Radio interview (June 10, 2014) on Kiss FM featuring life coach Rebeccah Silence discussing self-image, body confidence, and practical coaching strategies. Topics include how self-worth shapes how others treat you, the limits of dieting/appearance for confidence, relationship dynamics tied to self-value, and a concrete homework exercise (listing top five insecurities and top five strengths) to begin raising one’s personal bar.
It is a confession. Tuesday, local life coach Rebecca Silence is in studio. Good morning.
Good morning.
So inspiredresultscoach.com is the. Is the website every time. And this is the only time you and I really get, like, legit FaceTime because both of our schedules are all over the place. I keep tabs on you through Facebook and, you know, through inspired results. Coach.com you did everything from primary private coaching to schools to businesses, all within like a day at some point. Right.
Last week was a busy, busy week. This one is as well. Yep. All over. And I really love it. I love businesses inviting me in the schools. I'm so grateful to be a part of that. Having honest conversations with the kids about what they do have control over, empowering them. And then the personal coaching is always just such a little bit of magic, you know, it really is watching people transform their lives.
And not only did you, as far as the school stuff goes, not only did you talk to the kids, but you also did something with the parents, too, is that right?
Yep. Last week we also had a parent workshop where we were just talking about transitioning into the summer and what you can do to set your entire family up to win for the summer.
Wow.
That can be a difficult time for families. No, just the lack of structure. So, yep, we had a great parent workshop on transitioning into summer and then also transitioning back into the fall when school gets here.
For details on all of that, if you would like Rebecca to come to your place of business, to your school, you can absolutely do so. Inspired results. Coach.com go to CNY kiss.com and tell us what's going on in your world and we'll handle it here on the radio. Confidentially, I want to talk about self image.
Okay.
I want to talk about self image. A lot of to do has been about the Miss USA pageant over the weekend.
Okay.
And about Miss Indiana. And she's been getting a lot of quote unquote praise because she's a little curvier and whatnot. And people who are, you know, curvier than she is are like, really, she's not that curvy. She's, you know, everyone would still kill for her body kind of a thing. And it really brings up the. It hits a nerve with a lot of people as far as the way their body looks and self image and self confidence. And we are still, you know, we're. We're getting into swimsuit season and whatnot. So this is a, this is a trigger point for a lot of people.
Absolutely. And especially with it being this time of year, right, where we're. We're hitting the summer months. You know, self image is really interesting, and it's something that I work on in a. In a very deep way in the personal coaching with people, because this is what I believe. And you don't have to believe this. Check it out for yourself. Everybody listening. But I really believe that no one will treat you better than you treat yourself, that it all stems from where your bar is for you. So people that have a really low bar for themselves. For example, I'm thinking of one client who's very upset with her husband of 40 years because she feels like he puts her last on the list, that she's not a priority. He doesn't put her first. And then when we look at the way she treats herself and she's constantly putting herself on the back burner, she's making sure that she doesn't get her needs met. And so that's how she's gonna experience people treating her as well. And this stems from beliefs about ourselves, from childhood, what we watched growing up. But self image, it all starts with, where is your bar for yourself? Is it high? Is it low? Are you one of those people who thinks, why wouldn't I get my goals? Or are you someone who is apologetic for wanting what you want in the world and just crossing your fingers that maybe someday you'll get it?
There are a lot of people that are apologetic for asking for what they want or getting what they want, or.
Even acknowledging what they want. You'd be amazed how many people come into my office and they say they don't know what it is that they're looking for. And I call BS on that. When I hear. I don't know, I hear I just don't value myself enough to pay attention. I just don't value myself enough to listen to what I want. So this is bigger than just your dress size. You know, this is bigger than that because it stems from where are you seeing yourself in terms of worthiness? That's where it all starts. And no matter what the scale says, no matter what the dress size, what I'm going to coach people to do is get really clear on where's your bar for yourself, because that's what it counts. That's what people are responding to, right? I mean, and I'm sure you've seen it. It doesn't matter what a woman's size is. It matters what her energy is. That's what's attractive. And it's the same with men. It's the same with men. Someone who is confident, that's way more attractive than somebody who is, you know, perfect body and that.
Yeah. Yeah. One of the things that I've said a bajillion times is confidence is sexy. That's. That's the absolute truth. Confidence is sexy. And you take someone who doesn't have that confidence and always needs that reassurance. That's a lot of work.
Well. And it's never gonna be enough.
No.
Good luck with that. You know, in so many relationships. I was doing a couples coaching a few days ago, Friday. It was the last session of the day on Friday. And this sweet woman was really wanting her boyfriend to read her mind. And he was great, because this is what he said. He said, all right, do you like it when I have my emotions and I cry when I'm sad? And she's like, oh, I love that. He's like, do you like it when I express my joy? She's like, oh, I love that. And he said, well, then I need you to appreciate, even when I'm angry, all of my emotions and just understand that there's never anything I can do that's gonna make you happy. You have to say what you need. And I thought, well, they don't need me anymore. He's got this Hannah, you know, I mean, it was perfect. And this girl, I'm just gonna tell you, talk about the body image. She's got a perfect body. She's gorgeous, but she still has that insecurity and neediness like almost everyone on the planet. And the scale's never going to give you your confidence or the dress size. It's about you being able to acknowledge what you need, ask for what you need, and be willing not to settle. So my coaching is for everybody to give yourself permission to get what you want. Give yourself permission to raise the bar on your own self worth. Because if you're not going to make yourself important, the rest of the world won't.
What's a. What's a good homework tip? What's a good, like, step one to kind of get there to, you know, maybe raise the bar or, you know, if it's, you know, if this is something that trips you up, what's a good way to kind of get going in the right direction?
I'm thinking about this for a second. All right, here's what I want people to do. Take a sheet of paper and fold it in half and on the left. Obviously not right now, especially if you're driving, but this is a homework assignment to do today or this week.
Not do it now. It's fine. Yeah, you're fine.
Take the left side of the paper.
It's stop and go. Go ahead. You're fine.
Take the left side of the paper. And I want you to write down your top five insecurities.
Ooh.
Just be honest. What are the top five trigger points? Those delicate.
That doesn't sound fun at all that.
You don't want to address, because here's the thing. Those are the issues that are running your life, like it or not. So top 5 insecurities. Just be honest. And then on the right column, I want you to write your top five strengths, those things that make you stand out, those things that separate you from the rest. Because we all have them. We all have unique talents, hobbies, and strengths that separate us from the rest. So on the left, you're going to write your top five insecurities. On the right, you're going to write your top five strengths and just be willing to go there with your top five strengths. And then what I want you to be doing is setting your life up around those strengths. Strengths. Instead of avoiding your insecurities, just switch it.
Nice. Local life coach Rebecca silence. Inspired results. Coach.comcnykiss.com your questions coming up on a confession Tuesday here on Kiss FM.
