Confession Tuesday 1-13-15 Son got Ipad from friend for birthday

Rebecca, Silence. She is in studio. She is not, in fact, in labor. Not as of yet.

Thank goodness. We needed you for one more day, at least one.

I'm here.

Okay. So if you could hold off on, you know, going into labor for the show until you leave. Because, I mean, I. I know you trust me with a lot of things.

Yeah.

But I don't think delivering your child.

Yeah. I don't handle situations that These kind of situations that.

Well.

Yeah. I mean, I've never freak out. I've never. I've never done it. But I'll.

I mean, I'm just saying I've never actually delivered a baby.

I think we're in the clear right now.

All right. Okay.

We're in the clear.

I'm just saying.

I'm not so patiently waiting. We're in the clear.

I'm just saying, like, I would if forced with it. I absolutely would.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I would have your bag.

I wish you could all see how big Gary Spears eyes are right now as he's looking at me.

Because I'm going. I'm going through the like, oh, my God, what if her water breaks right now? Oh, my God. What? You know, I'm going. I'm going. Like, you know, what's the quickest way.

Out of here at this moment in time?

Okay, we're good for the show.

Okay, good.

Okay. All right.

Like, it's any day now because.

Because, you know, what does everybody say in the movies when somebody goes into labor where they say, okay, we need hot water and towels. We have no towels. We got paper towels.

We got paper towels.

We got paper towels. And we got a jug of hot water right there. Yeah, we're fine.

We're good.

I don't know what to do with them. Yeah, but we have them.

We can always use the kiss T shirts. We can always use those if we have to.

Absolutely need to.

This is the last week of the pregnancy, so any second, but not right now.

Okay.

Yeah, well, we'll be able to do our show.

I mean, I definitely want to meet the baby, just not that way.

This is giving me a whole new lesson in patience.

Rebecca, you and I have been very close for a very long time. I don't want to get that close. I think that's the best way to put it. Deal.

I'm down.

It is a confession. Tuesday, Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com and how it works is you go to see it nykiss.com and you tell us a story. What's going on in Your world. And Rebecca handles it right here on the air and, you know, confidentially. And that's what we do. All right, so you ready?

Yeah.

Okay. Dear Rebecca, my husband and I both have jobs and we work really hard. Even so, we can't afford to buy our kids all the expensive things that they want. It's good in a way because it makes our kids less spoiled. But my 10 year old son has been begging me for an iPad, and I keep telling him no. His birthday was about a week ago or so. We threw a party for him and one of his friends got him the iPad. I couldn't believe it. My son was so happy. But I don't want to accept the gift. Should I let my son keep it? Will my son think less of me for not buying him such a fancy gift?

Wow, this is a really interesting email. Thank you so much for writing in number one. For all parents out there, I would invite you to consider the possibility that you can't get anything wrong. You are not powerful enough to screw up your children. And what I mean by that is, of course we're gonna make mistakes. Of course no parent is perfect. And you may, in hindsight, look back and think, why did I do this? What if I had done this instead? I'm not saying that parents aren't gonna make mistakes, but what I want you to get is that children, they take the events that happen in childhood and then they put meaning on it, okay? And the parent has no control over that. So if your son is thinking, I'm not important because he didn't get an iPad, that has nothing to do with you. The event is totally separate from the meaning that we put on it. And we all put meaning on the events in our lives. And that's actually what causes our suffering, not what happened. It's not the circumstance. So the parent isn't powerful enough to make the kid feel like they're not important or like they didn't matter or like they weren't good enough for the iPad. And then I want you to just ask yourself, is this ego talking? When you're wanting to give back the present, is there some kind of ego going on with you where you're thinking, I wish I was the one who was able to provide it, and until I can, my kid can't have it?

Maybe not ego, but more pride.

Same thing.

Yeah, same thing.

That's exactly what I mean by ego. Ego is pride. Ego is where it's all self absorption, it's all about me. And then I'm not realizing how that affects other people. Ego is pride. That's another great word to describe what I'm talking about.

Okay?

So, yeah, it's the pride, it's the ego. And your son is a powerful creator. Your son got what he wanted, put it out there into the universe, and bam. I think that's awesome. I would be talking to your child about how powerful this was. You asked for something, you made it happen without attachment to how it happened. How cool is that? Congratulations. And then if you're really having a different reason for not wanting him to have the iPad, explain it. I think this is an area where, when I'm working with families in my office, parents can get a lot stronger. A lot of parents just say, this is what's gonna happen without explaining why.

Okay.

And I like to tell parents and the kids, your parents are not ever gonna do anything that's not in your best interest. No parent is ever intentionally wanting to harm their child. They're doing the best they can. And what we do is we forget sometimes to explain why. You wanna educate your children, you wanna teach them about why you're doing what you're doing, why you're wanting certain things for them. Otherwise they're just not going to understand.

I just don't want to be on the hook for buying that, you know, that other kid a $300 gift for their birthday.

But that, see, that's the parents business, right?

Yeah, but you wouldn't be.

Even if someone tried to make you feel obligated, you're not. You're never obligated to do anything.

Oh, you got my son an iPad for his birthday. Here's a transformer.

So for any adult, I think this is really important for any adult who's wanting something more in their life, whether it's a relationship or a job or a house or whatever it is that you're wanting, maybe it's an iPad for yourself. Children are so good at manifesting, they're so good at creating because they're not attached to how it's gonna happen, and they're just innocently having faith that it's gonna work itself out. And we could learn a lot from that childlike innocence when we're trying to create our goals. My daughter had been begging my husband and I to have a baby. She was putting it on the grocery list. She was us often, when am I gonna have a sister? I really want a sister. She was specific that she wanted a sister. In the same year her father out in Denver had a baby and I got pregnant.

Wow.

She got two. She's a powerful creator. So that was the route I took with her. I was talking to her about how powerful she was and how she can have anything she wants. And this kid got an iPad. Well deserved. I would be giving him kudos. And then don't let that mean that you aren't a good parent. And of course you can't say yes to everything. And even if you could, why would you? Kids need to learn to earn certain things. I'm not saying everything should be handed on a silver platter, but if they have worked hard and earned it, allow it. We all should. We should all give ourselves permission to have those things.

Listener, the way I look at it is just be thankful that they weren't begging for twin brothers and sisters.

Right? There you go. And not to mention, you provided an awesome birthday for your kid. You had the party. In essence, you still did provide the iPad. You had the party, you held the space. And happy birthday. Birthday to your child soon.

There you go. That is Rebecca. Silence. Local life coach inspired results. Coach.com make sure you like them on Facebook as well. More on a Confession Tuesday coming up next here on KISS fm.