Collective Trauma and Division in the Us and What Each of Us Can Do About It.

Impact you in your day to day life and how do you deal with it? Right now in the United States, I believe our country is in trauma. And there are people out there like you watching right now that want to help, that want to do something about it, and are feeling powerless in the face of mass shootings, in the face of political madness and division, in the face of feeling like there's no hope and our country is in big trouble. And what I want to acknowledge is that you care. What I want to acknowledge is that you want to be a part of the solution. And I congratulate you and I celebrate you for that. I am today in this episode of the Healing Is Possible Experience, going to dive into what each of us can do to be a part of healing the collective trauma going on in the United States right now in 2022. This is the Healing Is Possible experience. I'm your host, Rebecca Silence. And this show is meant to take you on a journey of hope and healing even in seemingly impossible scenarios, even in seemingly unhealable situations and scenarios such as what we're facing going on in the United States right now in terms of so much separation, so much division, and so much very real uncertainty. So here's where I want to start today. This idea that, that no one's immune to trauma, I think is really, really important. All right? I believe that no one is immune to trauma, meaning we all experienced some level of heartache, some level of heartbreak, some level of not feeling seen, heard, or validated the way we wished we would have been in our childhoods. Trauma starts in our childhood and it looks different for everyone. It's not always severe neglect or abuse. It's not always even obvious what the trauma is or where it came from. But if we are stressed, if we are suffering, if we are wanting in relationships or in the face of any type of conflict to either push people away or to lash out or to just simply shut down. We're in a trauma response period, right? We are meant. I believe this with all my heart. You don't have to join me in this belief, but just consider what I'm saying and take what you want and leave the rest. But I really believe that we are meant to experience, experience a joy filled, blissful, happy, healthy, enjoyable life. I believe that is our right. I believe that is what each of us are meant to have. And when it doesn't happen in our childhood, we just decide unconsciously pain is the rule. We need to live by suffering, stress and the way we deal with heartbreak and unhealed trauma is to shut down, lash out, or push people away. And if you're doing any of those three things, what I am here to suggest to you is that you have some trauma that may be more alive and well and present in your life, in your body, in your world, than you may have realized. I work with people daily that have more trauma than they realized. Then the good news is that in our work together, we discover what it is, we connect the dots, and we begin to heal it faster than they ever imagined possible. We can look at the big picture of what's going on in the United States and what's going on in our collective energy field in this country. And we can decide that we're powerless and that there's nothing we can do. And we can let the pain and the fear take us over. But you're here because you don't want to let that happen. And you're here because you see there has to be a better way. And I am here today to tell you there is. And I am here today to suggest that there is no shame in recognizing where trauma is still running your life and running your show. And I am here to suggest that what you always have availability for and capacity for is in getting real about where trauma is still running the show, where trauma is still running your life and your experience, and where that's no longer useful for you. As adults, life doesn't have to be the experience that we grew up with, but as adults, many of us, and I would suggest a vast majority of us, in the United States and across the world. But today, I specifically want to address my fellow Americans, because I care so much about our country, I care so much about you, and I care so much about healing happening, starting right here, right now, in our nation. So what I know for sure is that healing is possible, and healing is definitely possible for the United States. And what I also know for sure is that if you find yourself stressed, if you find yourself suffering, if you find yourself experiencing a paralysis or a level of anger and volatility because you feel so powerless or you're just wanting to run away from it all, trauma is still present, and trauma is still in charge of you. And most adults aren't aware of how much they're still in trauma because they've done so much work. If you're here, you've tried it all, or you're on your way to trying it all, you've read the books, you've done the therapy, you've hired the coaches, you've done your version of trying it all. And again, I celebrate that. I commend you for that. I acknowledge that. And I'm so grateful that you care so much that you have been willing to become the best leader of your own life that you possibly can. But again, trauma is the reason why you're still not feeling how you want to feel or experiencing life the way you know you could or the way you want to. And there is a way to address it in a new way that will take everything you have already done, incorporate that, and begin to unlock what just still hasn't moved for you yet. It will begin to move the needle forward. So, so many of us have done our best to outwit, outsmart, outlast, and get beyond some of the childhood trauma that we know about, some of the childhood experiences that we don't want to repeat. And yet if you're not thriving energetically, emotionally, physically, spiritually, trauma is still present. What I don't want is for that to be something that is embarrassing or that you're in shame about. I want you to get empowered that there's another side, there's another side to your pain and your trauma that you are meant to and deserving to get beyond. So you know trauma is still present. Like I've said. I'm just going to give you a little checklist here. If they're stress, if they're suffering, if you're having trouble sleeping, if you're wanting to fight, if you're wanting to run, if you're wanting to shut down, if you're wanting to push people away, if you're in negative self talk, if you're in any type of self harming, self destructive behaviors, and this is just the beginning. But that's enough to get us started. Trauma is still there right now for this episode. I'm not as worried about getting to the root of where it came from as I am worried about you getting compassionate with yourself and willing to face the the truth that maybe you've been in more trauma than you've realized. The point of this episode isn't to re traumatize you or to reactivate you, or to send you into a downward spiral. It's quite the opposite. The point of this episode is to support you in taking your power back right here, right now, starting right here, right now. And I don't want it to be an acceptable norm anymore, that you live through anxiety or depression or stress in whatever flavors that shows up for you and just accept it. I want you to notice stress in whatever flavor it's showing up and I want you to go, oh, hello, stress. We are going to investigate you and you don't get to win. Hello, trauma. I'm going to investigate you and you don't get to win. See, what if trauma is access to the healing that you've been longing for? What if trauma is access to the highest, best, most powerful, most healed, most inspired version of you that you've been longing to become and longing to meet? I do believe that our country is in trouble and that we need more healed leaders, more emotionally healed leaders. And what you always get to do is face your stress, face your pain, face the real music that isn't the music you want to be listening to so you can turn the channel. So what do we do? How do we navigate this? We've got to get willing to understand that our inner child is still longing for healing when trauma is being reactivated. We've got to understand that we're still living the family dynamics and energies and patterns that we grew up in in different ways, in different costumes, with different characters that we've wanted to avoid or move past or move beyond if we're still stressed and suffering. So the big, most important thing I can say right now is more blame, more judgment, more pushing people away, including yourself, is not the answer. And I want us to consider a really big concept right now, together. What if nothing is wrong and what if nobody is wrong? I promise you, you being someone who sees yourself and other people as innocent, that's the beginning of being a part of healing the collective trauma going on. But if our inner child feels threatened or defensive, we can't see people as innocent. If our inner child is wanting to fight, fight. We can't be a part of healing the collective. If our inner child is just wanting to shut down and run away and avoid conflict altogether, we can't be a part of healing the collective. Now, it's never our job to heal anybody else, but it is our job to be as healed as we can be, I believe, so that we can paint that possibility as a real possibility for others and as a way to do our part. There is this great story called the Starfish Story that my first coach and mentor, Carol Reynolds used to read at the end of her vision seminar, a weekend long seminar on love and how to remove your blocks to love. And I love the Starfish story. Google it if you don't know about it. But basically it's a story of a grandfather and a grandchild on a beach and the grandchild's just throwing back starfish. And the grandfather says, you're never going to make a difference. Why are you wasting your time? And the grandchild looks up at the grandparent and says, hey, I just made a difference to that one and to that one and to that one. And what I want us to do is I want us today to consider how important, how critical in fact it is for you to begin the process of being your own healer, being your own lifeline, and being your own savior that is in your wheelhouse, that is your right, and that is something that you have control over. So I want to invite you to take some time today or this week to journal about where am I still stressed? Where am I still triggered? Meaning upset, derailed, not feeling at my best or the way I want to feel. Where are you still stressed, upset or triggered in your life? Let's take the country and the status of our country off the table for a minute. Just in general, in your world, in your home, in your workplace, in your relationship with you, where are you still stressed? Where are you still suffering? Where are you still upset? I've created a free masterclass that can walk you through for each one, each one, each single area that you identify when you journal of where you're stressed, suffering, upset, whatever it is for you triggered, I've created a masterclass that you can take yourself through one at a time. For each one of these things, I want to suggest that you are responsible for the energy that you bring into the world, for the energy that you bring into a room, for the energy that you carry, that you're living with. And if an energy isn't feeling right or good, if it's feeling off, that's because it is. And the world won't correct itself fast enough for you to finally feel safe and at peace. With you, you're going to have to find a way to learn how to be at peace and emotionally stable and solid with yourself in the face of anything. If you want to become a leader whose energy ripples out, makes an impact, and transforms possibility for those you love and the lives around you. And do not underestimate how important starting with you is. It is everything. It is absolutely every thing. And I will give you just a Reader's Digest version right now of what the three steps are in my Healing through Triggers and Trauma Release Process. Free masterclass that is linked to this video that you can start right here, right now and just know that it is a one at a time pathway to getting more and more healed, more and more happy, more and more free Taking your triggers on. And your triggers are a result of unhealed trauma every single time. If there wasn't life reminding you that you don't want to feel how you're feeling in a moment, or you don't want to experience a certain version of heartbreak again, there would be no trigger because it wouldn't bug you wherever you're bugging, wherever you're bugged, wherever you're issued up. As my dear friend and former mentor Heather Steele talks about, wherever you're issued up, there's trauma healing to do. This is good news. And we want to blame and we want to lash out and we want other people to be different so we can be set up to win. And I don't think that's the answer. And we want our country to get its shit together so we can feel safe. And we need to learn how to feel safe. We need to learn how to see every life in front of us as gorgeous and deserving and beautiful and innocent. And that's how we begin to make a difference. So let's give you an example. So say your trigger is you're not feeling safe. This has been a big one for me as a survivor of pretty severe abuse and neglect in my childhood, never really knowing when the abuse was coming. I spent a lifetime not feeling safe and not believing that I ever would be safe. And it progressed into so much evidence that I created to prove myself right, that I wasn't safe. And I want us to get. Not only do we prove our belief beliefs right, we prove our triggers right. Just consider that whatever it is that you're like, I can't stand it. I don't want it. This isn't okay for me. I need it to change. You're going to prove right, that you're powerless in the face of that trigger that is a result of unhealed past pain. I write in my book Coming Back to Life, that is on pre sale right now. It is available for pre sale right now. But one of the biggest messages that I write about in that book is how healed you are is 100% based on how healed your past is. And trauma is always the result of an unhealed past. You might have issues with authority, you might have issues with commitment, you might have issues with men, you might have issues with women, you might have issues with bratty little kids. Whatever it is, your unhealed trauma is showing up now to give you an opportunity to heal and transform and get beyond that trigger so that in the same situation, it doesn't hurt. Anymore. It doesn't feel threatening anymore. You've become emotionally clear so that you can lead with an open heart, with love, seeing people as innocent and being the best of you in this scenario. So here are the three steps you got to identify. First and foremost, journal. Where am I still upset? Where am I still stressed? Where am I still suffering? Where am I still experiencing trauma in my life today? And again, don't go into shame about that. Let's do something about it. Because you don't have to live in spite of your past or in spite of your trauma or tolerating even this much of your day or your life being spent, triggered and trying to manage that. So pick one. One at a time. And step one, you sit with it. There's nothing to do. Healing through trauma is about who you're being. That's it. That's all. It's not about doing more. It's not about doing different. It's not about a task list. It's about being the person who is willing to face, move through and conquer your version of stress so that it doesn't run your show anymore, so that it doesn't ruin your life, your relationships, or at the very least run your life and relationships anymore. So step one is you are going to be a person who sits with and breathes into the truth that you're triggered. I'm not feeling safe. I'm going to stop everything we're taught in elementary school, stop, drop and roll. If you're on fire emotionally, our country is on fire emotionally. When trauma gets reactivated and starts to take over, we got to stop, drop and roll because we're on fire. So step one is you just sit and breathe. Nothing to do. This is the beginning of you taking the power back. This is the beginning of you taking on healing so that this trigger and this trauma isn't an issue ever again. And it really is possible, it really is possible for one at a time your triggers to heal so that they don't activate you to the point where you're not someone you recognize when, or you're not someone you're proud of or you're someone who feels powerless in the situation. You sit and you breathe and then you start to feel the discomfort. That's step two. You be the person who lets yourself feel. Letting yourself feel doesn't mean you've given your power to the situation. Letting yourself feel means you're taking the power back. And I say this a lot, but I'm going to say it again here. Know the difference between what you're feeling about what's happening outside of you that you can't control or change, and the emotion going on in you that you need to feel and you need to express and you need to move through to get free and to take your power back. For the purposes of the practice of emotional healing, I just talk about five emotions. Anger, grief, fear, joy, excitement. So all you got to do after you've sat with it and breathed into it is connect to what's the emotion underneath the trigger that's uncomfortable, that I don't want to face or move through, but that I know needs to be felt for the trauma to be healed. Underneath every trigger, underneath every version of trauma, is a stuck emotion that never got felt. There is a stuck age and there is a stuck emotion. And when you feel into the stuck emotion, you begin the process of miraculous healing through the trauma. And the inner child gets to take a back seat and the adult gets to take the reins back. This is so powerful and so important. Step three is it's time to make a new commitment. Without meaning to, we get committed to our trauma. Without meaning to, we get committed to feeling like a circumstance is more powerful than we are. And I understand that right now it feels bigger than each of us as an individual what's going on in our country. But if we would rise up, if we would step into our own ability to emotionally heal through our trauma so that we can lead emotionally clear, if enough of us did that, things would start to change so fast. And even if it is just you, even if you feel alone, even if you feel like nobody else cares, nobody else is doing this work, so why should you please know that you doing the work to emotionally heal, to emotionally take on being someone who's unwilling for your past trauma to continue to bleed into your life today, being someone who is unwilling to let yourself fall into pain patterns that no longer serve you, being someone who is not going to let yourself shut down, push people away, judge, lash out, whatever it is that keeps you disconnected and separate from miracles, from healing, from possibility and from people. Please don't underestimate how important you are, how important your healing is, how important and significant and essential. You doing your work to get emotionally clear now more than ever is because it matters. You matter. And you may have not been seen, heard, validated, acknowledged, treated well in moments, growing up. And I want you to consider that that could still be haunting you and impacting you today. And that doesn't have to be the case. Every one of you watching, you're a leader Every one of you, watching you make a difference. Every one of you, watching you, taking on your triggers and your trauma. So for all of us, is a part of you healing the world and healing the United States of America. And we need healed leaders, please. We can get into debates, we can get into trying to dominate and persuade and convince other people that they're wrong and we're right. But I don't think that's the answer. I think each of us healing through our trauma so that we're not part of contributing without meaning to more of the collective trauma going in our country is what's needed. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here. I love you. I see you, I adore you. And I'm here to tell you the world needs you healed so you can make your difference. And healing is possible not just for me, but also for you and for all of us. And this may sound idealistic, but what if we go for it anyway? Thank you again. Please click on the link to the free Trigger and Trauma Release Method Masterclass. Share it with your family, with your friends, with your co workers, with your kids. Even if you need support, one on one, I am here. Reach out, apply to coach with me. But just know your healing matters. And it really is possible to get to the other side of our trauma. And when we heal our past from there, we have the capacity and the ability to create a clean and clear future for ourselves that shows other people that that is possible for them too. I love you so much. I will be seeing you soon. Thanks for watching.