After a Valentine's Day breakup, write a detailed list of what you want in a partner, then check whether you already have those qualities yourself. One speaker's 11-page list helped her attract a healthier relationship, while an ex's brief list didn't work the same way.
Going through a breakup around Valentine's Day, a lot of people are getting the sting because they're seeing these quote unquote romantic gestures and whatnot. What's a good way to kind of get through that? Like, and Finding Nemo, you know, trying to get through the jellyfish.
Yeah, well, Finding Nemo, I want you to just keep swimming. Like, swimming. The love. Keep going for the love. Okay. Don't give up. Just keep swimming. You know, the sting is real. But here's your assignment. If you really want, want the dream of love. And again, my clients don't just get the dream. They exceed their expectations of what the dream could be. Here's what I have them all do. First and foremost, you're going to make a list. You're literally going to get out a pen and a paper and you're going to write down all of your requirements, all of your standards, all of what you want in your dream relationship. And I'm not talking about six foot two, six pack abs. You can put that if you want. But what qualities do you want this person to have? They value their health. They have a healed relationship with their family and their childhood. They have money and enjoy their career. They have a relationship with spirituality or religion, whatever it might be. Make your list. My list. When I called in Mark, my second husband, first marriage was a goddamn dumpster fire. This one, my list was 11 pages, front and back, 11 pages and on date three, I read it to him and he goes, well, do you want to see my list now? I was trying to scare him off.
Amazing.
And he's like, do you want to see my list? His was a half a page. Mine was essentially 22 pages. I am not saying you have to go that deep, but I do want you specific and I do want you to have a list. So your job is to make a list. Part one, part two. Look at that list and make sure you are all those things. Because so many of you want in a partner what you haven't stepped up and become. And so if you want it, you got to be it. You don't get back the love you give to others. You get back the love you give to yourself and you attract your level of integrity.
That right there, you just nailed it like that. That is it right there.
Nobody else is going to tell you, but I'm going to freaking tell you.
