Confession Tuesday 4-22-14 "LOOKING FOR A RAISE"

Paramore or it's 8 and a 5.97i 1055 Kiss FM. Big Papa in the morning. Morning clouds. Afternoon showers high of 62. Right now we are at 56 degrees. Sidekick Search Week 3 finalist Liz is in studio. And just like we've done for all the sidekick search finalists this week, throughout the entire course, we're gonna have you hang back a little bit during the confession Tuesday stuff. So sit, relax and, and think of it this way. It's almost like you're dodging a bullet.

What are you trying to say?

What? All I'm saying is that there are times when it can get a little uncomfortable and you know, on a confession.

Tuesday and everyone's always that choice.

Well, I understand that, Rebecca. I understand that. But at the same time, you know, it can get a little up close and personal and I want to, you know, make things sure that everything's even, even for everybody. So that's. That's where we're at.

Which is great.

So it is a confession Tuesday. Local life coach Rebecca silence is in studio. Inspired results coach.com and lots of stuff coming up for you. Not only like in the singles, you know, practice and, you know, one on one, but as far as corporate trainings and things of that nature, you have a ton of that stuff coming up.

Yeah, yeah. We're in lots of schools. We have lots of different businesses that we will be at very soon. And I love the corporate training piece. It is kind of like family coaching, just on a different level. I do lots with communication, building, conflict resolution, empowered leadership training. If you want any information about that, you can definitely go to the website.

Inspired results coach.com and of course you can. You can follow them on, on Twitter and also Facebook as well. So here's how it works. You go to see kiss.com you send us your story, what's going on in your world, what do you want help with?

And.

And Rebecca breaks it down to the nitty gritty and helps you get what you want, helps you get out of your own way.

Yes. And we are focusing on solutions, not focusing on the problem.

Right. So are you ready for number one? Yes.

What do we got?

All right. Dear Rebecca Bigpapa, I've been in my job for about three years. I do a good job. I'm considered a go to guy in my position, but I'm getting complacent. How can I stay motivated and maybe even move up and get a raise or a promotion?

What a great question. You know, first of all, I think when you're Feeling stagnant and bored. That's really good information to have. And it doesn't ever have to be that way. Right? We talk about when you're in drama at all, it's because you don't have a big enough game. And what I mean by that game is you don't have a big enough goal. You know, now my life is so full that I just choose not to spend time as. As often as possible in a big drama because I have so much going on that I'm looking forward to. I'm not really interested in spending an hour in a big drama with a friend or a family member. So when you have a bigger game, drama is less in your life. So you have the opportunity, as you're noticing that you're feeling complacent at work, to get ahead of any big drama. Because here's another reason why people do drama.

It's exciting, okay?

It's exciting. It's a way to create excitement when we're bored.

All right? You know what? That makes sense. That makes sense because, I mean, there. Everyone seems to have at least one person in their life that is like a drama. Like. Like the drama tornado. Yeah, that is so and so. Everybody. Everybody has that one person. At least one person.

And we can all be that person. Let's just.

I don't know what you're talking about. I've never been a drama.

Why do we do drama? Because we're bored, okay? That's a huge reason why. The other reason is to distract ourselves from dealing with our own stuff. But what I'm saying is you would have an opportunity to get ahead of creating a bunch of drama for excitement if you can create a bigger game here. So what I would suggest.

I love that you keep saying create a bigger game. Like you're going to, like.

Cause life is a game.

Like Saranac Thursday. Yeah, I got plenty of game. Yeah, we're good.

But what if life is like a game? Either winning, either you're losing, either you're playing, either you're not. So if you're not happy and fulfilled, you can step up your game. Right. And I'm a coach, so what do coaches do? We help people win.

Right.

Right.

At the game.

Yeah. Of life in this case. So what I would suggest.

I feel like we should have, like a. Like make T shirts. No.

Howard Potter.

Yeah. Actually, I was thinking like an actual board game, like Bring out Life. And that's what I feel like.

You can make an inspired results board game. Let's Confession Tuesday. I love that. Idea.

Absolutely. So. So this guy, he's, you know, he's getting complacent in his job and he wants to move forward. And you're saying you have to get a bigger game. So how. How can he do that?

So next you have to figure out what that looks like, what you would actually want. You're talking about maybe a promotion. Do you know specifically what you're wanting? Because I would encourage everyone out there. When you are setting goals, if you don't know what it is that you're looking for, how are you going to arrive? So I would encourage you to actually free write what it is that you're wanting. Are you wanting a specific salary, a specific position, a specific location, a different career altogether? And then you got to ask for it. Right. You got to find the resource or the person that can help you get where you're wanting to go. So one of the things that I did when I was working in corporate America was I would say, all right, this is the position that I ultimately want. What do I have to do to get there? Okay, what do you see in me that's working? What do I need to improve? How could I get myself there faster? Talk to me. How can I help you by being in this position? How can you help me get there? And if we don't start these conversations, people aren't gonna know that you're even interested.

And a lot of times, just having that conversation puts you on the radar with the higher ups because you're looking for to move forward. You're looking for more. You're not just doing, you know, you're not just doing the Monday through Friday, you know, 9 to 5, and that's it. You're looking for more long term.

Absolutely. And you might find out that they don't think you're a candidate at all. Good to know you can move on quicker. Right, right. Because people will stay in positions. I've seen it. People come into my office and they're wanting a promotion, and I'll say, all right, who have you talked to? Well, no one. And I'm so mad that I haven't gotten seen or noticed in seven years that I've been here. Well, all right, who could you talk to? I don't actually even know. These are the conversations that I've heard. And so find out who the go to would be and make sure you know what it is that you're asking of them when you have the conversation.

Yeah. And make sure you don't, like, show up late to work that day. That you have that conversation.

Yeah. You don't want to sabotage yourself.

Yeah. You want to pick and choose the timing on that, you know?

Yeah. And, you know, here's my thought.

I realize I overslept this morning, boss, but what can I do to help this company in the future?

We don't want to necessarily go down that road. But here's the thing. For anyone who gets nervous, like, maybe you know exactly what it is that you want, but you're just afraid to put yourself out there. Well, think about this. Why not you? Why shouldn't you get the job? If the job is available, why shouldn't it be you? And if you don't have that attitude, find a therapist, find a coach, and work on that. Because, of course, anything that you could ever want is already available to you as long as you're ready to receive it. So think about why not you, and go for whatever it is that you're wanting.

So what's. So what's the homework? Is it figuring out exactly what you want and just, like, putting a. Like a. I don't want to say putting a face to it, but putting, you know, almost a goal, Figuring out what the goal is.

So it would be the three steps. It would be, number one, know what it is that you're looking for.

Okay.

And if it doesn't scare you, it's not a big enough goal. Right. I mean, you want to have goals that scare you. When we're talking about a bigger game, think about what it is that would actually be fulfilling. But it's got to scare you, too.

But it's scary.

So anything I've ever done, anything I've ever done, it started out as crazy and scary. Thinking about owning my own business, thinking about even moving back to upstate New York, thinking about having a happy marriage. These things were not realistic necessarily, when I first started flirting with these possibilities.

Right.

So if you can't flirt with the possibility, how are you gonna create it? And don't play it safe. This is your life. Don't play it safe. Go for it, whatever it is that you're wanting. Or it's okay if you're not wanting to go for it, but if you're noticing that you're complacent and feeling bored, that just tells me that there's not a big enough goal, that there's not a big enough game. So go for knowing what it is that you're wanting. Then know who your resources are. That's the second step. And this is really important. Who are the people that you could talk to to get support and getting closer to your goal.

Okay.

And then number three is just to remember. Why not you? Why not you? Why, why not you having the greatest relationship? Why not you having a promotion? Why not you having this house, Whatever it is.

Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com go to cnykiss.com and tell us your story. Another segment on Confession Tuesday coming up next here on Kiss fm. That was really good.

Thanks.