Episode 288: Unleashing Your Child’s Potential

No need to whine, it's whiny palooza. Have some wine and join us on the whiny palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the whiny palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Greene for the Whiny Palooza podcast, and I am very excited because I get to talk to Mrs. Brianne Hudak today. Brianne, thank you so much for doing this with me today.

Thanks for having me, Rebecca. It's a pleasure.

Well, I'm very excited to learn from her. She is such a smart lady with so much experience. So let me tell you about her. Um, she has— is a 16-year veteran of education serving in public, private, and charter schools. She is a passionate advocate for the gifted, a certified gifted and talented educator, and supports gifted education through her professional memberships in the National Association of Gifted Children, the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children, the North Carolina Association of the Gifted and Talented, and the Social Emotional Needs of the Gifted, serving as a state liaison. Her roles in education include teaching the gifted, STEM design engineering, theater arts, and global studies. She has also held administrative roles as a curriculum and instructional specialist teacher, mentor, coach, student activities director, dean of students, assistant principal, and K-12 school teacher. Um, Mrs. Hudak is a certified educational consultant, adjunct professor, and field supervisor, and currently is pursuing a doctorate in educational leadership focusing on combating underachievement in the gifted and talented population. Can I say holy moly to all of that? Is that so professional of me?

I have worn some hats. I've climbed the ladder and I've been through the educational trenches. I mean, yeah, I feel like I've got the years of experience plus the wisdom from these amazing positions to be an effective leader. And one thing to add to that bio is right now in North Carolina, I'm an educational entrepreneur. I'm developing a school. For the gifted and talented in Western North Carolina.

Oh my gosh, that is amazing. Wow. Oh, I am so interested in that. That is very cool. Well, I want to go back and I want you to tell us how you became an educational specialist, an education specialist, and specifically for gifted and talented children.

Um, I became an educator. I got my bachelor's degree in elementary education and I started teaching in second grade. I've taught PK-3 up to 5th grades, but my first position was 2nd grade. And while I was teaching that grade level, um, in that state, gifted and talented students hadn't been identified yet, but they were kind of clustered into groups to support each other in that classroom. So I ended up having a lot of gifted kids in my 2nd grade classroom, and I immediately became just really intrigued by their precocious nature and how they thought outside the box and how they just perceived the world differently. So I just started taking deep dives into gifted and talented education to really make sure I was meeting their needs in the classroom and to get a better understanding of their nature and how they're unique and, you know, just what sets them apart from just needing that normal traditional education and how can I advance them and move them forward confidently? So that kind of started my whole love of gifted and talented education and working with those students. I got my certification in gifted and talented after that, and I taught 4th and 5th grade gifted and talented. And then I actually transitioned over to a private school where a lot of the students were they weren't identified gifted and talented, but they had amazing talents and abilities and skills. And, you know, you just, I feel like anybody who has been around somebody who's neurodiverse and has these unique characteristics and especially teaches them and supports them really becomes a better person because they make you wanna do more and be more. Because their goal in life is to do more and be more.

Oh, I never even thought about it that way. I love that. Well, and I think that it's misunderstood. Okay, so can you tell us that, like, the terminology— what does it mean to be gifted and talented?

Gifted and talented is, um, a term for when students are developed or have the potential to be developed or have the, the, let's see, the competence, I should say, in more than one area that are advanced beyond their average peers. So they are, they, you can find gifted and talented students, they might be gifted in leadership, they could be gifted in athletics, the performing arts, their cognitive abilities. But yeah, you're really looking for those students that have the potential or already are advanced in one or more areas, really competent in them.

That makes a lot of sense. Well, and I think that, I think that the teachers and the educators are really struggling to meet their needs. I mean, can you talk to us about like what is their biggest challenge to, for these children?

The biggest challenge is kind of what you touched on a minute ago, Rebecca, is that stigma or that bias that, that label means they don't require anything, that gifted and talented means, oh, they'll be fine. They get the high scores. Everything must be going well for them. But I always use the analogy with talking about gifted and talented students as, so when you meet somebody, you know, the first thing you say to them is, hello, how are you? And the person says, I'm fine. You know, if that's the kind of answer that you got, you might be thinking in your head, Fine. Oh, I think there's something else going on there. I think there's some underlying stuff that maybe they don't want to talk about right now, or that they're feeling a certain way. And it's the same thing for gifted. To just assume that they're fine, it's not good enough. You really do have to peel back the onion layers, and there's a lot of layers with gifted and talented populations, and those layers help expose that they need support not only academically because they struggle sometimes with perfectionism or challenging themselves or boredom. And you have to support them social-emotionally because they can have anxiety, they can have some mental health issues. And I think that that is just— they're an overlooked and underserved population. And because of that, there's just not that knowledge, awareness, and support for them. So people that do know gifted people, people that are part of the gifted community, what we have to do is we have to go out there and advocate for them, and share the knowledge of what it's like to be in their shoes, how sometimes they feel like they're their own island, and how we need to bridge those gaps and discrepancies in education to provide equitable practices and interventions for them.

Well, and I, and I have often said I feel bad for teachers because You have a class of, you know, I mean, I'm going to exaggerate and say 30. I'm sure there's classes of 30, 25, 30. Every child is different. Every child's needs are different. I know my 3 kids are so different. So you have one kid who finishes the assignment in 5 minutes and is bored, and you have the other child who's taking the whole class and struggling. So how is the teacher able to accommodate all 25 different levels of children?

They have to get really comfortable and effective in differentiation, and that starts with building a relationship first and foremost with the family and with the student so that they can kind of talk through the needs of the student, how they learn the best, what kinds of things work well at home, and just create that really solid support team that advocates and goes to bat for the student. Then when you have kind of a, you know, an idea and a plan in your head to help that person be successful, then the teacher can come in and say, well, now that I know more about them, I can really target content and programming to meet their needs. I know the way they're going to learn. I know where their passions and interests are, and I can utilize all those things together to differentiate my programming so that I can move them forward. And if they are struggling in one area, we can goal set and reflect. And so, yeah, it's really just about first building those relationships and then knowing how to differentiate.

Well, and as you're talking, I'm thinking about the parents, okay, and the parents struggling to help their child. So it sounds like what you're saying is, as a parent, what I need to do is I need to connect with the teacher.

Absolutely, yes. What parents need to do to really support their child and work effectively as a team with their school, I call it the C's. So it's about clear and consistent communication and collaboration. You put that out from the beginning and again, build that positive relationship, the year is going to go really well for you because you'll have that open communication where you can talk about any concerns or you can celebrate strengths together. And you're again working as a cohesive team to move the child forward. So, you know, what does that look like in the school? It's, it's going and attending meetings. So when the teacher does have meetings, making sure you're in attendance either virtually or in person, or, you know, it's talking via email, whatever you're most comfortable with or can do on your schedule, but making sure that you're in attendance because then that shows that you show up and, and you want to be there and you want to help.

Yes.

Um, checking homework, that's a big one. Checking homework and just the child's progress overall is huge because by homework you can kind of get, um, a quick glance at how the child is doing, and you can start really seeing at home what they're struggling with. You know, is it, uh, the homework is too boring for them? And, you know, it's just a fight to try and get it done because they have no interest in this. They're not motivated by it. Or is it, you know, just too easy and they go through it and you're wondering, why did we have to waste, you know, this time in our family schedule to do the homework that obviously they had mastered the content and didn't really need? I wish I could have moved them forward somehow. So, you know, that, that's a really great way to have that conversation with the teacher to provide that feedback. And get a scope of what's going on. And then your child's overall progress. You know, when they send home benchmarks or report cards or, you know, weekly updates, being sure to really, you know, intentionally read that and be careful to notice any trends or changes so that you can pinpoint those, reach out to the teacher and say, hey, I'm seeing this, this is good, let's keep moving forward in this direction. Or, hey, I'm seeing some struggles or some challenges and help me help you and vice versa. Can you, you know, maybe connect in a different way or redirect over to something more interesting or stimulating? So that's, that's a big one. I think too, just talking about this, it's about sharing your child's challenges or their barriers, or their— and in cases of the exceptional, the gifted and talented students, what their special needs are. And sometimes they have IEPs, individualized education plans, or 504s. So making sure everybody understands them and is on the same page, big help. And I think lastly, it's right now in education, it's really about just showing respect to the teacher too, because they're— they have a lot that they're dealing with, and showing that respect for their expertise will go a long way. And it will show that you are there to support them, the child, the school, the classroom, everything.

Well, and you said so much that was so good, and, and you ended with the respect piece, which I was going to talk to you about because, you know, I hear it's, it's mostly parents listening, so I'm directing this to parents. So it's not always a great relationship between parents and teachers, and it's wonderful when it is. I mean, I have seen so many parents have successful conversations, but when it's not going well, when I feel like it becomes like you against me. Like, how can parents do a better job working with the teacher?

I think, and this can go for both sides, from the education side, when I've been mentoring and coaching teachers how to build better relationships with their families and their students, I remind them that that is the most important person to that family. You are being entrusted with a special gift. You have to take care of that and understand where they're coming from. So have that broader perspective of not just being about you, but being about the bigger picture and what's going on. And it's the same thing for parents. Understanding, like you said, you might have a teacher with a class of 30 trying to balance all of this stuff, plus have a home life, plus maybe pursuing higher education. There's a lot going on there. So just going into any conversation, understanding the bigger picture and the broader perspective is, is a win for everybody. But I think even after that, it's about bringing the knowledge to the table and that experience and expertise. So if the parent can say, here's what I've experienced with my child, here's where I think expertise in education has really been helpful in the past, And, and being able to share that to make the teacher aware, that's huge. Like we talked about with gifted, um, the more knowledge and understanding they have of the gifted population, the better they can meet their needs. So the more knowledge and understanding you have of any child, it goes for that as well, the better you can meet their needs. So, and then with the teacher, when they receive that information, it's valuable to them. Because you're going to help them work smarter, not harder, and really focus in on personalizing or tailoring the content to help the learner.

Well, and I loved everything you said, and I think one of the important things you said is that we as parents can get lost in thinking that our child is like the only child because we're so focused on our own children. So I have to remember, and other parents have to remember, I mean, these teachers have their hands full, and I appreciate everything that they do, and I want them to know that when we're talking to them, that we may be coming at them frustrated with something, but we appreciate them.

Yes. Well, and I think how you were just very transparent there, that, that just in any relationship that you're trying to make with somebody, That goes such a long way because when you say, I'm feeling this way, I'm feeling frustrated right now, but I want you to know I respect you. I respect what you do. I'm just feeling very frustrated about my child and here's what's going on. Then you kind of put everybody at ease. It's not such a head-to-head conversation. It's again, more of a cooperative discussion. On what we can do to help somebody. And I always say when I'm talking to a parent or when I'm talking to a teacher, if anybody's hotheaded, simmer down before you go into the conversation because your emotions take over. And when you have those emotions take over, you can't clearly get your message across well. It's not going to come out. It's going to be more anger and frustration, like you said. But just kind of taking a deep breath, giving yourself a day, giving yourself a few hours to, um, reflect on the situation and then go about handling it. I think that's a good route.

I think that's excellent advice. Uh, the football coach told all the parents that he won't talk to anyone until 24 hours after the game.

Mm-hmm.

And I was like, that is a really smart man because having angry parents come at you right after a game when everyone is so hot, that doesn't doesn't sound very productive. Right.

No, and you're exactly right. The whole point, and I think it's so important to have kind of an agenda, and expert teachers, they do this all the time. Expert educational leaders, they have that agenda in their head when they are getting ready to conference with parents, that they know this is what I want to accomplish, this is what I want to make sure I point out, But for parents, do the same thing. Copy that idea and you come in with your agenda, but make sure that the agenda is positive and productive so that there's a point to it and that it's not so emotional.

Yes, I just said to my friend yesterday, I said, go in and think about what is your goal, what do you want to come out with, right? Because I think, I think there are lots of ways to have effective meetings with, with teachers and staff. For sure.

Yes. And I think right now more than ever, we have to champion education in whatever model or system it is, because we have the teacher shortage, the crisis in America. And, you know, it trickles down to bus drivers, substitute teachers, fine arts teachers, coaches, just everything. So the more we can find that common ground and be always thinking about what's in the best interest of the school and the students, the more we can help increase the satisfaction levels of educators so that they feel like, wow, you know, somebody really does have confidence in me and I am doing a good job. We all want a good pat on the back. So yeah.

Yes. So, you know, we're talking about gifted. Can we switch to the kids who are struggling?

Sure.

What, I mean, what would you want parents and teachers to know to help the struggling kid?

I think the first big thing is to establish routines and structure. When you have a struggling student, it is oftentimes because they're feeling overwhelmed, they're feeling unorganized, they're just kind of all over the place in their thoughts and emotions. And what you've gotta do is kind of funnel that down, calm it down, and then introduce those routines and structures. So for example, at home, when they come home, set the routine. You know, first it's snack time. You might watch a little TV or do tablet time for this amount, and then it's homework time. Because you do wanna provide kind of those breaks in between.

Yeah.

Don't wanna give 'em something, something, something right after another because they've already done a full school day. It's like us when we come home from work. From work. We need some time to re-energize, relax, refresh. We gotta have some breaks. And so yeah, set your, set your times, um, include those breaks. Consider two study periods. I think that's really important. Not necessary because some kids, the label of homework, oof, you know, that can just have a meltdown, bring out a meltdown in them. And so think about just using kind of creative words and saying, let's do some study time. And study time is very general. It could be maybe you read a book that you like for a little while, get your reading time in. Okay, maybe for math, it's not your favorite subject, but we can flip through some flashcards today, and then that's studying our math, you know, something that's interesting to them. And then, you know, if it's science or social studies, Science, you could do a quick experiment. You can Google online 5, 10-minute STEM experiments, get them engaged in that. And then for social studies, a lot of times I've suggested to families, turn on the History Channel. Mm-hmm. And if it's age appropriate and it's something that you could talk about, just, you know, make history a conversation and not just always a worksheet or reading something or memorizing facts when, especially when they're younger. Get them to really engage with history and, and talk about how history has affected us and will impact us in the future, that's huge. So study periods rather than sometimes homework time can be helpful.

And I think that too.

Yeah, I think too, I see a lot of families struggle with extracurriculars and You know, when you have a student already struggling and then you try to put extracurriculars on them, that's too much on the plate. And so I, I remind and I always caution families to do the school-life balance. Yes. If you're seeing something going on at school and they're struggling or they're not performing as well as you want them to, consider those extracurricular activities. Are you pushing them too late in the evening so that they're not getting a good amount of sleep? Are Are they just so exhausted that they're, you know, just struggling to stay awake throughout the day and that's why their performance is low?

Such good points.

Yeah. Or are you doing an extracurricular activity that maybe you, the parent, thought was a good idea, but it's really not what they're interested in or what they get excited about? And then just talking about the parent perspective of it, parents get burned out by traveling to all the extracurriculars. So can you handle it in your schedule? And, you know, just really consider those structures and routines and how to be creative with them, and also consider that balance of school and life.

Oh, you hit the nail on the head right there on so many things. I mean, my daughter has hours of cheerleading tonight and she has a test tomorrow. And so I'm sitting here stressed about it, talking to you.

Well, yeah. You know, think about how she's feeling. She knows this stuff.

Yeah.

And to her it's like, okay, well, what do I do? So then I think you come into how important it is after you set those rules and expectations and structures to prioritize things. Do you know what is most important today? Prioritizing with, with kids, it is so beneficial and it's so meaningful to their lives because when you teach, yeah, when you teach prioritizing, they get an understanding of what's important now, how do I do time management for what's important later, and how are all of these things going to impact me and affect me academically, social-emotionally, at home, in my relationships, everything.

I said to her last night, I was like, you don't have anything tonight, so you have to buckle down and get as much done as you possibly can and study because you're busy tomorrow. So you're, you know, it's like constantly teaching them how to manage everything.

Oh, that, yeah, well, that's, that goes with, um, kind of like the overall goal for a child is to develop self-regulation. Yes. I mean, when they develop self-regulation, it's a win-win for everybody because then they have the ability to stay focused, they're organized, they can manage their time wisely, they know how to communicate their feelings and emotions. You know, like they would be comfortable telling you, Mom, today I'm really feeling overwhelmed. Can we get through this? Can you help me? You know, it helps them show care and commitment to things. And what I love about self-regulation too is it creates that independence.

Yeah.

It helps them understand that, you know, you are growing up, you are maturing, and you do have to be more independent in the choices that you make and knowing how to make the good ones.

Yes. So much to teach them. So much. Well, and you have been on such a wonderful journey and have learned so much. I mean, what do you think is something you've learned along the way that you could share with us?

I think I, I love to, to just tell families to show a genuine interest in your child's education.

Yes.

The impact that is made from that genuine interest is absolutely huge. You know, what does that look like again? It's talking about their day. How was your day? What did you learn? And engaging with them while they're doing their study time or their homework. So asking them what they're reading, or is that a good part in the book? Tell me about it. Or like I said, looking at the History Channel or finding something educational on TV and saying, oh my gosh, can you make connections to that, to anything you've learned or anything that we're dealing with at home? And, you know, just the power of asking somebody how they're doing and checking in on somebody is, it is, it's great not only for children, but for us as adults too.

Yeah.

Everybody wants to know somebody's in our corner. Cheering for us and caring for us. So I think that's a huge takeaway.

That's wonderful advice. You've had so much wonderful advice. What do you think the best piece of advice is that you've been given?

Hmm, uh, let's see. I think I learned this actually from a parent of one of my gifted and talented students years ago. At the end of the year, we were just kind of talking about the growth and the changes that we'd seen and ourselves and in the gifted student. And she gave me this little tidbit. She said, you know what, as a parent, the best way I can communicate with you and, and really work towards effectively supporting my child is by staying up to date on trends and best practices specifically related to the child. To the school, to the teacher, the programming, just knowing how to have those conversations and, and what is going on. They told me that that really helped because when they took those deep dives, again, like we said earlier, they were able to come with knowledge and understanding that helped me unlock the gifted and talented students' gifts and talents more and develop them. And so again, we created that cohesive support team and we could just move everybody forward and everybody came out feeling satisfied, positive, successful. That's the win-win. I think, I think the other thing too, reflecting now on that conversation that that parent was really saying is, gosh, how important is it to advocate for your child? Advocating for your child in school can seem intimidating, but when you've got that knowledge and information, you know, you can go in there when your child is facing challenges and say, I'm here to seek support, and I want— I can clearly explain the concerns, and I need to make sure that my child's getting the best education and services that she requires and needs.

Yes, yes. And I think that parents can feel very intimidated to go into the school and advocate for their kids, but if we're not going to advocate for our kids, who is?

Exactly.

I always think that. So I have asked you so many questions. Is there anything else that you want to share that I didn't ask you?

Well, piggybacking on that last part too, You, you touched on it, Rebecca Greene. How important is it too, as a parent, to go into the schools as a volunteer and, you know, focus on the positive things that are going on in the schools, the happenings, the operations, and getting to know the school better so that you can help the school become more effective for the students and the families that are enrolled? I mean, it's It's just, again, I think about getting in there and making sure that you are positively a change agent. You want to do things that affect the environment and the students positively and again, move things forward.

Absolutely.

But to your, to your last question, let's see, takeaways from this conversation Supporting your child's educational journey, it's gotta be authentic, it's gotta be intentional. You have to be the positive role model for your child. And that, what does that look like? It's fostering that love of lifelong learning. It's being a critical thinker and it's using your creativity and innovation to problem solve. Because when they see you doing those things, they're going to do and, you know, emulate that. And that's going to help them so much holistically develop.

Yes. I'm laughing because the other day I was like, oh my God, this stupid homework. And then I was like, oh, you're being a terrible role model right now. We have to be a good role model for our children.

Well, yes, and you'd say the same thing to educators.

Yes.

I just love how all of this circles back and is so cyclical because students— you want students to be a good role model for other students. You want your, your parents to be a good role model for you. You want your educators to be good role models. You want your educational leaders to be good role models.

Yes.

So yeah, I feel like those are kind of— when I think about leadership and, you know, really growing yourself and wanting to progress, those are characteristics that stand out to me. And I think too, when you're a role model, you're also encouraging your children, like you were just talking about, to explore new things, to think outside the box, to, to take on challenges. Don't be afraid. You know, investigate things, learn those broader perspectives. And I always go back to that whole do more, be more that I really learned about teaching gifted and talented students. If you're not looking at your life and trying to find its meaning and purpose, then you're just not going to be as satisfied and happy. And happiness makes the world go round. Happy people breed happy people, and it's a domino effect.

Oh my gosh, that is so true. That is very true. Well, for everyone who wants to follow you and your journey and the new school that's coming and everything else fabulous you do, where can we find you?

Uh, let's see, I, my services. So I write articles and I design developmental workshops or trainings and presentations. Focused on establishing those effective support groups that include the families, the educators, the specialists, and the students, everybody together to provide the best educational experiences for learners. My coaching and consulting services kind of, you know, focused around all that, that can be found on my website. The website's www.rebecca-greenespecialist.com. Helpmehudak.com. And I've got a blog on there called Hudak Helpings. And I offer, yeah, a little bite-sized educational insight. And really what you'll see is it just, I always just am honored to support educators, specialists, and families in their overall awareness of practices and resources and learning how to navigate our schools to meet the needs of all students, not just theirs, but, you know, again, thinking big picture, all students.

Well, I certainly appreciate all that you're doing and all that you have taught us today. This was really helpful, and I can't thank you enough.

Well, thank you for having me, Rebecca Greene. It was a pleasure, like I said before, and I'm I do. I hope that everybody walks away from this episode just understanding the power of positivity and the power of awareness, check-ins, and how to really be more and do more.

I love that. I'm writing that line down. You said that before. Be more, do more.

I love that. Yeah. I had one year in my office I had a child make me a sign that said, "Be more, do more," and it was rainbows and stars and smiley faces and just, you know, happy, positive things. And I just kind of honed in on it and said, I think that's, I think that's like the key. Be more, do more. And we're going to make positive impacts on the world.

Absolutely. And you absolutely are. And I appreciate your time and expertise today.

Thank you.

This is Rebecca Greene reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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