Confession Tuesday 4-14-15 Returning from Cancer pt1

And ladies and gentlemen, welcoming back to the show the one, the only Rebecca. Silence. Confession Tuesday. Hi.

Good morning.

So glad to have you back.

Welcome back.

Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

I missed you.

I have missed you.

It's. And it's. It's weird. I don't want to say it's weird, but it's one of those. You know, you and I have been friends since high school, and it was a. You know, I planned on taking some time off because I'm having a baby, and then, oh, yeah, by the way, I have the super duper rare cancer that we have to get taken care of, too.

Yeah.

So it was like a. It was a wham, bam, double whammy, thank you, ma', am.

Kind of a deal kind of thing.

So, you know, when someone has a baby, that's one thing, but then you add in, like, they started to treat the cancer. You had the baby. Baby's good.

Baby is phenomenal.

And how old is baby now?

She's 11 weeks.

Oh, my God.

And she's perfect. Seneca. Rosemary.

That is beautiful name.

And the reason that Rebecca found out about the cancer is because you had gotten pregnant. That was the whole thing. Right.

The pregnancy hormones kind of made this mole grow and go crazy. It's called a nodular tumor. And if I didn't have that pregnancy hormone there, who knows how long I would have had the cancer. And it was stage three the whole time. I just didn't know that until the baby was a month old. They couldn't do the further testing to determine staging until the baby had been born. So it was a little bit of a rollercoaster the past three months. But I'm so grateful. I've had several surgeries, and they've gotten all of the cancer that they can actually find, which is really good news. And I don't like to say I kicked cancer's butt, but I did love the cancer through this, and now it's gone, and I'm very grateful for that. And then there is gonna be some more treatment, but for the most part, we are out of the woods, and I'm so grateful.

That's. That's fantastic. Fantastic. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Congratulations. It's. And of course, you know, this is about helping everyone else. And of course, you can tell us your story confidentially@cnykiss.com, rebecca Silence is a life coach and inspired results. Coach.com is the website there. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna talk about your story. Okay. Because a Lot of people have, you know, people have pulled me aside and been curious and whatnot. Unfortunately, everyone seems to know someone who has been affected by it. Whether you know, you know, someone they love or someone that they know, Some sort of cancer, some way, shape or form. Having gone through that, you know, what can you say about. Whether it be your experience or maybe something you could say to someone or someone's family who just got the news within the last couple weeks. By the way, you have cancer now. This is what we do. Obviously, it's an emotional thing, not only for you, but your family, you know, your husband, your daughter, and everyone that loves you. It's. It really is an emotional thing. What can you talk about going through that and ways that may make it a little easier or, you know, something?

Yeah. The first thing I want to say is that anyone who has cancer or knows someone with cancer, it's not their fault. And where my mind went when this first came down the road and I got the diagnosis was, what did I do wrong? I went to this place of how could I have stopped this? What did I do to cause it?

And very quickly, you started blaming your time in Vegas, didn't you? Well, that's what you did, among other things.

But I really did. I started to take an inventory of choices I've made, foods I'd eaten, ways I had abused or treated my body in the past. And what I want people to understand is that there is control. Once you know the diagnosis that you have, but the actual diagnosis and the actual dis. Ease in your body, I just want to suggest it's not your fault. And in the past, I've really believed that illness was caused by thoughts you were thinking, by things you were doing. And I've had a crash course in the opposite direction with this cancer diagnosis. I think that, you know, it's that higher power, something bigger than us. And I just also want to suggest to you that anything happening in your life, whether it's cancer or, you know, any quote, unquote, what someone might think of as a crisis going on in your life, what if it's a gift to me? I took this cancer as an opportunity to learn to love myself more. I didn't play the I'm being punished, I'm bad card for more than a very short period of time, because that isn't going to cause me any peace or healing. And so what I did was I really looked at what do I have control over here? And I kid you not, every night I said to myself, all right, cancer thank you for being here, teaching me whatever it is that you wanted to teach me. I don't need you anymore. I just kept saying, I don't need you anymore. We can be done now.

And I love you. And I guarantee it wasn't in that tone of voice. I guarantee there were nights where it wasn't in that tone of voice. And it's a struggle, but for the most part, it's an absolute struggle.

I got in my body and I just got peaceful and I literally thanked the cancer and said, I don't need you anymore. And I don't know what that did or if it actually made the cancer go away. But what I know is that anyone with this disease, do whatever you can to have the least amount of stress in your life while you're going through it, because that's only going to exacerbate the problem. And I also have to thank all of my friends and family. My house has been like Grand Central Station. People have been coming over, bringing food, flowers, just wanting to check on me. And you know, it makes me cry. I'm so grateful. And I didn't know how loved and supported I was before this. And not only just having a baby, but having the cancer too at the same time just showed me how important support is. So anyone going through this, please use your support system. Don't be alone. I'll be honest that some of my family was horrified when I initially just came out with the news. I was very transparent about it and told people because I didn't want to be harboring this secret that would just be more cancer in my life.

Sure.

And I've been asking myself with everything I do, is this more cancer in your life or is this going to make your life better? I'm trying to do a cancer cleanse, across the board relationships. Anything that's going on that feels cancerous to me, I am very easily saying no to now. I don't even have to think twice about it. But when I'm doing that, the support just came out of the woodwork. And so I also want to suggest to people, don't be afraid to be open and honest about what you're going through and lean on on people, because the truth is, you would do it for those that you love. Let them be there for you. And this is a big lesson I learned. I had known all of this on an intellectual level before. It all makes sense. But physiologically I got like, you can't do this by yourself. It was very difficult for me because I'm used To being the one in charge. You know, my poor husband, he was a rock star and continues to be in this entire situation. But I'm like, shouting orders from the bed. I can't get up and I can't move. I had so many surgeries. I was in bed for a long time, and for a while, I was trying to still be in control. It doesn't work. And Mark just looked at me and he said, I love you. Please let me make these decisions. You need to just get better. And I'm so grateful that he said that to me and that I kind of surrendered to letting go of as much control as I had. And then I was able to focus on the doctor's appointments and getting sleep. And this baby, it was just such a gift to have this little bright light.

She's fighting cancer, and she has a newborn all at the same time.

Yeah, she just was such a bright light through it all. And we've been able to continue breastfeeding, and we've been able to maintain that mother baby relationship just fine. She's not fazed by any of it. So I think there's just so much to be grateful for here. And when you're asking me, kind of, what can I share? I would encourage people to find gratitude. And I know it might sound crazy, but there is so much to be grateful for. For me. I don't have to do chemo and radiation. My rare cancer, that won't work for. So I have to do immunotherapies. I have to do some other treatment plans, and I'm grateful that I don't have to do chemo and radiation. I'm grateful that the cancer didn't spread to the baby because it had already metastasized, which means that it very easily could have spread to the placenta. It didn't. I'm grateful that I didn't know it was stage three until the baby was a month old, because I can't imagine being pregnant knowing that it was stage three. There's just so much to be grateful for. And I have more people in my life that are actually unconditionally there for me than I could have ever comprehended.

Well, the fact is, is, you know, on a personal level, before you started, inspired results. And I was there, you know, pretty much day one with you on that.

You were.

Since. Since you started that and since you started doing this with me. Over those years, you have positively affected and changed lives of thousands of people. And when it was found out that you had cancer, you know, people were Upset, you know, people miss you. People want you to be better, you know, for you and the amazing person that you are. And I'm sure on some level, for selfish reasons, because they need your help, dammit. So get, you know, get cancer out of you and come back and help me with my drama with my boyfriend, for crying out loud. But the fact is. But the fact is. Congratulations. I know it's not done. I know you still have some stuff to do. We were talking about stuff that in June, preventative stuff that you have to do in June, later on and whatnot, and how you have to, you know, go to Buffalo on the regular. But I am so, so proud of you and I'm so happy you're here.

Well, thank you. And I'm so grateful to be here. And I have the best doctors and the best support system that I could ever imagine. And I also just think it is divine intervention that I'm in New York, that I'm with my family, that I have the inspir results community. And I just want people to know when I say make the impossible possible, I'm not kidding. You can do it. And this is just another opportunity for me to learn what I'm capable of. And I hope whatever people out there are going through, you take on that same attitude that it's something that you can become stronger from.

Girl, you popped out a baby and beat cancer in three months. Come on now.

You are a strong woman. That is for sure.

It's very emotional for me to hear you say it like that. It's true. I haven't processed it all yet, but I just have so much to be grateful for.

How's Madison?

Madison is my 10 year old and she has been an incredible light through all this. She's been so strong and I'm so proud of her for being able to talk about her feelings and her fears and to ask questions. We've had such great talks. And the other thing that I experienced during this time was just quality time with my kids. My two daughters haven't had this much time with me. Madison hasn't had this much time with me since she was a baby.

Right.

I've been working and working and working her whole life.

So single mom status until you met Mark.

Right. And so being home with her these past few months has just been a blast for me. Even though I was going through a lot, she was incredibly strong and incredibly brave and incredibly honest with me. I couldn't have asked for anything else. And we just got to enjoy each other. So my commitment to myself moving forward, like I said before, is to eliminate cancer from my life and working too much as a cancer in my life. So I'm committed to more time with my oldest daughter, period. Moving forward because why not? It goes so fast. She's already as tall as me. She's 10 years old. She's looking me in the eyes. It's time to really, really enjoy her. And she's always been my priority and she has always been my number one girl. But now I'm just committed to actually enjoying her as much as I possibly. And it got scary for a minute, having a baby and not knowing how long I was gonna be around. And I'm committed to just making the most out of every second on a whole new level.

Local life coach Rebecca Silence Returning to confession Tuesday inspiredresultscoach.com are you back at work now?

Yeah, so I am taking a little bit slow the getting back to work process and I am. I'm meeting with clients at the office. I've got a part time schedule now, which is a blast. I get to enjoy family and be at my office.

And you also have life coaches that have studied with you and have been certified and whatnot that are also taking new clients as well.

Yeah, there are some people available. Absolutely.

So inspired results. Coach.com if you have any questions for Rebecca, if you want to, you know, pick her brain about something, you can call us 733KISS. You can hit me up big papa@cmykiss.com tweet us Facebook and we'll do another segment with Rebecca Silence next on KISS fm.