Confession Tuesday 1- 9-14 "Depression"

Tuesday, we had lots of school closings, which means we had to postpone the return of confession Tuesday to today in studio, local life coach and one of my very good friends, Rebecca Silence. Good morning. How are you?

Good morning. I'm so well. I'm very happy to be back.

I legit feel like I haven't seen you in like three months.

I know. I think it's been three weeks.

Yeah. But, but it's, it's, it's far too long.

Absolutely.

Far too long.

Good to be back.

Absolutely. So here's, here's how it works. If this is your first foyer into, into confession Tuesday, Rebecca silence is a life coach. So we're, we're on a brand new day. Sometimes people schedule change. Explain what you do.

So I'm a life coach and what I'm doing, I do individual coaching, couples, families. I also do corporate trainings and events. But what I'm mostly focusing on is supporting people in creating action plans and so that they can actually get what they want. We focus on solutions. I'm not diagnosing people. We diagnose your patterns that keep you getting the same things over and over again and preventing you from getting the things that you're saying you want.

And whether it be one on one, whether it be family, whether it be your business and whether it be Rebecca and myself coming into your business or coming into your organization and doing confession Tuesday, what we're doing here in a live, intimate, you know, we can do that as well. Go to inspired results coach.com. i want to talk to you about depression.

Okay.

It's really big this time, especially, like right after the holidays. And in fact, I did a story on Monday that the Monday after New Year's is one of the most depressing days of the year because everyone has to go back to work and da da da da da. If you feel like you're in a funk, and especially because there's, like a lack of sunshine, it seems like there's a lot of people down in the dumps. What's. What are some good ways to kind of, number one, recognize that you're in a funk? Because a lot of times, you know, you just kind of go and you don't really notice it unless you're being called out on it, number one, that. And number two, what's a good way to kind of, you know, right the ship and the, you know, direct the ship in the right direction, I guess.

Is the best way to put it. This is a great conversation, and I think especially living here in Central New York. This seasonal depression is very real.

It really is.

It's dark early, and a lot of people are more isolated this time of the year. And so here are my thoughts on depression. And you may or may not agree that's okay. Take what you want and leave the rest. What I'm saying might not resonate with you, but depression to me just means you don't have your life set up well.

Okay.

It's that simple. I mean, if I am noticing that I'm not wanting to wake up in the morning, you asked kind of, how do you know if you're in a funk, if you're not wanting to start your day, if you're not excited about it, if you're not feeling like you're really looking forward to anything, if you're noticing that you're not communicating or you're just not finding fulfillment in your days, this does not have to stay true for you.

Okay, so if that's the case, where do you go, if you will? And it may not be like a physical place to go, but, like, maybe where do you go mentally? Or where do you search for, you know, something that'll help spark that? Because a lot of times I think that's where, you know, people have trouble getting excited about something or having that one thing to be look to, look forward to, but at the same time not do it in a codependent way.

Yeah. So look at you with all the life coach term.

I got verbiage. This is what happens when I don't get Rebecca silenced on the regular. All of a sudden, like, people start coming to me and asking me stuff, and I'm dropping words like co dependence and stuff.

I have to explain what he's saying. This is great. So codependence, what he's talking about here is that neediness for other people to help you feel fulfilled. I can't do it on my own. So think about it. If I'm not believing that I can be my own answers and make myself happy, then I'm putting all this dependence on other people. And in my experience, that can be really suffocating in your relationships. That's a lot of pressure to put on each other in a relationship feeling like, all right, you've gotta be a certain way for me to be okay, and I have to be a certain way for you to be okay. So that's codependence, and it causes a lot of suffering. And so I believe that most of what's going on with people, whether they're feeling anxious or depressed, or in a funk, however you want to describe it. They're thinking thoughts that are causing them to suffer, or they're thinking thoughts that a lot of times are really scaring them. For example, if I'm thinking that, yep. I'm never just gonna be able to create a relationship. I'm gonna be alone, or I'm always gonna have this crappy paycheck. I'm always gonna be broke. Nobody's gonna want me. Single mom forever. I want you to pay attention to what you're thinking. So the depression is a symptom of a much bigger issue. And I'm going to suggest that everybody start by really looking at and getting honest about the thoughts that they're thinking.

And what people don't realize is those thoughts. If you're thinking that you actually portray that, you kind of give off that vibe you radiate. You absolutely do.

That's going on with you energetically. Absolutely.

I'm gonna be a single mom forever. Well, not if you think like that.

Well, and so.

Because. But I've seen it in multiple. Multiple different situations.

Well. And what I want to say in response to what you're saying is that you don't actually have to be saying these words out loud. All you have to do is think it about yourself, and people pick up on your energy. Oh, yeah. So if I'm not feeling confident, I don't have to be telling everybody, oh, my God, I suck. I can't do anything right. But I'm probably not carrying myself in a way that makes me look confident. My head might be down, shoulders slumped, looking down, not making eye contact with people. People know. People know that something's off with you. You don't actually have to tell them. It's like when I go into businesses, I'll make a joke. So the people in this office that don't like you, they don't have to tell you. Right. Because, you know. Right. We don't have to actually say it.

Right.

People pick up on it. And so what I want is for people to get more in leadership and proactive about how am I creating what I'm experiencing. And this is the work I do. I'm making people look at their part in their own experience. Right. Because it's so easy to blame. This is the time of the year. My family, my husband, my job. These are the reasons why I feel this way.

Oh, it's real easy to blame everybody.

Else but yourself, but you're the common denominator. And everyone right now, this is a great time of year to empower yourself to think about. Alright, so what do I have set up right now and what do I want? So all you need is to learn how to set it up to get what you want.

What's a quick homework thing for people to start that process, start to turn it around a little bit.

So I want you to track your negative thoughts. I want you to actually write them down, what are the negative thoughts? And then switch it. And if you're not gonna write, do it this way. Just notice, alright, I'm not feeling right, there's some upset, there's something trigger going on with me, what's the thought? And then just think a thought that feels a little bit better. Like, oh, it's 6 o' clock in the morning, this sucks. Look out the window. Oh, I don't have to spend an hour shoveling my driveway today. Just think a thought that feels a little bit better. You can't go from A to Z. Yeah, baby steps, very baby steps. Just a little bit better at a time. And then you can think a thought that feels a little bit better than that, a little bit better than that. But the most important thing is to just be patient with yourself and accept that this is actually what's real for you right now that I'm thinking this. If you keep rejecting what's real for you, you're just doing more damage to your own self worth.

Local Life coach Rebecca silence inspired results coach.com coaching circles on Tuesdays again details on that inspired results coach.com coi kiss.com if you'd like to tell us your story as far as what's going on in your world. More of a confession Tuesday on a Thursday coming up next here on KISS fm.