Episode 466: Peter Makes Waves

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No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza. Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Greene.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Greene. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everybody, happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday!

No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza Wednesday! Have some wine and join us on Winey Blues Wednesday with the Green Family.

Thanks, honey bunny, with your beautiful new hair. Ella just got her hair done.

Yes, I did. I got some layers and some highlights.

Tanner, really? Tanner, really?

I got a haircut. I didn't get any layers or highlights.

Tanner, do you see where he went?

Yes, right in front of you. Tanner wants to be on the show. You people on camera can't see him, but he's right there. Oh, maybe you can see him.

I'm trying to show them the dog.

Now you're just doing an extreme close-up on yourself.

Peter is on top of me right now. Um, there's my dog right there. Anyways, um, this week is all about Peter. So Ella wrote about Changing of the Guard, and I wrote about Peter Makes Waves.

Who's Peter?

Would you like to start us off, my lady? Tanner, go!

So Peter is our new fish that we got. Um, it's technically Lily's fish, but Max does most of the work.

Stop!

He's in Max's room. Max was doing all the work.

No, no!

But while he's away— me— oh my God. But while he's away, me and my mom have been taking care of him, and I don't know, I really like the fish. Um, so I talked about how I feel like with me taking care of the fish and being in his room, I feel like my head has grown where Max's head used to be because Max's head has gone off and done his life stuff.

The guard is changing.

Yes, we changed the guard, and I felt that was really poetic because it's the cycle of growing up.

And you were sitting at his desk taking care of his fish and petting his cat.

Oh yeah, Faith was also there while I was writing the vlog, which is the cat he picked.

So he picked the cat, he took over the fish. He is taking better care of the fish than Ella and I are, but he's leaving for college, so Ella and I have to figure this out.

Fish are really hard to take care of.

So I'm gonna tell you I may have mentioned this last week, I don't remember. Did— when did we get the fish? What day?

Like last Friday, I think it was the last—

didn't I talk about Peter? Did I not talk about Peter on the live last week? No, I didn't. It was after that. Okay, so, so Lily's boyfriend wins her this fish, and so a goldfish. So she says to me, let's stop at the pet store and get it a bowl.

Last week was our questions answered.

So I get this fish that she names Summer. I get her— thought it was a girl— a bowl and some food, and I go home and I pour the fish with the fish water into the bowl and I add water, and I don't—

and we thought we were good, and I thought that was it.

And I went upstairs and I put it in her room and the fish hid behind the mermaid and the fish looked unhappy and nervous, and I left her with her fish. And Max comes home, and Ella comes in, and the two of them are like, "Mom, did you do any research for this fish?" Well, no, it's a freaking goldfish. I put it in a bowl, and I fed it some fish food. Like, what do you want me to do? And Max is like, "No, no, no, no, no." So I would never think— have you ever If you've owned a goldfish, I want to hear, did your goldfish die quickly? Did your goldfish live a long life? Did you research how to take care of a goldfish?

Because last time I had a goldfish would have been from winning it at a fair when I was a kid. No, there was no research. We did not have the internet back then. There was no YouTube videos. We just tossed the bag of water into a bigger bowl of water and yeah, then the fish, you know, dies shortly, you know, a few days later.

How long did you have your fish?

I don't even remember, but it was probably less than a week.

Okay, so I think that I had my fish for a couple years, and I have to ask my mom what we put the fish in. But anyways, so I get yelled at that I know nothing, which I knew. I didn't know I needed to research taking care of a fish. And Max is like, you need 20 gallons for the first fish, you need 10 gallons for each fish after that. And you need to test the water, you need to have the right temperature, you have to buy all these chemicals, you have to— I don't know, conditioner. I didn't know anything.

Pump, filter.

So you need a filter, Mom. Like, you know nothing. So we go to the store, he buys— we buy a kit, and Max and I spend the whole entire night setting up. And Ella, Ella helps too.

I'm sorry, it's not like I did nothing, people.

You helped. You helped.

I did.

Max did most of it.

Max did most of it.

Um, I stayed up with Max for moral support and to do whatever he needed me to do.

Yeah, I was abandoned that evening. Like run to Wegmans to get a bucket because all of our buckets might have one day had soap in them and they can't ever have been touched by soap.

I am going to tell you that the bucket in the garage had bleach in it, so we're going to keep that bucket in the garage. We'll tell you that.

Not the one that you bought.

I know, I know. So face like, oh my god. Well, because we couldn't have used because we were going to use her bucket, right?

So we set up the fish, put the fish in the tank. He had to first get the fish used to the water.

Yeah, you have to hold it in the water a while.

Put the— nobody does this.

Yes, people do.

Nobody does this. Nobody does this. Get on here and tell me about your goldfish.

I want to know.

I'll try it on the live.

Okay, so he puts the fish in after the fish gets used to the water. And now the fish has been in there for how long? A week? Has it been a week? Not even.

About a week.

We have a new pet. We have a new pet and we did not ask for him. And I'm gonna tell you that it's been kind of fun bonding with Max and Ella over this fish. Lily has abandoned the fish. Lily maybe said hello to the fish today, maybe. Um, it's Max's fish. Max has named the fish Peter.

Because we found out it is a boy.

Max thinks it's a boy. Max loves Spider-Man. We named it Peter, and, um, it's been fun bonding with Max over this fish. Max has been a really good fish dad. Max is away this week, and it has been really good practice for me that Max is away this week because as sad as I am, I know I'm going to be okay when he goes to college. I miss him. But I'll be okay. I don't know how you feel, Seth.

It's— yes, it's been weirdly quiet.

Um, I realized that my daughters ask me for a lot of things, so it's one less kid asking me for things. I try my best, although he's texting me asking me for money, so he's still asking me for things.

Oh, you did not tell me this.

Um, I just Venmo'd his friend for his dinner, so, um, Max's friend just paid for his dinner and I just paid his friend. So he is still asking me for things, and I'm sure he'll be asking me for things from college, but it's been very strange with him away this week. It's been very good practice, and I realized this week that it's interesting having this fish in his room because I was getting so sad every time I went in his room and he wasn't there, and I was like, oh my God, this is gonna suck when he's at school, and and I realized Peter has totally changed his bedroom for me.

Peter is his replacement.

So now I go into Max's bedroom—

You can't cuddle the goldfish.

I want to.

You have to get out of the tank.

I want you to listen. Now I go into Max's room and I feel all warm and fuzzy to see our goldfish, and I don't feel sad when I go in Max's room. So Peter has been helping me cope with Max leaving, so it has been good for me. And it has been good for Max. Max said he really likes having something to take care of that isn't him. And if I could do it over again— and I'm telling you this because a lot of you have little kids— I would have gotten him fish 10 years ago, and he would have probably researched how to take care of fish. He would probably have like 7 fish. I mean, I don't know where it would have gone, but I think he would have really liked having fish in his room and taking care of them, and, uh, it's definitely something that I think is good for kids to learn to take care of something, and he loves it. I mean, you're enjoying it too. Yeah, I think it's good for kids to have pets, something outside of yourself. I think it's good for kids to have pets that they're actually responsible for, because Max doesn't do anything for the dog or the cats.

He should do something. Well, the dog wasn't his idea, the dog was your idea, but he should have to do stuff about the cats.

None of it was my idea, so I shouldn't.

Okay, right, so the cats were all Max's idea, so Max should be taking care of the cats. Yeah, when I said I wanted Tanner, Seth is like, he's all yours, you can take care of him. Although you help.

I do, and I'm not supposed to, but I do anyway.

I do most of it.

Yes, you do.

I do most. I take care of— I mean, Tanner knows that he's my dog and he knows that I do most things for him. Yes, I even brushed his teeth last night.

It's very impressive.

And, uh, Max should be taking care of the cats. That was apparent fail on my part. What I should have said— and we need to follow through, people, listen to me— if you want these cats, they're your responsibility, and you're gonna feed them, and you're gonna clean their litter, and you're gonna Clean up after him. Clean up after the puke that I cleaned today. So I'm gonna tell you that if we can do something for our kids, we should give them responsibility with pets. I think it's really good for them, and I have loved seeing Max take care of this fish, and he's taking it very seriously. And I've had a total crash course on goldfish.

That's an understatement.

It might be continuing.

So that is what's going on in the greenhouse. We have a new pet. We have never had a fish in the greenhouse. We have never had a bird.

No, we're not listening.

We have never had a turtle. We have never had a rabbit. I requested an axolotl like years ago and they said no, so I am regretting my decision. Okay, so this is the decision.

This is the fish bag. As soon as it walked into the house— swam into the house—

Lily, I'm regretting made the decision not to get Ella an axolotl. But what I'm going to say about that is that I don't want anything that smells. So what I would have had to do—

and Tanner doesn't smell.

Tanner needs a bath every day. Tanner needs a bath. Um, what else did I want to tell you? We are deep in planning Lily's bat mitzvah. And, um, it is a lot of work. It is a lot of work. I can't even tell you the amount of hours. If you see that I'm not posting as much as I normally do, it's because I am really busy with this bat mitzvah. I texted my producer today. Um, what question did she ask me? Do you remember what she asked me? Um, I'm asking Ella. She was in the car, so she, um, she asked me some sort of question, and I told her, I said, I just want to let you know what is going on over here because I am deep, deep, deep into this bat mitzvah, and I'm going to be MIA until it's done. So I wanted to give her the heads up that work has been very little for me because I have a full-time job with the bat mitzvah.

Greatly appreciate every single thing you're doing for them.

So at the bat mitzvah, I expect huge appreciation said by my husband for all my work for him for this bat mitzvah.

Yes.

And I don't even know that Miss Thing deserves all the work that I've been doing. And my fabulous friend Claire has been helping me, and, uh, we have a lot going on. So it's a busy summer. It's busier than I thought it would be. I knew it would be intense. I don't think I realized how intense because I am going to finish the bat mitzvah. It's going to be fantastic. Then I'm going to jump into finishing Max's list for college because I'm not done buying him stuff for college. Then we're going to move Max to college, and then summer's pretty much over. So maybe after I take Max to college, maybe I will just put my feet up for the rest of the summer, right?

You got a few weeks.

Did you hear what I said? Are you gonna take me on vacation?

You won't pick a place. Oh, I had an idea though. I had another idea.

Are you gonna tell us or you're gonna wait?

Oh, am I doing this on air?

It depends if you're comfortable.

Okay, how about a hotel we haven't been to at Niagara-on-the-Lake?

Hmm, I wanted the Atlantis in the Bahamas.

You— I offered the Atlantis and you said no. You said it's hurricane season.

No, I'll go if you'll take me.

You said no.

You said I didn't—

it was hurricane.

I didn't know if you'd want to spend the money with all the money we're spending.

That didn't affect you before? You didn't care about that before?

That was the last thing I said to you was I don't know that you want to plan a vacation with all the money we're spending.

But you're still asking me to keep going, so which is it?

Okay, well, we'll, we'll go have a conversation. So Seth and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage on September 3rd.

Yep.

We are very blessed, and I would like to celebrate.

I would like to celebrate too.

Niagara on the Lake would be lovely if you'll get me a massage at the hotel. It could be the same hotel, it doesn't need to be different.

Oh, okay, because the other hotel— other things I had suggested, you said no, I've been there, done that, not doing it again, to every other thing I suggested.

I like the Niagara on the Lake idea. I like that.

Okay, let's do that.

Um, I like the idea of getting like massages. I need a massage. All right, we'll get you massages at the hotel with a nice dinner.

Okay.

And relaxation.

I can do that.

Is there a pool at the hotel, do you think?

It depends on— well, the one we went to last time had a pool. We went in it.

Okay, I don't remember.

It'll be new to you then. Hallelujah!

I want to go to the Atlantis.

I offered, I offered.

Okay, we'll go discuss. So coming up on the podcast this Friday is my dear friend Shana James. Shana is an amazing— is she a coach, Seth? I think she's coach, um, all about intimacy after 40. She had so many wonderful things to teach us. I love when I have a chance to talk to her. She was— is a fantastic coach. You're gonna love her, so listen to her. Uh, Shayna and I were born on the same day in the same town, um, different hospitals but same day, same town, and we used to have our birthday parties together when we were little. So I have known Shayna like my whole life, and, uh, I love that we both went in— born on the same day, went into the same field. So I focus on like different things than Shayna, but we're very similar.

Different niches.

Different niches, but marriage and family.

Yeah, family therapy versus intimacy.

Yes. So check out—

see, helps with marriage, and then you get more kids to be family therapy out of it.

I love it. So listen to Shayna because you're gonna love her, and I have something very important to share with you. For Lily's Bat Mitzvah project, she is raising money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and this Saturday, if you are local, feel free to message me for my address. We are doing a bake sale from 3 to 7 PM to benefit Make-A-Wish. You can come make a wish and buy baked goods. Lily is busy baking this week, and we're going to see how much money she can raise for this awesome charity for her project.

Get a treat, they're delish, help the kids at Make-A-Wish.

Or you're very cute, Seth. Or you, if you are unable to come, if you're out of town or you're busy, um, if you go underneath this video, there is, uh, the next post is the Make-A-Wish Lily website. Yeah, and you can just go to the website and donate there, and she would so appreciate it because she's trying to raise a lot of money for them. And, um, what else do you want to tell them, Seth?

Go to whinypalooza.com, find the Linktree with all of Rebecca's free resources, sign up for all of them including the 3 times a week email newsletter, and with all of her content, help her, get it out to more amazing moms and parents like all of you by liking, commenting, rating, reviewing, and sharing and subscribing, because that tells the algorithms at Facebook, iTunes, and everywhere else to show it to more people.

If you're listening to this on my podcast, a lot of people don't realize that you can scroll down and hit—

rate her, give her 5 stars, and a 1 to 2 sentence written review would be about how wonderful it is, would be awesome.

So a lot of people don't know that do that.

And please do that.

We so appreciate everybody for tuning in and joining us and being part of the community. And, uh, my Whiny Palooza Mom group is on Facebook and it's free and it's supportive. And, um, anyways, happy summer. I hope your summer is more relaxing than mine. And we will be back next week.

Happy Whiny Palooza Wednesday.

Thank you for watching Whiny Palooza Wednesday with the Greene family.

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