A short radio/YouTube segment (Confession Tuesday, July 5, 2016) featuring Big Papa and life coach Rebeccah Silence responding to a listener whose parents still support her ex after a three-year relationship ended. The hosts provide practical one-liners to set boundaries with family, encourage self-reflection on relationship patterns, and promote coaching resources (InspiredResultsCoach.com and a women's weekend).
97I 1055 Kiss FM 752 is Liz and Big Papa.
It is a confession Tuesday with life coach Rebecca. Silence.
You got it.
You all right? You okay there? You all right? All right, thank you. I appreciate it. Okay, so go to cnykiss.com and submit your story for next week. As far as getting help here on the air from Rebecca, Rebecca's website is inspired results coach.com and she has a women's weekend coming up which is selling quite fast. And again, details on that on the website as well. So here is this week's email. Dear Rebecca, my boyfriend and I have broken up after close to three years of dating. It wasn't working and we weren't happy, but my parents are still in love with him. They are constantly hinting for me to call him or to get back together. What can I do to make them stop? Without going into deep details.
All right, so this is an email I think most people can relate to in terms of how do I really know the relationship is over? Your family, your parents are just loving you and wanting what's best for you. So a great one liner with family members that get into your business and try to tell you where you're screwing up and what you could be doing different. A great one liner is just thank you for loving me. If I want your opinion, I will definitely ask for it. Yeah, that's good. Very effective. I like that. The other thing is just thank you for loving me and, you know, I'll let you know if I need anything. You can say it both of those ways.
That's very. Oh, okay.
All right. Okay. I had an aunt at the family reunion this weekend. Oh, you're drinking wine and. Yes, I am. And I'm healthy and thank you for loving me and I'm really careful with.
It and let me have my wine. And it's well deserved.
So I think your parents probably are coming from a space of love and just wanting what's best for you. And it's easy to get defensive, but you don't have to. You don't have to do anything to make your parents feel better about this. It is when a family breaks up. It's the whole family. Right. Because your family has bought in and really given this person a lot of support and probably visualize them in your life for a long time. So they're breaking up, too. Everybody's kind of breaking up. But you know what's best for you and you can be a stand for that. The other thing to just keep in mind Is it lasted three years. Just really figuring out what the breakdown was, what was it that was the final deal breaker. And figure that out so that you can work with a therapist or a mentor and a coach to get through it so you don't repeat it with the next person. That's, I think, the most important thing out of this email that I would coach you to consider looking at the truth about what your part in this breakdown was so that you don't repeat the pattern because it will come back again.
And that's great for you to say because a lot of times, no matter what the who the person is, there are certain things where, like it always ends at this point because of. Because of XYZ or relationships always turn into this for some reason. And just kind of recognizing that and figuring out how to kind of tweak things really.
And keep in mind that you're attracted to what you need to heal in yourself. So people get. I'm not really that attracted to that person. Okay, but what is attraction? Right? We attract our pattern. We attract what we still haven't worked through so that we can work through it. And then a lot of people stop before they work through it and then end up repeating the same breakdown again and again and again. I do so much work with couples. I work with them in couples coaching, and I even do one day or two day couples intensives. And this is the biggest thing that I do with couples is figuring out, all right, what are my big trigger points, what are my patterns and how do I set this relationship up to win where I'm not just in this relationship with you playing out my pattern. And I really think it's important to also say people are looking for a reason to stay together or they're looking for a reason to break up.
Say that again.
People are either looking for a reason to stay together or they are looking for a reason to break up. So if you're with someone who's looking for a reason to break up, they will find it. If you're someone looking for a reason to break up, you will find it. And the magic happens when you have two people who are constantly, no matter what is happening, looking for a reason to stay together. Together. And it's always there.
Life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com on a confession Tuesday. Absolutely awesome.
Absolutely awesome.
Yes.
So I want you to write down what happened when you broke up and what it is that you need to learn from that so that your next relationship can be successful. And then tell your parents, thank you so much for loving me. I need your support and letting this.
Go and let me drink my wine.
Keep those emails coming. That inspired results Women's weekend is filling fast so get in touch with me if you want one of those spots. Everyone have a wonderful week.
Inspired results coach.com or like Rebecca Silence on Facebook Rebecca Silence and look for.
