This content was created by Rebeccah Silence. This content was uploaded by Rebeccah Silence. This is a YouTube video titled "Confession Tuesday 4-29-14 'GF MADE ME IN BED'" featuring a conversational segment between BIG PAPA and Rebeccah Silence recorded in May 2014. The content is a radio-style talk where Rebeccah Silence, a local life coach, discusses coaching circles, relationship advice, and answers a listener's question about consent and communication in intimate relationships. The discussion includes promotion of coaching services and emphasizes healthy communication in partnerships.
Questions this video answers
$15 from 7 to 8 (at the office in Whitesboro, 156 Main St.)
Rebeccah Silence (local life coach)
Confession Tuesday. Local life coach Rebecca Silence is in studio. Inspired results coach.com now you're doing the coaching circles tonight, which is, which is almost like sticking your big toe in the water as far as life coaching goes.
Yeah. You're not getting one on one work with me. It's just in a group setting. We talk about different tools and strategies every week. It's great. $15 from 7 to 8 at the office in Whitesboro, 156 Main St. You can get more information on the website.
And the nice thing is, is the, I don't want, I'm not sure what to call the, you know, the inspired results people, you know, like, like, because there's a crew that'll, that'll come to like, you know, a ton of stuff that you do and they're absolutely there. And my point is they're absolutely awesome and they're welcoming and they're so nice and friendly. So there's nothing to really be hesitant about because you know, sometimes people just like minded people. Right. Want more and that's. But people sometimes would be a little, I don't know, there's going to be other people there, you know, what if I know.
So you won't get anything found out in the group. That won't happen necessarily at all.
Right. So again, for details on that inspired results, coach.com also, if you have a business, if you have an organization and you want Rebecca to come and speak or be an emcee or do a talk, whether it be, you know, like you've had business clients about, you know, talking about workplace drama and this, that and the other. You're available for that as well?
Yes, yes. We do seminars on empowered leadership, conflict management, conflict resolution, communication, all kinds of things.
So again, details on that inspired results coach.com and of course you can like them on Facebook as well. All right, you ready for, for email number two?
Yes.
All right. We have to tread a little lightly.
Okay.
We have to tread a little lightly. So here we go. Dear Rebecca and Big Papa, I've been going out with a girl for a month and she tends to get a little freaky, maybe a little too freaky. The other night when we were hooking up, she wanted me to do something, but I didn't do it because it's really not my thing. So she grabbed my hand and made me do it. Certain things can be hot, but that totally took me out of the moment. Is it weird that my girlfriend wants me to do this when we hook up?
Okay, thank you for the very brave email.
So it really does. I mean, it really doesn't matter what the. Right, you know, what it is. It's the, you know, the comfort level, I guess.
And so here's the first thing. In a relationship, Both people are 50% of the relationship and always that choice. So no one can make you do anything in your relationship. Like, everybody get that. Nobody as an adult. Right. Get different for kids. But as an adult, nobody can make you do anything in your relationship. So you actually always get a vote in anything you're participating in. Right, right. You have the opportunity to stop things in their tracks, to say, wait a minute, I'm not comfortable with this, let's stop and talk about it, or to leave. So she can't make you do anything, or he, whatever your partner, whatever's happening there, nobody can make you do anything and what I think happens.
But if you're in the middle of an amusement ride, and if you say no, the amusement ride will stop, you know, then, you know, that's. That's the choice.
And that's the choice is the point. They're not. Either you're choosing to keep going or you're choosing to wait until you're comfortable to keep going. And I would suggest that for the longevity of your relationships, wait until you're comfortable to keep going, because otherwise you're just going to end up maybe being resentful or, or just kind of stand offish if you keep going and not not wanting to. So just understand that. I mean, there is the chance that there's a domestic violence situation and somebody is physically trying to force something. And again, you have the choice to either get help and get out and do something to stand up for yourself or not.
Okay, well, the, the. It's not. It's not.
No, I get that. But what I want everybody to understand is that I had to paraphrase a little bit. Forcing you. I. All the way. So now here's the other thing. Whatever you're actually wanting from your relationship doesn't make you a freak or wrong or weird. Right? I mean, every relationship. And I love doing my couples coaching in the office because every relationship is designed totally different. I don't have a cookie cutter approach that I do with all couples to create the same type of couple. Every couple, each has unique needs and wants and desires and dreams. And we're just teaching them how to communicate that to each other so that they can build each other up and both get what they're wanting.
Okay, so, you know, back to the email.
You know, they know she's Not a freak.
Well, here's the thing. It happened. He was uncomfortable about it, hence him doing the email. So how should he approach her about this?
Well, so the first thing is I.
Say turn the microphone.
Oh, sorry. I think, you know, you're really brave for going for it. The one who did say, hey, this is what I want, right? I mean, in every relationship, I'm gonna say, teach your partner what you want. Definitely go for it, because they won't know unless you teach them. So now partner knows what this person is looking for, and you have a choice as to whether or not that's something that you're comfortable with. And it's okay to say so I was uncomfortable when this happened. Can we talk about it? I would really encourage you to talk about it, but you have to come to the table knowing what you need. If you don't have a solution yet, don't have the conversation.
Okay?
Wait until you actually know what you want. Otherwise it can just become a big blame fest, and that's never going to amount to anything successful in your relationship. So you don't want to be accusatory and blaming and making the person wrong for what happened because you were part of it as well. It's both of you. It's not one person's fault what happened. So say what it is that you're looking for or even better yet, what you would be comfortable with. Come to the table and say, hey, this is what I would be comfortable with. This I wouldn't be. And see if you can communicate and find a solution that works for both of you.
It is confession Tuesday with inspired results. Coach.com's Rebecca Silence for details. And if you want to have something going on in your world addressed this time next week, go to cnykiss.com and.
So the homework is just don't hold back what you're really wanting from your partner because then you're gonna not feel satisf and things can ultimately blow up later. So I think it's great to put it out there, what you're looking for, and then work together to find something that works for both of you.
There's going to be some fun conversations.
Hey, go for it. Have those conversations.
Thank you, Rebecca. Awesome as well.
Thank you, everyone. Have a great week.
All right, we're going to break. Come back. Rachel is going to take the sidekick quiz next here on Kiss fm.
