Episode 309: Planning for 2024

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No need to whine and whine.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, happy Winey Blues Wednesday. No need to whine, it's Winey Blues Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Blues Wednesday with the Greene family. Thank you, honey. Are you a happy girl?

Yep.

Tell everyone why you're so happy today. I had a snow day today and I have another snow day tomorrow. Give me 5. Happy snow day. Thank you, honey. Love you. Love you. So if you live near me in Buffalo, New York, you probably have a snow day and you probably have another snow day tomorrow. So let us know where you live and how the weather is. And if you live near me, Tell me how you're spending your snow day. Um, I'll tell you what I want to do.

Okay, I'm just checking to make sure you're live everywhere you're supposed to be.

Do you know what I want to do?

Uh, curl up on the couch, watch our— binge watch our show with a blanket, 3 in the morning when you finish it.

Well, I'm not gonna do that to you, so tell everyone what we're watching.

Um, what are we— I think it's called Fool Me— yes, Fool Me Once.

Okay, so we're watching Fool Me Once on Netflix. Who's watching it?

Yes.

It is so good. We just finished episode 5, and Seth is not a binger. He's not a binger. He wants to watch one episode at a time.

Right? I would— if she let me, I would stretch that. I would make it take weeks and weeks to finish that.

What? How? How would you do that?

I just wouldn't. Maybe I watch an episode a week, like old school real TV. Then you have something to look forward to all week. You binge it all, you're done in 3 days, and then you have no show.

Oh, I have another show. I have shows lined up for you. That's great. So, so I posted on Facebook that we're watching this show, and all of these women were like, I'm watching it, I'm watching it. People were like, I binged that one night. I, I'm—

I just watched 8 hours of TV in a row.

It's—

well, fries your brain.

So here's my thought. It's so good that they leave me hanging, and then I want to know what's next.

That's how they get you.

Okay. So my topic this week is we are in January. You've probably been wondering about goals and resolutions and where is it? Where is the blog topic?

What's going on? How come you didn't do this in December?

Where's the topic on New Year's? New Year's. So this year we're doing planning for— this week we're doing planning for 2024. And on one of my live episodes, I said that I hadn't planned my goals, and Seth wasn't very happy with that and was like, "Well, I was like, you take it too long." He was like, "You better get on it." Well, I realized when I sat down to write this that it came like spewing out of me because it was all in my head and I had to get it onto paper.

Other people have already gone to the gym for the New Year's resolution and quit. Well, I mean, now you're going to tell them your goals.

Okay, so I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear what your goals are for the new year. I would love to hear your reflections on the year before.

Comment.

I started writing this. There is a blog at wineinclusa.com with the details of what I'm about to say because I'm never going to cover the details of what I wrote.

All of it. Can't get to all of it.

So I started out reflecting because reflecting helps me kind of see where I'm landing. And what did you think about my reflections?

You had a crazy year last year.

Was blown away.

But celebrate your wins enough.

I realized that, and I'm going to tell all of you that we need to celebrate more what we accomplished, because man, we should have had like a big toast to putting a pool in. We should— did— I think we did celebrate when Max got his license. We took him out for dinner, I think.

Yes, we did.

So we did celebrate Max getting his license. Um, I got the car that I've been dreaming about for a few years. Like, there were so many things on my list Um, I mean, what's wrong with dolphins? We swam with dolphins. That's my favorite part. I— was that your favorite part of the year?

That's my favorite part.

So let's talk about that because we have our son home for 2 years, 1 and a half, till he heads off to college. So Max is a junior. So my advice to you and I—

okay, I'm ready—

is one of my goals for this year and for next year is to take a family vacation. Because I want to plan a vacation with Max while he's on our schedule. And I mean our schedule by the girls' schedule. Yes, they all have— they're all in the same school district, they all have the same vacations. And as you know, the older they get, all the dates change. College dates are different. Work— when he's working, his work dates will be different. So while we have him home on the same schedule as the girls, my recommendation is that we plan a vacation for this year.

Yeah.

And that we plan a vacation for next year.

I would love to.

And my goal is only one vacation a year. I am not that person who wants to take a vacation every quarter. For multiple reasons. I don't even know that Max likes vacations. We kind of force family fun on him.

He seemed to enjoy himself on our last trip.

Let's ask him. Okay, we will ask him when this is over. Okay, because when I brought up going on a spring vacation, right, he was like, I don't really like to travel.

Well, it doesn't mean he doesn't like— he just might not like going, getting there.

International trip, like actually being there.

Okay, to enjoy the dolphins and navigating us around Disney.

I'm wondering if that's Emma. See, I don't like this. I almost feel like we need to go back to the old way because I like seeing who's commenting.

Well, they need to click the StreamYard link. Oh my gosh, allow us to be able to see who they are.

That would be helpful. Emma, I'm guessing that is you, and if it's not, I apologize to whoever suggested that. So international Travel is a fantastic idea because my kids— she says, um, my kids do not— are not beach people. They do not want to go lay on the beach for 5 days. No, they want to do stuff, and I don't want them to complain that they're bored. So maybe we could get our passports. Um, there's mine, I think is still good. Maybe the kids have expired, so we need new passports. Maybe we take them international internationally and get them excited. Excellent idea. Okay, well, we will plan a vacation. That is our next step. So let's talk about goals for 2024. All right, so you've reflected, you've, you've reflected and you've gone over 2023 and you have seen where you landed. And a great way to go through your reflections is to go through your camera roll. That was a lot of fun.

How did you get through The 5,000, 10,000 pictures I went through.

I went through a year of photos and I was like, holy moly, a whole year to go through them.

We did way too many pictures.

Okay, moving on to 2024.

There's a New Year's resolution: less pictures.

No, no, a New Year's resolution would be to print the pictures.

You don't need to print 10,000 pictures.

Okay, so where I have landed— sorry, so my word of 2023 was grace. If you didn't know. I'm kind of landing on health for 2024, and I'll tell you why. I started out— so goal number 1 is all around health, and the reason I say that is because I have been horrendous at making appointments for myself. I make appointments for the kids. I've even helped Seth with his appointments. I do not make appointments for myself. Maybe nails.

I was gonna say, you're— you got your nail lady on speed dial.

My nail lady tends to see me the most out of everybody. It is how I treat myself. But I'm talking like, you know, not every month, but like make myself a massage appointment, make myself a chiropractor appointment. I picked a new primary doctor finally after years of talking about it. And I made myself a primary care appointment.

Did you have that yet?

No, they don't have openings till May.

Oh, that's why I don't know about it. Okay.

But I made it.

Congratulations.

I made it probably a couple months ago. That's impressive. Kind of impressive that they can't fit me in until May.

They are pretty busy.

So, they are very busy. So, I picked a new doctor. I made that appointment. I went to NET. I already am making so much progress on this goal because my goal around health is to begin with making all the appointments and taking care of myself. So, I went to NET.

Neuro-Emotional Technique, in case you don't know.

If you don't know what it is, a chiropractor up the street from me does it. She's been doing it for years and years and years.

Am I allowed to tell them who it is?

I'm sure.

Dr. Barbara Coyle on Sheridan Drive is phenomenal. This isn't a physical adjustment, it's emotional.

So Seth told me, um, in his wonderful husband advice, he said, before you start making yourself all the appointments, the eye appointments, all the appointments, the health appointments— I've made a lot of appointments.

You have.

So before you start making the appointments, I would like you to start with making an NET appointment. And he's been telling me that for years.

Yes.

And I finally listened to him because it's the year of getting my appointments done. And it was life-changing. I'm not going to get into the specifics, but I will tell you that if you feel like there's an emotional block or that you have something holding you back, which I did, Go see her. Holy moly, is she good. I am sure I will see her again. So Seth, I am making progress on my goals.

I know.

I was very proud of you for going and for the amazing experience you had and that you have seemed different to me in that area ever since that day.

OK, well, we are going to talk about that after this.

OK.

But I also made an eye appointment and a doctor appointment and a nail appointment. Aren't you proud of me?

Yes, I know how hard that nail appointment was for you.

The nail appointment is my favorite.

Yes, right. But more props to you for the eye appointment and the doctor appointment. But I'd say Dr. Barbara wins as the most important appointment, right?

But even Kristen saying, I just got a massage, and I'm like, I always forget to make myself a massage appointment.

Make yourself a room. There's an app on your phone for that.

And there's a really good—

Adrian says, I'm in. Yes, Rebecca, taking care of yourself is crucial. Yes, you need to be taking care of yourself right now, Adrian.

OK, so, so, Adrian, I'm really— I'm working on that. That has been a work in progress, and I have made significant improvements in the last 10 years. I've come a long way. Yes, you have.

Adrian, I'm hoping this is part of your self-care routine.

Oh, Adrian watching us?

Yes.

Oh, OK. All right.

I think you count as self-care.

But let's talk more about health. What else am I going to do? I am going to rejoin the YMCA with my family. Family, and I'm gonna go work out with my family. And if I'm not with my family, I'll go by myself. But I had an epiphany today about this that I want to share with you. Everybody has always told me that I need, um, partners. I need partners in this journey. Yes. And I've always resisted. Like, I'm, I'm a—

I'll do it myself.

I don't, I don't want you—

where does she get it from?

I don't want you to fall over. But I am a loner in a lot of ways, OK? You probably don't know that about me, but what I realized today when Lily and I were working out in the basement is that my daughters can be my workout buddies.

They can.

I have always been told that you need people to be working out with you, and I have always resisted, and it struck me today when Lily was so excited that I was working out with her, and I was like, not only can she hold me accountable, I can get Ella involved, and the 3 of us can get each other to work out regularly.

Yes.

So those are— I'm trying to think, is there more health stuff that I wanted to talk about? Um, there's one more thing that I have really been focusing on that I want to share because all of your mothers will relate. I have told you my, my intensity of plowing through my days and changing that. And in changing that, I am pausing in my days to feed myself a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

That is awesome.

I have not done that in many, many ways. So, I am focusing on that. So, I think, so when you make a goal, so what I learned is you want to make SMART goals, right? Have you heard this before? They are specific, they are measurable, they are achievable, they are realistic, and they are timely. Realistic meaning like, don't tell me you are going to run a marathon tomorrow if you have never run a mile before, run 5 feet before. Now, realistic is Seth and Liz. Lily telling me that they would both like to run 5 miles this year. That is realistic. They are working their way up and by the end of the year, they will hopefully be able to run 5 miles. They are not trying to run 5 miles tomorrow. Right. OK, so we are being realistic and kind to ourselves and when we are making these goals and we find ourselves maybe not doing these goals, you know, maybe I see that I forgot lunch. I don't throw in the towel and say, well, you suck. So forget it. I say, OK, so tomorrow, remember, even if I need to put an alert on my phone, it is 12:30. Stop what you are doing and make yourself lunch. Right?

Right.

OK. Goal number 2. Goal number 2. You got to read goal number 2.

I should read goal number 2 for you? Tour a list of colleges with my son and help them apply and choose a college.

So I have emotionally strong moments and emotionally— I'm not feeling emotionally strong right now as we talk about this, but I was earlier. So this is huge. This is Max's goal, but this is a family goal, and Seth and I are huge in this process. We've already booked through— we're already booked 3 colleges that we're going to, so we're going to start touring colleges and there's a bunch that he wants to see. Um, I would like him to apply— I've told you this— I would like to see him apply to a minimum of 10 schools, and hopefully he will have 10 choices, and we will help him figure out finances and all that jazz and help him pick a school. So we have a huge journey in 2024. I don't know that we're gonna know where he's going at the end of 2024, but we may.

We'll see.

We'll see. So I have, I have a list of stuff we're going to do for this goal. And we're already making progress on both goal number 1 and goal number 2. So goal number 3 is to declutter and organize the basement. So the good news is we did a great job on the playroom.

Yes, the playroom is much better.

The basement, I need to get back on it. So I'm not going to say you haven't done anything this week. I'm going to say start tomorrow. So the goal—

you don't want me to bring up a box tonight?

Um, you, if you want to, you can. I can probably have some energy to go through a box. So the goal is to bring up a box every day. That might be a little unrealistic, but the goal is to bring up one box every day and to figure out donate, trash, keep, right? And I don't want to keep everything.

Right? If it's been in the basement for 11 years.

Well, right. But some of this stuff is really sentimental, which is ridiculous. And some of this stuff might be for our grandchildren.

LOL, I like that goal. Start tomorrow, says Adrian.

So Adrian, we did start this goal. And we were bringing up a box every day.

Somebody stopped. Me.

Um, I don't know when we stopped, but I mean, we— you haven't been bringing out boxes.

Well, last time I asked you to bring a box, you said no. Okay, he said I'm too tired.

At some point in the process, yes, we were doing it.

We were doing this, but as I said, the Bella Kids sale ended and we stopped bringing stuff up. I think that's what it was. I sold a ton of stuff.

Well, we didn't just stop. Okay. I want credit.

Yeah. Oh, you get all the credit.

No, no, no. I want credit for telling you what I did.

Yes.

Not only did I sell stuff at Bella Kids, the big toys, I also gave like 5 bags to Goodwill and like 3 bags to Cara.

Yep.

So that's like 8 bags and a ton of toys.

Yes.

So I want some credit.

You get all the credit. I wasn't taking anything away from you.

What is really sad in this is that there's still a ton.

Yes.

So bit by bit, we're gonna chip away at it. My goal is by the end of 2024 to have shelves built in the basement.

Oh wow, we gotta do— okay, so we ought to be crazy. Total up all the number of boxes in the basement, divide by the number of days we got left, and that's how many you got to do.

I understand that.

I don't want to overwhelm you.

Okay, no, no, no, I totally understand why you're saying what you're saying, but you do realize that the two don't go together. You don't to go through every single box to build shelves.

I understand that. But you understand that we need to make room to put the shelves somewhere.

Yeah, I totally do. But I'm saying we don't have to be done with the process.

No, no, no, no, because it's something— it's gonna go on the shelves. But we have to get rid of enough stuff that there's room to bring shelves down there.

I would say that within the year, we can organize the basement.

I love it. Let's do it.

So I have other goals for the year. So I want you to start with 3. I want you to start with focusing on 3 only because I don't want you to overwhelm yourselves and I don't want to overwhelm me. But I have some that I wanted to take notes on that I also want to work on. They're not necessarily the focus, but I want to read at least 4 books a month, which is totally realistic.

Yes, you can do that any—

yes. And I want a mix of fun fiction. I want fun fiction and I want self-help. So I want to mix them up. And for my house goals, we'll see what Mr. Greene says.

Yeah, I don't know about these.

Okay, so we talked about the basement already, but yes, I would like, depending on the prices, this is all, this is all dependent on price.

Okay.

I would like to paint the outside of the house and put up a fence, a new fence, depending on price.

Yes, because we had looked at fences, and I would do a fence before I would do paint, even though paint is probably cheaper. Because we did paint it once before and you're gonna paint it the same color again because it's been a while.

No, no, no, no. Well, the fence is more important because it got broken when the pool got put in. Yes. So the fence is more important and I agree with that, but Seth and I put one coat on the front of the house ourselves.

Yes.

I would like a professional, let me finish. I would like a professional to do a second coat and I would like a professional to then take the same color and do the whole house because the back is really worn out.

Yeah.

So, okay. And Winey Palooza stuff is still growing. We just started a newsletter. Yes. Gonna keep working on growing that. And we talked about the vacation. So I reflected on 2023, I planned for 2024, and This was easier than I thought to do because I realized I have been thinking about all of this stuff. And I'm going to guess that when I do this next year in 2025, I will go through my camera roll and be shocked by what we've accomplished. What do you think?

I think you are absolutely right. I think you'll have the same experience where you're like, holy cow, I can't believe we crammed all that in. If you had given me the list of everything we did in 2023, I would have said that was only one year. It felt like a lot longer.

I agree.

You pack a lot in, baby.

Well, so I have 2 questions for you.

OK.

Question number 1, which of my goals is your favorite?

Health.

Really?

Well, yes, because the healthier you get, the more time I get to be married to you.

Aww, that was really sweet. OK, goal number, or question number 2, would you like to share one of your goals with us?

Sure. You covered the 5, be able to run 5-mile goal. I will also, also on my list is do workout with weights twice a week and do my— go to the dojo for my martial arts class twice a week. So work out 4 times a week and work up to running 5 miles.

Okay, so those are my fitness goals. I know you probably have stuff all written out.

I do.

Um, and you probably have personal goals and professional goals.

I do.

And you probably categorize everything.

I do. It's all organized, 6 categories.

I love that you have fitness goals.

Yeah. I gotta, you know, get hotter for you.

Well, and I love that. So I think that when I talk about, I think that my goal is just a few times a week of exercise. I did a few, um, like 3 minimum.

Okay.

But I do walk Tanner every day, so we're not going to count today because it was a snowstorm, and you're not going to count that because he sniffs too much. Is that why you're shaking your head?

It's not real cardio. It's, I don't know how many calories it's really burning for you, and I would also suggest that you already do that. It's your baseline of activity. Yeah, no, no, no, it hasn't quite gotten you to where you want to be fitness-wise. You obviously do more than that to get to where you want to be.

Yeah, well, I'm saying for fitness and health, I do walk the dog every day. It's not as fast as you and I might like, but I will add in the gym or the basement a few times.

Yes, yes, you need to do other things to get you where you want Yes.

And I didn't do weights today, but I did do cardio.

Well, that's a start. That's awesome.

Well, and yeah, and I mean, you know, I enjoy working out. It just, you know, Max said something that is super important because Max works out a lot and he said you just have to have a scheduled time. And I think that the issue that I've had this year in 2023 is that I haven't prioritized it because like I will drop off the kids and then start work and I'll start working. And whether it's, you know, whiny-plooza work or work for the house or work for grocery shopping or whatever I'm doing, I do everything else first. But that, right. And I don't like do it first in my day. And I think that if I built it in to start there, it would get done better.

Amen. You are absolutely right.

So I liked his advice to just schedule it because I have not prioritized it. But I do enjoy it. I mean, you feel so good when you're doing it and when you're done.

Yes.

Yes. You agree?

100%.

So I want to hear from you. Like, what are you prioritizing this year? What is the goal you have this year? I love hearing what everybody's working on. And I know Lily's goal is to run 5 miles this year. I would love to hear if she has more. And I would love to hear what Max and Ella's goals are. So we should have a family goal discussion.

I love that. Just like we did the vision boards upstairs, we should update those.

So, so when I was—

soccer up there, it's been a couple years.

When I was researching goals, um, because I tend to research the topic as I'm doing it, they were the internet was talking about family vision boards, which brought me to the fact that we do have one upstairs that is really old. And we probably should do that like every December, you know, just add another thing into December.

There you go.

Right.

Do it in November.

Well, so we'll update it.

There you go.

I think we do need to update that.

Yes.

It's pretty old. And yeah, out of date. Max is gonna put colleges all over it. How did I get here?

You kept feeding him. I told you, if you feed them, they grow and this happens.

So, we are at the dinner table and it comes up. It comes up a lot. And I am like, I will be OK. I will be OK. I was feeling emotionally strong and right now I am not. So, this is a note for my husband.

OK.

When Max goes to college, I am going to have emotionally strong moments and I am going to have emotionally not strong moments.

It is going to be a an even more exacerbated roller coaster.

So get ready for the, for the ride.

There's any preparation for this?

I'm just warning you. I'm just warning you.

All right. Yeah, it is on. It's been recorded. Your warning is recorded. Well, I can't act surprised any here.

Well, I just want you to know what to expect.

I appreciate that.

Okay, well, guess who didn't look and see who's on the podcast?

Where's my Behind you.

I can't find my phone.

Oh, it's over here.

Give me my phone.

All right, we'll see who— hey, Adrian, who's on the podcast?

No, don't bother her, Adrian.

I might know off the top.

I need to know who's on the podcast. So what I want to tell you is that there were winners for the Winey Blues of January challenge, and I did order one prize to go to Yvonne's house. And I do have another prize that I'm about to order.

Bree Davis.

Oh, you're faster than me.

Overwhelmed to Empowered.

Oh, from Overwhelmed to Empowered.

Says, I'm here. I think Coach Claire—

are you on?

Bree Davis says January 19th, which is Friday.

Okay, right. However, we have a wonderful lady on the podcast, I promise.

Always a wonderful— Coach Claire is the 26th.

Okay, well, thank you both. So we have Bria We have Bria this week. We have Coach Claire next week. And we are going to go from overwhelmed to empowered.

Yes.

And I love that. And Rachel Simpson was the second prize winner for the January challenge and I picked something for her that is appropriate for her. And I am going to send that to her. So, winners of the challenge, come find the Whining Pooza Mom group on Facebook. Oh, thank you, Adrian.

It says all the interviews are excellent. Thank you.

So come find the Wine and Fools of Mom group on Facebook. It's free, it's supportive, and I feel like we're a village of women just lifting each other up and helping us through motherhood, marriage, daily challenges. And there's some men in the group too, including my husband.

I am in the group.

So dads, dads, uncles, grandpas are welcome too.

And make sure to look in the link in the group for the link to the free newsletter as well.

Okay, well, I hope that you are staying warm. If you live near me, stay warm, stay safe. I believe Adrienne is in Florida. Am I right?

I think— I'm not sure.

I'm not sure where she is right now. Yes, she's a busy lady. I can't keep track of her. But Adrienne, we have a snowstorm and we have a snow day and we have another one tomorrow. So it's been interesting in Buffalo, New York. So stay warm. Thank you for joining us and have a wonderful week. You got anything else?

Thank you for watching Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

Thanks everyone.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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