Beat Holiday Stress: 3 Powerful Gift Giving Secrets

Foreign local. It's Big Papa in the morning mix. Order 2.5. And it's a mental Wellness Wednesday. Welcoming the unsilent woman, life coach Rebecca. Silence. Rebecca, how are you? Good morning.

Well, happy Thanksgiving week. I'm so grateful to be here. And if I'm doing the math correctly, I think you and I have been doing radio together for 14 years.

I, I, Wow. So that's more than half my life. That's incredible. That's.

I'm very thankful. That's how I am.

I am, I am as well. And I, I say it all the time. I'm very privileged to be able to do something that I love to do for a living, especially in my hometown, my entire career. And the reason I've been able to do that is because of the audience. Yeah, it's, it's because, you know, they've made an emotional investment in me. You know, whether it's radio, whether it's parties, whether it's wedding, whatever it is, social media, like, they've made an investment in me and they're the reason they support me and, you know, all the different things that I do and the reason I'm able to do what I love for a living is because of them. And I'm, and I know tomorrow could all go away, but, you know, it's been a hell of a ride and I'm eternally thankful for, for this, for this ride that I've been able to go on. For this chubby kid from Floyd.

Yeah, I'm right there with you. And nobody can take it away, right? The legacy, the magic, the impact. So thank you all for letting us serve you. And I reflect back the same sentiments as you, Gary. What a gift to be in our gifts, serving at the highest levels, our roots. Right. I am still on the radio in Utica because this is who I am. This is where I came from. So thank you all for having me.

So let's get to some, some holiday stuff. Thanksgiving, of course, is tomorrow, and then of course, it's Black Friday. And this is, this is something that we, we touch on every year. But I feel it's important to touch on because it comes up differently each year. And that is the pressure of gift giving for the holidays because it always feels like, you know, there's always pressure to, to do to one up not only yourself, but what you see and, you know, keeping them within budget. And a lot of times budgets go right out the window and everything goes on a card and let's just talk about that and trying to keep Yourself in check while still being able to feel comfortable with what you are giving this holiday season.

Right? Because if it is a burden on you, it is not a gift that you're giving. Even if it's some exquis present that this person wanted, if it's out of your depth and if it's a burden and you give it, you gave them your stress, you did not give them a gift. So let's just frame this conversation with a little context to hopefully have your ears perk up and your heart open a little bit. Because what we really want is from Thanksgiving to New Year's to be an experience that's a gift to you. An experience of you being the best of you, an experience of people that, that you chose to be with that make you better. Right? And it goes on and on. But this dark side of the holiday season, the dark side of Thanksgiving, the dark side of the holidays, the dark side of gift giving is us being someone who's betraying who we really are and what we need in the name of love, right? You betraying you in the name of love, spending money you don't have, biting your tongue about what your truth is, that would bring you closer to people. These are all ways that we betray ourselves, abandon ourselves. And you've heard me say this before, but if you're an adult who's feeling abandoned, it's a hundred percent because you abandon you. And something as simple as thinking about how you're going to give gifts is a massive way to step out of self betrayal and self abandonment and into a next level experience for you.

Because a lot of, a lot of it is self imposed.

Well, all of it. But we don't say that to give you ammunition to use against yourself, right? Don't use awareness against yourself. And it's self imposed in that you're deciding who you need to be for them. Is you bailing on you, you trying to fit in, you trying to do it right, you trying not to rock the bar boat, you trying not to make anybody upset. You giving all you've got to avoid in conflict and trying to give the right gift so this person will be happy with you. What a freaking mess. Give your family the gift of the real you showing up. Play yourself some My name is, My name is. And like, remember who you are right before you go to whoever's house, before you open your door to let people in yours. My name is like, who are you? Allow yourself to reintroduce yourself as the you that is living on your terms, the you that instead of committed to betraying you in the name of love to avoid conflict with them and to please them, the you that is not going to be anything less than purely authentic unapologetically this year. Now. Way freaking easier said than done.

Exactly. And if you want to learn more about Rebecca, there's all kinds of free content on her website, rebeccasilence.com the rest of this conversation is available right now@mix1025.com it's the unsilent woman life coach Rebecca. Silence on a mental wellness Wednesday. All right, so it's easier said than done.

Go ahead 100%. Right? So just even bringing awareness to the table this year, if that's the best you've got, I'm going to celebrate you and I'm going to be so proud of you and I'm going to be over the freaking moon. So let's not pretend like all of a sudden you're going to hear this segment and it's a cakewalk. Right? But it starts with an awareness and intention. You going into the holidays thinking about what would be the point behind me buying this gift? What would be the point behind me agreeing to go to this party? What would be the point behind me saying no to going to that party? Just start thinking about what's my intention behind why I want to do what I'm doing or why I did what I did or why I think I need to do. XYZ get really intentional. The second thing is journal about. Seriously, get out paper and a pen and journal about if I was honest with myself this holiday season, I would and just see what comes out. If I was honest with myself this holiday season, I would delight and surprise yourself. It's just you and the piece of paper in the walls. Admit it on paper first. If I was with myself, I would. There's no wrong answer. And it doesn't mean because you wrote it down you have to agree to it. But let's get you connected to the deeper, more honest you. We all have this healed self and almost never does the healed self get airtime. Right. We're so busy fight, flight, freeze. And especially when we come to holiday season, we revert to an expectation of fight, flight, freeze. How am I going to manage and cope? How to Am I going. How am I going to get through that is not enjoyable. So if I was honest with myself this holiday season, I would then the next thing is if I was buying gifts for people that were me giving them my heart, this gift is me giving my heart, not me trying to decide how they're going to be happy with me as long as possible because I gave them the gift, but because this is my heart, you know, I'm going to send this gift because it feels right. It feels like something I genuinely want to do. My cup run, it's over. When I think about this gift for this person, if I'm not there, I don't give the gift.

Right.

And sometimes the gift can be a voice text. Just want you to know why I'm grateful for you and why you're a gift in my life. Sometimes it could be an email or a text or a voice text. It doesn't have to be money. How many times a year do you and I, out of nowhere, just send each other a little note of gratitude?

This is a lot. That's fun. Absolutely right.

It's a lifelong relationship that costs nothing. But when I get a message like that from you, it means more to anything than anything you could send me. And you've sent me at Christmas time, Utica coffee care packages. So I feel like I'm home during the holidays. You sent me extraordinary gifts, but sometimes it's the littlest message and note of genuine gratitude and appreciation for somebody that makes a difference. So when it comes to the gifts, give people the gift of you being fully you and give them the gift of you genuinely giving something that matters to you because it's a reflection of you and what they mean.

And you froze so that I'm here. No, you, you literally, you froze just before your last sentence. So. So we're good. Okay. It's a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach, the unsilent woman, Rebecca. Silence. RebeccaSilence.com is is where you want to go and check out everything. Get her book. It's a great stocking stuffer. And everyone that's on my list, you're going to get a text message this year and you're welcome. Have a great Thanksgiving. We'll talk to you next week.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. And if you freeze, just take a deep breath and get back to you.