A short televised/youtube segment (Confession Tuesday) in which local life coach Rebeccah Silence and another speaker give practical tips for managing Thanksgiving and holiday-family stress. Key advice includes: remember you are always at choice (arrive/leave on your terms), be proactive and honest about boundaries, drop judgment/expectations and view relatives as either loving or crying out for love, refuse drama ("drama is by invitation only") using simple one-liners, and don’t take things personally. The segment also promotes a local coaching circle and provides contact/submit info.
Confession Tuesday. Local life coach Rebecca silence is in studio. Inspired results. Coach.com I'm really glad that you're here today, especially because this is the beginning of for a lot of people, you know, a lot of people, you know, most wonderful time of the year for a lot of people. They dreaded this time of the year because this means forced facetime with family, which isn't necessarily a good thing. So we went really long on the last segment. So if you could just give us some hints, maybe some quick tips to kind of help people get through Thanksgiving. Absolutely. If that's the best way to put it, because, yeah, sure.
And then also next Tuesday night is the final coaching circle of the year and the final coaching circle for a while. 7:00 clock at the office in Whitesboro. You can find details@inspiredresultscoach.com and that's all about managing holiday stress next Tuesday night. But here's some tips for you.
So if you all of a sudd to have some issues this week, Tuesday's gonna be perfect for you.
Yeah, absolutely. Join me. I'd love to see you. It's the last one of the year, but here's some hot tips just right away. Number one, remember that you are always at choice, so you can't get forced into anything. You can set yourself up to actually be able to leave when you want to leave, arrive when you want to arrive. What I encourage people to do is to be really, really proactive and honest up front. And then make sure you don't set it with yourself.
Other people.
Well, it starts with yourself.
Okay.
And then with other people. And then don't set it up to be stranded anywhere. Don't set it up to, like, not have your own ride to be stuck, because that's not gonna work. Make sure that you're set up to where if you get uncomfortable, you have an opportunity to leave. But here's the second tip. Go into the situation. Seeing people as innocent and focusing on what you want sounds real simple, really difficult for people to do because we have our judgments. This is the way this person is. This is way that person is. This is what's happened the past 10 years in a row. I want you to consider dropping that story and consider that people are either loving or they are crying out for love all the time.
True or false, People have a shorter fuse with family.
They're more sensitive. Their triggers pop up a lot faster and a lot louder with the people closest to them because often they have more expectations of what they're expecting from that person.
Okay, fair enough.
And so you gotta drop the expectations and see people as doing the best they can with the tools they have. And the way I like to think about it is people are either loving or they're crying out for love. And sometimes cries for love don't look all that attractive. Sometimes people do really goofy stuff when they are crying out for love. And so if you can just see them that way so that you don't get hooked in and engage, you're gonna have a lot easier time. My third tip is that drama is like invitation only. It's optional, right? Drama is by invitation only. So people are gonna give you a lot of opportunities to engage in drama. And you don't have to open the invitation. You don't have to accept the dance. You can do a different dance and a couple of one liners that you can use. Number one, what works really, really well.
Pass the stuffing.
You can even just say I love you. They're starting to get stressed, hot and bothered. You can just say I love you and it's not condescending. Just tell them you love them because remember they're crying out for love. Another really, really good one is thanks for somebody's giving you their opinion about how you should be handling your life and what you should be doing different. You could say thanks for sharing and when and if I want your opinion on this, I'll be sure to let you know. And that's it. One liners. You don't have to engage in a whole heated conversation. Remember the drama's by invitation only.
Right?
And then you're never stuck. You are always at choice so you don't have to get into any knock down drag out dramas. And my final tip is to please just treat people the way you would want to be treated. Again, this is golden rule simple but treat people the way you would want to be treated. You can't control how they show up but you can absolutely control how you show up.
Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com I'm so happy for you.
Thanks.
And the fam and I'm glad everything worked out the way it has.
Thank you. And I hope everybody has a wonderful Thanksgiving and make sure that you are setting yourself up for success with this holiday.
And that's what Bana's mom's doing by not having her do the green beans. Exactly.
That's honesty. It's proactive. And then banna, you don't have to take that personally. I guess that's. That's the bonus. Tip number five is Please don't take anything personally.
Right.
Because it's not about you. Even if they're telling you it's about you. It's not.
Nope.
Their stuff's their stuff. No, don't take it on.
No. It's about your green bean casserole. All right, Sid, I'm totally breaking your chops.
Maybe you're not, but it's okay.
Banna knows not to take things personally. Right?
It's all right.
I don't want. I don't even want to make the green bean gas roll. It's always a stress thing. Anyway, Local.
Local life coach, Rebecca Silence Confess day. If you want to submit a story for next week, c nykiss.com and, of course, inspired results. Coach.com.
