Confession Tuesday 12-1-15 CHILD TOUCHING THEMSELVES IN PUBLIC

Right now I'd like to welcome local life coach Rebecca silence. Inspired results Coach.com it is a confession Tuesday. Good morning.

Good morning.

All right, so I want to. First off, I want to talk about what's going on with. I just got, I just got this email about this awesome weekend thing that you have going on. Talk to me about this.

So the inspired results women's weekend will be happening again, January 15th, 16th and 17th.

Wow, that's right around the corner.

It is. And I've had so many people asking, Rebecca, when are you gonna do another retreat? So we are just gonna go for it. And amazingly, it's already filling very fast. So if you are interested, make sure you get in touch with me right away. This is an opportunity for women to actually work with me for three entire days. A coaching session is 50 minutes. And this is. You get to actually be with me for an entire weekend. And then with the support of like minded women, actually leave something behind at this house permanently that is running your life. So it could be a fear of int. It could be poor communication skills. It could be just kind of always looking over your shoulder, scared you're gonna take something on and then miracles happen. And literally by the end of the weekend, this thing that used to run your life will no longer.

It's kinda like a. It's kinda like a slumber party.

Yeah.

But you know, obviously it's fun, but you make it even better because you're bettering yourself as you're going with the.

Support of like minded women. We have a personal chef, we have a massage therapist. The home is gorgeous. This is an opportunity to just get to know yourself.

Can we hear this right now? I know this is ridiculous.

And this is really my gift to the community. My life changed in seminars. This is an opportunity for you to just fully take a weekend, for you to get to know yourself better and to create a support system in the same time.

And for people who are listening to this and being like, yeah, I want to be a part of this, how they go about finding you and reserving their spot in the wall.

So even if you're thinking, wow, this sounds good, get in touch with me just to talk about it. Just to talk about the opportunity and what you would want to get. You may have a health issue, you may have money block, you may have issues with your children or a spouse or wanting a relationship or a career. Whatever it is, take it on. And what you do is you go to inspiredresultscoach.com and you can email or call me There is an event link that has all of this information laid out for you as well if you want to check it out on the website. But get in touch with me to have a conversation and figure out how to set you up so in 2016, whatever it is that you're sick of can be gone.

Inspired Results Coach.com is the website Local life coach Rebecca Silence Confession Tuesday alright, so here's how we roll here on a Tuesday. Way it works is people go to CNYQs.com and they submit their questions, their concerns, whatever's going on in their world. And we handle it here on the air confidentially. And in doing so, we not only help that one person, but we help so many other people as well.

Absolutely. You are not alone with whatever you're going through. And I can't wait to hear this week's question.

All right, so here we go. We were talking about, talking about children a little earlier. Dear Rebecca, My wife and I have a five year old daughter and I think she's just discovering things about her body right now. She does something we call pushing. Basically whenever there are guests around, she reaches down there and pushes on herself. I don't know where she learned this or why, but it's only when people are over visiting my husband. Parents came over for Thanksgiving and we're worried because we think we saw her doing it. We tell her not to do it in public, but then she gets mad and pouts. I'm not really sure how to scold her even if I should, depending because of what it is. Is it wrong for me and my husband to punish our daughter for this? Is she just young and discovering things about herself?

Way to be brave and just put this question out there. First of all, thank you so much for writing in.

It's such a, it's, I mean, it's, it's awkward. It's, it's a, it's something that nobody really. Absolutely. Just like, just like, you know, little kids who can't seem to keep their hands off, you know, people's bums, you know, and themselves. Like, stuff like that with little kids happens and there's, you know, how do you handle something like that?

Yeah. So first of all, it's really important not to teach children to be ashamed of their bodies. Right, Right. So this is a very delicate situation.

Absolutely.

You've got this smirk on your face.

I do. Because every little boy, you know, always has their hand on it and like it's gonna fall off or like it's gonna go away if they let it go.

They're proud and they should be, right?

So I'm proud, I'm not walking around with my hand on it. Come on.

Well, at one point you were, that's okay.

Listen, listen, that was 10 minutes ago, Rebecca.

So in all seriousness, it's really important.

It was.

Kids need to love and appreciate their bodies and at some point, so this is important to understand, right? We're born loving and appreciating our bodies and then something happens and we learn, wait a minute, it's not the right size, it's not the right shape. I'm, you know, I have bad hair, I have bad skin, whatever, all of that is Learned. So a 5 year old is right on the verge of seeing still loving and respecting themselves, but understanding that other people have body issues. So body issues are learned and then of course, they can be unlearned. But you want to be really careful how you talk about your body around your kids. And it isn't just women. I've heard fathers bad mouthing themselves and saying, oh, I'm too fat, oh I need to go on a diet, oh, I need to lose weight. All of that really does impact kids because they think, wait a minute, I put my parents on a pedestal and if something's wrong with their body, something's going to be wrong with mine, right? So that's the first thing to just understand. It's really important to be careful about how you talk about your body, how you even look in the mirror. If you're grimacing every time you look in the mirror and your child is right next to you brushing their teeth, they notice that. And a lot of times we don't think that they're paying attention to those subtle little things, but they absolutely are. They're like a sponge taking it all in. So right now, hopefully this five year old isn't there yet in terms of being ashamed of her body, but your reaction to how she treats her body is definitely going to influence her. So I would, number one, be having a conversation after making sure that I'm not badmouthing myself around my child. I would be talking to your daughter about the importance of her body being private and special for her, making sure that she understands that no one should ever be touching those private areas but her. And even when she's touching them, to be really careful about that, but making sure she understands if anybody is ever asking to touch her or touches her, that she says something.

Liz, remember that for a Thursday. Yeah, you're welcome.

Well, actually it's serious, right? Nobody can touch you without your permission.

Exactly.

But we don't necessarily teach kids this that early. And one of the biggest things that I say to children is, especially if somebody tells you not to tell, you make sure you tell. Because that happens where they'll say, don't tell. Usually it's actually someone the child knows. So they might just go along with it because they know and trust this person. But make sure your child knows that these areas of their body are private for them. Nobody, I don't care who they are, should be touching it. If anybody even asks to make sure that they tell the parent. So that's the first thing. The second thing is I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I would make it kind of light and fun and make sure you're talking to your child about, you know, anytime you're touching yourself like this, you want it to be private, you want it to be in your room. It's okay to explore your body, it's okay to learn your body, but this is something that you want to do behind closed doors. It's actually not socially acceptable or okay to be touching your private parts out in public.

Right, right.

You know, and you don't want to scare them by saying like, you what? This is actually something that people get arrested for, but you want to let them know that this is something that they want to do in the privacy of their own room, behind closed doors and then.

Cause, you know, that's a conversation all itself. Did you know you could get a Weston?

Well, but a lot of times kids don't understand. We actually had a slumber party for my 11 year old a couple of weeks ago and there was a girl at midnight who prank called a boy. And all the girls were like, she prank called this. And I explained to her, honey, actually this isn't a prank call because you have caller id. You're leaving a message for this kid and he thinks, you know, you think that he doesn't know who you are. But caller ID just popped up. So we did have to have a conversation about that. That is actually harassment. That, that can't happen in my house. That if the police found out, they can actually, you know, punish you for that and write you a ticket. But these conversations are so important about your bodies, about sexuality, about making sure that you're using technology appropr. Because that's a whole other area where kids can go down a road where there's no turning back from. Because it's all a legal document, it's all documented. Facebook, social media, the phones, all of these things are there for the kids to explore and they're not necessarily educated. So for the parents who are educating your kids, thank you. That's awesome. For the parents who haven't had conversations yet, my coaching is just don't be afraid to do it. It's okay to have these conversations. It's important. And then remember, your kids are following you. So more important than what you say is they're watching every move you make. So if you're using social media in a way that isn't necessarily the best, or if you're doing things with your body, even looking in the mirror with disgust, your kids are watching you. So be really careful about that and just support them in celebrating and honoring their bodies. Their bodies are perfect and beautiful and they should explore them eventually. We all do. So don't make that a scary bad thing. Just teach and then let them know it's okay behind closed doors. And then I would encourage every parent to have the conversation about no one ever, whoever they are, it doesn't matter. Should touch your private areas or even ask about it and make sure that they know that they can come to you if that happens.

Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com hit her up there. You can also like her on Facebook and on Twitter as well. Good stuff as always.

Thank you so much. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. And make sure you do get in touch with me if you're interested in the women's weekend. There's only 12 spots.

Oh.

This is an intimate group. It's a select crowd, and I would love to have you be a part of it.

That is fantastic.

This is my invitation to you. InspiredResultsCoach.com go to events and check it out.

Local life coach Rebecca silence on a confession Tuesday here on Kiss fm.