A short recorded conversation (Confession Tuesday) featuring life coach Rebeccah/Rebecca Silence and a co-speaker discussing how to recover from a difficult holiday experience. They recommend journaling to release negative feelings, writing a future-letter to next Christmas as if the desired outcome already occurred, listing what to leave behind from the past year, and committing to concrete emotional and behavioral changes (seek coaching/therapy, set intentions). The piece mixes practical exercises with encouraging pep-talk and includes a brief promotion of Rebecca’s coaching services and an upcoming March leadership seminar.
It is a confession Tuesday with life coach Rebecca Silence in studio again. Good morning.
Good morning.
Okay, so holidays absolutely can be incredible. And holidays can absolutely be heart wrenching and debilitating for some people if, you know, things don't necessarily go the way that they want or, you know, things haven't. We talked about last week how the holidays put a big microphone, not a big microphone, but a big magnifying glass on, you know, the good, bad, and the ugly. When it comes to pretty much everything in your life, they put a real big magnifying glass on that kind of stuff. I want to talk about people who didn't necessarily have a good situation, a good experience this holiday season and how. What's a good way to kind of rebound from it and set themselves up to move on, get better and. And set themselves up better not only for next holiday season, but also just in life in general. Because if. If things are bad on Christmas, there's got to be underlying things that are, you know, workable and, you know, things to improve on. Does that make sense?
Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, here's the thing. If your holiday sucked, the first thing I would want you to do is just maybe journal about what it was that didn't work for you. Kind of get raw and real and nasty and get it out of your body and onto the page. And then, you know, you can't kind of BS your way to gratitude. So if you're not in the place where you can find the gifts in whatever happened yet, my coaching is that's okay and don't rush yourself. You don't wanna, like, pretend that things were better than they actually were if you can't get there emotionally. So my point is get raw and real, journal about it. And then let's just not whine and be committed to doom and gloom and eeyore energy around whatever it is that occurred. So get real first. And then the second thing that I would invite you to do is write a letter to yourself for next Christmas.
Dear me, in your letter, last Christmas I gave you my heart.
Don't put anything about last Christmas, the.
Very next day, or this Christmas gave it away. No. Okay.
This is something that I actually want people who had a darker holiday season to try write to yourself next year year like exactly what you want to happen happened. So don't put anything about this year or what didn't work or what you're afraid would happen again next holiday. I want you to write to yourself like, the holidays went off perfectly for next 2017 holidays. So, dear Rebecca, I'm so grateful that you woke up with this great guy and these kids and that your family came over and however it is that you would have wanted it to go. I want you to write to yourself like it already happened. So one of the things that I think is my secret sauce to goal setting and intention setting is literally acting like it already happened before it happened.
Okay?
So you've gotta be the person who does what it takes to get the goal before you got the goal.
All right?
Right. So I want you to talk to yourself like, number one, what you want is possible for you if you're just committed to. Yeah, right. It's never gonna happen. You will prove yourself right about that. And so be careful what you want to be right about. And just remember, if you can't see it, you won't create it. So be thinking about, all right, this is what I wish happened. This is what I wanted. And now let me be somebody that puts it out there to the universe like, of course it's going to happen. And write yourself a letter like, of course it happened, while you've already taken a minute to get real and get all the negative energy out onto a page. But I don't want you whiny, and I don't want you pretending, and I don't want you. You know, you can have a little victim vent, you can have a little pity party, but give yourself like 5 minutes or 10 minutes and then be looking at all right, now that I know what I didn't like, and now that I've written a letter to my future self congratulating myself for this great experience that I wish had happened this year, but I'm committed to having happen next year, then you know, my coaching is just get honest with yourself about, all right, what do I need to leave behind in 2016? Like, what are the things that went down that I don't wanna engage in or participate in or be a part of ever again?
Okay?
And you can take separate sheets of paper, and on each paper just write, I'm leaving behind X, I'm leaving behind Y. I'm leaving behind Z. You know, these are the things, like agreeing to things that caused me stress. I leave behind in 2016, not taking good enough care of myself because I only got 30 minutes of sleep because I was taking care of everybod else. I'm leaving it behind in 2016. You know, whatever the pieces are, be gentle with yourself, honest with yourself, and let it go. You made it, it's done. The holidays are over, and I Think of the holidays as this big, giant squeeze. There's a personal growth guru, his name was Wayne Dyer, and he talked about how people were like oranges and life squeezes us and juice comes out. And when you squeeze an orange and you know, I didn't put the juice in the orange. It was already there.
Right?
And when life squeezes us, it's not like this person or this situation put the juice in me. It was already there. So you can look at this holiday season as a big squeeze to clean out the gook that doesn't serve you anymore, or you can just stay in darkness and be Eeyore and feel sorry for yourself and decide this is the way it is forever. But my coaching is, why would you wanna do that? Get up. You're alive. Enjoy that. Appreciate it. I can't even remember last Christmas because I was still so sick. And I, for that reason, made this Christmas even though nothing went according to plan at all. We had family drama, we had illness. We had literally every piece of how I thought the weekend would go went a different way. But I was just like, I'm healthy. I remember everything that's happening. This is great.
You know, let's make the best of it. It's. As long as we're together, we'll make it work.
And. And don't pretend, but just focus on what do I want to feel like.
Right?
And then go create that. So it's not all bad. It's just maybe a huge growing year. If your holidays didn't go well, it is. This could be the last year that the holidays went however they went. You can transform it.
It is life coach Rebecca. Silence. Inspired results coach.com. if you would like family interaction or individual or couple, or even a talk at a business or an organization. And of course, the leadership seminar, which is going to be coming up in March as well, for the ladies. Absolutely. Go to inspired results coach.com here on a confession.
And don't let your life happen to you. Go find a coach or a therapist or a mentor and go create it however you want to.
