This content was created by Rebeccah Silence. This content was uploaded by Rebeccah Silence. This is a YouTube video titled "Confession Tuesday 7/18/17 GIRL INVITED TO BOYS CAMPING" featuring a conversational radio segment with multiple speakers including Rebeccah Silence, a life coach. The discussion centers around parenting concerns about an 8-year-old girl invited to a camping trip with a boy from school, focusing on boundaries, communication, and parental decision-making. The content was created in August 2017 and involves interactive advice given live on air.
The number one hit music station, 97i 155, Kiss FMZ. Liam Payne. That is get low. It's big papa and Liz.
What up?
Hi.
And it is confession Tuesday.
It is confession Tuesday with life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com Good morning.
Good morning.
So here's how it works. Out of confession Tuesday you go to cnykiss.com you submit your questions confidentially and. And Rebecca handles them here on the air as only she can do because she's not a therapist. She's not a psychologist or psychologist.
She's a life coach.
She is a life coach. Her job is to get you to where you want to be in life. And I mean, she has all the accreditations and whatnot, but this is how she does. This is how she rolls. Are you ready?
Yeah.
Okay. Dear Rebecca, my 8 year old daughter has been invited on a weekend camping trip with one of her friends from school who happens to be a boy. Problem is the boy's family don't have any daughters. I'm a little apprehensive. Would I be a bad parent if I say no?
Okay.
That'S tough.
It's a really good question though. So I think that as parents it is extreme, extremely important that your children pick their own friends. And then we are the guides in the safe space that provide structure and safe container for kids to learn and grow and stay safe.
Right.
No. You're not a bad parent if you say no. And you're not a bad parent if you say yes and request certain boundaries that will make you feel comfortable with the situation.
Okay, expound on that. What do you mean?
So if it's just a flat out no, there's nothing wrong with that and it's your child and you get to make the call and you can say, you know, the child isn't available this weekend, but we'd be happy to set up a play date on X, y or Z date. Are you available? Right. I also recommend when people are saying no to something, offer the solution that would work for you. Right. When you're in relationship, if something isn't going to work, think about what would and offer that instead. And then that way you put the ball back in the other person's court every single time instead of carrying the weight or guilt of I had to say no. It doesn't have to just be a no. It can be, it's, this is not going to work. But here's what would work instead. But then I'm also saying what if you're not a bad Parent if you say yes either. Like, what if it's okay to say yes, but then request certain boundaries. Right. Like, I would be happy to have my child attend camp. I can drop the child off at this time in the morning, pick the child up at this time at night, you know, bring them back the next morning. Like, maybe you're not okay with the overnight piece, but you're okay with certain times. Yeah. Or.
Or bring up the, you know, I. I'm not comfortable with the boy, girl, like, sleeping in the same tent together.
Right. Are they gonna have.
What are bedrooms? Yeah.
What are the way to have sleeping arrangements?
Yeah. What are the sleeping arrangements gonna be? And even if what is, you know, what they had in mind doesn't quite work for you, but being able to be like, I understand. I'm not necessarily comfortable with that, but I'd love to make sure she comes and has a good time, you know, work out that kind of pickup, you know, drop off, pick up kind of a deal.
Telling your truth, making requests, asking for what you want, unapologetically putting it back on the other person. You know, these are all really important things when we're talking about boundaries. Boundaries are just you being clear about what takes care of you and in this case, your child in the situation.
Right.
And then I think there's also a factor around. How close are you with this family? Are they strangers? You know, one of my best, best friends on the planet, I met in a Survival for New Moms class when our children were two months old. She has a son, I have a daughter. They've been doing sleepovers together since they were essentially three, four, five months old. So it would be no big deal if my daughter wanted to spend the night at this friend's house with her son. They wouldn't be in the same batter room. There would be separate sleeping arrangements.
But you would. You would already know that going in.
This is essentially family.
Right?
Right. So it is not a problem at all. But you've gotta determine what makes you comfortable and then be brave enough and honest enough to ask for it and say no to what isn't gonna work. It isn't ever about making sure the other person doesn't get uncomfortable. It's about making sure that you and your children are set up to win. And then there's always a solution, and there's always a creative way to set yourself up to feel good about the decisions that you've made.
And being able to communicate like that doesn't punish your either, you know, that way, everyone, you know It's a win win for everybody.
Yeah. And if you don't ask, how are you going to know whether or not a different solution would have worked? So think about what takes care of you, what takes care of your kid. Is this a yes? Is it a no? And it doesn't have to be dramatic. It's either a yes, please or a no, thank you. And it's that simple. With any choice that we have presented to us.
Absolutely.
Like either a yes or no.
You know, like, hey, do you want ice cream? Yes, please.
That's. Or if you're lactose intolerant. No, thank you.
No, thank you.
And that's what they do.
However, Italian ice would work. See, there's the honesty.
The other thing is that I just want to point out, your children are going to watch how you handle this and you can be respectful and have a conversation. And the biggest thing I see in my coaching practice when relationships are in breakdown is that people stopped communicating before they got to the solution. So whatever it is that you're up against, be willing to have that honest conversation all the way to the point of having a solution that works for Everybody.
Inspired results. Coach.com is the website Rebecca Silence life coach extraordinaire on a confession Tuesday. Amazing as always.
Thanks, everyone. Have a great week.
Absolutely. Cnykiss.com, get your questions in for next week.
