Authenticity Is the Answer | Presence, Practice, Clarity, and Authenticity

And I am honored every single week to join you in the healing as possible hot seat, where we discuss topics and bring in leaders and healers and coach brave volunteers to move through stuck. It is about support and community and getting the most out of our lives. If you are here, my suspicion is that you want to get the most out of your lives. And I honor that. I've got this week a very, very special guest, Cynthia Blanco, integrative, holistic coach extraordinaire, here to share with us her take on authenticity and why authenticity is the answer. Cynthia, welcome.

Thank you so much, Rebecca. I am truly honored, honestly. I'm not just saying that. I really am. You are just such a beautiful leader and you stay so true to yourself and you continue to do your work and what you're offering your community is just beautiful to me. So I'm really, truly, actually excited to be here because I think it's a great opportunity and also, you know, to be with you, Rebecca. I mean, you're just so such a giver and you've been through so much and you've gotten through it, and you're here to share that with people, and it's lovely.

Thank you, Cynthia. It's been an honor to work with you over the years, and it is so exciting to watch you building your own coaching practice.

And, you know, the hot seat, I.

Like to say, does get hot and sticky sometimes, because if we already had.

An opening from where we are to where we want to be, that gap would be closed. And I think authenticity is one of the key ingredients to closing the gap between where we are and where we want to be and to also identifying where we want to be. So if you would just share with us one what healing means to you and why discussing authenticity today is so important to you.

Great question. Yeah. So healing to me is natural. Healing is what we all do all the time. It's an amazing miracle of life. And for me, healing is also a choice at times. We can choose to stay stuck, or we can choose to look at the hard things and get through it. And. And it's always available. And, you know, I've been called a healer and all those things, and it doesn't feel right to call myself a healer because I just choose healing. You know, I. I've chosen healing throughout my life for whatever reason. Like, I just was lucky. I decided, you know what, I'm going this way. And. And so. And so for me, that's what healing is. It's also a state. State of being, you know, when we're really present with, present moment, present with our body, present with our breath, present with our thoughts, and then present with the person we're speaking with or people we're speaking with. There's an opportunity for healing in that because our body is more aligned, we're more aligned energetically, and we're able to. Our body's able to do its job. And when I say body, I'm not just talking about your flesh, but also your energetic body, your emotional body, your mental body. All those things are available to heal when we're present. So in the type of coaching we do, Rebecca and myself, presence is really important when we're speaking with our clients and we're working with people, even in a facilitation setting, because we understand that if we rush or we go too fast, that can actually deter the healing. So presence, you know, that's really key in all of this. The next element is practice. So we practice. We practice life. We're practicing something. You know, we practice how we. We walk, we practice how we talk, we practice how we dress. You know, Rebecca practices these amazing live things that she's doing with all of this amazing community. You know, she's practicing it, and she's committed to it, and she's doing it. You know, we practice how we think, we practice how we put things away, and all of these things build to something, you know? So I'll use a musician for an example. My Uncle Kenny plays the trumpet, and he teaches a lot of workshops all over the world, actually. But one of the things he talks about a lot is practice, right? And you gotta practice. You're not just gonna hop on stage and play your trumpet and sound like Reverend Marsalis. You know, you've got to practice your trumpet. And it's not just practicing your trumpet. It's how you practice. What is your intention in practicing? Are you developing quality skills in your practice? Right, because you can practice something and actually have it hinder your authenticity. So what is authenticity? Yeah, authenticity is. I mean, what is authenticity? It's purely being you. It is who you are. It is not filtered by artificial ingredients. It's not, you know, has other people's thoughts and things in it, even though our thoughts aren't our own. But you're purely connected to the essence of who you are.

So, Cynthia, before you continue, you are just sharing so much goodness. I want to go back to two things you said. So the first thing you said was you chose this path of healing, and I would love to hear you expand more on that. And then I have another question about presence and a question about this healing as a practice. Brilliant. But what had you choose the path of healing? And how did you know that was the authentic. Right. Choice? How can people connect to what's authentic to them around choosing healing?

I mean, I think there were a lot of times in my life, you know, I can't think of just one moment, but I can think of several moments. I'll say it was in my trauma, it was in my grief, where I was able to choose, because it was the only thing that comforted me. Now, that's me. I'm not saying everybody's gonna do that, but for me, I had an experience of. I'll share a story with you guys. So actually, when I first met Rebecca, I had just lost a baby. And Heather Steele, who runs Legacy Training, invited me to teach yoga at her Legacy 4 retreat for her students. And I went to this teaching yoga, and, I mean, Rebecca and everybody were just so generous to me as this guest yoga person. And we went to a sweat lodge, and in this sweat lodge, and, I mean, I was grieving during this seminar. I was really in grief. I had just lost this baby, and I'm in a sweat lodge. And I had this profound experience because of my grief, of a connection to what's real for me. Now. That doesn't mean that what I was perceiving is true for sure. It just means that I had an experience of, this is not real for me. This is real for me. This isn't real for me. This is real for me now. That came from a practice of listening to myself. That came from a practice of years trusting myself. And so in developing that practice of trusting myself, I was able to then go decipher in the moment. And so sometimes this is annoying to people because I'll do it in a really kind of weird way. And they're like, okay, what do you say? You know, But. And I can work on how I deliver things a little bit better. But anyway, so for me, that was a big moment. That was a big one. Another. Another thing I can think of is, you know, when I was a kid, it was the only thing that comforted me. You know, there were a lot of instabilities and things going on, and the only thing that comforted me was, like, seeking. I mean, at that time, I was seeking something, you know, seeking an opportunity to have a different experience, you know, And I just knew. I just knew that I wanted to have that, a different experience than what I was having. I don't know how I knew that, you know, I mean, for me, it was God. I mean, that's my belief, you know, I know that people use a lot of different words and it doesn't bother me at all, but for me, I use the word God, you know, for me, it was just God being like, look, here's I've got you. It's okay, you know, let's keep going. And then I continue to choose. I continue to choose and continue to choose. I don't know why. I just do. It's. Maybe it's just how my soul is, you know, maybe that's how every. Everybody's soul is. I don't know, you know, I can't say for sure. Does that answer your question?

And it's brilliant. And once you've chosen this path to healing authentically, your first step, because you brought three steps to authenticity to us today, is presence. And before we go back to practice and your third step, can you just give people an idea of how they can get present? Especially now, in the midst of pandemic and all the chaos in our brains and all the chaos in our lives, how do we get present so we can trust that inner guidance that you're referring to?

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of different ways to get present, you know, And I don't want to sit here and say that I know the way, because I know a way for me, and sometimes it works for other people. That's cool. But I mean, for example, if you're a musician, I'm going back to the musician. I just had a phone call with a musician yesterday. If you're musician, the practice of your music can bring you present because you have to listen. You have to listen to other people. And you also have to pay attention to what you're doing to bring in a state of presence. I like meditation for myself. And so I practice something called mindfulness meditation. And I don't just, like, sit and, like, meditate for hours, although I have done that at this point in my life. It's a micro practice, so I have it integrated into my daily life. So if I'm washing the dishes and I notice I'm not present, I get present with my breath. I notice the texture of the water, I notice what I'm doing, the sounds, all those things get present to the moment. It's a practice, it's a learned skill. And so that helps me become present. And then. And then I'm very aware when I'm not present. And I go, why in the heck don't I want to be present with myself, you know, and so I'll pull out my yoga mat and I'll practice some yoga, and I'll be like, you know, I know what it is. I don't want to look at myself right now. There's something I'm avoiding here. And so I want to just add that in there. You know, it can be challenging when we make ourselves wrong. We make ourselves wrong for not being present. We make ourselves wrong for not wanting to look at ourselves. We make ourselves run for our integrity, breaks our relationships that aren't working. And really, the healing work, the healing is possible work that you do and that I do is being present with what is. And that's the difference between us and therapists. And I mean, you're a trained therapist. You can. You can vouch for this. It's being present with the afflictions, right.

With the authenticity of the moment.

It's. It's being like, you know what? I am feeling this instead of avoiding it or escaping it. Right. It's like being here with it and then allowing what comes up to come up and get it out, process it. And. And so does that answer your question?

Oh, I think it's a brilliant answer. And just to expand on that a little bit, what I'm hearing you say is being present to just where you are authentically in the moment is how the healing momentum gets going. And it doesn't mean you have to like it, you have to love it, or even accept that moment as truth. It's just about, this is where I am in this moment, and that's real. And when you fight it, it's like a wave. You either ride the wave or the wave kicks your ass.

Yeah, yeah. And. And then also in that, that practice of presence, you know, we're able to. Able to really give authentically to the world. Right. Because we're not manufacturing some thought that we had yesterday. It's really present with, you know, your. Your chakra system. What you're receiving and giving in the moment is more potent. And. Yeah, so you asked me what the practices were, and so it was meditation for me. Again, you can find it in any discipline you practice. You know, I mean, even if you're, like, working on computers. Absolutely. There's wisdom in that. And you can find your, you know, your healing presence practice even in, you know, computer programming. So I believe that everything is everywhere. So, you know, music's not better than computer programming. You know, you can find this practice in whatever you do. It's just a matter of choosing that, that's something that matters to you, you know?

Yeah.

So that's that.

And I think also you're making an excellent point about the more present we are and the more we're in practice of authenticity, the more we are able to give and be with the authenticity and others, and the more we're able to serve. Which is, I think, the point.

Yeah, yeah. To really connect with people and hear.

Them where they are. Yeah. So what else do you want to share? Just about your second step practice, and then share your third step with us, if you would.

Yeah. So practice for me. I mean, I'm a trained classical dancer, so that's what I did for most of my life. And, you know, practice is just like a part of that. You know, every day you're in ballet, you know, every day you're rehearsing, every day you're practicing. Even the way you walk, the way you sit, the way you think, the way you eat, it's integrated into your whole life. You're practicing because you want to be able to deliver, you know, something beautiful to the world. And so I learned that, you know, started that when I was a little kid and, you know, did that for 30 years, 30 plus years. And in that practice, I learned the importance of practice without knowing I was learning the importance of practice. But I've learned that about myself now, how much that's been ingrained in me, because I practice everything. You can ask Rebecca. I practiced this interview before. You know, I practice everything. I practice because I understand practice is a respect for the work that I've learned. Practice is a respect for the people that I serve. You know, and it's also. It's imperative if we have a dream or we have a goal of some. Something that we want or some how we want to be. You know, I know probably a lot of people that would watch this video have probably high standards. You know, they probably. They want to do something big in the world, like you, Rebecca. And in that process, the only way to get there is practice. You know, somebody will say to me, you know, gosh, I'm just not lining up with how I was 10 years ago, or I'm not lining up with this person that I look up to so much. For me, the answer is practice. You know, this person that you look up to so much here, you know, she practiced those skills, and she practiced using her gifts authentically to get to that point. And she still has things that come up, because everybody does. You know, you don't reach this level of, like, Nothing's gonna bug me anymore, ever. I don't think. I mean, I don't think. I don't know.

I think it's an excellent point. Anyone that is making their authentic emotion or state of being in any given moment wrong, thinking it should be different than it is. It's where you are. And I love what you're saying about practice as something to consider when it comes to authenticity, specifically.

Yes.

It's one of the things I like to say, Cynthia, is that authenticity is a moment to moment process. It's not a destination that we arrive at.

And it is an ongoing practice.

I think this is brilliant. What's your third step for us?

So the third one is. So the first two steps are pretty conventional wisdom, actually, in the healing world, I think. I mean, you hear a lot of people talk about it, but the third one isn't as conventional. And it's a clarity. And so clarity comes from my training with Legacy Training Institute. And the clarity piece isn't just knowing what you want, although that is a part of it. It's actually more vast than that. It's, you know, are you. Are you in a state for me, with clarity, are you in your natural state? Are you in a loving space with this person, with this idea, with this that's going on? Right. Doesn't mean I'm going to use a really dramatic example, sex trafficking, because it's just something that comes up all the time for me. Look, I don't love what people are doing to kids, but I can do my work to get clear around the issue so that I'm not being driven by my own triggers around it and my own trauma around it, so that I'm coming from a real space of power, a high state, a loving state. And so that's what clarity is. It's getting clear through your own stuff so that you can do what you're supposed to do. Right? So if before this call I was like, actually, am I clear with Rebecca, you know, and just really kind of going through, if I wasn't and owning anything, I wasn't clear about doing my work to get clear on it. Now, with that being said a lot of times, and I've worked with a lot of coaches that are so awesome, but they want to be clear now. I want to be clear now. Okay, so commit to being clear now. And again, come back to presence and allow it to be. Because when we start to force, we're just gonna. We're neurotic at that point. It's neurosis. So. So Being in a space of allowing yourself to not be clear while being committed to getting clear, in my opinion, works really great. It works great for me, you know, to go, okay, I'm not clear, and then really own it and start to accept it, allow it, be present with it, and then start to process through it. Right. So, yeah. So clarity. The reason why this is important in authenticity is because for me, I mean, again, you might define it differently, but authenticity is being really purely who you are. And when we're not clear, we're gunked up. We're gunked up with issues. We're gunked up with our trauma stories. We're gunked up with our drama. We're gunked up with what other people have told us about ourselves. We're gunked up with things that aren't really who we are, aren't really our true nature. So clarity is really key, actually, in my opinion. Again, I think this is so good.

Yeah.

And Legacy Training International does phenomenal training for coaches around how to stay clear, how to coach their clients to clarity. And really, it's about. Your brain can't be in two places at once. Your brain can't be in fear and accessing possibility at the same time. So what Cynthia is sharing with all of us is so important to know we can be present and in the practice of committing to finding possibility and our authentic truth in that moment, no matter what's happening. And then the triggers, the fear, it's inevitable, and we can just move through it faster. And then I also, as you're sharing about clarity, I mean, I know you dance, you do yoga. You also clear energy. And you have a special gift for us today, a meditation. And would you say that meditation also not only provides presence, but also clarity?

Yes. I mean, it can. I think that I know way too much about this stuff. And so then I start talking like I'm a scholar. But I mean, meditation, I think, is. There's so many different ways to meditate. And if somebody's really in a space of. Has not been looking at their trauma at all, and they just start meditating on their own, it can actually bring a lot of stuff up that, you know, they might not be prepared to look at. So I think that knowing yourself, knowing your practice, I think it's great to have a community if you're doing this kind of work or, you know, coupling it with a great coach or, you know, a therapist, if that's what you prefer, or, you know, or some, you know, doing. Doing some sort of complementary work with whatever comes up if you're new to meditation. So I just want to say that because that does happen where people can actually get like really depressed, you know, if they're not, you know, because it does it when you really start to look at yourself honestly, it does bring stuff up. So it's good. It's good to have some tools, it's good to have some ways to clear that. So I think meditation in itself is an awareness tool. It's a way to get yourself in a state of awareness of your inner world. And it also can help you be, create quietness. And then that quietness is where that authentic voice comes from. So. Yeah. Does that answer your question?

Yeah, I think it's great. And also, at least for me, provides an opportunity to clear the noise and some energy through breath. And I would love for you to take us through the meditation now that you prepared for us and before you gift us this gorgeous gift. I just want everyone to consider, you know, when Cynthia is saying we get to become more of who we are, I want you just to consider that today you can intend on being the you that you want to be. And it's a moment to moment process. It's not about perfection. It's not in end game that we ever arrive at, at least in my experience. So, Cynthia, what a gift you are. And thank you for preparing this meditation. And please take it away.

Okay.

All right.

So I'm going to have my eyes gently open during the meditation. Not because I want to watch you, but because I need to be aware of certain things. And so what I'm going to ask you, Rebecca, and whoever is watching, if you can, to close your eyes. It's not required to close your eyes in meditation, but if you can't close your eyes or you don't feel comfortable, to at least relax your eyes. So you have a gentle, soft gaze and you're able to soften your brain waves. So when we come into this space of meditation, we're tapping into the deeper parts of ourselves. Find your posture to be lengthened, yet soft. And find a sense of dignity in your posture as well as a sense of humility. And then begin to notice your breath, notice the texture of your breath, notice the temperature, notice the frequency of your breath, and notice the depths of your breath. And then become aware of your breath where it feels most alive, if that's in your nostrils or your throat, maybe your chest or somewhere else, wherever it feels the most alive. And keep your awareness there. Each time your mind wanders or thinks about something else, gently Come back to the breath without making it wrong. It's just what the mind does. Become aware of how your mind works. Continue to commit and come back to the present moment with your breath.

And now.

Bring your awareness to a part of your face that maybe you don't fully accept. Maybe a part of your face that you don't really want to look at, or part of your face that maybe you don't love. And if you have more than one, just pick one. Just stay present with that part of your face and allow that part of your face to be exactly as it is. In fact, embrace that part of your face exactly how it is. Continue to notice your breath. And now bring your awareness to your body. And just find a part of your body that you don't really like, part of your body that you don't fully accept. Bring your awareness to that part of your body. And again, notice what thoughts come up. And just come back to the awareness of this part of your body. Stay with it. See this part of your body with loving awareness. Allow it to be just as it is. And now bring your awareness to the cave of your heart, your heart center and all that lives there. And again, pick one thing that you don't want to look at. And look at it. Stay with it. Be present with it, breathe with it, and notice what comes up with you. And just come back to the present moment, not fixing, not changing, just fully allowing. Now come back to the awareness of your breath. All we're doing is breathing this breath that breathes us, that breathes all of us. We're present to this miracle that we already are. There's nothing to do. There's nowhere to go. We already are. We already are miraculous. And then, when you're ready, place your hands together gently and bring them to the center of your heart. And leave a little space in between your hands, honoring the cave of your heart. And then draw your chin towards your chest. Keep your eyes closed if they are. And then gently open your eyes and look with softness into the cave of your heart inside of your hands.

Nice.

And then just take that and just give this to the world.

So beautiful, Cynthia.

Thank you.

What a gift. Consider that Cynthia's formula of presence plus practice plus clarity equals authenticity. And what if whatever it is that's authentic in a moment, including you and how you're showing up is enough? And then we practice presence, practice clarity, and it gives us a way to be with that moment. Cynthia, thank you. How can people get a hold of you? You're a yogi. You're a coach, you're just a badass. How do they get in touch with you, Cynthia?

Yeah, so my website's a great way to get in touch with me. It's cynthiablanco.com. yeah, just go to my website and if you want to connect, I've got several ways on there that you can connect with me. So, yeah, so that's the best way. I'm also offering a free workbook if you sign up for my newsletter right now.

So.

And it's actually a really great workbook. You know, somebody told me they thought I was giving away too much, but I think it's good. But it has process for integrity, which is the first, really probably the most important element before we start to really expand our lives. So integrity. And then, you know, there's a forgiveness process in there. There's anxiety relieving, meditation. There's. Gosh, what else do I have in there? Oh, yeah. Confidence builder process. And I know a lot of people will say they're lacking confidence, so it's just this whole process take you through. And then also an abundance process. So it's all included if you join my newsletter right now.

And.

And it's kind of a cool thing if you use it. Oh, a discernment exercise. That. That one is really been helpful for me. I've been using it a lot. It takes you through and it's more than just like a pro and con checklist, but it's a whole. It's called a discern holistically. And so, like, if you're anything like me and you take your decisions way too seriously, this is a great way to look at it from all perspectives before you make a decision so you can feel like, you know what? I've looked at it in all the ways I'm doing this. I'm deciding on this. So that's in there. And it's been really helpful.

So anyway, very generous. Cynthia, thank you for being here in the hot seat. Final. Final thought for everyone.

Yeah, final thought for everyone. Trust yourself. Trust yourself.

And.

And connect. And connect. And connect with your life and the people in your life. And. Yeah. And honor yourself.

Beautiful. If you're interested in joining me in the healing as possible hot seat, just message me if you've got healing to share. If you've got a breakthrough that you are ready to have. Let's create some movement. We're already about to begin the second quarter of 2021.

Let's head into the second quarter of this year, authentic and open and trusting ourselves. And we will see you soon. Thanks, everyone.