A studio interview with local life coach Rebeccah Silence (InspiredResultsCoach.com). Early remarks describe her corporate/team-building work and a promoted coaching circle on dream analysis. The main segment responds to a listener confession about taking a higher-paying out-of-state job that could end a year-long cohabiting relationship. Rebecca advises negotiating for a mutual win, coming to the table clear about each person’s needs, avoiding concessions that create long-term resentment, and viewing such a choice as a relationship ‘temp check’ (growth together vs. growing apart). Promotional details (website, social links, coaching circle time/place/fee) and closing remarks are included.
And it is a confession. Tuesday, local life coach Rebecca Silence is in studio. Inspiredresultscoach.com doing lots of corporate stuff, doing lots of stuff with businesses and schools, and I mean, you're really busy with that kind of stuff. And I'll tell you what, businesses especially are really seeing the benefits of having you come in with team building and things of that nature. Right.
Thanks. Yeah, I mean, it's just a different version of family coaching when you go into the businesses, but we're working on making sure that the employees have the tools they need to be successful. Communication skills, conflict resolution skills. I do a lot of teaching about empowered leadership. And then companies can decrease turnover and have much higher productivity.
You know, it's funny, you know, you said you treat corporate stuff and workplace training as a family. It really is like a family because with most careers, you spend more time with your co workers, unfortunately, than you do with. With your actual family. So the same kind of things, you know, end up coming up. So that's. That's a lot of the similarities.
And you also bring your family dynamics to work. So somebody's got someone that reminds them of their mother, their brother, their sister, their. Their parents. Right. So, I mean, we can deal with all that stuff. And we do.
And tonight, coaching circle.
Yeah. We're going to do dream analysis tonight.
Oh, wow.
In the coaching circle.
Oh, my.
That's what we're doing. So Y7 to 8. It's 15 bucks. 156 Main street in Whitesboro. And I'd love to have you.
Yeah. Inspired results. Coach.com is the website for details. You can also like them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter. Dream analysis, Really? I.
You have to come to find out all the dirt on that.
Oh, my gosh. Wow.
Join us.
I'm. I'm. I'm the king of, like, having a really good dream or a really bad dream and, like, knowing it was a really good dream or a really bad dream, but not remembering any of it. Yeah, that's. And wow. Okay.
You can have a little notebook by your bed so that the little pieces you do remember you can jot down. Keep a little dream dictionary or diary. A dream diary. He's looking at me like I have five heads.
I'm just. I'm just. I would never use it. It would just sit there.
Well, for those of you out there who want to remember your dreams, you could have a dream diary.
Okay.
Not Gary.
He's like, what I have. There's so. There's so many inappropriate jokes right now. So here's how it work? Cnykiss.com oh, those crazy dreams. And I would end up putting it in between my mattresses. That's where. That's where I keep that. Go to cnykiss.com and. And tell us what's going on in your world. You ready?
Yeah.
All right, here we go. Dear Big Papa and Rebecca. My girlfriend and I have been living together for a year, and I was just offered a job in another state for a lot in caps, a lot more than I'm making now. But my girlfriend refuses to leave. She has a great career here and says it feels like home. This job offers a big deal to me. It would make a huge difference in my life. But if I took it, it looks like I'd have to break up with my girlfriend. Should I take the job and end things?
Wow. This is definitely an issue that happens in all relationships where someone knows that they need and it doesn't work for the other one or vice versa. Right. So this is going to happen in all relationships. Before you decide to just break up with her, I would encourage you to think about the fact that, what if there's a way to find a solution that works for both of you? Right. Maybe we're not there yet, and it might not seem as though that's possible, but I believe that there's always a win, win, win that can be created. Right. A win for each person.
It may not be easy, especially initially.
Right.
But if you two can come together and. And be on the same team and, you know, have the common goal.
Exactly. Yep. If you can decide that no matter what we're going to negotiate as long as it takes to find something that works for both of us, then you'll be able to do that. And in all relationships, there is a beginning, there is a middle, and there's an end. So every single relationship that you're ever gonna have is gonna go through that birth and death process. It can also go through reinvention where you're recreating things. So maybe the way things were are no longer gonna happen.
Right.
And now we're trying something new. You know, my husband and I have gone through so many rebirths and recreations in a little time together. Yes. Gary knows this very well. No, with both of us being entrepreneurs, having businesses, there have been a lot of changes. And so in the relationship, either you're growing together or you're growing apart. And so this might be just a great, what I would call a temp check to just see where you two are in the relationship. Are you still in a place where you're growing together? Are you in a place where you've outgrown each other and it's time to move on? You won't know until you've done your best to try to find that win for both of you.
Right. It sounds. It sounds like he's trying to be like, okay, I have this job. You're coming with me. Right. It sounds. It sounds like that's how he's kind of present. I. You know, I'm putting words in their mouth, but it kind of. That's the vibe that it seems like.
He'S doing well or he's wanting her to come with him, which. Which is great. So, you know, I'd be saying to her, I really want you in my life. I really want to keep this relationship going, and I really want this job. So what I suggest is that both people come to the table knowing exactly what they want. That's how you start this negotiation process.
Right.
Where so often one person will come to the table just hoping the other one gives them the answer, and that's always the mess.
Yeah.
So you have to come to the table knowing exactly what you want and be committed, like you said earlier, to that goal for this to work. And just know that if you're ever agreeing to something because you think it'll make things easier, but it's not actually something you want.
Nope.
It will bite you later.
Oh, awful.
If one person is in a lose as opposed to a win, then the whole relationship loses. Right. So the only way for the relationship to be in a win is for both people to be in a win. One person's in a lose, it's going to poison the relationship.
I'm really surprised you haven't suggested writing a list yet, because I know you and your list, and seriously, I'm waiting for you to drop the. Okay, here's what you need to do. Here's your hot tip. You need to write a list.
Well, in this case, I don't necessarily know if you do need to do that. I mean, when I said, you come to the table already knowing what you want, if you're not sure of what you want, writing it out is not a bad idea. But I kind of skipped that step here because I wanted this to come to the table, knowing what they need. I'm a big fan of writing things out. You're absolutely right about that because it helps you get clear.
Right.
And it helps you see where maybe you're being irrational. I've written some things down, and then oh, wait a minute. Is that really what I want to stand for? And it's not rational. It doesn't make sense. So it's a great way to kind of call yourself out to see where you stand when you write it out.
Local life coach Rebecca silence. Inspired results, coach.com here on a confession Tuesday. If you are. If you are a business, if you are a school, if you are a family, individual Visit. Inspired results, Coach.com and let Rebecca and you have some awesome coaches in your circle, which is absolutely awesome. And let them help. Yeah, they absolutely will. Inspired results, coach.com like them on Facebook, add them on Twitter, and. And you're good to go.
So the homework here is to come to the table knowing exactly what it is that you want and be willing to. To find that mutual solution. And I know firsthand, when I first came to New York, I was not planning on coming here. I said, no way do I want to be back in upstate New York. I've done my time there, and it ended up being such a beautiful decision. I love being here now.
I love you use the phrase done my time like it's.
That's literally how I felt.
Like it's a prison sentence.
But that's how I felt for a long time. And I was gone for 10 years. And then until it became a win for me to come back, I wasn't going to. And now I wouldn't be anywhere else. I'm so happy here. But it took being willing to have that conversation, being willing to change my mind about some things, and I will never regret coming back.
Inspired results, Coach.com, local life coach Rebecca Silence on a confession Tuesday. Awesome job as always.
Thanks, everyone. Have a great week.
All right, we're gonna break. Come back. Cast members from Bring it on the Musical in studio coming up here on KISS fm.
