Radio segment (Confession Tuesday) featuring life coach Rebeccah Silence and hosts Big Papa and Liz discussing how parents should calmly and effectively talk to their children about the June 2016 Orlando nightclub shooting. Advice centers on staying calm and neutral, providing age-appropriate facts, inviting children’s questions, modeling emotional regulation, and reinforcing safety, love, and support.
979-1055 KIDS FM. Kara with gold. This is Liz and Big Papa.
And it is a confession Tuesday with life coach Rebecca. Silence. Inspired results. Coach Calm. What we do here is we talk about whatever it is that you want us to address. And Rebecca's a life coach. She helps get the result that you want to get. And what's. What was brought up to us on Facebook was how to talk to your children about what happened in Orlando over the weekend. And, you know, so here's the situation. A guy walks into a dance club, you know, it's considered a gay club, and starts shooting off automatic weapons and kills 49 people and takes hostages. And so what is the best way to go about talking to your kids about something like this?
Yeah, so the most important thing to remember. And, you know, I think everyone listening, just take a deep breath. I mean, my stomach hurts just thinking about this situation and how devastating it was. And understand that your children will learn from you the meaning to put on the events that happen in their lives. So what I mean by that is they are going to learn how to interpret and think about life by watching you. So the most important.
I learned it by watching you, dad.
But they really do. But it's honestly mostly unconscious. Right. What I'm doing in coaching with individuals and couples and families in my office every single day of the week is helping them understand and recognize the unconscious meaning that they put onto things that happen to them in their childhood. So this event is a huge example of what can happen. So, you know, what are you saying about the gay community? What are you saying about guns? All of these topics. Your children are learning what to make it mean because they follow you, and what you say becomes gospel to them.
And it's. And it's more than just you having the conversation with them, because the kids are absolute sponges.
They're gonna listen to what you're saying to other people.
Exactly.
They're gonna hear all that, and they're gonna watch your face as you're watching the news. So they basically, what your opinion is about what happened will become gospel to your children. They will interpret it that seriously. So, you know, I would absolutely encourage you to have a conversation, but do your best to stay as neutral and as calm as possible. What are your questions? What do you think about this? What have you heard? You know, and then everyone's human and everybody has anger. And I think an important topic is to say, you know, when we're angry or sad or scared, it's so important to talk about it and to learn how to deal with those emotions in a healthy way, that's something that obviously wasn't happening for the individual that went into this club.
So do you think it's good to engage the child and ask them questions, if they have questions about that and be able to answer it that way?
I did get some criticism from. From some people when I was so open with Madison about getting cancer, my older daughter, but why not? I'm giving her the facts. So if you can give them the facts calmly and neutral and then ask them what their questions are and have a conversation about the importance of dealing with your emotions in a healthy way, I think that's the best gift that you can give to your child. Because we live in a world where unfortunately these things happen. And, you know, since 9, 11, more and more we're having situations occur on our soil here in the United States. So you want to make sure that they're educated about the facts. What are the actual facts about gun laws? What are the actual facts about being homosexual and letting them, you know, ask their own questions and come to you with what their fears are and what they're upset about, and then you might not have an answer. So you might say, hey, you know what? I'm gonna think about that and I'm gonna get back to you and go do some homework and come back to them. But if you're intense and angry and you know there's something wrong with guns, there's something wrong with gay people, there's something wrong with people from the Middle east, then your kids are digesting this and they are going to believe you. And then they will start talking to their friends and repeating what they hear you say. So calm and neutral. Let them know that they're loved, that they're safe, that they're supported, that unfortunately these things happen. And as a country, we can come together and be more loving and more supportive to everyone who breathes. When these situations happen, it reminds us to stay connected and to stay stay in leadership and to be as supportive and loving as possible to everyone on the planet.
Life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com if you have any questions, go to cnykiss.com or hit up Rebecca on Facebook and we can address them here on the air.
Yeah, and this is a really scary, horrible situation. And I'm just thinking, you know, when you have a conversations with your kids, why don't you ask them, what's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you? Use this as an opportunity to get to know what makes them tick and what they're afraid of that they might not be talking about yet a tool.
That you may want to use. And it's amazing that I'm. I'm using this. But Jimmy Fallon last night, he talked for about two minutes straight and just about his point of view on it. And he made a lot of sense. And he kind of broke, you know, kind of broke through everything. It's on our Facebook page. Facebook.com CNY Kiss. That may be a good way to kind of start the conversation with your kids as well. Rebecca, always awesome. Thank you so much.
Thank you. And keep the emails coming. We really appreciate it.
Absolutely. We're gonna break. Come back. It's Big Papa and Liz here on KISS fm.
