. Ella, are you coming, or— oh, she is coming. I'm shocked.

Okay, let me see about getting out of here.

Okay, thank you for joining us. I hope your summer is going lovely. You didn't know— tell me what you didn't know. Oh, she's happy you're here. I want Margaret to tell me what she didn't know. Okay, sing us out, honey.

Thank you for watching Winey Blues on Wednesday with the Greene family.

Thanks everyone. Enjoy your week. See you next week.

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