Are you ready to tackle your worthiness?

Welcome to the Healing Is Possible hot seat with me, your host, Rebecca. Silence. Every Tuesday, we get hot, we get sticky, and we take on what is in the way of healing. We bring in guests and I do breakthrough coaching with volunteers. If you want to join me, message me in the hot seat. We have availability this summer and it is amazing how quickly she healing can begin. And that momentum just creates an opening for so much. Today I've got a very special guest for part two of our series, Dr. Stefan Lovegrove. He calls himself Dr. Lovegrove on Instagram, Stefan Lovegrove on Facebook. He is America's life coach. And today, Stefan, I want to welcome you and I want to talk about work worthiness.

Yeah, I love this topic. Let's do it.

What does it mean to be worthy? How do you get past fear of being arrogant or too much? I just want to have you go off, tell us all the things.

Well, so you probably know where I may begin this conversation, because I want to talk about what planted this seed of this very important conversation for me years ago. So I was in, at the time, a soul cycle class. She doesn't teach there anymore, but I was in a soul cycle class. And my fabulous instructor, Angela Davis, who I love, I think her handle is shaped with Angela. Still no, maybe change it Angela Manuel Davis. Either way, look her up, love her, couldn't say enough good things. Always like to promo the people I love. Anyway, was in her class and she said one day in the middle of a ride, we only receive what we believe we are worthy of. And that sentence rocked my world. And I want to explain why I was still probably, I would say, in my first five years of being in the personal development world as a student, as a client, as a business owner, all the things at that time. And it made a lot of pieces click for me when she said that, because I would do these Q and A's as a coach and people would ask if we're all worthy, if we're all deserving of good things, et cetera. Why is there poverty? Why is there hunger? What about this? What about that? And we get asked these questions. And I was a philosophy and religion major in college, so I'm certainly not one to shy away from a difficult conversation. But I would get asked these questions and something clicked for me when she said that we don't automatically receive everything we're worthy of. You know, we may wish it worked that way. I certainly wish it worked that way. But we don't automatically receive everything we're worthy of. We receive according to what we believe. And because that rhymes. I know it sounds a little Dr. Seuss Seussish, but it made something make sense to me that everybody is living out a direct reflection of their beliefs and you could be completely worthy of something and still not let yourself receive it. And that was the light bulb moment for me. If that is the case, I better make sure that I believe I am worthy of what I want. And it is funny, I remember getting into a quasi argument with a coach one time because, you know, I have a program called Worthiness Workshop. It is, to date, the program of mine, most people have gone through. And so you remember this program. But I had a coach quasi argue with me one time and say, you know, I understand what you are doing, but you know, you don't need to be selling people their worthiness because we're all worthy. And I said to them, I said, I get your point. And I said, please understand, I'm not trying to sell people something that, that already is within them. That's not the point. I said, the issue is you can be inherently whole and inherently worthy and not feel it. You can be inherently whole and inherently worthy, but you don't see it, you don't believe it. And if you don't believe it, you're not going to let yourself experience it. And so that's what the work is to me is it's not enough to just be inherently whole by creation if you don't see yourself that way, because if you don't see it, you're not going to create it. And that's really what this, you know, that's really what this work is to me.

Oh my gosh. And what an epidemic of people potentially understanding, okay, there's, there's worthiness here, there's deservingness here, but not being fully aligned with that. So how do you take on the alignment with your worthiness? You're hitting so many people hard right now, I guarantee it.

Well, so obviously we have to look at where. Because. So let's talk about inherently worthy, inherently whole. I believe every single one of us is born inherently worthy, inherently whole. And yet many of us, if we're being honest, we don't feel that. Right? That, that doesn't ring true for us. So my question then becomes, who told you? Like I think about in the, the poem of creation, I.e. adam and Eve in that story in the Hebrew text, God says to them, who told you you were naked? Who told you? Where did that idea come from? And to every person who doesn't feel Inherently worthy. I would challenge you to begin looking for who told me that. Because we'll start to unpack the beliefs, the thought systems, the stories that have been handed to us that told us something other. And, you know, there's several common stories that I think people hear, or at least categories of those stories. But it's extremely powerful when you can trace back for yourself. And where did I get these stories from that I've been believing? And when you realize where they came from, you automatically realize, this doesn't even belong to me. Someone passed this down to me, and if I don't want to carry this anymore, I don't have to. And that's a powerful realization.

Yeah. And not only is it not yours, the person saying it to you, it's likely not even theirs. It's probably projection. It's somebody said it to them. So watching you can be the person that begins to break that cycle. But then, Stefan, what's the next step? Because I know exactly where the being confronted with my worthiness or not began. But then what's the next step? Once you get all that, where do you go from there?

Yeah. Well, so here's where I would say, you want to begin to contrast. If I can use. I don't know if I'm going to pull off this alliteration, Right. But if I can contrast lowercase T thoughts with capital T, truth. And another way to say that would be if you're dealing with a thought that feels true to you because you've held on to it and believed it for so long. Right. You're holding on to a thought. I would ask in a coaching context, okay, but looking at that thought, what actually is the truth? Or, and put it another way, even if some part of you that does feel true, you know, just because you believed it for so long, at this point, what is more true? What is a deeper truth than that? What is a higher truth than that? And you want to start to draw this contrast where you can. And we were talking about this last time about healing, where you can return to the truth. So do you have an example thought for us? We can do a live example in the hot seat today. Do you have an example thought for us?

So the thought that I heard, okay, so the story I heard from a very young age was, you're a worthless piece of shit. That was said to me. And then you talked about, in our part one, integrating fear. And I just integrated that so hard. And then I know, I know that's not true. And then that's what Was said that's the beginning of the story.

Okay, so. So let's use this example. And I appreciate you sharing this, and I'm sure there's a lot of people who heard some version of that. You know, as a gay kid, I heard gross, disgusting, abomination. You know, I'm right with you on the POS kind of stories, unfortunately. So here's the key. You want to look for the capital T truth that you can answer that with. That feels like it resolves it for you. So I'm going to give some examples. But the key I want you to see here is you want to feel into what is the one that when I hear it in consciousness, it feels like it solves, feels like it resolves it. It feels like it answers it. Right? So if we're weighing out lowercase T thought that you were given, you are a worthless piece of shit, which is a thought that somebody could, by the way, believe and then go create evidence of that. This you right? And now they're in a cycle. Now they have evidence. Well, this evidence reinforces that I feel like a worthless piece of shit. So now I'm going to believe it even more. And now I'm going to go create more evidence. And now. So that's the cycle people get in. But what if we answer that thought with a capital T truth. And so examples of a capital T truth could be, well, how about God doesn't create shit? So if you were created by God, God doesn't make shit. God doesn't make accidents, God doesn't make unnecessary people. God doesn't make trash. God doesn't make bad creations. Right? So God doesn't make shit. That's a possible truth. How about what God created remains as God created it. Or if you don't like the God word, what love created remains as love created it. So I came from love. The only thing I could be is love. And nothing that happens in space or time could ever touch the fact that I am love. I remain as I was created, and I am love. And you can hear there's all these different expressions of the truth, but for one person, God doesn't make shit. We'll do it for another person. I remain as God created me, will do it for another person. The truth that I am love will do it. I am a perfect creation of the divine, etc. You're looking for what is the truth that when you hear it, it's such a higher vibration that it sets seemingly automatically pulls you up out of that thought that no longer Even feels like you have to believe it anymore. That's the kind of work you want to be doing.

I love that. And what would follow that phrase was always who do you think you are? So what I just got was really settling into the truth of I am love. That's who I think I am. Which is a much different energy than that little version of me was willing to step into or understand. And thank you. I think this is so good for all of us to just wherever you are, consider that we will create evidence to support those stories and it is okay to challenge them and to step into integration around what's true for you so that you can go live your life and serve.

And I really feel led to emphasize this as an aha moment for somebody today. Because honestly, when I'm now thinking about, I feel like this is one of the pattern interrupts. Maybe the biggest pattern interrupts of that workshop for people is this realization. Some of you have created your life from a faulty belief for so long that you don't even see it as a thought or a belief. You just see it as the way life is. You just see it as the way the world is. And if we were to challenge you on it today, you would have piece of evidence after piece of evidence after piece of evidence that no, no, no, this is how it is. And I think one of the biggest realizations is the minute that you let yourself believe something new and give a new belief a chance to begin creat that point, you can get some new evidence and you can start a new pattern, a new momentum, a new cycle. And I just think one of the biggest things we've got to have a moment in our life where we realize is I got to interrupt this pattern. I have been living into and creating from a faulty belief for so long. And I have never challenged it, I have never pushed back. I have never dared to question. Question it and try believing something different. And what if I did?

Well, and what if we would take our commitment to believing how unworthy we are and put all of that energy into really aligning with how worthy we are?

Yeah. I mean, another thing that's interesting about this discussion is when you believe you're unworthy of something, it actually makes your desires painful. And it's interesting, I think you were asking me in the last interview, what about somebody whose desires and dreams and whatever feel covered up, like they can't access them? This is a big piece of that is if I feel unworthy anyway, right? Like, I don't deserve it. I'm not worthy of it might not be available to me anyway. Thinking about my desires that I'm sure I can't have is actually very painful and actually puts me in that state of deprivation where I feel like I'm being withheld from. I can't have what I want. And that sucks. The feeling that I can't have what I want. It's like our inner child, like I think about a two year old toddler that like wants the toy, the toy gets taken away. They're devastated. It's like our inner child even is devastated that we can't have what we want. And so that would be, by the way, a reason that people wouldn't access their desires is if they're starting from the premise of unworthy. Right. Well, that'll do it. And so what if, and what would be possible if you approached your desires from a knowing of worthiness, it will feel completely different. There won't be any of the pain or deprivation and it's much easier to access them from that place.

Yeah. And then what would you say to someone who's just afraid to be too arrogant?

Hmm. So it's interesting, when you were talking about something a moment ago, I was having this thought. When you're standing on divine authority and divine birthright, that's not anything to do with arrogance or ego. Ego and actual arrogance would be the part of you that believes that you're independent, isolated, separate from all that is and fighting for your little, little self. Right. The most arrogant thing in the world is trying to stay in separation and isolation and little s stuff. And so I, you know, I mean there's God. The arrogance topic is so important because there's so much I could say about this. But I, I think the, the thought that I want to share here is it is your divine responsibility to live what you are here to live to honor the path that is inside of you, to go after the desires that were put in you. That is your birthright and that is your responsibility. So it is not arrogant or selfish to do that. I said to someone the other day, and I don't think I've ever said this sentence before, but it's really been ringing in my consciousness now. The most generous thing that you can do for all of us is to live out your path here on this earth because we need the contribution that you are here to make. And so it's not arrogant for you to do that. It's actually loving. And the other thing I'll throw in here is most of us believe that you know, claiming what we want or believing we get to have what we want. Most of us think that's arrogant because we believe it's an either or, us versus them kind of game where if I get to have what I want, somebody else is losing out and that's why we don't want to claim it. If the truth of the matter is that there's room for everyone, that there's plenty for everyone, that there's more than enough good to go around for everyone, it's not arrogant to claim yours. And actually, by you being a demonstration of living in the good, you make space for others to do the same.

Okay, preach, Stefan. That is so good. And you also, I think, model really beautifully and teach. There's not a cookie cutter way to do worthiness like I've heard you talk about. You'll spend your time watching Hallmark movies and you do a lot socially. You've had homes on either end of the country. You're really living, living your life. Will you speak to that?

Yeah. Well, I think everybody watching this can really ask themselves, what do I believe I have to do to be ready for, worthy for, or deserving of success? And make a list. Like, seriously, do the exercise and figure out what you believe.

Say it one more time.

Yes. So write out what do I believe that I have to do? What is required for me to be worthy of, ready for, or deserving of success. And look at that list because that list will show you how unnecessarily hard you're making it for yourself. And so I think that the concept that you're referencing is I am always willing to let it be easy and I don't make myself buy into all of these silly terms and conditions being required. So I don't believe I have to work 12 hour days. I don't believe that I have to do, you know, send 79 emails to set to sell something I don't believe. Like, I could give so many examples. But the point is, I am always trying to shorten the list as much as possible to say I get to have it because. So now let me follow any inspired actions I'm led to to help me create this. But let's be very clear that I'm receiving it because I'm in alignment with it and I am worthy of it. Just because I'm not doing these things to earn it, I'm not doing these things to prove it. I'm certainly not doing these things to be worthy of it. I am worthy of it because I am. Now let me be guided to the easiest path of receiving and that's a completely different energy.

So good. Thank you Stefan. Everyone watching, I would love to hear in the comments what your takeaways are. What have you learned about worthiness? What were your big ahas from this segment? Because I think it's gold. Stefan. Can't thank you enough. How do people get ahold of you, follow you and support your work?

Yeah, well, honestly, the most content of personal growth, spiritual law and principle, all of that juicy stuff that I do is on Facebook. So if you are already on Facebook, Stefan Lovegrove, happy to connect with you here. Also of course on Instagram drlovegrove D R L O V E G R O V E Feel free to say hi, would love to chat, would love to hear your takeaways.

Thank you Stefan. And if you would like to join me in the hot seat for laser coaching or to share your healing message, message me right away. Way your gifts, your purpose, your message. You are needed out there in the world. Thanks for tuning in to the healing is possible hot seat and we'll see you soon.