A 'Confession Tuesday' segment (YouTube/radio) where life coach Rebeccah Silence answers a listener's email about wanting to get engaged and have children after three years with her boyfriend. Rebeccah encourages honest, confident communication about future goals, suggests directly asking about the partner's vision for the future, recommends presenting oneself confidently, and gives a homework exercise: make a list of 50 reasons someone would fall in love with you. The tone is supportive and empowering.
And in studio, it's a confession Tuesday, which means local life coach Rebecca silence is in. What's up, girl?
Good morning. So, of course, inspired results coach.com is how you get ahold of Rebecca. And whether it be for work events or whether it be for school you want to have Rebecca come in and talk to, whether it be your class, the school, or your job or whatever, or if you want to do individual coaching, family coaching, children, relationships, Seriously inspired results coach gives you the full rundown of anything and everything that Rebecca does. And she. Whatever Rebecca does is amazing. Just not saying, but I'm saying. All right, so how we roll on a confession Tuesday is you go to cnykiss.com, you tell us what's going on in your world confidentially, and we handle it here on the air for you. Are you ready?
Five years strong.
Oh, my gosh.
Like next week or something. Is our five year confession Tuesday anniversary.
What's the five year anniversary?
I'm waiting for the Facebook memories to help me out with that.
What's five year?
I'm gonna look.
It's five years. Is it bubble wrap? I have to give you something made from bubble wrap.
We need to do a celebration.
So. Dear Rebecca, I've been with my boyfriend for three years and I'm extremely happy. But lately, all I see on Facebook are people getting engaged or having babies. Honestly, I'm a little jealous because that's what I want. How do I bring up the fact that I want to get married and have babies without scaring him off?
I love this.
Are you okay? Are you okay, Liz? No, Liz just got red. Started sweating.
I really love this question. So, Liz, we don't have to be afraid. We don't. No. And we don't have to get so red, Liz. Push ourselves in a direction that doesn't feel right for us. Right. So just because this is where the listener's life is headed doesn't mean that at a certain age or stage that this is what's supposed to happen for people. Okay? Sure. So if this. If you aren't feeling this life for you, don't worry.
That's okay.
That's totally cool. But here's the thing in relationship. I want people to be their most vulnerable and authentic selves. And if it scares your partner, then they're not good enough for you. So I don't want you afraid to speak up about what you want for your life. This is your life. And as far as I know, we only get one. So to settle or to cave or to Waste time pretending like what's important to you isn't, is you cheating yourself out of your best life. And in my experience, every relationship that hasn't worked out for me got me closer to. To my most incredible partner ever, my husband Mark, that I have right now. And with Mark, the very third date in, we both sat down, we brought our lists out of what we wanted in a partner. I told him what I was looking for. He told me what he was looking for.
Remember that? Neither of them knew that they were bringing the other one was bringing.
No, I just was like, so here's my list that's 11 pages long of what I'm looking for. And he sat there and he listened. And then he pulls his own list out of his own wallet. That's amazing. And he's like, oh, yeah, well, this is what I want.
You know the psych gag where you pull open the roll and you just going and going.
Mine was 11 pages, and his was a half a page.
Yeah.
But the point is, I was very prepared for him to look at me and say, oh, honey, you're cute, but let's just finish this meal and stay friends. Like, that's really what I thought might happen. And Mark has continually surprised me in his ability to. When I say, you know, this is what I'm looking for, step up to the plate or exceed my expectations. We have almost six years together of that. And so for the listener that wrote this email, you deserve that, too. You deserve a partner that exceeds your greatest expectations. And for you to not raise your own standards means that you're going to attract a partner that doesn't have very high standards either. And then my experience and my couples coaching is that if I have two people with low expectations, they're both very disappointed.
So the question is, so now, how.
Do you approach the.
How do you bring it up? Yeah, and obviously there's, you know, there's fear of scaring them off and having the relationship end. How do you.
Right. But I want you to be, you know, obviously real with your emotions. If it did end, it's probably gonna be sad. But then on the other side of that could be excitement towards the future, that you're not settling for anything less than.
Right.
So now bringing it up, you know, you could do it a couple of different ways. January is still. For today, anyway. The beginning of a new year, technically. And you can talk to your boyfriend about, hey, I've really been thinking a lot about our future together. I wanted to have a conversation with you about that. I want to know what your vision for our future together is. Can you fill me in on that and then listen? And then if they're like, oh, my God, I don't want to talk about that. If they pull a Liz just now, that's good information for you to have and it doesn't make them wrong. And I would start there just asking them. So I've been thinking a lot about our future. I want to know what you're thinking and share with you what I'm thinking. But if you approach it like a timid little mouse, you're not making future look very attractive.
Right.
So, you know, get in an outfit literally that you feel gorgeous in, that you feel confident in. Get yourself in a position where mentally, you know that you're gonna have this life with or without this partner. That's the challenge.
And if you do it right away, you won't waste money on Valentine's Day.
Well, that's true too.
Seriously though, that could be a factor for some people.
I want you thinking about it in terms of this is the. That I will have. Are you good enough for it?
Boom.
I like that.
I love it. Inspired results. Coach.com is the website. It is. Rebecca, silence. Absolutely amazing.
I have another homework assignment.
Go for it.
Okay. One of our fellow legacy coaches did this homework assignment when she was looking for her ideal partner and it worked really well for her. So the assignment is to make a list of 50 reasons why someone would fall in love with you. Oh, that's okay. Yep. Cuz you're a catch. So make a list. Liz, you too. Okay. Of 50 reasons why people would fall in love with you. And it isn't about arrogance.
No, she's serious, Liz.
I am. I know. I'm trying to think of 50 things. Uh huh. If you can do one, you can do two. If you can do three, you can do 50. So 50 reasons why you're a catch and why somebody should fall in love with you.
It's a confession. Tuesday with life coach Rebecca silence. Inspired results. Coach.com.
