Confession Tuesday 3-18-14 "POST DRUGGED"

And it is a confession. Tuesday, local life coach Rebecca silence is in studio. The website inspired results. Coach.com is. Is how we're rolling. And if you have a business, if you have, you know, if you're a manager and you want to have some team building, it doesn't matter what the. You know what the subject matter is. Rebecca will come in. You're looking at me like, with, like, puppy dog eyes. You really.

I'm just pouring love into you. You had a rough weekend.

Well, I did have a rough weekend.

And it's your birthday. I'm just loving you. I'm just.

I'm not used to. I'm not used to you looking at me like this. It's. I mean, you know, that's why I, you know, I slept all day. It's funny. I'm. I'm redoing my birthday today. I know, because yesterday I slept and ate, and my mom was like, that's okay, because that's exactly how you spent the day you were born. So. So I'm used to it.

Sweet Grandma B.

But yeah, and, you know, I don't want to, like, dwell on it. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time, it happened. And, you know, if anything, you know, let's use it as a. As a teaching tool for. For people, because apparently.

And for yourself.

Well. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Wow. Did I. Did. I learned some stuff this weekend, but at the same time, you know, I don't want to dwell on it, but at the same time, I want people to learn. And I realized after I put it on Facebook that the amount of times it's happened and to the. Unfortunately, it seems like everyone knows someone who's had it happen to. So let's just concentrate on. Okay. Unfortunately, something like this happened, and, you know, what we're talking about is having someone put something in your drink and, you know, waking up to it and, you know, moving on past that because there's, you know, there's the physical aspect, but there's also, like the, you know, the mental aspect of it. Of it as well. So not necessarily talking about me, but just in general, what's a good way to, you know, kind of get past something like that? And, you know, if your friend is, you know, having something like that happen, what's a good way to kind of help that?

Well, I think the first thing. And this actually happened to me, so not on stage while I was playing for a bunch of people, but it happened to me once, and it is scary. I get that. But I want Everybody to think about how people aren't going to treat you better than you treat yourself. So to me, it's an opportunity to wake up to whatever message is in my face, whether you want to call it a sign or a message. I look at at moments like this as either a message or a problem or a crisis.

Right?

So it starts on the message level. And a lot of times people miss the message. So if we miss the message, it gets louder. You get a problem, you miss the problem level, it gets louder and you get a crisis. So I'm looking at it from those angles. Like, number one, how is this representative of how I treat myself? And what's the message for me here?

Right.

You know, I think I've told the story about how I drove through my sweet husband's garage door before he was my husband, when I worked for a school district, the week before I called you about confession Tuesday. And that was a message to me, like, oh, I just didn't actually press the button. The garage door didn't go up. Oh, dear. And it was a message, where am I going?

Right.

I'm not paying attention. Where am I going? I was in a job that I wasn't fulfilled at. I knew I wanted to pursue the private practice. So that was a message for me. I quit the job, like, the next day. Talked to you. We were on the radio, like the week after that. So a lot of times people don't get the message. I've had plenty of messages that I missed, Right. And it can be anything from a broken limb to winding up in the hospital to a speeding ticket, who knows? And I just want everyone to think about the fact that what if we live in a generous universe, right? What if nobody's out to get us? And I know that's a little bit controversial and not necessarily going to resonate with people, but what's the alternative? What if everything that happens in my experience is a wake up call opportunity for me to grow and be happy?

You know, I'm a full believer, and you may disagree with me, but I'm a full believer of everything happening for a reason and people coming into your life for a reason. And. Da, da.

And.

And as much as this past weekend was awful on so many levels, you know, there was a reason why and, you know, whether it be wake up calls or, you know, a way to, you know, reevaluate the way I do some things and this, that and the other. Absolutely. Because nothing will, you know, snap you out of it than something really big like that. And sometimes it doesn't have to be something big. It could be something small.

And that was the next thing I was gonna say. You know, I have heard people say that you don't have to hit bottom to wake up. You can actually pick our rock bottom and address things before the crash. And, you know, another thing I'm thinking as I'm looking at you is just how great your support system is.

Oh, my. I have so many people to like. I've reached out and I'm still. Cause I don't know a lot of the stuff. So I'm learning as I go. So, you know, you know, every day I'm hearing new stories and, you know, different people's points of view and about what happened, you know, so, like, I'm finding things out on a daily basis. So.

Yeah. And what a beautiful thing. And what if we don't have to have a crisis to identify how much support we already have around us? And that happens a lot. That happens a lot. Where now that there's this big situation, I pay attention to the people who care about me. And you, you know, you have a lot of people that care about you. So I was just so grateful I. I didn't go out this year. I did parade and then I was mom for the day.

Right.

And then I see that this is happening. And, you know, it's not something that's uncommon, unfortunately. And I know that being in Utica, New York, we are in a smaller town, family type community.

I mean, Holland Patton, you know, that stuff not supposed to happen around people.

Leave their doors open in their cars. People don't lock their front doors here, you know, and things can still happen, but I don't want people out there in the world in a panic, afraid, looking over their shoulder, waiting for something bad to happen.

Right. And part of. I don't want to make this about me. I don't, you know, but part of me being me is kind of that bubble is, you know, I don't worry about things. You know, I don't. You know, granted, I'm careful about, you know, things, but I don't overly obsess about things. And that's kind of the yin and yang of right now, is because of the initial, you know, I don't want to say pushback, but the initial reaction is, the natural reaction is to be overly cautious because. Because of this. But that's just kind of trying to find that. So if something like this happens, what's the best way to kind of move forward?

So my hottest tip is to do the best you can to stay in what you have control over, focusing on what you have to actually do to take care of yourself in the aftermath. Because I know from my own personal experiences with this that it can be worse after the fact. Right. Replaying the situation in your mind, wondering what I could have done different? How did I cause this? Well, you know what? You didn't. You're not that powerful that you can cause these things, but you can pay attention to where you haven't been in the best self care, where you haven't been paying attention attention to what's going on around you and, you know, focus on what you have control over and how you can do a better job of self care emotionally, physically and spiritually. What are the situations I'm putting myself in? I was at Bellamy elementary school last week talking to the little kids and one of them raised their hand and said, you know what, Mr. Becca, it's never a good idea to be by yourself in a dark alley, to be walking home by yourself because when you're alone, you don't have your friends there to help you. And it's true. Yeah, it's true. And if kids can learn that in third and fourth grade, awesome. But sometimes it takes a little wake up call for us adults to remember to question whether or not they're fully grounded and paying attention to taking great care of themselves.

Absolutely.

And don't tolerate crap either. I mean, that's the other piece of this. Any relationship that you're in that you feel like you're settling, any aspect of your life that you feel like you're settling, you're doing damage to your soul, in your spirit when you tolerate these things. So really pay attention to what you could take out of your life that would alleviate a lot of stress.

Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com what's going on in your world? We'll take care of it confidentially and for free here on the air. Email bigpapnykiss.com and of course you can enter online at@cnykiss.com as well. More with Rebecca silence on a confession Tuesday next here on KISS fm.