Episode 331: Are You Making These Parenting Mistakes

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Gambling problem? Call 1-800-BETS-OFF. No need to whine and cry. The Winey Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Winey Palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene. Welcome to the Winey Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family. Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday, everyone. I hope you're having a wonderful Wednesday.

Wonderful Winey Palooza Wednesday.

My children make fun of me because every time I go live or do a TikTok, I say, "Hello, everyone." Oh, you don't say it like that.

You go, "Hello, everyone." You do it like that.

Why? Why do you do that? So Seth is getting in on making fun of me.

I wasn't. I was just telling you how you do it. I wasn't making fun of you. So are you making these parenting mistakes?

Are you trying to move us along?

No, uh, mistake number 1 is not on the list. It's don't make accidentally, not intentionally, make fun of your spouse.

So it's March, so happy March.

March Madness.

March 1st. The March Madness Winey Palooza Mom Face— wait, the Winey Palooza Mom Facebook group started the March Madness Challenge today. All right, so come find us on Facebook. Yes, the group, the group is going private.

You're gonna have to ask to get in, so you better get in before the velvet rope goes up.

So I believe in like 2 more days, I think they do— they— it's interesting because when I marked it private, it said 3 days.

The countdown.

So today's day 1. Okay, so 2 more days and then it's private and you won't be able to find it. No, can they find it if they search it or no?

No, we'd have to give them the link.

So join the group within the next 2 days or find me, message me and say I need the link and say I need the link. So yeah, we started the challenge and I'm going to give away prizes for comments. So, um, if you're already there, comment away and tell me what's making you feel madness right now. So, the topic this week is, are you making these parenting mistakes?

Yes, I'm making them.

Oh, as we go through them, tell me.

Yes, that's what I thought we were doing.

Tell me if you're making them. Um, I think I'm making all of them, which is probably where it came from. So when I'm talking to you, I'm also talking to me. So tell me if you're making these parenting mistakes and we'll talk about overcoming these parenting mistakes.

Yeah, the solution to these parenting mistakes.

So the goal is not to beat us, beat ourselves up for mistakes. The goal is to be aware of them and then be able to do better.

Yes.

Because once we're aware of them, we can work on doing better the next time. Yes. And I have found that the universe is wonderful. And likes to give me the gift of another try.

Yes.

So let's start with the fact, and I, and I know the answer to this because you don't have this problem, self-care is not selfish.

Ah, that would be mistake number one. When I went through the list, I said, yes, I'm, I'm good at that one.

So stop thinking that self-care is selfish. And when I met Seth, and when we start, and we got married and we started having kids, I noticed that he was doing stuff for himself, and it annoyed me, and I was I was like, you're reading again? And now what are you doing? Now you're— what, give me another example. You're playing the piano?

Guitar.

Um, and I was like, what the hell? I'm doing the dishes and taking care of the kids and he's off playing the guitar. And now, um, 19 years later— yes, um, we've been together for 19 years. Yes, 19 years later, I realized that um, he was right and I was wrong.

We record— we're recording this, so I have proof. Oh, the dog is trying to get on.

The dog is joining us. So we want you to know that Facebook is live here.

Yes.

And TikTok is live here, just so that you both know why I'm looking both ways.

Okay, there's no—

there's our golden retriever Tanner joining us.

You have a dog running out of your head.

Oh my gosh. So we can't pour from an empty cup. We have to take care of ourselves to take care of our family. Yes. I'm a bad mom when I'm not taking care of myself. No, I'm never—

I might be a crankier mother.

I'm not a bad mom, but I get cranky. And I can't pour from an empty cup. And Seth was right. So moving on to number 2. So you're going to take care of yourself. Yeah. Number 2, stop thinking you need to entertain your children all the time. All of these mistakes stem from my experience, training, and my own mistakes. Okay, so, um, I used to think that I had to entertain my kids all the time, and I used to— and I— yeah, and Seth didn't understand. And, um, I don't know why I ever felt that way because my parents weren't like that. It was my own stuff.

You made up some stuff.

I don't know why I thought I had to entertain them all the time, but Lily asked us to go ice skating on a weekend, on one of the weekend days, and I had my own stuff I needed to get done, and I'm like, "No, we're not going ice skating. I got stuff to do. I'll take you ice skating next weekend." And I felt guilty for 2 seconds, and then I realized how far I came.

2 seconds is progress.

Right?

You would have been like, "Okay, I guess I'm not doing my stuff. We gotta go ice skating because Lily wants to do it." So the old me would have done it. Yes.

So proud of you. So it's okay for them to be bored.

Yes.

It's okay for them to have to get creative and entertain themselves. We have been home for hours and I will find Lily off like playing store, making jewelry. Like they find things to do. It's okay. It's good for them.

Yes.

And they need unwinding time. The constant running to stuff isn't good for any of us. Lily and I had the nonstop day today. Not so good for us. We need downtime. So, stop thinking that your children aren't listening to you. This was my most frustrating—

I'm guilty of this one.

This is my most frustrating one as a therapist. If one more parent told me that their kid doesn't listen to them, I will tell you what their expectations were.

Yeah, there's a difference between listen to them as in do what I say and listen to them as in there are— what you said the other There are little ears in the other room listening to everything we're saying right now.

So, the parents that I worked with as a counselor would be like, "My kid never listens to me." Okay, I am sorry that your kid doesn't snap to it like a soldier. I mean, I think—

That's what we need, more military.

I think parents want their kids to be like, "Okay, right now. I'll do it right now." And I understand that expectation, I do. But— That'd be healthy. Your kid is listening to everything that you say. So, I will say something, I will think that Max is not listening to me and then a month later it comes up and I'm like, they're listening to everything we're saying. If we're not reactive, which we're gonna talk about.

Yeah.

If we're not, if we're calm, they're listening and if we're in the other room, they're listening and they're watching.

When we don't want them to listen.

My daughters will yell from the other room, "We can hear you!" and I'm like, I thought I was having a private conversation with Seth. No, not so much. They're listening. I think they're listening more than you want them to listen.

Yes, for sure.

So, stop telling them and start showing them is huge because I was laughing at myself the other day. I'm throwing myself right under the bus. Um, you need to eat healthy food as I grab a cookie. Hello, how is that being a good example? Or you can't yell at me as I'm yelling at them.

You gotta yell that they can't yell.

Right? So, if I want them to not yell, then I need to show them when I'm upset, how do I keep myself calm? What am I doing? And I need to talk it through so that they hear me. So, Lily, I'm feeling really frustrated right now and I'm trying really hard not to raise my voice. So, I'm going to count to 3 and you're gonna give me some space. Space because neither of us want us— want me to yell.

That's really good right there.

Are you guilty of, of this one?

Um, I'm, I'm guilty more of some of the ones that are coming up.

Okay, stop parenting when you are reactive.

I am guilty.

Okay, so this is the best one of all the ones we're going to talk about tonight. So if you take anything away from tonight, take away to stop parenting when you're reactive because they're not going to listen to you when you're reactive. I promise. When I'm— gets worse when I'm being reactive. My family hears wah wah wah wah wah.

Well, the wahs are a lot louder, but you're not listening.

They're listening to my volume. They're not listening to the content.

Volume makes us tune you out.

So it's ineffective. If it's ineffective, we don't want to do it. So you need to find a way to put yourself in timeout, to regroup, to reset, and then go back in. Hi Bagel Queen, I remember you. How are you doing tonight? Um, tell us if any of these parenting mistakes happen in your house, happen in your house. And if you're not a parent, I bet there's still stuff to learn.

I was gonna say, it might— you might have experienced it when you were living with parents.

They might have done it, or you might be doing— you, you all might be doing things right, and I would love to hear what you're doing right. So feel free to comment what you're— what you think you might be doing wrong that you can tweak, or what you think you're doing right.

Yes, I tend to have— I, I've been working a lot on that issue, mostly with Lily.

Okay, well, we both are. Yes, we both are.

But I'm joining you under the bus.

Stop thinking that your children come first. So it goes self-care, marriage, kids, in that order. Because we have to take care of ourselves to be a good wife. I have to be a— take care of myself so that I can be a good wife. And then I have to have a good marriage because that's the foundation to our family, and our kids want us to have a good marriage.

You're fabulous, by the way. So I'm just saying myself, yes, us, kids, yes, which could include things like us doing it first. Okay, like dinner.

Ha!

Oh my God, you make yourself eat last.

No, no, I actually had a thought the other day. The thought that I had, and somebody else does this, um, and I want to eat with everybody, but the thought that I had was I was— the kids were— see, the kids are hangry. I'm usually not hangry because I really try hard to have like a little snack here and there so I don't ever get angry. It makes me eat less at meals. So, my kids are hangry, so I want to feed them. So, I'm setting them all up and getting them all situated and everybody's eating and I'm not even sitting yet and it frustrates Seth because I—

Yesterday, by the time— if I eat when you put the food out, I'll be done before you even take your first bite.

Which is okay. You can just sit with me.

I don't want to— I don't want to do that. I want to eat with you.

So, my thought when I was serving the kids yesterday was, We could serve the kids, get the kids all situated, let the kids eat, and then we could eat.

But you know, that's the flip side. Like I've read novels where the parents eat first and then the children eat.

Yeah. But the children are hangry. The children are—

they will live for 10 more minutes.

Okay. I want you to know that on the way home, Lily was like, I hope dinner's ready. And Max is like, what are you making for dinner? Like, they're like on me for dinner.

Oh, okay.

Stop buying them presents and give them more of your presence. And, um, I wish I knew that like 10 years ago.

We could get rid of some toys. We could have not bought so many.

That if I would have really— if I would have really owned— if I would have really owned this, I think we would have a lot less stuff. Yes. And I really want to go on a mission to have less stuff. I think having less stuff makes us feel so much better.

Less clutter.

We have too much stuff, so I need to go on a mission to clear out the house. And I'm guilty of buying most of this stuff. And my— and like, as I was thinking back, I remember spending time with my parents. Like, I remember skiing and vacations and talking to them. Like, I don't remember what they bought me. I don't remember Hanukkah presents. I don't remember birthday presents. I remember some of the jewelry they bought me.

Some of it you still have.

Some of it I still have. Like, I like— I feel like that's like special stuff. But, um, our kids want our time and our attention. Like when Seth is playing guitar with Ella or playing chess with our kids, or you took Max to play pool. Like, that's the stuff that they want. Um, my girls are like, can we go get our nails done? Now mind you, I'm spending money.

I'm gonna say that one isn't as cheap.

It's not as cheap, but they want to spend time with me. They want to go to Starbucks and get a coffee. I don't really have many free activities that I do with them.

We could find you some.

I guess I need some free activities with my children. Like, I want to like go to the movies with Max. Like, I don't really have stuff. I guess I need maybe some board games. I— every time I ask them, they're not interested. But I guess I'm spending too much money. So stop buying their presents and give them your presence. Stop nagging and talking about problems and issues constantly with your children. There was a psychologist, and I can't give her credit because I don't know her name, I don't remember, um, and she was— she did a TikTok and she was walking around the house and she was doing this funny rendition of a mom and she was like Pick that up, put that away, clean that up, do your homework, get ready, we're going to the dentist. And she was like doing this whole rendition and she was like, aren't we annoying? And I was like, oh my God, we're so annoying. Like, I wouldn't want to talk to me either. So we don't want our kids to want to avoid us. We want them to want to talk to us. So we got to talk about like regular things.

Yes.

And not be nagging them all the time or asking them to do something. I don't think that you have this problem at all. Um, stop feeling guilty. You don't— you helped me with this problem. Okay, so Seth does not have this problem. Seth is the inspiration behind this one.

Thank you.

So Seth was like, okay, we were talking about women and we were talking and I was having a heart-to-heart with him about my frustration with friends who were feeling guilty about various issues and I wanted his perspective. And I was like, they're at work, they're guilty. They're home, they're guilty. They're not making money, they're guilty. Like, I'm so tired of hearing women feeling guilty. I don't feel guilty most of the time. So why are women feeling guilty? They're feeling guilty because they're at work and they feel like they should be home with their kids. They're home, they feel like they should be at work or they should be working on work. They decided to be a stay-at-home mom. They had a conversation with their— or stay-at-home dad. They had a conversation with their spouse. They came to the, the conclusion that they were going to stay home, and now they're feeling guilty about not making money. It's like, can we find reasons to be happy with our decisions?

Otherwise you find reasons to feel guilty about all your decisions.

So why, in asking Seth about this, do you remember what your advice was?

Be where your feet are.

Yeah, so I said, how come you don't feel guilty when you're at work? He's like, when I'm at work, I'm focused on work. I'm not focused on my family. And when I'm home, I'm focused on my family. And he's like, I— you just need to be— he's like, you need to be where you are and you need to put energy where you are. And I was like, wow, that was like— I mean, mic drop, Seth.

Thank you.

That was really good. So you're the inspiration.

Awesome. Okay. Spanish.

Stop doing everything for your children. I'm gonna hide now. If we do everything for them, then they're not learning anything. So Max is like, get out of the kitchen, I want to cook. So I walk away and let him cook.

Twice while you were out tonight, I did say, while I was watching the movie with Ella, I did say, Max, do I smell something burning? So, and what, only once did I get up and go over there and actually check.

Well, so, you know, I haven't taught them how to do laundry because the washing machine is so expensive.

She's a little protective of her baby, the washing machine.

Um, I haven't taught them to do certain things.

You taught me to do laundry. I had to figure it out on my own.

Dude, I did teach you.

Well, you put the thing in the thing and you push the button.

Okay.

Was that, that was the lesson.

I'm happy to show you how to do the laundry.

All the other bells and whistles.

Because we have a new washing machine that—

new, a few years new, right?

But I've been the one doing all the laundry for the last few years.

Yes, you're precious.

Well, because it was so expensive. So it's not like I want— it's not like I want the children messing with my washing machine.

Maybe you could show them they could load it and then you push the buttons.

I mean, sure.

I mean, look at you, you're so hesitant.

You're like, I don't want to part with my baby. No, you know what? But here, so here's the thing. I don't think we should do everything. I love to take care of my family, but I don't think that— I don't think we should do everything for our kids. And I don't think we have it in us to do everything for our kids. Like I have realized that I exhaust myself because I'm not asking for enough help from my family.

And then you get frustrated and say, you're not helping me, but you didn't ask for help. You didn't tell us how to help.

Well, you help, you know how to help.

I was, Talking about the kids.

Yeah, you help, but the kids need to do more. But the kids will— like, Max has started cooking a lot. And, um, yeah, I mean, we can't— we need to teach them life skills, and they can't learn life skills if we're doing everything.

Very true. He's not gonna go off to college and the day before you go, oh crap, I have to teach you how to do laundry and cook and clean and do all this stuff in one day.

No, I'll teach them. So don't take your children's behavior personally. I am so So I learned this one. Um, so like Lily will come home from school in the worst mood. And so now my new thing that I think in my head is she sounds like she's hungry, she sounds like she's tired, and I wonder if something happened at school. And one day in particular, I actually called, texted Seth in tears, and I was like, I just had like nothing left and I never text you this, right? And I was like, when are you coming home? Can you come home?

Yes, you said you need to come home now and deal with the little— I can't take it.

I know, Kelly, every week at 9 PM I say to Seth, I feel exhausted every week at 9 PM. Maybe we need to change the time.

Yes, maybe we need to move it up an hour.

I don't know if people— if you watch this, tell us if you would like— later would be hard, but I want a poll. Do you want this later? Do you want this earlier? Or do you like the time? Because by 9 o'clock I'm tired. I wasn't home at 8 o'clock.

Right, tonight you couldn't have done it at 8.

Most Wednesdays I could do it. Yes, most Wednesdays you are home. So anyways, Lily had me in tears. And it turns out someone was mean to her at school and she took it out on me. It's like never about us, it's usually something going on with them. Like, go through the thing in your head: are they hungry? Are they tired?

What happened when they were babies? Are they gassy? Do they need to be burped? Have they been fed? Have they had a nap?

Okay, you're gonna laugh at the next one. Um, don't just punish them. Like, there needs to be like a lesson. Don't just like throw a punishment out there. So, like, we're gonna use the phone as an example.

I'm guilty of this one.

Okay, keep going. Um, so I'm not good at punishments. So, so my big thing— and I'm throwing myself under the bus, but I do think this is effective— my big thing is I feel like if you— and every kid is different, I'm talking about my kids— if I work on my relationship and my connection and my bond with my kids, then they want to behave and they want to please and they want to do things. Like, I don't want them to do things to avoid a punishment. I want them to just do things.

So I think this is because— so, you know, there's two types of people. There's away-from-pain people and towards-pleasure people, and you are a towards person. And I think this is parenting methodology coming from a towards person assuming her kids are towards people. If you were an avoid pain person and thought your kids were avoid pain people, then it would be all about do it to avoid the threat of punishment, in my amateur, non-expert psychological opinion.

What do you mean I'm a towards person?

You are motivated by moving towards pleasure as opposed to away from pain. You will do more to gain love and connection and pleasure than you will to avoid pain.

Okay, that is a really good way to explain myself to myself.

You did not know this about yourself?

No, I was like, I don't know, I don't like giving them punishment, It's like, I don't like that. I don't think that's a good way to parent. I mean, personally, I don't want my kid to do something because they think I'm gonna punish them. That's not what I want them to learn in life.

Okay, am I allowed to throw you under the bus a little bit more and ask a question?

Yeah.

How does that play into, say, trying to get your daughter out the door to go somewhere, say, a couple hours ago? Well, so like, I did not feel that she magically got her socks or whatever it was.

Yeah, she did. No, she did. She got moving because she knew I was stressed.

You were yelling, she was yelling.

I was like, let's, like, let's go now. And she saw that I was stressed and she moved her butt. I didn't threaten any consequences.

You did not, but you were like, okay.

But, but she saw the stress.

Heard it, yes.

And was like, no, she came to the stairs and looked at me.

Oh, I missed that part.

And I was like, I, like, I have to go, like The Girl Scout leader cannot be late. I need to be early and collect the girls. Anyways, yes, so I thought you were gonna say, how does this play out in real life?

No, that's real life. That was her— that was my question, was her first reaction was not listening to you, her second reaction was listening.

Yeah, yeah. So the cell phone, go back to the cell phone. Okay, okay, so cell phone, using it as a non-lesson and a cell phone using it as a lesson. So, like, some parent gets upset with their kid and they're like, "You lost your cell phone. Give me your cell phone. Like, I'm pissed. Give me your cell phone." Doesn't teach them anything. Okay? Versus you told them they had 2 hours on their cell phone, which might sound like a lot, but it's not. And you see them and it's 2 hours later, they still haven't done their homework. They still haven't taken a shower, like whatever you expected them to do wasn't done. So then you say to them, okay, I'm taking your cell phone for 2 hours because you need to do your homework, you need to shower, you're not managing your time well. If you show me tomorrow that you can manage your time better, then I won't take your phone away. So then you're teaching them with— got it—

teachable moment.

Well, yeah, versus just taking the phone and giving no explanation for what's going on.

Okay, so that wouldn't have been— I wouldn't, and I'm guilty of this one, but I wouldn't just grab the phone and say, "You lost—" take your phone and not say anything and storm out of the room. Like, I would have said, "You lost your phone because you're not doing what you're supposed to." There, it would not have been a beautiful teachable moment. It just would have been— so basically, you're not doing— I wouldn't be mute.

Right, but it's not connected. It's not connected. You're just using something. Correct. So, like, you want to connect it. Like, you took the phone away because they're not managing their time.

Ah, because the phone was a distraction.

Yeah, so you're teaching them that they can keep their phone if they manage their time with their phone. Aha! Okay, that makes perfect sense. So, you want them— so then they understand the goal. The goal is to do your homework and shower and get your list done and not have your phone taken away. But if you haven't done what you're supposed to do, then you're showing your parents that you can't manage your time.

This was like, yes, in the old days when I got home from school and my parents said, "You have to do your homework before you can go outside and play. You have to do your homework before you can watch any TV." Yeah, yeah. Got it. That makes more sense.

Yeah. Thank you for explaining that to me.

I am guilty of that.

There's some of these mistakes that you're more guilty of and there's some of these mistakes that I'm more guilty of. Yes, I am.

In case you haven't noticed, folks, I am more guilty of, let's say, maybe the negative ones, and you are more guilty of the positive ones of don't do everything for your kids, don't be too nice to your kids. And I'm the one taking shit away and not explaining it. Okay, are you reading it or am I? I'll read it. Uh, Kelly says, I attended the social media professional development and the presenter shared that when taking away the phone, it should be a 3-day minimum. Oh my God, my kids' heads would explode if they didn't have their phones for 3 days. That's me, that's my anecdotal comment. This way it impacts them and creates an overall change in behavior. Wow, alright, let's just take it away for 3 days for no reason and take them out.

I do not agree with that and I'll tell you why I don't agree with that. So, the reason why I don't agree with that is because one of the issues that I saw is that parents give these big punishments and then they can't enforce them because they're too big. I think it's more impactful personally to do something smaller that you know you're gonna enforce. I think if, I think, I think 3 days is a lot personally, but their phones are how we track them. But we also know our own children. So like when we were at a PTA meeting and I, and the parents were like, you need to let our kids go to the bathroom. Like what's going on? Well, then one of the moms was like, no, don't let my son go to the bathroom. He's going to play these teachers like a fiddle. So like you've got one kid who is constantly going to go to the bathroom. You got another kid who has to go and isn't allowed. So it's like, they're all so different. I think we can't just say this works for every kid. Right. Right. So I think we do have to figure out, like my kid, if my kid lost their cell phone for 2 hours, they would be like, that was a long 2 hours. Okay, so, so Margaret says that's how we are, but I don't remember what we were talking about.

To do your homework before you go.

Yes, yes, I— that's what I did. That's what, that's what our kids do. Our kids do that most of the time.

Yeah, not all the time. It depends on the child.

Okay, um, this one I'm guilty of. Stop parenting alone. Oh my God, where did we get this idea that we have to do all of it? I mean My friend went away with her husband. Good for her. We need to do that.

You asked what I wanted for my birthday.

There you go. Oh, we could plan like an actual trip. You're more easygoing. Yes, yes, yes, yes, Mrs. Baldick. We like, we like easygoing. Um, so she's like, I need you to take my daughter home on Thursday and Friday from dance because I'm going away. Like, we have to use our village and I can't be in 3 places, but I I still think that people expect themselves to do everything. I don't really understand why we think that.

Well, I like that you have taught me to— you— that you use your supports, and you've shown me by example. Like today, you said, oh, Max had a practice that we didn't know was coming as to what time it is, and the girls are getting out at the same time. Can you either go get him, or can he walk to your office, and then you bring him home? And if I wrap my meeting 10 minutes early, we didn't have much else to talk about, and drove over and got him.

So you're saying that you're learning that I'm asking people for help? Yes, it has made—

it has inspired me to ask for more help myself. Oh, I'm so glad.

Yes, I'm glad it's helping. I hope that you ask for help at work.

That's what I was talking about. Okay, was not going, oh, take me longer to explain, then just do it myself. I'm like, then nobody learns anything.

Um, Karen, I just want to tell you that your event tonight for Girl Scouts was wonderful. The planning and organization was wonderful. And your troops did a great job. So I will text you that in case you didn't hear me. But good job. So the next one, Seth and I had a big lesson in this. Parenting is not about you. Do you know that? Do you know that parenting is about— I'm still learning this one. So what is— so Seth and I— oh, you're welcome. I meant it. It was a great— you did a great job. Um, so Seth had a big lesson in this, even bigger than mine, because, you know, he was very invested in our son's soccer career. Yes. And 12 years of soccer, we paid a ton of money for training. He's a— he was a goalie. Goalie training, um, pre-Olympic training, right? Yeah. Um, a ton of, um, tournaments. I'm losing the word. Like, we just like I mean, we put a ton of soccer on our schedule for this year that we thought we were gonna have to travel a lot. And he was like, I don't want to do soccer. And Seth and I were like, what do you mean? Like, we have colleges contacting us about you. Like, what do you mean you don't want to play soccer? I mean, I was stunned. Seth was more stunned. Yes. And you know, and I said to Seth, like, this is not about you. Like, you love soccer, you love him playing soccer. He's asking to stop. So it's like, what, what is a— what is best for your kid? Not what is best for you, right? That wasn't an easy lesson. That was not. And we already talked about the fact that all our kids need something different. Like, one kid needs 3 days of no cell phone, and one kid needs— one kid, you take it away from an hour and they're twitching and they're like, I'll never do it again. So it's interesting to see. I would just evaluate like what works with your kid. We had Max, we figured out Max, then we had Ella and she was totally different from Ella. And then somehow we had Lily and Lily is like so completely different than both of them. Like I can't believe—

somehow we had Lily. I think you know how we had Lily.

No, somehow Lily is completely different than both of them. So they're all like so different and we have to parent them so differently. Yes. Don't you think? Very much so. And so when I would go into a home and the parents— hi Megan, I hope you're having a good day too. Um, Lily, are you on here? Lily should be asleep. We need to go put Lily to bed. But, um, what was I saying? Help me. Kids being different. Yes, parenting them different. Just evaluate what works with your kid. I mean, you can try things and you can see, did that work? Did that work for a long time? Did that work for a short time? And, and then I would find that I would figure my kid out and then my kid would change and I would have to learn how to parent them differently. So it's like, just because it works today doesn't mean it's going to work tomorrow. So that's frustrating. Lily, your teacher says hello. She's on TikTok, Mrs. Paul's. She's on this phone. So we're gonna go put our kids to bed. Yes, but I have to tell you that Friday is Ella's birthday, and Ella and I did a special podcast episode, so that's gonna be aired on Friday, and, um, you will hear a lot from Miss Ella, who is turning 14. And the March Madness Challenge is going on at the Whiny Pluza Mom Facebook group. And the second book, Whiny Pluza Gets Less Whiny, is on Amazon. And tell me what else I'm forgetting, Seth.

The app is in the App Store, both Apple and Google.

Oh, Megan says hi, Mrs. Paulzak. She just turned the phone towards each other. We got two, we got two 2 different apps going. Okay, have a wonderful night.

Thank you for joining us, and thank you for joining, watching Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

We're missing our singer. I don't know where she went. Have a good week. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

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