Episode 302: Navigating the Teenage Years

No need to whine, it's whiny palooza. Have some wine and join us on the whiny palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the whiny palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday!

Welcome to Whiny Palooza Wednesday!

It is the Wednesday before Christmas. How is everyone doing?

Christmas shopping done?

Are you ready for Christmas? Are you hanging on by a thread? Are you feeling overwhelmed? I hope that we can make you laugh and inspire you and give you a little break from the Christmas madness.

I'm checking, making sure you're live everywhere you're supposed to be.

That's so nice of you.

Yes, you are where you're supposed to be.

Um, my fabulous husband Oh, that's mean. Worked a very long day and then came home and just did a huge pile of dishes.

I did do the dishes.

So I'm feeling the love.

Yay, acts of service, honey, it's your love language.

I did not expect that at all. I, yes, by 9 o'clock at night, I'm ready for bed. So this is super impressive that I'm here. 6 o'clock AM is rough. If you are a morning person, tell me your secret. I have tried going to bed earlier. That doesn't work. So if you have a secret of how you are a morning person who gets up super early, send it my way.

How you are a morning person who gets up super early and is happy about it. How about that?

Yes.

And keep your energy up without endless amounts of caffeine.

Hey, I did well from 6 to 6. I think that's pretty good. Pretty good.

That's impressive.

12 hours of labor and then I crash, but here I am.

Yes, you made it.

And I am here to talk about something very exciting. Seth and I just recorded my 300th episode of my podcast.

That is amazing that you've done 300 episodes. Congratulations.

I, when my producer emailed me and said, just an FYI, your 300th episode is coming. I had to think about that for a minute. And I was like, wow, that is like monumental. I feel like I should. Okay. So the good news is, I had my favorite guest on. That's me for the 300th podcast episode. But I feel like we should have done something like monumental.

So you're saying I'm not monumental?

You're always monumental. But I'm just saying that I feel like we should have done something like Bigger? Something big.

All right, well, you could come up with it for 400.

Okay, we're gonna think for the next 100 episodes about what 400 is gonna be, but it's been an amazing journey, and we had a great episode that's gonna air on Friday, so tune in and listen to us.

So I'm the special guest for Friday.

You are the special guest.

How about that?

You are very special. You are my favorite guest.

Well, thank you.

And thank you.

You're just saying that because you're married to me.

Oh my God, cut it out. So how many times do you think you've been on the podcast?

That's an excellent trivia question. We should look that up.

I'm gonna look it up. And so you come on for our anniversary.

Yeah.

So that's been like 3.

Yeah.

You come— you came on for Father's Day with, with— so Max, you did my special. You've done some marital—

oh baby, yeah, we might be somewhere between 5 and 10.

Uh, so the next one will be Maybe we should do Valentine's.

We should do a marital one for Valentine's.

I think we should do a marital one for Valentine's Day.

I'm coming back, people.

Unless we want to air the lady that I talked to today who was absolutely amazing. Um, I think that's number one on this journey and the amazing life lessons. I get to talk to the best people in the world. Like, I, I have to pinch myself sometimes when I'm talking to these people. Like, this is my job. This is who I get to talk to today. The lady I spoke to was in Ghana. Am I saying it right?

Yeah.

Working on a safe house for women and children.

Wow.

I mean, I told her, could this— could your work be any more godly than this?

That's awesome.

So her and her husband got divorced, and on her journey to work on herself, they got back together. And now she helps other couples with their marriage. And Seth, I'm gonna make you listen to this one.

Okay, I love listening to your show. You don't have to make me.

Well, some of them I'm like, you know, our marriage is like number one.

Yes.

So this one you're gonna listen to. So I will let everyone know when Claire's podcast comes out. But what an amazing lady.

How did that lead her to Ghana? Well, we'll listen to the show to find out.

She, she does, um, more than just help marriages. Obviously she does. She, she— this is part of her work.

That's amazing.

I know, I was just like, oh my God, break in Ghana, baby. I was like, this is who I get to talk to. So I get to talk to experts every week and learn from them. And the people that they are finding for me— my producer finds amazing people, Seth finds amazing people, I find amazing people. And not only do I get to meet people and connect with people, but I also get to talk to my friends and family on the podcast and it brings me closer to them too. So that was number 1 and number 3. Let's go back to number 2.

2.

And I am going to tell you all that one of the things that I keep learning over and over again is that repetition is a gift. Seth and I just talked about this before we got on the vlog with one of his clients that We need repetition and I need people to tell me that Seth has a different love language than me and guess what? I may forget.

What?

Never. Seth needs to remind me. Marital experts need to remind me. Am I giving him his auditory love that he needs? He needs to hear it from me.

Words of affirmation.

Am I telling him how appreciated he is every day? Am I telling him how much I love him every day? Is he doing acts of service like doing the dishes And it's not— I almost said, see what I've learned on this journey? I almost said he did the dishes for me. The dishes are not for me. The dishes are for our house and our family.

We all need clean dishes.

So Melissa, you're not here and you're not listening, but Melissa, one of my two-time guests, taught me that. So I need to hear things more than once, and I need people to tell me over and over again to be the calm during my children's storm. And I need to hear that every day. And I need to tell myself that every day. It doesn't take one time to learn something. I learned in my studies that it takes 300 repetitions to learn something. 300.

300.

Okay. We could have a separate episode where I respectfully disagree with that.

Hey, it was psychological study.

It doesn't take me 300 times to learn something. I did something once the other day and I've got it.

Honey, you're not very normal.

True. You got me there.

You are like not normal at all.

Okay.

One of the many reasons I chose you. One of the many, many reasons that I— I know I like that you're not normal. I don't want you to be normal. Normal is boring.

There you go.

I want you to be you.

I am myself.

Okay.

Moving right along.

One of my guests told me one of the most magical statements I've ever heard. And she said that my podcast was a light in this world.

That's beautiful.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because that's beautiful.

So I get to spread love, laughter, and learning every single time that I send a podcast out to the universe. And Lily, yes, go upstairs. She's loud and on the phone and distracting. I just need like 10 more minutes, girl. Okay, so if I can give a tip to a mom who needs it, if I can make a mom feel like she's not alone, if, if I can help someone, if I can be a light for someone, if I can help someone feel like they're, you know, what is— are you emotional?

Me looking at you is better for my eyes at the moment than me looking at the screen.

Oh, he has been at work For like 12— for, yeah, for like 12 hours.

And my— I ran out of eye drops.

Okay, well, look, you don't have to look at the screen at all.

I'm looking at you.

You just look at me. I just— you just looked emotional. So you're not emotional, your eyes. Yes, it's all you. I thought that you were touched.

I am touched by your podcast.

Oh my God. Okay, so where was I? So I have said this many, many times, but I wish that I had this when I had babies. So I'm happy if you have babies or kids and you have podcasts to listen to to help you. Amazing. I use them now. I wish I had them from the beginning. That's all I'm gonna say. My podcast has taught me to keep an open mind. And it started with me having a certain expectation of a guest. And I would get all of these guest recommendations. They send me so many people. And I found that I just wanted to say yes. Just say yes. Why do I need to say no? Can you tell me that?

Do you actually want the answer to that?

Yeah.

'Cause every guest isn't a good fit for you, and there are things that are better and higher uses of your time sometimes.

So who would be a bad fit?

As an example, the bigger your show gets, the more important it's going to be who you say no to than who you say yes to.

Okay. So I agree and I disagree.

Okay. Awesome.

So in my quest of 300 episodes, what I have learned is that someone that I don't think is a good fit turns out to be an amazing podcast and it's happened more than once, which has opened my mind. And when something opens my mind, it generalizes to other areas of my life. So not only have I become more open-minded on my podcast, it has also trickled out to the rest of my life.

Well, that's awesome.

And my guests stretch my mind because I may think as a therapist something specific, and the therapist opens my mind, the counselor, the coach, the advisor, whoever I'm talking to, the psychologist, they say it in a different way or disagree with me or have another way of looking at something. And I'm like, oh, my world is expanding. So I value being open-minded. And I think this podcast has made me more open-minded.

That's awesome.

I mean, do you think so?

I agree. And a mind stretched can never return to its original dimensions. So that's awesome.

Oh, I love that line. I want to tell you one of Claire's lines today.

Awesome.

No, not a line, a word. I want to add a word to our sentences.

Okay.

When we, when necessary or when appropriate, you and I are going to add the word yet.

Okay.

Okay. So I wish I could think of an example off the cuff.

Not quite there yet.

So instead of being frustrated and upset about something, she adds the word "yet." And because of her neuroscience studies, she has learned that the word "yet" changes your brain.

Yeah, it's uplifting. It ends in a positive, hopeful note.

Isn't that awesome? See what I learn?

That's awesome.

Never ever have I learned that in 47 years. That's new to me today.

Wow. You learned something new today. That is awesome. You didn't already know that from your master's degree and decades of social work.

Okay. And FYI, I never ever will ever think that I know everything.

Awesome.

About any topic.

Worth the price of admission right there, folks.

No, you know that already. Are you being funny or do you really know that about me?

I know that you are always learning.

I know. That there is no way in hell I could study marriage every day of my life and I could still learn something about marriage.

Right? Right.

Okay. So what else? What did you call this topic? What was your topic that you came in and told me? You changed the title.

I changed it from Life Lessons.

Life Lessons. Ah, there it is. Okay. So my life lessons. My life lesson is to be a better listener. And my guests have taught me that. My podcast has taught me that because my job— and Seth is the master. So Seth, if I say something wrong about the podcast, it's your job to tell me that I'm wrong. I think— okay, I think that it's my job as the host to showcase my guests.

Agreed, 100%.

Okay, so if I want to showcase someone— now, if you know me personally, you know that I'm outgoing. Being outgoing doesn't mean that I need to talk nonstop. There's a difference between those two things. So when I have a guest on, I want to showcase my guest, and I don't want— I, I don't want to talk just to talk. I want to talk when it's necessary and to lead the podcast and to comment on what they're saying. So in that 300-episode journey of me listening to my guests, it's made me a better listener.

That is awesome. You are now— I— there are two types of— there's listening to listen, which is what you're doing, and then listening to respond.

Yeah.

And I think you were always a good listener. I think you've gotten great at it.

I think that I was listening to respond. I think that I was thinking about when you were talking or when anyone was talking, I was thinking about what am I going to say to this person when they're done talking? Or when it's— when is it my turn? That was in my head a lot. When is it my turn? And now I don't do that because 45 minutes of talking to a guest, I don't want to talk for 45 minutes. I want them to talk for what, Seth?

80% of the time.

80% of that 45 minutes. So that has definitely changed me, definitely made me better, definitely made me a better listener. And taught me to listen to listen.

That's awesome.

In life. And because I'm interested in what they have to say, so I'm listening intently. So it's made me a better listener.

That's awesome.

So that goes to self-growth, right?

Yes.

And never in a million years did Seth and I think that I was going to start this podcast and I was going to have a ton of self-growth. Growth. I can't say it. There's no way that we could have predicted how I was going to change. Would you agree with that?

Yeah, your personal development has been amazing.

I mean, that's all you need to do it for. If, if you want to do a podcast, do— I know you— I know people do it for business purposes, and I'm 100% on board with that, but do it for your own growth, because talking to people every week about awesome topics is going to make you, force you to grow. I don't know how you wouldn't.

You'd have to work harder to avoid the growth than you would to grow.

Well, and I said that it made me more open-minded, but I also think it made me more flexible. Like, you were making fun of me. No, you weren't making fun of me. That's the wrong way to say it. You were questioning why I was doing a podcast on a Saturday morning, but it was the best time for my guests. And I can do a Saturday morning. I can do— I have a podcast. I mean, don't get mad, but I have a 6 o'clock podcast booked the first week in January because there's a huge time difference.

That is a challenge when you have people on other sides of the planet.

Well, and not only has it made me flexible because of my guests and what they need, and if I want someone to be a guest, I'm gonna work with them to make it work. But like yesterday, I was laughing at myself because I went from the pot— do it— from planning for a podcast to writing my blog to doing the laundry to answering some emails to cooking some food to running to the grocery store. And I'm like, oh my gosh, you wear Like it just hit me yesterday. It just hit me yesterday that I couldn't believe how flexible I am in my day. Like put on the social worker hat, put on the mom hat, put on the taxi hat, right?

You got to get you a bunch of hats, right?

So depending on the moment, I feel like working and working the way that I work and doing the podcast and throwing in, it's, I mean, it's made me more flexible. For sure. It's stretching me.

Yes.

Stretching me and changing me.

Yes, all good things.

Can you imagine what's gonna happen in the next 100?

I'm excited.

Okay, it's made me more assertive. It's made me less shy. Am I shy? No. I'm not, ah, okay, so on a scale of 1 to 10, maybe a 2.

Okay, that's fair.

Okay. Um, shy in the fact of, oh, I'm not going to ask them to be on my podcast. Like, what if they say no?

Oh my God, you used to drive me nuts worrying about that. So they say no, go move on to the next one. Who cares? Yes, you've made big strides.

Well, so like, maybe they're shy and they don't want to be on the podcast. Maybe they're uncomfortable. Maybe it's not their thing. Like, it's not everyone's thing. So first of all, if I ask you, you can say no. I'm used to it by now. She's been rejected 300 episodes later. I've gotten rejected. My father rejected me. He's probably going to listen to this. So it's okay if I ask you and you say no. The other side of the coin is maybe I haven't asked you and you want me to. Please don't be shy, just come tell me.

Promote yourself, right? I'd love to be on your show, Rebecca Greene.

So it's made me more assertive, not only because of wanting to ask people to be on, which takes some getting used to. He doesn't understand because he's so assertive. Like, on a scale of 1 to 10, Seth's probably an 11. Okay, thanks. You're very assertive. It's very attractive.

Well, that's good.

This is like the yin and the yang of the relationship. So you, you have made me more assertive.

Awesome.

You have brought me up.

That's good.

And I also have to be assertive with my guests because I have an agenda.

Yes.

Do I want them to get their agenda across? 100%. They want to promote things. They want to talk about certain topics. We've talked about that before the episode, and I want them to get their agenda. However, I have stuff I want to talk about, and I have stuff that I may want to change too.

And you have a limited time, and time is an issue.

So it's made me more assertive.

Yay!

Okay, so I think that one of the things that keeps coming up is authenticity. And I have learned on this journey that the more authentic I am, the more interested I am, the better the podcast does. So if I'm me and I'm true to me and I'm true to my passions, then it comes out, it oozes out, and then you like the show better. So it's made me be even more authentic and even more real and want to give that to you. So, wow, is all I can say. I had fun writing this. I bet you probably could tell when you read it.

It makes you reflect.

I like reflecting. I like learning and growing. I think that what I want to do is spend time thinking about what I want from the next 100. That's a great idea, right?

Think it, paint the picture in advance.

Yes. So if you have listened, thank you so much. If you've shared it, if you've reviewed it, if you've— if you've rated it, I just can't thank you enough. And if you have guest suggestions, you or somebody else, don't ever hesitate to reach out to me. I'm open, I'm flexible, I want to hear from you. If you loved someone and you want them to come back, tell me. If you didn't think someone was the best guest, I could learn from that. Was it something I did? Was it something they did?

Was it all my fault?

Was it all Seth's fault? Is Seth the best guest?

Probably not.

Who do you, um, the most, the most—

you should go look and see who got the most downloads.

We will. We definitely should see who got the most downloads. I will say the most text messages and Facebook messages are about Ella's, Ella's episodes.

Ella, our daughter.

Yeah.

Wow.

So when Ella comes on the pod, Ella is such an old soul, don't you think?

Yes.

And the things that she says blows me away. But it's not just blowing me away, it's blowing other people away. And they're reaching out and they're telling me.

That's awesome. I didn't know that.

And I, and I haven't told Seth that. And I love that. And I can't tell you how much it means to me I mean I don't know that people are listening so someone will text me—

You can have like hundreds of thousands of downloads but you don't even know if people listen?

No no! People aren't listening... No no no! I don't know that people I know okay?! So people are listening because we have the numbers so thank you!

We have proof! Hahaha! We're not talking to empty air.

I love when I find out I'm not talking to empty air but talking to myself helps too helping myself if I am not helping anyone else then help yourself Fair enough. But when people text me and are like, I listened to that episode, it was really helpful, thank you so much, or I loved that guest, or I loved what you asked her. I mean, it means the world to me because your feedback helps me. So thank you for 300 episodes. It's been amazing. Listen to our special on Friday. And the Whiny Plus a Mom group is on Facebook. Come find us and join. It's free. It's supportive. It's wonderful. I had 4 prize winners for the December holiday challenge, and forgive me, Hanukkah threw me over, over the edge. Not over the edge, but it threw me for a loop and put off me buying prizes. So I will get prizes to you this week.

Rebecca Greene also now has a 3 times a week email newsletter with different things every single, every single day that it airs. If you would like to get on that list, comment, message, and she will get you the link to sign up. It's free. It's 3 times a week. It's lots of cool stuff, all related to inspiring adventures in parenting and marriage to help you have your happier family.

Anything else?

That's good enough for now.

Well, thank you everyone. It's been fun as usual, and cheers to the next 100.

Thank you for tuning in to the Whiny Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, Please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

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This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC.

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