Rebeccah Silence addresses resting bitch face and first impressions. She says you might be contributing to how people perceive you, so adjust if needed. But don't overvalue their opinions either. Instead, define your most inspired life, set realistic goals, and align your actions with that identity.
A confession Tuesday with life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com is the website. Good morning.
Good morning.
So I got a message about every girl not liking them. Apparently they have, like, resting bitch face.
Oh, yeah.
And they just come off cold to people, and it's hard to get past that and, like, get to know people because people have a preconceived notion about who they are and whatnot. So can we. Can we talk about making a good first impression or maybe coming or, you know, getting over that preconceived notion of people? Can we talk about that today?
Yeah. Yeah.
So by the way, Rebecca has no idea what you talk about.
Getting thrown at her always off the cuff, which is one of my favorite parts of this show. But I just want to say it back to you to make sure I absolutely understand.
Sure.
The question. So you're. You're saying basically, how do I have the best chance of being perceived the way that I want to be perceived?
Correct. Because a lot of times this is.
A really good question.
Well, people have. People see, I know people. People just, you know, people. People have resting bitch face and they look mean. They look mean or judging you or intimidating.
Yeah.
And whatnot. And sometimes people. People have a preconceived notion. So it's. You know, what's a good way to kind of overcome that if that's not what you're putting out? You know what I'm saying?
I think there's two sides to this coin. I think the first side of the coin is that it's important to pay attention to how the world is perceiving you so that you can check in with yourself around. You know, is there anything that I'm doing that I need to correct so that I'm perceived differently?
Okay.
Right. Like, that's the first side of the coin. But then the other side of the coin is it's nobody else's, you know, opinion that's more important than yours. So if. If somebody has an opinion of you that's negative, it's not your business. Oh, okay.
Okay.
It isn't your business what other people think of you. I like that. But it is your business whether or not you're paying attention to your actions and whether or not your actions are in alignment with who you want to be.
Okay.
Right. So you're responsible for how you show up in the world and whether or not that how you show up is congruent with who you really are or how you want to be, but other people's opinions of you. Because here's the deal. Everyone will have an opinion.
Well, they do say that. One thing about opinions.
Yeah. Everybody has one.
Everybody has one.
I'm judgmental. Everybody's judgmental. And so other people's judgments, what I'm saying is, don't worry about it. It's not about you. Because here's the other thing. How people see you, they're just looking into a mirror and seeing themselves.
Okay.
Other people's judgments of you or anybody else are a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Or sometimes it's a reflection of how they won't let themselves be. Like in my first marriage, I'll just use the example I was little missed responsibility and my husband was. Was very fun and didn't really care about responsibility. And I would be very upset about that, but I wouldn't let myself back then have a lot of fun. And so I was judging the part of me that I wouldn't allow myself to be.
So pretty much the biggest.
So your judgments are about you.
Yeah. The big thing is just be secure in who you are and the decisions that you're making and that it's, you know, goes in line with who you want to be as a person.
And what are you up to in this lifetime? What do you want in your most inspired life? What would your big dreams be? If anything was possible, that's the place to start. Like asking those questions. And then once you know your ideal, most inspired life and what it would look like, you can start paying attention to what you're doing.
Rebecca just went way deep on that.
And whether or not it gets you closer. But this is so important because how many people are just not satisfied? They're walking around the planet disappointed with their current results or their current life situation now. Right. And why? What you can do is start getting yourself inspired and on top of where you want your life to go. And you can do it in bite sized chunks. You don't have to plan out the next 10 years, but you could plan out the rest of 2017. What do you want to accomplish by January? What would be a big stretch? And then who do you have to be? Right. You can't. You know, I had a client who's wanting a certain type of relationship and then her life was not in a position to attract the type of person that she was wanting. And that happens a lot.
That makes sense.
Right? People want a job that they might not be willing to do the work it takes to get that job. And then why not stretch yourself? Why not raise the bar? And then other people's perception of you. I think it's important to pay attention so that you can find any truth that might exist. And how are they perceiving me? And here's what I did to cause that. But then don't put a lot of stock in other people's opinions. Your opinion matters. Your life matters. And are you going for it or not?
Rebecca silence. Inspired Results. Coach.com is the website Inspired Results, LLC. Like them on Facebook. And again, CMYkiss.com I did get all serious.
The glasses came off. She was great, though.
She got all central New York. She started talking with her hands. The glasses came came off also. Whenever she gets real pat, her voice goes up a little bit.
I want people inspired and not settling.
Exactly.
You should be surrounding yourself with people that want you to succeed. Yes. Very important.
