Transcript of an August 2017 Confession Tuesday segment (host Rebeccah Silence) discussing tips for children starting a new middle/high school and how parents can support transitions. Key advice: parents should manage their energy and verbal messaging, ask children about emotional needs (not just supplies), involve school counselors, and use sports or clubs to build social support and discipline.
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And it is a confession Tuesday with life coach Rebecca silence inspired results. Coach.com Good morning.
Good morning.
So today's topic was submitted and it's because the school sports are starting to go back in.
Okay.
And this person has someone that's starting a new school and they were looking for tips as a parent to help with the child going to the new school and maybe even tips for the child going to the new school as far as, you know, because that's intimidating, you know.
You know, do we know the age?
I don't.
Okay.
I don't. But from, from the way it was, I believe it's like a middle school, high school kind of a thing. It's not elementary school, so. But yeah, if we could talk about like start, you know, getting ready for school and starting at a new school specifically or what, I think that would be really beneficial this week.
And then this kid's also playing SP at the new school.
I believe so.
Okay. Yeah. So, you know, I love this time of year because it's a natural transition.
Pumpkin everything. Pumpkin everything.
I'm a huge fan of pumpkin, let me tell you. But yeah, it's a natural transition time. And it's a really cool natural transition time to be starting a new school versus if it was in January or middle of school year, a middle of the. Between September and January or between January and June.
Oh, yeah.
Situation. Right. Which sometimes can happen. So, you know, in any big change, whether it's starting a new school or, you know, even a divorce or the parents starting a new job or moving houses, the children follow the parents energy.
Okay?
So your kids will respond to you and how you're feeling about the change as well as listening to what you say about it. But how you feel to your kids is what they're paying more attention to versus anything you say. Right. So for example, if you're saying, oh, this is going to be great, but then behind the scenes, when you're making dinner, you're talking to your spouse, oh, I don't know if this is going to work out. This is difficult. This is hard. It's a new school, you know, your.
Kids even not you're. Even though you're not saying it to your kids, right. They're still hearing it and absorbing it.
They're giving up on the vibration for lack of a better way to explain. And if your energy is funky and anxious, they're gonna feel that and they're gonna follow that. So, you know, it is a time for you to reinvent together as a family when you're starting a new school. But just know that if you're excited about it and confident about it, that's gonna give your children some hope and it's gonna help them with the transition. I also invite parents to talk to their kids about what do you need as we start the new school year versus.
Yeah, there's a list. There's a list. Every year there's a list.
But not just the supplies. Oh, I'm talking about emotional needs. Oh, right.
Okay.
So this is something that's really important.
This is why I'm bad at this.
I know. I can tell. In my office, I get to. You're not bad at this. In my office, I get the privilege of coaching entire families. And one of the things that I see all the time is the parent telling the child in the beginning what the child needs instead of asking. Big difference.
Sure.
So this is what's going to set you up to win. You need to do this, you need to do that, you need to do this is not going to necessarily support your kid.
Right.
Asking them, okay, what is it that we need to do to set you up? What helps you? What do you want? And it can be, you know, buying a new alarm clock. It can be getting the school supplies handled because that's stressing them out. It can be taking a tour of the school, driving around the school. And whatever the kid says, if it's totally unrealistic, I'm not saying the parent has to do it, but it's just about giving your child a voice.
Sure.
In the situation that they probably have no control over and didn't ask for.
Right.
So giving your kid a voice is super important. Listening and then paying attention to your energy and whether or not you're kind of micromanaging how you think this needs to go for your kid.
I think that's huge because I think that a lot of parents. And maybe I'm wrong, but I think a lot of parents are just like, oh, you'll be fine. Da, da, da, da. And they don't realize that the conversations that they're having with whomever but the other. But the child is within earshot that may be contradictory. Are being heard or being absorbed. And I think that's huge.
Absolutely. And then the other pieces, you may want to just invite your child to see a therapist or a counselor or a coach. Ask them, you know, is there anybody you want to talk to? And then make sure. The school counselor knows that this child is starting new. That's how I started right. As a school counselor. And it's a great resource that I believe isn't utilized nearly enough.
Absolutely.
The school counselors are awesome and they really care. So make sure the counselor is involved and make sure you have a relationship with the counselor that now as far as sports go, you know, that's a whole other can of worms. Starting sports. I happen to this year now be a dance mom of a competition dancer. This is the first year we're doing that. So it's dance every single day. And you know, with sports in school, it's every single day actually.
If I would imagine that doing sports would actually help with the transition if you're starting a new school. Because you know the sports, especially in the fall time, start before school starts. So they actually know people before the first day. So I think that's a, that's a.
Positive getting your child involved and then. Very true. They're going to have kind of a built in support system, meet some people hopefully and that it's a great way to get the kid involved. Now if they're not doing sports and they're starting a new school, get them involved in a club or music or theater or something so that they have an opportunity to meet people. And then I also like the discipline of sports because you have to have a certain grade point average. You have a coach that if the kids aren't listening to the parent, the parent can be like, hey coach, here's what's going on. You know, I have that all the time. When I have teenagers that are, that are working with me and they're slacking, I call the coach. Why not?
That just blew people's minds because some people don't think to do that.
Of course.
Inspired results. Coach.com Rebecca Silence on a confession Tuesday. Amazing as well. Thanks.
Good luck with this transition or whatever transitions you're in. It's a great time of year to start fresh. We just had the eclipse. It's new beginnings. So good luck.
