A short transcript of a December 2014 radio/YouTube segment titled "Confession Tuesday 12-23-14 HOLIDAY DEPRESSION" featuring local life coach Rebeccah (Rebecca) Silence. The hosts and Silence discuss holiday depression—why the holidays amplify pre-existing issues, allowing and naming difficult emotions, taking leadership of one’s life, raising one’s sense of self-worth, and practical steps (journaling, vision boards, coaching). The guest also shares a personal announcement (expecting a baby in 2015 named Seneca) and promotes her coaching practice (Inspired Results).
She is expecting a baby in 2015 and says the baby's name is Seneca.
Inspired Results (local life coach; mentions website/facebook/newsletters).
It is the final confession Tuesday of the year.
Yes.
And not that we're excited about that. No, no.
We just sounded like we were super pumped.
It's just wild moving into another year.
Yeah.
I was just saying last night at a family dinner, I'm having a baby in 2015. It feels like, you know, like the Jetsons. Like space age, you know, it's 2015.
I know.
You're gonna need. Is it a boy or a girl?
Girl.
Okay.
Her name is Seneca.
Okay. Because.
Ooh, I like that that's her name.
Because if it was a boy, you're going to have to name him Elroy.
Oh, no, no, I like that.
Seneca.
I was a few weeks away as.
As opposed to her daughter Judy.
Yeah, that's Jeffrey.
Yes, yes, I know, I know.
She'll applause for a second.
No, I wasn't. I knew. I knew it was.
Yeah. It's the last show of the year.
All right, so I want to talk about Christmas. It's either one of two things. Okay. And we've talked. We've talked before about dealing with family at the. During the holidays and whatnot. And if you. If that's something you want to explore, it's online@cnykiss.com. because we've covered it a couple times.
Yep.
I want to talk to you about depression.
Okay.
Because holiday time, it's either people are super duper happy and they're really into the spirit of the season, or. Or for a lot of people, it is like people are down in the dumps and, you know, you know, the song goes. It's the. It's the most wonderful time of the year. It's. It either is or it really, really isn't. And there's a lot of people where it's like that for. So for people that aren't feeling it, for people that really, this is the worst time of the year. What are some ways to kind of help get through this? Because people, especially around Christmas time and whatnot, it. It feels a lot different. It feels a lot worse than nor.
Well, yeah. And the truth is the holidays are bringing up issues that have been there the whole time that maybe haven't been addressed. That's what I want people to recognize. Right. The holidays aren't creating problems that weren't already there.
Right.
It's just really loud during the holidays, looking at your relationship status, your bank account, your family situation. But it's not like all of a sudden December comes around and these things just happen. It's been going on. And so the good news is you have an opportun to deal with and start to change. Anything that you've got going on in your life that you've outgrown or that you're feeling like doesn't actually work for you. So I want people to take on leadership of their lives. Take on leadership of your own experience. And then here's the deal. If there are areas in your life where you're suffering, allow yourself to feel that so that you can change it. If I'm ignoring the truth about what's happening, then I can't do anything about it. And then a lot of times it has to get worse before it can get better. So it's okay if you're having sadness come up, anger come up, fear come up during the holiday season, that's totally okay. But then get that. There is so much that you have control over moving into the next year, and right now that can help. But you're not stuck. Adults are not victims, period. You know, And I'm just gonna be really bold and say that we're not victims except in our minds. So you're not stuck.
Stuck.
There's a lot you can do. And then whatever it is that you're looking for that you're wanting different, here's the truth. If you really want it, get committed. And that means being willing to do whatever it takes to go get it.
Now, here's the. Here. Here's the. I don't want to say a pushback, but at the same time, you're saying it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be, you know, vulnerable and whatever. But at the same time, a lot of people feel like they can't because they have to be around family and friends. And you can't be, you know, the. The quote, unquote, Debbie Downer in, you know, at. At the family Christmas table. You know what I'm saying? Because then that is that you don't want to be known as. That a lot of people don't want to be, you know, have the focus on them because of that negative stuff. So I think that kind of plays into it too. So it's hard. It's hard to, you know, take ownership of the feelings that you have. But you can't do it in front of, you know, 30 people at grandma's house.
Why not? See, I say be yourself wherever you go because it radiates off you like the sun anyway. You could try to put on your game face, and people are gonna feel your funky energy. So you might as well, instead of being fake, just be yourself. And then what I'm saying is feel your feelings. Whether you're more comfortable doing it alone or with people is your decision. I don't care either way. I'm saying just feel your feelings, but then also focus on what your goals are and come up with some action steps to get you closer to them. If you're just gonna wallow in your without looking at what can I do to get closer to what I want, yeah, it's a downward spiral. But if you're feeling your feelings, knowing what you want instead of what you have, and then taking action towards those goals, you're gonna start to feel a lot better. Don't give up on your goals ever.
I think, I think a lot of it is a lot of people don't realize what it is or why they are having the Debbie Downer stuff. So is there a way to kind of help put a, you know, put a thumb on. Okay, this is why. Because some people may not even know. Yeah.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
Absolutely. I think we have what we think we deserve, period.
Say that again.
I think we have what we think we deserve, period. So if you aren't happy with where you are, what that tells me is maybe we want to raise the bar that you have set for yourself in terms of what you're worth. And everyone I've ever had come through my office has a self inflicted glass ceiling. And that's it. That's all they think they can have. And some people's self inflicted glass ceiling is higher than others. But I still want us to shatter that ceiling so that we have access to anything and everything. Because in my experience, no one is better than anyone else. And we all have access to jobs, money, great relationships, cars, houses, children, whatever it is that you're looking for. But if you don't know you're worth it, then you won't be able to chase after it. So I encourage people to journal, brainstorm, make a vision board of your dream life, your ideal world, your utopia, what it is that you would have if you could have anything. If money wasn't an obstacle, time wasn't an obstacle, no obstacles, what would you go for? And then slowly get yourself to a point where you get your worth that by getting a coach or a mentor or a therapist, someone, some type of support system that'll encourage you to go for it. What I love about the radiance community of women that I've got is these women. They've done a lot of seminar work with me. And they encourage each other to go after their dreams. They think they're crazy not to go after their dreams.
Nice.
Instead of, oh, really? You think you're worth that? Oh, really? You're gonna, I don't know, you don't maybe want to take that risk? And a lot of us have those naysayers, right? I mean, no one told me it was a good idea to open Inspired Results in Utica, New York. Everyone told me I was nuts. And then that was okay. I was gonna do it anyway.
Right.
Right. So be willing to go after your dreams regardless of what people think. Be willing to break through your self inflicted glass ceiling of what you think you're worth and go for what you want, even if you've never seen it done before. I mean, I think that's the kicker. A lot of us have fear about going for something because we've never seen anyone actually get it. Do it anyway. Be the trailblazer in your family. Be the trailblazer in your friend network of people who does it, even if you've never seen it done before.
Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com make sure you like her on Facebook. Make sure you sign up for the other newsletters, which are really, really good as well. And, you know, doing corporate stuff and in private stuff as well.
And those sad feelings, I just want to say one more thing about those darker emotions. They're not bad. They're here to tell you there's something off in your life, that you're worth more than what you're creating. But then you're the one who has to love yourself more to go after what you want. The world can't do it for you.
It's like the ghost of Christmas present. Look at me go.
I love that.
Look at that.
Here we go. That's what's up. It is a confession Tuesday, Local life coach Rebecca Silence in studio here on Kiss fm.
