Episode 291: Lessons Learned from Britney Spears New Book

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No need to whine and whine. Welcome to the Winey Palooza podcast.

I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! It's Winey Palooza Wednesday! Grab some wine and join us on the Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

We got love, we got laughter, and all the lights, so tune in and join us live on Wednesday night.

Chop chop chicken! I realized that Ella starts with— no need to whine. Yes, we've missed a line. It's Whiny Palooza Wednesday. Yes, I missed a line. It's okay, it's all good. Bye guys, thanks for singing. Have a nice one.

You will have a lovely Whiny Palooza Wednesday.

Hey babe. Yes, you did it again.

What'd I do?

Oops, I did it again.

What did I do?

Move over. Okay, I'm trying to get away from the blinds.

Oh, I did not know that.

Do you want the blinds in the background.

I don't want them if you don't want them. So if you don't want them, they must be terrible.

Oh my God, we're both very punchy. Would you like to tell—

husband response—

it was a really good one. Would you like to tell everyone why we are punchy?

Because you got up at like 5 in the morning, 4 in the morning, probably 4 in the morning.

So how is everyone doing with the change?

Yeah, it's really 10 o'clock, right?

Well, yesterday, yesterday at 9:30 I was falling asleep. Yes. And I was up by 4 o'clock.

Yes.

So enough about the time change that we love. I did hear that the time change is ending, which when I get off of this I'm gonna go look it up because I swear maybe the next one is the last one. Does anyone know anything? Anybody know anything out there?

You're talking about when they're getting rid of it?

I heard that they're getting rid of the time change, so I don't think it's this time, I think it's the next time. Okay, I'm gonna look it up as soon as we get off of this.

Okay, it's very important to find out. You have a goal to look forward to.

Oh my gosh, I'm tired and punchy, but I'm here.

You're here, you're fabulous.

I would like to show you, if you're watching on Facebook or YouTube, you can see the Britney Spears book that I'm holding up called The Woman in Me. This is the book. I knew I would read it super fast. I read it super fast. Have you read it? Tell me your thoughts if you have read it. My honey has not read it.

I will read it next.

Are you gonna read it?

Yeah, I'm gonna read it.

Oh, I did not know that. Seth loves to read more than me. I love to read, he loves to read triple times me.

Triple.

And he reads everything.

Yes.

Right? Yes. So I loved Britney since I was a little lass. I mean, like, when did she— I should have looked this up.

Yeah, I'll go find out.

When did Britney rise to fame. When did like, um, Baby One More Time— yeah, Hit Me Baby One More Time— when did that come out?

Yeah, we're gonna find out.

So when she came out, I was a huge fan, and I was always a huge fan.

1998.

So since 1998, I have been a Britney fan. Uh, my friend asked me if I'm Team Britney or Team Justin after reading the book.

So we got this all from this whole team thing. From now there's teams, right? It was Team Ariana and Team Tom, and then before that it was the Twilight— which team were you on for Twilight?

Yeah, I'm— I've always been Team Britney. Did you know that?

I didn't know there was a team not Britney. So up until you reading this book, I didn't know there was a Team Justin.

Some people are Team Justin and some people are Team Britney.

Oh my Lord.

So I'm Team Britney. I've always been Team Britney. And I knew a lot of what she wrote about, but I didn't know a lot about what she wrote about. So I learned a lot. And if you're on social media, it is all over social media, so you have probably learned a lot too. I am going to warn you, if you have not read the book—

here comes some spoilers—

I am going to spoil some things for you. So So you might want to save this and listen to it after you read the book. And if you don't care, a lot of you don't care, then you can just listen to the spoilers.

There you go.

So what I want to say is what it probably feels so cathartic and therapeutic that she got all of this out.

Yeah.

I mean, she had all this pent-up frustration and rage and pain and she got it out. So good for Brittany. And as we learn lessons from Brittany tonight, the first lesson is get it out. And for me, my two main ways that I get my feelings out are writing. I love, love, love to write and talking and having my husband, my mother, my friend listen. Is really good for me. So I hope you have— I hope you have a way to get out your feelings. I know some people dance, some people sing, some people do art. Get it out. So that's lesson number 1. Brittany, I'm so glad you got it out. And people have a lot of pain that we don't know about. People are not walking around telling you everything. You might think it is very, very common that people think that someone has a perfect life or that someone doesn't have any problems. I think that's one of the most common themes that I hear, and it is never ever true. There is never a person who doesn't have pain that is inside of them. It is to degrees, and it depends on the timing, like, are they over the pain? But I will tell you that Brittany had pain that she was hiding that she never told anybody until this book. How the heck did she keep this stuff under wraps until the book?

Don't say anything and bottle it all up, right?

But I mean, okay, so people without problems are in the cemetery. Oh, and I want to tell you something wonderful that Seth said today.

What did I say that was wonderful?

Women, you are going to love this.

I'm excited. I don't know what we're talking about.

I was carrying stuff to the garage fridge from dinner to put stuff away, and I was like, it's endless.

Yes, you were complaining about the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry.

And I just did a lot, like cooking dinner tonight was a lot for some reason, setting the table and cleaning it up. And I was like, it's endless. And Seth said, you want it to be endless. You don't want it to end. And when he said that, it shook me out of my state that we don't want it to end. We want to have— the list is endless. That is life. And that just helped me. So I want to share. But let's go back to Brittany. Yes. She had a lot of— has a lot of pain that none of us knew about. And she's not alone. There's a lot of people that have pain that they're hiding. They might act out because of the pain that they're hiding. And she told the world that when she was dating Justin Timberlake, if you've been living under a rock, maybe you don't know, or maybe you don't care. And that's why you don't know that Britney dated Justin Timberlake a long time ago, back in like 2000 for 3, like 3 years. It was 3 years around 2000. Is, if I'm, if I'm remembering correctly. Anyways, she did get pregnant at age 19, and according to Brittany, he wanted her to have an abortion. And what about her? She didn't talk about much what she wanted. I have a feeling she wanted to keep the baby. So because Justin did not want to become a father This is what she says. She had an abortion that nobody knew about until this book, and the relationship ended because she cheated on, on Justin. But why are you looking at me cheating on her? Well, the relationship ended because she cheated and he made it out like she was this huge villain, but he didn't tell the world that he had also cheated on Brittany.

Got it.

So Brittany is like, hey, he cheated on me more than once, and I kissed a guy once, and he makes this huge deal and makes me look like a villain. So number one, we don't know what people are hiding. And number two, we don't know how people are allowing others to treat them, because people only treat us how we allow them to treat us. And she allowed him to cheat on her and didn't say much about it.

So I needed that— not the cheating, but the which people treat you how you allow them to treat you. And thank you for sharing that. That, that is helpful for something totally unrelated to you that I'm dealing with.

Well, I mean, when I was reading this book the whole time, you know, as an advocate, as a social worker, I think for me personally, having my love love in quotes for Brittany. I think over these past 20 years, 20-plus years, all I've wanted to do is help her. Seth and I joke all the time that I want to be her social worker and I want to help her because she needs help. And reading this book, all I was thinking the whole time was, oh my gosh, you're letting your family treat you poorly, your kids treat you poorly, your husband treats you poorly, your boyfriend treats you poorly. Why are you allowing all these people to treat you poorly. Why did she allow that? And she didn't have her voice yet, is what I think, which is so sad. I didn't know half of the stuff that she went through, and, um, I really give her kudos for sharing with us. That was a lot. That was a lot to share. So if you already know this Um, forgive the repeat, but some of you will not know this, that Britney kind of went crazy in quotes and shaved her head. And they showed pictures of her shaving her head, and they showed pictures of her like hitting a car with her umbrella, if I'm remembering that correctly. And everybody was like, Britney's losing it, Britney's crazy. Well, first of all, if you had paparazzi following you all the time, how would you feel? And second of all, the woman had so much pain. If somebody is acting out and they're doing things like shaving their head, they're abnormal behavior, abnormal behavior. They're just showing us that they're in pain. It's like, I'm in pain, I'm acting out. If your child is acting out, I'm in pain, I'm suffering, I'm struggling, I'm struggling. That's the line. If you see someone acting out, it's because they're struggling inside. So they don't need— they need love. They need love. They need support. And the theme with celebrities, what does not make me want to be a celebrity, is the loneliness that they talk about. You go and you do a show, and then you go back to your hotel room by yourself. Like, that doesn't sound fun to me. I just heard so much loneliness and so much pain. And yes, her acting out was her pain. So what did her parents do? Do you know what her parents did in response to that, Seth?

Locked her up.

Like, took over her life. Her dad became her conservator. Is that how you say it? So she had a conservatorship. I can't pronounce the word. And her father was in charge of it, a man who she was afraid of, who she didn't like, who was an alcoholic. So how did he end up in charge is what I want to know. Like, if you think that she's losing it and she needs someone in charge of her life, wouldn't you put someone in charge of her life who had their life together, who she trusted?

Well, maybe he was the one who forced— who filed for the conservatorship and said I should be in charge. And he is her father, and he probably didn't say in court, hey, I'm an alcoholic who's all messed up. He probably presented himself well. And no one else was saying, no, no, no, he shouldn't do it, I should do it. So he got it.

Well, and we didn't know the half of what that meant as far as the control of their life, giving her drugs that she didn't want, you know, like medicating her, not letting her drive, not giving her— well, and she—

Heidi says, why did Lynn, her mom, let it happen?

And she talks about that. It sounds like her mom was on her dad's side, even when they weren't married, because they did get divorced. It sounds like Lynn was on the dad's side and agreed with this whole thing, because I think that— I think that it began with maybe they really did think she needed help, maybe they really did think she was out of control, and maybe they thought they were doing the right thing.

Or maybe dad brainwashed mom too.

Well, but it went on forever. Like, when was this gonna end? Were they never going to let her out of this? So I didn't know the details. I didn't know how restrictive they were being of her, you know, who she dates, where she goes, what she eats. He was making her eat chicken and vegetables all the time and calling her fat. That's not a good dad. Not a good dad. And I hope I'm not giving too much away, Seth, because I know you want to read it.

You already told me all this, so it's all good. Well, I already got all the spoilers.

So she's in the conservatorship, she doesn't like it, she wants out of it, and she assumes— they tell her that she has a lawyer that she has to keep, and I believe they chose the lawyer. She just assumed this.

Yes, Melissa's asking, is this the Britney book?

Talking about the Britney book.

I love lots of spoilers if you haven't read it yet.

Sorry, Melissa, I'm giving away spoilers. So she's in the conservatorship and they're telling her that she could only have the lawyer that they've assigned to her and Britney believes it. So lesson, like screaming so many lessons, you're going to read this book and you're going to learn so much about what not to do and what to do. Never assume anything. She needed to gather information. And find— I don't even know, as I'm thinking about this, I don't even know if she could have because they were monitoring her cell phone, they were monitoring her phone calls. The woman was under such lock and key, I don't know how much information she could gather. But she eventually finds out that she can get her own lawyer who then helps her get out of the conservatorship. But that took 13 years.

That's crazy.

Isn't that crazy?

Jail sentence.

She was in jail. They sent her to rehab over and over and over again. They sent her to rehab over like energy pills. It's like they were finding reasons to lock her up. Did they really think they were helping her, or were they just trying to lock her up? Did they just want her? She questions if they just wanted her for her money. So she talked about how she would be working and performing and working and working and working, and they would all be like out to dinner or out on vacation And, ugh, made me so angry to read about it. And I'm so glad that she finally got out of it. And one of the ways that she got out of it is because a nurse at the rehab showed her on TV the Free Britney movement, which she didn't know about. And her fans were putting pieces together and figuring out that she was being locked up against her will. And they realized that she needed out of the conservatorship, she needed out of rehab, and the fans were coming together and forming this Free Britney movement. And I think that that partly saved her because she saw this at the rehab and she saw that people were fighting for her, believing in her, and saw that there was an issue. So we don't realize the effect that we have on people's lives. So lesson number 1 is we don't realize the effect that we can have, good or bad. And reason number— and, and lesson number 2 is that we all need support. Support. And when we're in this bubble by ourselves, in this conservatorship by ourselves, then you're kind of just kind of getting more and more depressed and just kind of like not saying anything and succumbing to it and not having a voice. And when you see the support, it was giving her the strength that she needed to get her own lawyer and get out of it. But holy moly, what this woman has been through. Oh my goodness, we have some laughter. I wonder if the laughter is, yes, I am talking about Britney Spears. And I— and it's not funny. I mean, it's not a funny book. It's very serious. And I just cannot believe what this woman has gone through. And my hope for her is that she's out of it and she can make a good life for herself and her parents can leave her freaking alone. Like, leave her alone. Let her have a good life. And I hope to God that it goes up for her from here. So I think she has finally found her voice. And the hugest lesson for me in this whole book is that we have to speak up for ourselves, that we are our own best advocate, and that we have to have a voice.

Amen.

So I was reading this book in bed going, oh my God, oh my God. I'm like, Seth, I gotta tell you this and I gotta tell you that. Really good book, read it really fast, knew that I would read it really fast, learned a lot, enjoyed it. And I think that she needs to keep writing.

Well, hopefully she'll have the next book that she writes will be positive and all look at what I've done now.

Oh, I— How I Turned My Life Around.

Yes, there you go. That's a good title for you.

Let's do it, Brittany. So I'm a Brittany fan. I'm Team Brittany. I am impressed with her. I'm happy where she is. I hope she moves up from here, and I hope we all read it and learn from her and have a voice, people. Anything that you want to ask or add to the conversation?

I don't— I'll, I'll be reading the book.

Um, well, I'm gonna tell you about the winner while I look up.

Yes, we have a challenge winner!

We have a challenge winner! So the November Thankful Challenge was so much fun. I love doing these challenges. Go find me in my Whiny Plus a Mom group on Facebook. It's free. It's supposed to be support for, support for for moms. It doesn't— you don't have to be a mom, but let me just look real fast. Okay, we did Brianne. Who's next? Who's this week? See if you can see it. I can't see it. I don't know why it's not working. Anyways, so we did a challenge in November, and the winner is Patty Wilson. Patty, I don't know if you're listening. I don't know if you saw on Facebook. Oh, thank you, Melissa. Thank you for being part of the, the Whiny Palooza Mom group.

Melissa says, I love the Whiny Palooza Mom group.

It is— so we're supposed to be talking about how we need support. So what challenges are you having? What successes are you having to share with others? What questions do you have? So did you find it?

Isn't that it? 289 is after 288. 288 is Korean.

No.

Okay, then I got nothing. Tune in to the blog, uh, the podcast on Friday. It'll be awesome, whatever it is.

Okay, so we did our challenge. We have a winner. Patty is the winner. We will get Patty a prize. And we have a new podcast out every Friday. And what else do we want to share, honey?

On the podcast, if you could like it, if you could rate it 5 stars, if you could click the button and write a review, even if it's 2 sentences about how wonderful it is. That will help the algorithms so that they show it to more moms and this wonderful lady can help more people.

Well, and share it. Share it with people you think would benefit. Share it with another mom.

Tag a mom.

So for tonight, share it with somebody who is reading Brittany, wants to read Brittany, likes Brittany. Share it, people.

Has heard that there's a Brittany.

Has heard that there's a Brittany. So thank you so much. For listening and commenting and all the good stuff. And we appreciate you. And thank you for humoring me and talking about Brittany with me.

You are welcome, my pleasure.

And what I wanna say, what I meant to say at the beginning, is I am kicking myself because my wonderful husband used to travel all the time before the pandemic. And he would go to Vegas all the time for conferences. And he would be telling me about these amazing conferences and bump into celebrities and send me videos of who he was bumping into. And he's like, Britney's playing in Vegas, let me take you. And I was like, no, I want to stay home with—

can't leave the kids.

I can't leave the kids.

Literally every time I stayed in the hotel where she was in residence at, I'm like, this is where she is. So Britney, we need you to go on another tour after the book so that I can finally get her out of the house.

So what I'm going to say is I'm kicking myself for not going, and I am saying that Britney Spears needs to come back. She needs her creative freedom back, and hopefully she will go on tour again and I will get to see her.

New album, new tour.

Yes, yes. So don't say no to your husband when he asks to take you to Vegas. That was a bad move. Bad, bad, bad.

I tried, woman.

Well, thank you for trying, and I hope you will keep trying, and I hope you will take me when she comes out on tour, because I'm sure she will.

Awesome.

Okay, everyone, have a wonderful week and thank you for joining us.

Thank you for watching Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family. Oh, Melissa says a book tour with a small stage show.

I would love that. Let's put it out there, Melissa. Sign her up. I'm gonna see her eventually.

Thanks, everybody.

Bye.

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