Episode 373: Easing Back Into School

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Call 1-800-BETS-OFF. No need to whine and whine. Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza Podcast with Rebecca Greene. Welcome to the Whiny Palooza Podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family. Hello everyone, happy Winey Plousa Wednesday!

Hello, happy Winey Plousa Wednesday!

Making sure you can see Seth and me.

Here I am.

Thanks honey for joining us tonight.

Always.

So today's a very special day.

Yes, it is. Did you know before I told you?

No! How did you figure that out?

So the short version of the story is I was doing financial aid forms for Max, and it asked for your date of employment at our company. And I said, I know it was like however many years ago. I didn't remember the exact day. So I'm like, I have to go back in time. And I logged in as an admin on your website. And did reverse order to see the date your first blog post went live, and it happened to be today, 11 years ago. Happy anniversary.

That's crazy.

That I happened to do financial aid stuff today and got to the section about employment and happened to go look for you, and it happened to be today.

So, Seth.

Happy 11 years.

Yeah, so Winey Palooza started 11 years ago.

Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

That's pretty awesome. So we've gone from a blog to a vlog, which we're doing right now, to a podcast, to a group, to a summit, to a newsletter.

Yes, you've— we've expanded your empire.

And I have a bunch of other ideas.

Oh, I can't wait to hear about.

So, um, I might have one or two. So here's the thing that every single mother is gonna relate to. I have a lot of work ideas I am— you see, my dog is in my face. So I have a lot of work ideas, but I have— I also have 3 kids, a house, a husband, my volunteer work. Like, I feel busy. So it's like, how much busier do I want to be? So I do have other ideas, and there is more coming.

I'm excited.

So Seth and I will talk more about that.

Okay.

Okay. So I did, I did get a topic request for this week. So the topic request this week is transitioning back into school. And what I called my blog topic for the week is easing back into school, which we are going to ease back in. Hopefully we're not going to slam back in.

We're going to ease our jumping off the deep end and all in one day.

Well, it is really kind of like diving in. It should be diving back into school. That's right.

You can't go like, I'm going today for 1 hour, tomorrow for 2 hours, then 4 hours. Oh, that's a good— then maybe I'll do a full day.

Oh, I love that idea.

Well, considering I'm not a school superintendent, I don't know that I have the authority for that.

That was a good idea, honey.

That to me is easing your way back.

So my—

dip your toe in the water.

My epiphany today about this topic So Seth, sometimes Seth reads my blogs and he's like, oh my God, last week he was like, this is so good, I'm gonna use this with my team at work. What was the topic? Do you remember?

Inside Out 2?

No, it was not.

Oh, that was a podcast.

What was the topic last week? Go look for me.

I'm gonna go look for you.

So Seth last week, I think it was last week, was like, oh my God, this is so good. And the This week he was like, uh, and I'm gonna respond to this comment. So there's a reason I brought this up.

Last week, we know you did. Ella's in, you were, the one I think you're talking about is not Ella's internship. I think you're talking about you're enough today just as you are.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah. You loved that one.

I did.

So Shakespeare in the park was a topic request. Easing back into school was a topic request. Before that was you are enough just as you are right now. And Seth loved that one.

Yes.

So, sometimes he loves them. Today he was like, "I'm gonna respond, so don't jump." He goes, "Isn't this all common sense?" when he read this. Okay, so first of all, Seth told me there's no such thing as common sense, so I don't know why he's—

I was quoting you back to you, but that is often my defense when you tell me I should have known something.

So fun when you quote me back to me.

You love it.

So, my epiphany today as I was driving around all freaking day was, no, it's common sense to Seth because we've been doing this for 14 years.

I've been watching you.

So for 14 years we've been going back to school. Yes, and you get better every year. I get better every year.

Yeah, reps.

I am a pro easing back into school. This is the first year that I'm actually excited and ready for it. I'm usually sad and emotional and hate this time of year. Yeah. There's no time for any feelings because—

Oh, we always have time for your feelings.

There's no time.

There's always a lot of feelings.

Cheerleading and football have taken over the last 2 weeks of the summer and holy schedule. And I'm going to start with saying, okay, so Seth and I are pros at easing back into school. That is why he says that this is common sense. I'm going to tell you—

Which I learned all of it from her, right? None of it was me.

But this is not common sense.

There's one line on there that was me.

What's the one line?

I'll tell you when you get to it. There's one thing that I have said over the years.

Okay, so—

I'm not saying it wasn't also your idea.

It's one thing that I've said, "Gee, shouldn't we be doing this?" Okay, so every single person, therapist, doctor, anyone you talk to about easing back into school is going to tell you to gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times.

That was the thing I said.

Okay.

That was the thing. Shouldn't they be going to bed early to get— and getting up earlier to get ready instead of doing it all the night before and then being tired and cranky So this is what I'm gonna tell you all. Little bits.

This is my recommendation that I don't follow.

Thank you.

So even though I think that you should gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times, I do not do that. And Lily and I have been thrust into having to get up early this week.

That's why I like that you haven't had a choice.

So I haven't had a choice for like 2 weeks because she has to get up and moving for cheerleading. So really we're back into the groove of things. I'm definitely going to bed too late. Getting up too early. I'm not on a good schedule. I'm not getting enough sleep, but I will tell you that I think your kids will do better if you start to shift their bedtime.

Yeah.

And what it says in the research that I did was 15 minutes every day.

That's really interesting. I was gonna say half an hour, so I wasn't far off.

So 15 minutes back up bedtime, 15 minutes earlier wake up. So like if your kids are like my kids, And Max and Lily will sleep till 11 o'clock if I let them. Start waking them up a little bit earlier, like make sure they're up by like 9 o'clock instead of 11 o'clock. I know I just did a 2-hour jump, but like we don't want our kids sleeping in. However, Max, my son, has so much football. He literally just walked in the door from football, and I will just let him sleep. Because I think his body needs to recover and I am not bothering him about getting up.

It's also the first day of school. He'll just get up when he's gotta get up and just be back in that routine.

Well, he's easy. If your kid is easy, that is one story. If your kid is difficult, you gotta start working on it so that they don't give you a hard time.

Yes. And we're saying this given that fact that we're in New York and our kids haven't gone back to school yet. They go back to school next week. Some of you watching, your kids went back to school a month ago. And you could have watched this then.

I do realize I probably need to do this in early August instead of late August, but what I want to say to you is if your kids went back to school, I would love to hear from you how it's going. Yeah, I would love to hear if you eased your kids back into it with stuff that you did before school started. Let us know, and I will share this with my friend who requested this topic. So, we're talking about gradually shifting bedtimes and we're gonna talk about reestablishing routines. And if your kid is 17 and gonna be a senior, he knows the morning routine. Him and I are not going over what the morning routine looks like. What him and I did go over is my expectations about food because Max will go all day at school without eating and that doesn't work for me. So, we did have a food conversation. But if your kid is going into kindergarten, first grade, like, you gotta start talking to them about what does the morning look like because they might not remember. And what I learned in, in my studies is that kids love, like, images that you can post on the wall of this is what your routine looks like. You're gonna brush your teeth, you're going to get dressed, like make pictures. And fascinating, kids love— little kids love to follow a picture schedule.

I want to make a picture schedule.

I think I might have done that for our children. I—

it was— I'm trying to think of how I can make that work for me. Here's a dollar sign, here's a handshake, here's a person, here's a microphone, here's a Zoom call.

Okay, so you're talking about something that is different but is useful and effective. You could put images in your office of like goals that you want to manifest so that you can see it, like a vision board, right?

I have one of those in my journal, um, but I was talking about doing a daily calendar with graphics.

Well, if that works for you, honey.

I don't know, it's just— I— you said it and I was like, ooh, I wonder if that would be fun.

And what is not on here, but what creative suggestion I did read about while I was researching this is that it's a really good time of year to sit down with your kids and do a school vision board and what are their goals for the year for the school.

We gotta update our goals on the wall.

We have a vision, an old outdated vision board in our room.

A family vision board.

It's a family vision board and we need to update it. So, we really should do that.

Yes.

Okay, we'll work on that. So, you're gonna reestablish routines. You might be totally out of the routine. Your kids might not remember what you expect of them. They might not even know where to start. Like, for example, your alarm's gonna get off, you're not gonna hit snooze 10 times, you're gonna get up and get dressed, and I expect you downstairs by 8 o'clock to have breakfast. Like, what are your expectations? Like, I love that my friend, my very smart friend, says to her daughter, when you're all ready for school, that's when you can have your phone.

Oh, I like that. So yeah, because if you let her— and I know who we're talking about— she'll be on the phone the entire time she's getting ready, and it will take 3 times as long because she'll be talking the entire time she's doing makeup and putting on clothes.

So I'm not going to tell you that it's not working because I find that her friends get her up and moving. If I'm honest with you, I, if I thought it wasn't working, I would've taken away her phone. Right.

We just haven't tried it yet at 7-something in the morning.

So I will tell you that she—

Oh, you got a big thumbs down for that one. What the heck is that?

Which part is that? Well, because they think the phone should be taken away in the morning. So for me, I see that she's talking to her friend while she's getting ready and it works for her.

At the moment we haven't tested it in school. We'll tell you in a week how that goes.

She, um, comes downstairs.

It might be different when there's, you gotta get going.

She eats breakfast with her friends and she's ready on time. So at this point I don't have a problem and I don't need to take the phone away. But if your kid is giving you a problem, then they really should not. And I will also say, I'm sure it takes longer because she's on the phone, you know. Um, I also, know that her friend's mother is already at work. So I also know that she's kind of like keeping her friend company. Yes, yes.

Okay, appealing to your social worker heart.

So yes, so designate a homework space for your kid. Um, where do you have one? Do they know where to do their homework? I will tell you that our kids have the same spots that they do their homework all the time, right?

Yeah.

And they all have places in their bedrooms to do it, but— but a couple of them like to do it at the dining room table, and I just leave them alone and let them be quiet and just make sure they have a space, a surface to do it on, and that, that, that you're clear about what you expect of them, that you expect them— like, do you expect them to do their homework right after school? School? When do you expect the homework to be done? Because I know that Seth and I both agree that when we were in school, we wanted to get it done right away.

Well, that was the— yeah, I remember growing up, my parents were, you come home, you do your homework before you go out and play, before you get on the computer.

Yeah, like, get it over with first. Get it over with. I mean, that's, that's what I think they should do. Get it over with. I will say Ella has walked in the door and said to me, I have so much homework and like, I'm not ready. I need to regroup and then I'll do my homework.

But that awareness that she's got of needing 20, 30 minutes or whatever to refresh herself is awesome that she knows that as opposed to trying to do it in a tired, unresourceful state and not doing as good a job.

Yeah, totally. Well, and we also know that she's responsible and she's going to get it done.

Sure.

So I don't give her a hard time. Right. I think that where we have to worry as parents is if things aren't going well.

Right.

If things are going well, then what you're doing is working. If things aren't going well, it's time to evaluate and do something different. So, get organized together. We've been doing this a lot. And what's nice, it's very different if your kids are little. If your kids are little, I still think you should get them involved. What backpack do they want? What lunchbox do they want? Go school supply shopping with them, have them help you organize all—

Somebody's picking out first day outfits right now.

Yes, we have our daughter picking out her back to school outfit right before we came on here.

It's very important apparently.

It's extremely important, but my kids are older, so I had to leave the house and I gave my youngest her 2 boxes of school supplies and her list of school supplies, and I said, okay, time, time to get organized. Here's your school supplies, I'm leaving. I'll be back if you need help. And by the time I got back, she was done. She did it all. So that's helpful. Let them help. And, and it makes them feel excited about school. It makes them feel, yeah, more independent, more excited. They loved going online and picking out clothes and putting it in my cart for me to buy for them.

Ah, those are all the recent churches.

Okay, so we got clothes, we got backpacks, we got lunch boxes. We did not get shoes, but all of this stuff, I gotta wait. I don't know if it's coming. We, we haven't gotten that far, but you know, I see kids getting their hair cut and all that jazz.

So I believe you might have taken someone to the nail salon.

Today was Ella got her back-to-school nails, Max got his back-to-school haircut. Doesn't Max look handsome? Did you look at him?

Well, he came in the door from football, so he was kind of sweaty, so I'm waiting to see what he looks like after cleaning up.

Oh, I didn't heat up his food. I hope he's heating it up. So, talk about feelings. Now, I'm a social worker, so of course I'm gonna say to talk about feelings. I actually got to talk to Max today because my friend gave him an assignment to write a few sentences about going back to school as a senior. So, Max and I worked on that together, and I learned about how excited he is to for his senior year. It's totally unreal that it's his senior year, but talk to them. How are they feeling? Do they have mixed feelings? Are they excited? What are they nervous about? What do they need to talk through? It helps them ease their anxiety to talk about it. So, you know, I know that my kids sending lots of text messages to find out who's in their classes helps ease their anxiety, but like, help them. Talk to them about what, like, what is stressful and could you be helpful about it? I know that Ella is like, "Who is in my lunch period?" We're still looking for people, so we'll work on that. Plan fun school year traditions, back-to-school traditions. I love that my friend makes a pencil cake every year on the first day.

This is a cake in the shape of a pencil?

Yes.

Okay, I was just making sure that that's what it was.

Oh, but that's a— you can make a pencil cake out of pencils.

Wouldn't taste very good, but yes.

So—

you get graphite or lead poisoning. Yeah, a cake in the shape of a pencil.

So she makes a pencil cake every first day of school.

I was gonna say, Max needs one in the shape of a calculator or computer more than a pencil.

That's not a bad idea. I could make him a computer cake. My other friend makes homemade cookies every first day of school. I think that back-to-school should be a good dinner personally, but do a fun tradition or have your kids suggest one. You know, we have to stay positive and supportive. We have to remember that we set the tone for how our kids are feeling, and if we're stressed out, if we're sad, if we're upset that summer's ending, they're gonna take our lead. If we're excited for them and the school year and what's to come, we can make that contagious.

You've done a much better job of that this year.

Well, authentically, I'm actually excited this year, but this—

that helps.

This is the first year, and quite honestly, I'm gonna be sad, but I'm gonna be excited. I'm gonna have so many feelings next year because You know, every mom has a hard time. I mean, we'll have lots of topics about college, but every mom has mixed emotions about sending her kid to college. But I couldn't be more excited because I know what's to come, and I think it's pretty exciting what's to come. And the next chapter is very exciting. So I'm not rushing it. I'm going to savor senior year. Yes, but There's another title, Savor Senior Year.

Yes. Okay, we'll use that at some point.

Let's remember that. So, so set the tone and offer encouragement and support and encourage them to join things because, you know, my kids throw me for a loop and every year they want to join new things and I'm like, have at it, join whatever you want. I was a little too overzealous this year. And another topic might be overcommitting. And I think we're overcommitted for the fall. I think that if you want to see me this year, you're gonna have to come to a football game. Okay, so establish a family calendar, which to Seth is common sense, but you know, it's not common sense to everybody because my friend taught me this and she said, why aren't you using a family calendar? And Seth is gonna say, I'm sure I told you that. And I said to her, what is a family calendar?

Like shared calendar on your phone that everybody is on the same calendar.

But when she shared this with me, I didn't know what that was.

Right. Well, if you weren't otherwise using that tech feature, you wouldn't know.

So I need you to invite Lily to our family calendar.

I have invited Lily time after time after time. She's never accepted. She keeps rejecting my invitation.

She doesn't know how to accept it.

Why don't I invite her and then get her phone and accept for her?

Thank you very much. So we do have 4 of us on it. I think Max is on it.

Yes. Lily will be 5.

So Ella, Ella refers to it all the time.

Yes.

And I think Max refers to it sometimes, but Ella's really good about it and it's nice to have everything in one place. And I don't know if my neighbor still does this, but I remember she had her whole wall in a dry erase paint, paint. And she did a huge calendar every month, and visually her family saw what everybody was doing, color-coded, which is very impressive. Yeah, I mean, well, we know she's impressive. She's in the impressing business, if you ask me.

I think that's literally her job.

Yes, it's very true. So the next one encompasses so much of my life and so much of my brain space. And that is plan nutritious meals and snacks. And Seth has— Seth and I are going to have a conversation about this. Yes, because I need to tell Seth about my day and planning.

Oh, okay. Yes, I gotta get something wrong.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Just eat, I swear.

No, you're easy. But I will tell you that the mental load of food is huge for me for so many reasons. And God, I wish you were taking notes on all these topics that I'm saying. I'm gonna have to listen to this.

I'm gonna say we can't have this transcribed.

I'm gonna have to take notes because I had so many topic ideas during this. And topic idea number like 4 is all around like meal planning as a mother. And it is so important to me. Now some of you don't prioritize this, and I know this because I know friends who just go through the drive-through constantly. Constantly, and I 150% refuse to do that. Does it make our life easier? Yes. Do I think you should never go through a drive-through? No, I would never say that. Please feel free to go through the drive-through. For me personally, I have prioritized this for my family, for myself, just based on my weight journey, based on how I want my, myself and my family to be healthy. Food takes up so much time and energy in my life, and who needs to eat when, and what am I planning for each person to eat when? That's huge.

It's a lot.

It is.

People, yes, 4, 3 meals a day at least, plus snacks.

Well, I mean, you count too in a lot of ways.

I count for dinner. You're not making me breakfast or lunch.

No, but I'm buying it. Sure. I— yes, I have not made you— I used to make you lunch, but you have been making your lunch.

We've been a little busy.

I do make his lunch sometimes, and I'm sure now that I'm gonna be in the kitchen making lunches—

part of the reason why you didn't do it over the summer was because I was up earlier than you before cheer started. I was up earlier than you and out the door, and you were still sleeping, so I made it myself. You were making it during last school year when you were up at 6:30, and you'd be like, I'm already up, I can make it anyway.

Well, if I'm making 3 lunches, I really just tack in another one. And mothers, please listen to me when I say this. One of my biggest mistakes was that I was making 4 and I had no plan for myself. And what that means is I wasn't even eating lunch sometimes. And that really backfired for me. In a lot of ways.

Yeah.

So to be healthy, we actually have to eat, and we have to actually eat enough.

Yes.

So we want our kids to reconnect with school friends, and I will tell you that I think I really made an effort for my daughters in particular to see school friends this summer, and I think that that helps them ease back into school.

Yes.

So if your kids have not seen school friends, now is the perfect opportunity to make some friends, to make some plans, especially if you live near me, cuz they haven't started school yet. And when I was on the elementary school PTA, we discussed the back to school, you had mixers for the kids, the free back to school playground dates that we planned. So that the kids could all see each other. So that helped. So if you're part of the school PTA, plan playground dates for each grade, and that's super helpful before school. And finally, communication with school staff is humongous to ease back into school and have a successful school year. And this is particularly in regards to to things that you need addressed in school. So like, I don't think there's anything I'm warning teachers about, is there? For our kids, I don't think so. I do make an effort to put faces to names with all of their teachers and to make sure like I know how to email them if I need to email about anything. But communication is huge. So if you have concerns or worries or you know, you're stressed about them following your kids, you know, 504 plan, or, you know, your kid has ADHD and you have some worries, whatever the case may be. Um, the nurse was there doing medication drop-off, so all those parents could talk to the nurse tonight at, um, what is it, orientation?

Yeah, that is what it's called.

I was like, what was I at? Orientation. I don't even know what I was at tonight.

Are you president of this one, vice president of that one? I'm not sure.

I am the immediate— immediate past president.

You're president emeritus.

So, okay, so anyways, talk to the school staff. Don't be shy and advocate for your— form a connection. Work together. Tell them what works. Ask them how you can be helpful. If you need help communicating with the school this was like a huge part of my job, so I am always happy to help with this. I think this is one of the things that I talk to parents about the most, and, um, I think that the biggest mistake that I see is that parents are like, oh, I will go tell that teacher, blah blah blah, and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you don't want a combative relationship because it works against you. You want to work together as team. So you can get your point across by— you can be assertively nice and you can get your way, or you can be combative and probably not get that teacher to want to work with you. So, um, anything else about easing into school?

No, that was more helpful than it was when I read it, so I'm very glad we did a live about it. And you're going to check who's on the podcast on Friday. Okay, well, I haven't been home I'm saying you're going right, you're looking right now. So tell everybody while she's looking, you should go to whinyblues.com, check out the Linktree with all of Rebecca's resources, subscribe to the newsletter 3 times a week, parenting and marriage tips. It's free. It is catching, it is growing every single day. It is awesome. You should also, we would love it if you would like, comment, share, rate, review, and subscribe all of her stuff to help other parents see it. And who's on the podcast on Friday?

Daniella Bowman, Bowman, Daniella Bowman, and she is high— her topic is high performance without pain.

Oh, that's— I want to listen to that one.

What a great topic. And, um, loved talking to her. You're gonna love the new podcast. And, you know, if you know a family going back to school, which I'm sure you do, please share this with them because I'm sure they could take something away from it. And why was this more helpful than the written blog?

Because you came up with ideas talking about it that I hadn't read or remembered or heard of.

Hmm. So the vlog—

repetition is helpful and different forms of media sink in differently.

The vlog is better than the blog this week, but you can go read the detailed blog at whinygoogle.com. So we did do the August challenge. I did drop off prizes to to the winners, personalized prizes. I am doing another challenge. I'm gonna tell you this funny story before I let you go. Kendra Scott sent me a necklace that is not the necklace that I ordered. That is super funny, and you can find out why it's funny if you go to my Winey Plus a Mom group on Facebook, because I'm doing a giveaway and I'm giving—

We're giving, that is a necklace that you cannot wear.

I cannot wear this necklace.

You'll find out why.

And I'm giving it away.

Wasn't cheap, so that's one heck of a gift.

So I need to pick a winner for my necklace giveaway, and on September 1st starts the September challenge for more prizes.

And start calling you Rebecca Oprah.

I love the group because it's like a supportive community where we can talk about whatever, and you know, I like to talk about challenges, successes, tips, etc. And other people post stuff too and have questions. I love when moms are like, I have a question, and they just post it and they get like a bunch of answers. I'll never forget when one mom was like, um, I'm potty training my kid, please help me. And I was like, oh, I did that 3 times with 3 different kids. I could potty train.

You're a pro, baby.

Oh, and I also potty trained our dog. And that was a different system. So yes, so if you have parenting or marriage questions or want to share your successes or challenges, come to the group. It's free and I love it. And I need 5 more members to get to 600.

Oh, we should give away a prize to the 600th member.

So we should give the 600th member a prize. But no, everybody's gonna wait to be the 600th.

So we'll do a drawing and someone in the 600 gets a prize.

Oh my gosh. So anyways, thank you for joining us, and, um, we'll be back next week with a new topic.

Happy Winey Palooza Wednesday.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, Leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC. To discover how you can have your own show completely done for you and turn it into a real published book and become the authority in your marketplace, go to www.marketdominationllc.com/podcastoffer.

49 faces looked to him in triumph. Over the last 12 months, they had each taken turns and promoted his business for a week at a time. Driving over $987,342 in revenue. What if you had a network of 50 centers of influence who promoted your business every week for a year? Grab your copy of the number one Amazon bestselling book, The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Business with a Podcast, at 33% off the Amazon price by going to ultimatepodcastbook.com. Again, that website for 33% off the Amazon price is ultimatepodcastbook.com. This episode— yeah, we made it. The voice you just heard, we helped put them there. And right now someone's out there thinking, I should have I have my own podcast. You should. Not because it's trendy, not because content is king, but because your voice has weight, your ideas have gravity, and the right people, they're waiting to hear you. We build shows that don't just sound good, they work for your brand, your business, your audience. Ready to step up to the mic? To see if you could grow your business with a podcast, apply at yourdream50.com/SethLerner. Rebecca Greene, G-R-E-E-N-E, because your story deserves more than just ears.