This is a transcript of a radio-style YouTube clip ("Confession Tuesday 12-8-15 KIDS HEARD US BOOM BOOM") featuring host and guest Rebeccah Silence, a local life coach. Rebeccah promotes her Inspired Results women’s weekend (limited spots, toolkit for 2016 goal-setting) and responds to a listener confession about their child overhearing parents being intimate. Her advice emphasizes that the damaging element is the parents' story about the event rather than the event itself, reframing it as a teachable moment about love, intimacy, and age-appropriate conversations, while also suggesting increased discretion in future.
There's a confession. Tuesday, local life coach Rebecca silence is in studio. Good morning.
Good morning.
So we're getting ready, obviously we're getting ready for the holidays. But one of the big things that you have going on outside of doing all of these corporate and school talks, which if you have an organization or your workplace wants Rebecca to come in and do some team building or anti bullying talking or whatever the case may be, you can go to inspired results coach.com and get the details there. But you have big retreat coming up.
I do. Our Inspired Results women's weekend is half full, so it will probably fill very, very soon. We've got 12 spots available total for women to come. And what I want for people is for you to come with a specific intention in mind, knowing what result that you want, no matter what, in 2016. And then I provide you with a toolkit to get out of your own way and actually make this a reality for your life instead of just a dream or a wish or a hope.
Well, let's talk about exactly what this is because this legit is a all women's weekend away. It's kinda like a. It's kinda like a slumber party with a mission. It really is. Yeah, it's true. Sure.
Right. We live together. You get to live with me for three days. And then I can't tell you how many of my clients have said, I wish you could, like come home with me. So that these things that we're talking about in coaching I can actually do in my house. Cause it's real easy in the coaching office to make sense of the tools and strategies. And then when you're faced with reality, it gets easier. Easy to forget them. So you get to actually live with me for three days to integrate the information so that these changes actually become consistent in your new default setting. So again, yeah, you're coming to this house with me. There's a massage therapist, there's a chef, there's a hot tub, and then we get to work. So that you get tools and strategies to design your life exactly the way you want it for 2016. And then beyond my life is most of the changes in seminars. Right? Seminars are where my life changed permanently. And the coaching is awesome. It's a great benefit. But the seminars are where magic happens. You're in a group setting, you're publicly stating, all right, this is what I'm going after. There's a new accountability. And then you get these tools and strategies that you'll never forget.
And being around you and running into people that know you that, like, they will come up to me and said, I have gone on the retreat and it changed my life. I've heard that from multiple people.
It will. You'll never be the same. And there should be a disclaimer that you won't be able to forget the new information. You won't be able to go back to your old unconscious default tools and strategies anymore because you're gonna get these new tools that you can use for the rest of your life. And yet all of the lives of the women that went last year have changed forever. This is actually like a service project for me. I want to provide this space to women so that they can have what they've been hoping for and not have to go to bed at night hoping anymore. But they can wake up in the morning knowing they've got.
And for details, you can go to inspired results coach.com or you can like Rebecca on Facebook as well, and you'll be able to get all the details. So it is a confession Tuesday. And what we do here every Tuesday is we handle listener suggestions and things that are going on in listeners lives, and we handle it confidentially. And people are very reluctant at times because they always feel like, oh, my gosh, people are gonna know it's me. The fact is no one really, but so many people can relate to whatever the situation is that you're helping so many more people by submitting your story.
Yeah. You being brave enough to say, okay, give me some insight on this that I can't see opens more people's eyes than you can ever comprehend.
Okay, so the way it works is you go to cnykiss.com and you listen to. There's all kinds of past segments that are up. There's a backlog and whatnot, and you submit your story and as well. All right, so are you ready for this week's. This week's question? It's very simple. It's very quick, to the point. Dear Rebecca, my daughter heard us do the wild thing. I think I scarred her for life.
Okay, so you are not alone, right, with this having happened to you and your family. Thank you. Thank you for this question. Yeah, it's happened to all of us, me included. And you know what it's. It's part of?
How do you recover from that?
So here's the thing, right? Like, no matter what the situation is, it is never the event that's the problem. It's the story you're telling yourself about the event that's the problem. So if you're Saying, huh? So this is true for anything, right? Not just this listener's particular issue, which we can all relate to. Right? But it's not what happened that's the problem. It's the story about I scarred my child for life. That is what is causing the person to suffer. Right?
Okay.
The story that we tell ourselves about what's going on that causes the suffering. It's never the situation. Right. The situation itself is totally neutral. It's not good, it's not bad, it's not right, it's not wrong. So here's one thing I do want you to consider. Listener who wrote this email and anybody else who's been in this situation, you are actually modeling love and intimacy and connection. This isn't the way you probably want to go about that, but this. This is actually you modeling that the relationship is solid and that actually will give your child a sense of security. So you can be telling yourself that, oh, my gosh, I've scarred them for life, or you can be telling yourself, all right, well, at least we're together and solid, and my child knows that. And then what an awesome opportunity for a great conversation that we all need to have with our kids eventually anyway, right? About love and sex and intimacy. You can now take this as an opportunity to use it as basically a teachable moment. Why not?
Okay.
Why not? And then you get to answer your child's questions, and then remember, again, the situation is neutral. So the child is going to react to your reaction about what happened more, even necessarily, than what they heard. And this isn't them, like, walking in on you. This is just hearing that. Wait a minute, what's that? I'm old enough to understand what that is. And then you can ask your child, okay, do you have any questions about this? And have a conversation.
The advice is amazing. And just listening to Rebecca try to, you know, tiptoe the line as far as what's going on.
Yeah, but we've all been here, and this is actually something. You're living in the same house with your kids. They're gonna eventually be old enough to understand what's going on. And even if they don't hear you, they're going to know, all right? This happens. And they're going to ask questions.
Nope, nope, nope. Not at all.
No.
Not one bite? No. No. Not one bit.
No. You know, it's.
No, I was. Listen, it was the Virgin Mary and Grandma B. That was it.
Sure, sure. I met Grandma B. She's awesome. She has some fun in her life.
Did Rebecca just call My mom, a hussy did that desire.
I did not. I love your mom. I love your mom. And we all deserve to have fun in our lives, right? Yes, the kids are fun. So here's the thing. Your kids are talking about sex with their friends, and they're getting an education about maybe not the reality from their friends. So what an awesome opportunity for you to actually have an educational conversation and teach them what you want them to know about sex instead of what they're hearing in the locker room or on the bus or on FaceTime with their friends.
That's such an awkward thing to bring up just from. Just from a parental kind of, you know, that situation. That's kind of.
But don't apologize for it. The parents. You didn't scar your kids for life. Don't apologize for having a loving and intimate relationship with your spouse. Actually own that. Be proud of it. It happens. And then maybe think about how you could be more discreet next time. That's all I do, right?
Local life coach Rebecca silence. Inspired results, coach.com go to cnykiss.com you can submit your story, your question for next week. And also if you're interested in the women's weekend. And ladies, I absolutely recommend that you do do this if you. If you are able to.
It's filling up. So please get in touch with me. Even if you're just thinking about it, get in touch with me and we can. We can talk.
Inspired results, coach.com it is Rebecca Silence on a Confession Tuesday here on KISS fm.
